CHAPTER VIII.
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling.
"Hello."
"Is this the doctor's office?"
"This is his residence."
"Pshaw! I wanted his _office_."
"The doctor 'phoned me about ten minutes ago that he would be out forhalf an hour and asked me to answer the 'phone in his absence," Maryexplained, pleasantly.
"Oh," said the voice, somewhat mollified, "I'll just call him up when hegets back. You say he'll be back in half an hour?"
"In about that time."
She went back to her work, which happened to be upstairs this morning,leaving the doors ajar behind her that she might hear the 'phone. In twominutes she was summoned down.
"What is it?"
"Is this the doctor's office?"
"No, the residence."
"I rang for the office, sorry to have troubled you, Mrs. Blank," said aman's voice.
"We are connected and when the doctor is out he expects me to bebell-boy," said Mary, recognizing the voice.
"I see. Will you please tell the doctor when he comes that my little boyis sick this morning and I want him to come down. Will he be back soon?"
"In a few minutes, I think."
She sat down by the fire. No use to go back upstairs till she haddelivered the message. This was a pleasing contrast to the other; Mr.Owen had volunteered his message as if she really had a right to knowand deliver it.
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Mary felt reluctant toanswer it--it sounded so like the first. And it was not the house callthis time, but two rings which undeniably meant the office. But she mustbe true to the trust reposed in her. She went to the 'phone and softlytaking down the receiver, listened; perhaps the doctor had got back andwould answer it himself. Fervently she hoped so. But there was onlysilence at her ear, and the ever present far-off clack of attenuatedvoices. The silence seemed to bristle. But there was nothing for ourlistener to do but thrust herself into it.
"Hello," she said, very gently.
"O, I've got _you_ again, have I! I _know_ I rung the office this time,for I looked in the book to see. How does it happen I get the house?"Ill temper was manifest in every word.
"The office and residence are connected," explained Mary, patiently,"and when the 'phone rings while the doctor is out, he asks me to answerit for him."
"I don't see what good _that_ does."
"It doesn't do any good when people do not care to leave a message,"said Mary quietly.
"Well, I'd ruther deliver my message to _him_."
"Certainly. And I would much rather you would. I can at least say aboutwhat time he expects to return."
"You said awhile ago he'd be back in half an hour and he's not back_yet_."
The doctor's wife knew that she was held responsible for the delay. Shesmiled and glanced at the clock.
"It is just three minutes past the half hour," she said.
"Well, we're in an awful hurry for him. I'll ring agin d'reckly."
In five minutes a ring came again. Surely he would be there now, thoughthis wife, but she must go to the 'phone. She listened. Silence. Then thebell pealed sharply forth again. She decided to change her tactics andput the other woman on the defensive:
"Well!" she said impatiently, "I'm _very_ sorry to have to answer youagain but--"
"Is the doctor there?" asked a sweet, new voice. "Pardon me forinterrupting you, but I'm very anxious."
"He will be at the office in just a few minutes," Mary answered, verygently indeed. She realized now that one cannot "monkey" with thetelephone.
"Will you please tell him to come at once?" and she gave the street andnumber.
"I shall send him at once."
"Thank you, good-bye."
Before Mary could seat herself, the expected ring came in earnest. Sheanswered it meekly.
"O, good gracious! hain't he got there yet--?"
"Not yet," said Mary, offering nothing further.
"Well, I've jist _got_ to have a doctor. I'll git some one else." Thethreat in the tone made our listener smile.
"I think it would be a good thing to do," she said.
A pause. Then a voice with softening accents.
"But I'd lots ruther have Dr. Blank." No reply.
"Are ye there yit, Mrs. Blank?"
"Yes. I am here."
"He'll surely be back in a little bit now, won't he?"
"I think so."
"Won't _you_ tell 'im to come down to Sairey Tucker's? I'm her sisterand she's bad sick."
"If you will tell me where you live I will send him."
"He knows--he's been here."
"Very well," and she rang off.
