“But why can’t I just come around and say hi to little Justin some time?” Nathan asked and I could tell from the earnest expression on his face that he truly would enjoy seeing Justin again, apart from the fact that he might also enjoy seeing me naked again.
“Okay, I’ll tell you what…Justin has been talking a lot about you and I think he would like it if you came around again sometime. Let me give it some thought and perhaps you can come and play a hand of cards with us again when I’ve got everything a bit more under control at home.”
I was playing for time and hoping that some kind of miracle would happen to remove all of my misgivings about having a relationship with Nathan. I knew I couldn’t just keep pushing Nathan away from me indefinitely, as he might just decide that he wanted someone else who didn’t reject his advances all the time. I was still determined to make sure that my son didn’t get hurt by me having Nathan around too often, but Justin was now getting back to his old antics of throwing tantrums and leaving the kitchen in a mess so it wasn’t as if Nathan’s absence inspired any great happiness in my son either.
Living without love for so long had been hard for me too and I was hoping there might be a way to have some kind of relationship with Nathan eventually without exposing my son to heartbreak.
I was really enjoying the new energy I felt as I worked alongside Nathan at the factory and I could tell that he was also finding motivation in the fact that we were constantly working together.
Nathan seemed to calm down a bit after I said that I would think about having him over again sometime and I actually started looking forward to it myself. I still didn’t feel totally ready for a relationship, but this would be just one innocent evening and a couple of card games so I felt certain that I would be able to keep things under control.
I didn’t commit myself to any specific day for Nathan to come and visit Justin and me so I felt like there was still some room to maneuver and some time left for me to think things over a bit more. I realized I was perhaps being overly cautious but it wasn’t as if there was any pressing deadline for Nathan and me to develop our relationship and I felt confident that we would be able to work things out if we simply took our time and didn’t rush into something we hadn’t properly thought through. I could see that Nathan was getting a little impatient so I roughly started thinking about inviting him over again in week’s time or so.
NATHAN
I worked like an absolute maniac and put in as much overtime as I possibly could to try and scrape together enough cash for Justin’s gifts, but there was only one day left before the special would be dropped and I still needed $50 to afford the price of the discounted offer.
Emily had finally agreed to have me over again and I simply couldn’t afford to lose out on the opportunity, so I started racking my brains for a solution. I walked over to the TV shop after work one day to take another look at the special they had on and that’s when my eye caught the pawn shop across the street. I looked down at my watch. It was a Rolex and my dad would strangle me if he knew what I was thinking in that moment, but I realized that I had no real choice. I could hang on to my watch but what the hell was that going to do for me in the long run? For some unknown reason my chances with Emily didn’t seem to be all that good right then and I wasn’t going to let this chance slip away to finally win her over.
As I walked over to the pawn shop I started thinking I could probably buy myself something too with the money I was about to get, as my Rolex was worth around $30,000 and I was sure to get a lot of money for it at the pawn shop.
“How much will you give me for this Rolex?” I asked the foreign looking individual behind the counter of the pawn shop. He took the watch from me and by the way his eyes almost bulged right out of his head I could tell that he knew it was real Rolex. He turned it over and looked at it from all angles before looking back at me with his little snake eyes and he had a nasty sneer on his face. He probably thought the watch was stolen or something and I could see that he was setting me up for a rip-off.
“It’s cheap imitation. I can give only $100,” he said in very broken English.
“What? That watch is worth $30,000!”
“I pay $100 so take it or leave it,” the bastard replied and I was just about to tell him to go and lovingly fuck himself somewhere when I thought again about Justin and how happy he would be if I bought him the gifts I had in mind.
“You know what? Let’s just do it!” I said and the pawn shop owner smiled greedily as he handed me a hundred dollar bill and then he handed me some papers to sign away my ownership of the Rolex.
I walked out of the shop and was surprised at how happy I felt after being ripped off that way. I felt totally free for the first time in my life and it almost seemed like I had won the lottery for some reason. I started whistling as I walked over to the TV shop where I’d been looking at the special and ten minutes later I was out with the gifts I’d bought for Justin. The store clerk had neatly wrapped it for me and I was ready to go and light up the heart of a very special little kid. I had some money left so I stopped by the supermarket and got some little surprises for Emily too.
I took home all of the gifts I’d bought and that’s when I realized that it wouldn’t be all that smart for me to leave it all at home the next day, as there was no one around to look after my apartment during the day while I was at work and I wasn’t staying in the greatest neighborhood, to put it mildly.
I sat down on my cheap couch for a while and then decided that it was time to take a bit of initiative. Emily had said, after all, that I could come around again sometime and I thought that it would probably be okay if I just went ahead and took the gifts over to her place right away. If she was busy with something else I would leave it there and go right back to my own apartment, no problem.