With three messages hanging over her head and her conscience, she couldnot go upstairs to her work. She must dawdle about at this or that 'tillthe doctor returned. After awhile she went to the 'phone and called theoffice. No reply. How she longed to deliver those messages. She dreadedany more calls from the waiting ones. She waited a few minutes then rangagain. Thank fortune! Her husband's response is in her ear, the messagesare delivered and she goes singing up the stairs.
* * * * *
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling.
It was the telephone on the Doctor's office table and a tall youngfellow was ringing it. When he got the number and asked, "Is this you,Fanny?" his face took on an expression good to see. It was Fanny, and hesettled back on one elbow and asked, "What you doing, Fanny?"
"Nothing, just now. What _you_ doing?"
"Something a good deal better than that."
"What is it?"
"It's talking to _you_."
"Oh!"
"Is that all you have to say about it?" his voice was growing tender.
"Now, Tom, don't go to making love to me over the 'phone."
"How can I help it, sweetheart?"
"Where are you, anyway?"
"I'm in Dr. Blank's office."
"Good gracious! is _he_ there? I'll ring off--good-bye."
"Wait! Fanny--Fanny!"
Fanny was waiting, but how could a mere man know that. He rang thenumber again with vehemence.
"Now, Tom Laurence, I want you to quit going into people's offices andtalking to me this way."
"Don't you think my way is nicer than yours--huh?"
The circumflexes were irresistible.
"Well, tell me, Tom, is Dr. Blank there?"
"No, honey. He's away in the back room busy with another patient. Hecan't hear."
"_Another_ patient? Why, Tom, you're not _sick_, are you--huh?"
Fanny's circumflexes were quite as circumflexible as Tom's and a thrillwent down the young giant's spine.
"No, but I wish I was!"
At this juncture the man who could not hear came in with a face as graveand non-committal as the Sphinx, and the young man asked through the'phone in brisk, cheery tones, "How are you this morning?" then added ina whisper, "He's here now."
"Is he? Don't talk foolish then. Why, I'm not very well."
"What's the matter?"
"I burned my eye."
"Burned your eye! Confound it! How did you _do_ it?"
"With a curling iron."
"Throw the darned thing away." He turned from the telephone and said,"Doctor, a young lady has burned her eye. I want you to go out thereright away."
"Where shall I go?" asked the grave doctor.
"I guess you know," and he grinned.
"All right. I'll go pretty soon."
"Don't be too long. Charge it to me."
"Fanny," he said, turning back to the 'phone, but Fanny had gone.
And soon with a smile that had memories in it the doctor took his caseand left the office, the young man at his side.
* * * * *
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling.
Mary, from the living room, heard her husband's voice:
&n
bsp; "What is it?"
"Yes."
"They won't? O, I suppose so if nobody else will. I'll be up there in alittle bit." He muttered something, took his hat and went.
When he came back, he said, "This time I had to help the dead."
"To help the dead!" exclaimed Mary.
"Yes. To help a dead woman into her coffin. Everybody was afraid totouch her."
"Why?"
"The report got out that she died of smallpox. I only saw her once andcould not be sure, but to be on the safe side I insisted that everyprecaution be taken--hence the scare."
"But how could you lift the body without help?"
"Oh, I managed it somehow. Just the same I'd rather minister to theliving," said John, to which Mary gave vigorous assent.
* * * * *
"Old Mr. Vintner has just been 'phoning for you in a most imperiousway," announced Mary as the doctor came in at the door.
"Yes, old skinflint! The maid at his house is very sick and he's soafraid they'll have to take care of her that he's determined to send herhome when she can't go. She has pneumonia. She lives miles out in thecountry--"
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling-ling.
"Yes."
"Now see here, Vintner. Listen to me."
"Yes, I know. But a man's got to be _human_. I tell you you can't sendher out in this cold. It's outrageous to--"
"Yes, I know all that, too. But it won't be long--the crisis will comein a day or two now and--"
"Damn it! Listen. Now stop that and listen. Don't you attempt it! Thatgirl will be to drag off if you do, I tell you--"
"All right then. That sounds more like it," and he hung up the receiver.
Mary looked up. "You are not very elegant in your discourse at times,John, but I'm glad you beat," she said.
* * * * *
One evening the doctor came in and walked hurriedly into thedining-room. As he was passing the telephone it rang sharply in his ear.
"What is it?" he asked, hastily putting up the receiver.
An agitated voice said, "Oh, Doctor, I've just given my little girl ateaspoonful of carbolic acid! Quick! What must I do!"
"Give her some whiskey at once; then a teaspoonful of mustard in hotwater. I'll be right down," and turning he went swiftly out. When hecame back an hour or two later he said: "The mother got the wrongbottle. A very few minutes would have done the work. The telephone savedthe child's life. This is a glorious age in which we are living, Mary."
"And to think that some little children playing with tin cans with astring stretched between them, gave to the world its first telephonemessage."
"Yes, I've heard that. It may or may not be true. Now let's havesupper."
"Supper awaits Mr. Non-Committal-Here-As-Ever," said Mary as she laidher arm in her husband's and they went toward the dining-room together.
* * * * *
One evening the doctor and Mary sat chatting with a neighbor who haddropped in.
"I want to use your 'phone a minute, please," said a voice.
"Very well," said Mary, and Mrs. X. stepped in, nodded to the trio,walked to the telephone as one quite accustomed, and rang.
"I want Dr. Brown's office," she said. In a minute came the hello.
"Is this Dr. Brown? My little boy is sick. I want you to come out to seehim this evening. This is Mrs. X. Will you be right out?"
"All right. Good-bye." And she departed.
The eyes of the visitor twinkled. "Our neighbor hath need of two greatblessings," she said, "a telephone and a sense of humor." Mary laughedmerrily, "O, we're so used to it we paid no attention," she said, "but Isuppose it did strike you as rather funny."
"It's a heap better than it used to be when we didn't have telephones,"said the doctor, with the hearty laugh that had helped many a downcastman and woman to look on the bright side.
"When I was a young fellow and first hung up my shingle it was asurprising thing--the number of people who could get along without me. Iused to long for some poor fellow to put his head in at the door and sayhe needed me. At last one dark, rainy night came the quick, importunateknock of someone after a doctor. No mistaking that knock. I opened thedoor and an elderly woman who lived near me, asked breathlessly, 'Mr.Blank, will you do me a great favor?'
'Certainly,' I answered promptly.
'My husband is very sick and I came to see if you would go down and askDr. Smithson to come and see him.' I swallowed my astonishment andwrath, put on my rubber coat and went for the doctor."
"But she had the grace to come in next day," said Mary, "and tell me inmuch confusion that she was greatly embarrassed and ashamed. It had notentered her head until that morning that my husband was a physician."
"You see," put in the doctor, "she had not taken me seriously; in facthad not taken me at all."
"Tell us about the old man who had you come in to see if he needed adoctor," said Mary. The doctor smiled, "_That_ was when I didn't count,too," he said.
"This old fellow got sick one day and wanted to send for old Dr. Brown,but being of a thrifty turn of mind he didn't want to unless he had to.He knew me pretty well so he sent for me to come and see if he _needed_a doctor. If I thought he did he'd send for Brown. I chatted with himawhile and he felt better. Next day he sent word to me again that hewished I'd stop as I went by and I did. This kept up several days and hegot better and better, and finally got well _without_ any doctor, as hesaid."
The visitor laughed, "You doctors could unfold many a tale--"
"If the telephone would permit," said Mary, as the doctor answered theold summons, took his hat and left.
* * * * *
"John," said Mary one day, "I wish you would disconnect the house fromthe office."
"No! You're a lot of help to me," protested the doctor.
"Well, I heard someone wrangling with central today because the houseanswered when it was the office that was wanted." She laughed. "I knowthere are people who fancy the doctor's wife enjoying to the utmost her'sweet privilege' of answering the 'phone in her husband's absence.Poor, innocent souls! If they could only know the deadly weariness of itall--but they can't."