I realized that I was probably going a bit faster now than Emily wanted the relationship between us to develop, but I also thought that she was being overly cautious and that she could do with a little push in the right direction from time to time and that this could be exactly that kind of little push. It was quite a mission to carry all of the gifts I’d bought and I must have been quite a sight to behold as I wobbled on the street with all of the wrapped parcels in my arms.
When I finally got to Emily’s place I carefully put down all of the wrapped gifts behind me and knocked on her door.
“Hope I’m not disturbing your busy social schedule,” I said with a broad grin as Emily finally opened the door of her apartment. She looked surprised for just a second and then rolled her eyes in her head and finally seemed to let go of whatever reservations she’d had of just letting the relationship between us develop naturally. She smiled at me standing there in her doorway like a fool and then stood aside for me to come in.
“I’m getting ready to welcome all the rest of my guests but you can come in for just a second,” Emily said sarcastically and I was extremely glad that she didn’t seem too upset that I’d arrived there unannounced.
“Just a moment, I have some things here I need to carry in,” I said and picked up the gifts behind me.
“What are those?” Emily asked and I could see that she was very curious about the wrapped packages I’d brought with me.
“Just a little something for Justin,” I replied.
“That’s wonderful! But nothing for his mother?” Emily asked with mock disappointment.
“Of course there’s something for her too, I said and took out the massive box of chocolates and flowers I’d bought for Emily with the money that was left after I’d paid for Justin’s gifts.
Emily looked at me with a strange expression and then put her arms around my neck.
“Just what am I going to do with you Nathan?” she said and kissed me on my lips.
“Oh, I have a couple of suggestions,” I replied and she abruptly pulled me inside her apartment.
“Come inside before we get the neighbors yapping about us making out in p
ublic,” Emily said and I just laughed. I carried all of the boxes inside and then Justin saw me from where he was sitting in the living room.
“Nathan!” he shouted and ran up to me as if he was my very own son.
“How are you, tiger?” I asked and ruffled my hands through the little guy’s hair, “I’ve brought you something!”
It wasn’t long before Justin had ripped the wrappings off of his gifts and he looked as if he was ready to jump right through the roof with excitement when he realized that I’d bought him some TV games and little TV to play them on. I helped him to set up the PlayStation and TV games and soon we were engrossed in a TV game of gridiron football against each other and Emily just stood there watching us while we carried on like two little boys.
“I really can’t believe what you’ve done,” Emily suddenly said out of the blue and for some reason I got the feeling that she wasn’t quite as pleased with my actions as I’d hoped she would be.
I played with Justin for a little while longer and then Emily announced that it was time for Justin to go to bed. He finally went off to his room after complaining that it was still too early and then Emily said that she was feeling very tired and that she had to get an early night.
“Are you upset with the gifts I’ve bought for Justin?” I asked just before kissing her good night.
“No, I’m not upset…I’m just really very tired. Maybe you can come over again some other night when I’ve had a little rest,” Emily said and waved me goodbye before closing the door of her apartment behind her.
I turned around and started walking home; feeling more than just a little confused. I’d just pawned my $30,000 Rolex earlier that day to be able to afford the gifts for Emily and her son and the only thing I’d succeeded in doing was to upset Emily for some unfathomable reason.
“One day when I figure it all out I’m going to write a book about women and how to understand them,” I whispered to myself. “But then again,” I thought, “all of the pages of my little book will probably be blank.
As I walked home I thought about that crazy party I’d attended on Janine Riley’s yacht the night when I was supposed to pick up the Chinese delegation at the airport. I remembered how the most important challenge in my life at the time was trying to figure out a way to pick up the Chinese guys at the airport and make it back to yacht party before Janine ended up in someone else’s arms.
Now the challenges I faced in my life included struggling just to scrape together enough money to pay the rent for the shitty little flat I lived in; a place so uncomfortably small I would never even have kept a pet dog in it, it was so shabby. I also had to try and figure out why I was suddenly in a woman’s bad books after spending several weeks working overtime so I could buy her son some wonderful gifts to brighten up his otherwise dreary life.
I had certainly come a long way from being the carefree playboy who roamed the streets in his silver Porsche with no care or thought for the day of tomorrow, apart from wondering which party to attend next and which girl to chase down.
EMILY
I realized now that Nathan had a wonderful heart and that I’d been wrong about him. He wasn’t just some playboy with immature intentions, but a young man who cared a lot for others. I felt a little guilty about the way I’d sent Nathan off after he’d brought us the wonderful gifts, but I was initially a little shell-shocked and didn’t quite know what to say after he’d arrived so unexpectedly at my door. I was totally intent on making up for my offish behavior towards Nathan some time soon, although I thought it would be good if I could convince him to be slightly more responsible with his money.