"Why, I didn't know you felt quite that way about it, Mary. I suppose Ican disconnect it but--"
"But you don't see how you can? Never mind, then. We'll go on, and somesweet day you'll retire from practice. Then hully-gee! won't I be free!You didn't choose the right sort of helpmeet, John. You surely couldhave selected one who would enjoy thrusting herself into the reluctantconfidences of people far more than this one."
"I'm resigned to my lot," laughed John, as he kissed his wife anddeparted.
* * * * *
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling.
"Is this you, Doctor?"
"Yes."
"What am I ever to do with Jane?"
"Keep her in bed! That's what to do with her."
"Well, I've got a mighty hard job. She's feeling so much better, shejust _will_ get up."
"Keep her down for awhile yet."
"Well, maybe I can today, but I won't answer for tomorrow. She says shefeels like she can jump over the house."
"She can't, though."
Laughter. "I'll do the best I can, Doctor, but that won't be much.Keeping her in bed is easier said than done," and the doctor grinned avery ready assent as he hung up the receiver.
* * * * *
The doctor's family was seated at dinner. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Johnrose, napkin in hand, and went while the clatter of knives and forksinstantly ceased.
"Yes."
"Why didn't you do as I told you, yesterday?"
"I _told_ you what to do."
"Well, did you put them in hot water?"
"Then do it. Do it right away. Have the water _hot_, now."
"I bet I know what that was," spoke up the small boy.
"What?" asked his sister.
"Diphtheria clothes. There's a family in town that's got thediphtheria."
Mary was relieved--not that there should be diphtheria in town, but thatthe answer for which her mind was vaguely groping had probably beenfound.
* * * * *
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. When the doctor had answered the summons he toldMary he would have to go down to a little house at the edge of townabout a mile away. When he came back an hour later he sat down beforethe fire with his wife. "I remember a night nineteen years ago when Iwas called to that house--a little boy was born. I used to see thelittle fellow occasionally as he grew up and pity him because he had noshow at all. Tonight I saw him, a great strapping fellow with a goodposition and no bad habits. He'll make it all right now."
The doctor paused for a moment, then went on. "They didn't pay me then.I remember that. I mentioned it tonight in the young fellow's presence."
"John, you surely didn't!"
"Yes, I did. His mother said she guessed Jake could pay the billhimself."
Mary looked at this husband of hers with a quizzical smile.
"Doesn't it strike you that you are going pretty far back for yourbill?"
"There's no good reason why this boy should not pay the bill if he wantsto."
"No, I suppose not. But I don't believe he was so keen to get into theworld as all that."
"Well, it wouldn't surprise me much if that young fellow should comeinto my office one of these days and offer to settle that old score nowthat he knows about it."
"Don't you take it if he does!" and Mary left the room quite unconsciousthat her pronoun was without an antecedent.
* * * * *
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling.
"Is this you, Doctor?"
"It is."
"I expect you will have to come out to our house."
"Who is it?"
"This is Mary Milton."
"What's the matter out there, Mrs. Milton?"
"Polly's gone and hurt her shoulder. I guess she run it into theground."
"Was she thrown from a horse or a vehicle?"
"No."
"Then how could she run it into the ground?"
"Polly Milton can run _everything_ into the ground!" and the tone wasexasperation itself. "I come purty near havin' to send for youyesterday, but I managed to get 'er out."
"Out of _what_?"
"The clothes-wringer. She caught her stomach fast between the rollersand nearly took a piece out of it. Nobody wanted her to turn it but shewould do it."
"Well, what has she done _today_?" asked the doctor, getting impatient.
"I'm plum ashamed to tell ye. She was a-playin' leap-frog."
"Good! I'd like to play it myself once more."
"I thought you'd be scandalized. Some of the girls come over to see 'erand the first thing I knowed they was out in the yard playin' leap-froglike a passel o' boys."