I was just about to start thinking of a possible relationship with Nathan and a way we could work things out so he could come and see Justin and me more often, when disaster struck. My mom phoned and told me that my dad had to go to hospital for an emergency medical procedure to keep his diabetes in check and that if he didn’t go soon his life would be in danger. I knew that my mom wasn’t trying to ask for money or anything, but I really had no choice other than to send her the little money I had in my bank account so that she could take my dad to the hospital. This included the money that I’d set aside to pay the rent, which was due within the next couple of days. My next paycheck from the factory would be way too late to pay the rent with and, in any event, it wouldn’t nearly be enough.
I felt like my whole world had come crashing in around me and I simply didn’t know what I was going to do to pay the rent the next month. The more I thought about it the more I realized that there was only one solution to my predicament. As much as I hated it there simply was no other way for Justin and me to survive. I knew that I was probably going to be making myself very unpopular with the people around me, but I was getting used to that by now.
I had no idea what to say to Nathan after I’d taken the very hard decision about how I was going to pay the rent and tried avoiding all of his questions at work, which was very difficult as he was still working right next to me on the assembly line.
It was simply horrible! Fate was now driving a wedge between us just when Nathan had proven himself to me as a very caring and considerate person. I wished I could sit down and just explain to Nathan the full extent of the financial difficulties I found myself in. He seemed to be fairly poor himself yet still, for some unknown reason, Nathan didn’t quite seem to have a full grasp of the real value of money. He didn’t even own a car, yet he’d gone and blown all of his savings on the expensive gifts he’d bought for Justin and me!
I knew that I would have to have an honest talk with Nathan sometime about it all but I had no idea how I was going to explain to him how difficult it was for me to get involved in a real relationship with him while I was going under the incredible financial strain that was tying me down. I also suspected that the solution I’d come up with to help me pay the rent, after I’d sent all of my life savings off to my parents, would not go down all that well with Nathan at all, once he finally found out about it.
NATHAN
For some reason Emily was now totally avoiding me at work and no matter how I tried to find out what was wrong, she wouldn’t open up to me about it at all.
Never before in my life had I been so totally confused by the way a girl was acting around me.
I knew that Emily found me attractive…even though I no longer had my silver Porsche and credit cards to give me that extra swagger I still knew that I wasn’t half bad looking and I could see how Emily stared at my biceps at work every now and then when she thought I wasn’t looking.
I guess you could say that I was learning some things the hard way. Not only could money not buy a girl like Emily’s affections; it apparently had the exact opposite effect on her as my most generous gifts had now somehow created a rift between us. I couldn’t give a damn about the fact that I’d spent all of my savings on the gifts, but I still needed some kind of explanation from Emily as to why she was avoiding me after I’d gone to such great lengths to bring a bit of sunshine and happiness into her and her son’s lives.
“Why are you avoiding me?” I asked her for the hundredth time.
“I’m not avoiding you, I just have a lot on my mind,” she said and I could see that no amount of additional prodding and questioning was going to yield any further information, so I left it there.
Something was very wrong somewhere and I was determined to find out what it was. Perhaps Emily was having some kind of trouble with her ex-husband or something like that and, although I had no idea how I would be able to help her with such a problem, I still felt an urgent to need to find out what was wrong. I didn’t talk to her for the rest of the working day and it felt quite strange to be standing there in the work station right next to her without making little jokes and chatting away like we’d always done before.
Not for the first time since I’d met Emily, I walked home with a puzzled expression on my face after work; wondering how I could figure out what my next move shoul
d be and racking my brains for a solution to the breakdown in communication between Emily and I. Despite the fact that I was feeling slightly anxious about the whole thing I tried to relax as I thought about what was going on with Emily. I decided to approach it almost like some kind of epic quest as I tried to figure out a way back to her warm embrace. I couldn’t imagine that I had done something to offend her in some kind of way that she didn’t want to tell me about, as she’d always been very quick to tell me when I was doing something that was irritating her. I felt confident that I would eventually figure out what was going on with her and relaxed as I walked home in the late afternoon sun.
Not for the first time since I’d met Emily, I started whistling as I thought about her on my way back home to my humble little apartment, not far from my dad’s electronic factory in Round Rock, Texas.
I got home and took a shower to wash away some of the sweat and grime from another hard day’s work at the factory. The shower heads didn’t work that well and I was confined to another lukewarm shower, which left me feeling slightly annoyed and unsatisfied afterwards. I lay down on my couch and just closed my eyes to relax. This had become something of a habit for me during the weeks I’d now spent without even the basic luxuries of a TV and radio to keep me entertained. I found that I could see things more clearly when I thought about everything this way at the end of the day and this occasion was no different. I realized that something was up with Emily and that she, for whatever unknown reason, didn’t feel like she could talk to me about it.
Bad Boys Rule Page 46