"That's good for 'em," announced the doctor.
"It wasn't very good for Polly."
"The shoulder is probably dislocated. I'll be out in a little while andwe'll soon fix it."
"But a great big girl nearly fourteen years old oughtn't--"
"She's all right. Don't you scold her too much." He laughed as he hungup the receiver, then ordered his horse brought round and in a fewminutes was on his way to the luckless maiden.
* * * * *
Ting-a-ling-ling-ling--three rings.
"Is this Dr. Blank?"
"Yes."
"Can you come down to James Curtis's right away?"
"Yes--I guess so. What's the matter?"
James Curtis stated the matter and the doctor put up the receiver, wentto the door and looked out.
"Gee-mi-nee! It's as dark as a stack of black cats," he said.
In a little while he was off. He had to go horseback and as the horse heusually rode was lame he took Billy who was little more than a colt.Before Mary retired she went to the door and opened it. It was fearfullydark but John had said it was only a few miles. His faithful steed couldfind the way if he could not. John always got through somehow. With thiscomforting assurance she went to bed. By and by the 'phone was ringingand she was springing up and hastening to answer it. To the hurriedinquiry she replied, "He is in the country."
"How soon will he be back?"
She looked at the clock. Nearly three hours since he left home.
"I expected him before this; he will surely be here soon."
A message was left for him to come at once to a certain street andnumber, and Mary went back to bed. But she could not sleep. Soon she wasat the 'phone again, asking central to give her the residence of JamesCurtis.
"Hello."
"Is this Mr. Curtis?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Is Dr. Blank there?"
"He was, but he started home about an hour ago. He ought to be there bythis time."
"Thank you," said Mary, reassured. He would be home in a little bit thenand she went back to her pillow.
It was well she could not know that her husband was lost in the woods.The young horse, not well broken to the roads, had strayed from thebeaten path. The doctor had first become aware of it when his hat wasbrushed off by low branches. He dismounted, and holding the bridle onone arm, got down on hands and knees and began feeling about with bothhands in the blackness. It seemed a fruitless search, but at last hefound it and put it securely on his head. He did not remount, but triedto find his way back into the path.
After awhile the colt stopped suddenly. He urged it on. Snap! A bigsomething was hurled through the bushes and landed at the doctor's feetwith a heavy thud. The pommel of the saddle had caught on a grape vineand the girths had snapped with the strain. John made a few remarkswhile he was picking it up and a few more while he was getting it on theback of the shying colt. But he finally landed it and managed to get ithalf-fastened. He stood still, not knowing which way to turn. A dog wasbarking somewhere--he would go in that direction. Still keeping thebridle over his arm he spread his hands before him and slowly moved on.
At last he stopped. He seemed to be getting no nearer to the dog. All atonce, and not a great way off, he saw a fine sight. It was a lighteddoorway with the figure of a man in it. He shouted lustily,
"Bring a lantern out here, my friend, if you please. I guess I'm lost."
"All right," the man shouted back and in a few minutes the lantern wasbobbing along among the trees. "Why, Doctor!" exclaimed James Curtis,"have you been floundering around all this time in these woods so closeto the house? Why didn't you holler before?"
"There didn't seem to be anything to 'holler' at. Until that door openedI thought I was in the middle of these woods."
"Your wife just telephoned to know if you were at our house and I toldher you started home an hour ago."
"She'll be uneasy. Put me into the main road, will you, and we'll maketracks for home."
When he got there and had told Mary about it, she vowed she would notlet him go to the country again when the night was so pitch dark,realizing as she made it, the futility of her vow. Then she told him ofthe message that had come in his absence and straightway sent him outagain into the darkness.
* * * * *
It was midnight. The doctor was snoring so loudly that he had awakenedMary. Just in time. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling-ling. By hard work she got himawake. He floundered out and along toward the little tyrant. He reachedit.
"Hello. What is it?"
"O! I got the wrong number."
"Damnation!"
Slumber again. After some time Ma
ry was awakened by her husband's voiceasking, "What is it?"
"It's time for George to take his medicine. We've been having a disputeabout it. I said it was the powder he was to take at two o'clock and hesaid it was the medicine in the bottle. Now he's mad and won't takeeither."
"It was the powder. Tell him I say for him to take it now."
The answering voice sank to a whisper, but the words came verydistinctly, "I'm afraid he won't do it--he's so stubborn. I wish it wasthe bottle medicine because I believe he would take that."
The doctor chuckled. "Give him that," he said. "It won't make a greatdeal of difference in this case, and thinking he was in the right willdo him more good than the powder. Good night and report in the morning."
The report in the morning was that George was better!
* * * * *
It was a lovely Sabbath in May. The doctor's wife had been out on theveranda, looking about her. Everywhere was bloom and beauty, fragranceand song. Long she sat in silent contemplation of the scene. At last adrowsiness stole over her and she went in and settled herself for a dozein the big easy chair.
Soon a tinkling fell upon her drowsy ear.
"Oh! that must have been the telephone. I wonder if it was two rings orthree--I'd better listen," she said with a sigh as she pulled herselfup.
"Is this Dr. Blank?" The voice was faint and indistinct.
"Hello?" said Mary's husband's voice, with the rising inflection.
"Hello?" A more pronounced rise. No answer.
"Hello!" falling inflection. Here Mary interposed.
"It's some lady, Doctor, I heard her."
"Hello!" with a fiercely falling inflection.
"Dr. Blank," said the faint voice, "I forgot how you said to take thosered tablets." Mary caught all the sentence though only the last threewords came distinctly.
"Yes?" Her husband's 'yes' was plainly an interrogation waiting for whatwas to follow. She understood. He had heard only the words "those redtablets." Again she must interpose.
"Doctor, she says she forgot how you told her to take those redtablets."
"O! Why, take one every--"
Mary hung up the receiver and went back to resume her interrupted nap.She settled back on the cushions and by and by became oblivious to allabout her. Sweetly she slept for awhile then started up rubbing hereyes. She went hurriedly to the 'phone and put the receiver to her ear.Silence.
"Hello?" she said. No answer. Smiling a little foolishly she went backto her chair. "It isn't surprising that I dreamed it." For a few minutesshe lay looking out into the snow flakes of the cherry blooms. Then camethe bell--three rings.
"I hope it's John asking me to drive to the country," she thought as shehurried to the 'phone. It was not. It was a woman's voice asking,
"How much of that gargle must I use at a time?"
"Oh dear," thought Mary, "what questions people do ask! When a gargleris a-gargling, I should think she could _tell_ how much to use."
The doctor evidently thought so too for he answered with quickimpatience, "Aw-enough to _gargle_ with." Then he added, "If it's toostrong weaken it a little."
"How much water must I put in it?" Mary sighed hopelessly and stayed tohear no more. Again she sank back in her chair hoping fervently that nomore foolish questions were to rouse her from it.
When she was dozing off the bell rang so sharply she was on her feet andat the 'phone almost before she knew it.
"Doctor, the whole outfit's drunk again down here."
A woman's voice was making the announcement.
"Is that so?" The doctor's voice was calm and undisturbed.
"Yes. The woman's out here in the street just jumpin' up and down. Ithink _she's_ about crazy."
"She hasn't far to go."
"Her father's drunk too and so's her husband. Will you come down?"
"No, I don't think I'll come down this time."
"Well, then will you send an officer?"
"No-o--I don't--"
"I wish you _would_."
"Well, I'll try to send someone."
* * * * *
Mary was at last too wide awake to think of dozing. This blot on thesweet May Sabbath drove away all thought of day dreams. Poor, miserablehuman creatures! Poor, long-suffering neighbors, and poor John!
"All sorts of people appeal to him in all sorts of cases, and often incases which do not come within a doctor's province at all--he is guide,counsellor and friend," she thought as she put on her hat and went outfor a walk.
The Story of a Doctor's Telephone—Told by His Wife Page 9