“Oh, Alicia, I think you have it all wrong. I can understand your fears about the business thing. If you’re that adamant about getting their help then do it on your own.”
“It’s a lot of money. It won’t leave me much for advertising costs and then a mortgage, if I can even get one. I’m not exactly showing consistent income and a steady job. What bank would give me a loan?”
“Have you discussed particulars with Monroe and Caldwell? Maybe there’s a way they could hold the mortgage for you and you would pay them like they were a bank?”
“But it still gives them control over me. Tony broke my heart. I thought I loved him and that he loved me. But he used me and til this day he has this control over me.”
“What do you mean? He’s still calling you, putting you down and you’re listening to him?” Marlena asked. She was shocked.
“He’s my brother’s best friend. Which by the way, Alvin does not think Tony can do any wrong. I told you guys how my own brother continuously takes Tony’s side. How he even wants me to get back together with Tony so he can get financial assistance. I wouldn’t put him past coming here and checking up on me to make sure I’m not involved with anyone. Do you know what he would do if he came to Chance and saw the types of relationships around here?”
“Damn, they really are no good weasels..”
“Tell me about it,” Alicia said and lowered her head and closed her eyes. Marlena stood up and placed her hand on her shoulder.
“Okay, tell me everything from start to present. All about the business and the relationship with Tony and where your brother plays a role in it all. Then let’s see if we can figure this out together. I still think that Monroe, Max, and Caldwell are nothing like this Tony guy or your brother Alvin. But, you need to feel confident and safe. This is a big deal and you don’t need another setback financially or emotionally. Come on. Let’s sit down and talk this out. I’m sure we can come up with something.”
They sat back down and Alicia exhaled.
“Can I just ask you something?” Marlena asked.
“Go ahead.”
“Do you like them? Monroe, Caldwell, and Max?”
Alicia pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and nodded her head. Marlena could see the tears in her eyes. She reached over and covered her hand with hers.
“Awe, honey. Is it just the financial thing that’s holding you back or this guy Tony and your brother?”
“All of the above. I don’t want to be betrayed ever again. I don’t want to worry about Tony and Alvin showing up and pushing me to be what they want me to be.”
“Then you need to stand up for yourself. You need to decide what you want.”
“That’s more easily said than done. You don’t know Tony. He can be persuasive when he wants something.”
“He sounds like a bully to me.”
Marlena listened as Alicia told her all about Dallas, the store they owned, and how Tony screwed her over. It was obvious that he broke her heart and Marlena figured out quickly that Alicia held onto the hope that she hadn’t made a mistake giving up her virginity to Tony. That was something the slimeball held over her head, too, but to know that Alicia’s brother was also pressuring her just wasn’t right. The poor woman was being controlled and threatened by not only her ex but also her brother. No wonder she was so fearful of entertaining an attraction to Max, Monroe, and Caldwell, but they were real men. These other two were nothing but trouble and they were holding Alicia back from happiness and success, never mind potentially true love.
“I think you need to gain some self-confidence, Alicia. You’ve allowed your brother and Tony to hold you down for far too long. It doesn’t matter that Tony was your first.”
“But it makes things worse.”
“It shouldn’t. Did you love him when you slept with him?”
“Of course.”
“Then it shouldn’t matter, and obviously he is not the commitment kind. You need to move on and to realize that when you had sex with him and gave up your virginity you loved him. There were real feelings, true emotions, and it wasn’t just sex. People grow apart all the time. Throw in how much of a slimeball he turned out to be and you should really have no guilt or regrets. Let that go and move on. He isn’t right for you. He’s trouble.”
“I know that he is. It’s not like I have feelings for him still it’s just that between him and my brother they have this power over me. It makes me feel guilty and unable to make my own decisions.”
“But you left Dallas and you have been surviving on your own and accomplishing things solo without them. You’ve proven that you don’t need either man to survive. You don’t need any man to survive and succeed, Alicia, you just need confidence in yourself. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
“Then why when they call do I crumble? Why am I practically shaking and feeling like a child caught doing something naughty?”
“Because over the years they manipulated you, controlled you, and forced their demands on you. It’s one thing for your lover, your business partner to do those things and hurt you, but it’s another for your own brother to assist Tony. I know he’s the only family you have, Alicia, but he’s holding you down and keeping you from happiness, too.”
Alicia began to cry and Marlena felt her own eyes well up with tears. It wasn’t fair. Alicia was kind and sweet and she deserved better.
“Everything is going to be okay. You’ve got me, Adele, and Mercedes. We’d do anything for you just like you would do anything for us. You can’t let Tony and Alvin hold you down anymore. You can’t let them keep you from the things you want and desire. Like the store and Monroe, Max, and Caldwell.”
“Oh God, Marlena. Max, Monroe, and Caldwell can’t know about Tony and Alvin. God, they’ll think I’m weak and usable.”
“No, honey, they would probably react like me and feel angry at what your brother and Tony have been doing. The Gordon men seem like sincerely good men. Real men who put a woman first and who would care for and protect their woman. After all, they live here in Chance and you know how things work. The men protect the women. They stake a claim to be a woman’s guardian and then they are truly committed to her. They like you. I’m sure they’re waiting for you to let them know you feel the same things for them before they stake that claim. When that happens, Tony and Alvin won’t have the opportunity or the ability to hurt you anymore.”
“Oh how I wish what you say would come true. But I’m just too unsure, too scared right now to believe there’s any man out there that doesn’t want to hurt me or use me and control me. The perfect man seems like a fantasy.”
“But that’s not true. There are three perfect ones waiting until you’re ready. Confide in them. Let them in, Alicia, and everything else will fall into place. You’ll see.”
“I just don’t know if I’m capable of taking that chance.”
“Oh, I think you’re capable, you just need to let go a little and let them inside your heart, and everything else will happen naturally.”
Alicia looked unsure.
“Give it a try Monday at their house tomorrow. Continue to talk with them and have normal conversation and feel what’s right in front of you. As far as the business is concerned, talk about negotiating an agreement that makes you feel comfortable and still somewhat independent financially. It will all work out. I promise.”
Alicia smiled and hugged Marlena. “You’re my best friend, Marlena. Thank you.”
* * * *
Alicia was getting ready for work as usual. She smiled as she put on the light skirt and tank top along with her tennis sneakers. She added the light green blouse and then turned side to side to see how she looked in the mirror. She smiled then thought about Monroe, Caldwell, and Max. They had been so sweet and conversational all week.
She learned more about them and even talked to their mom on a Skype call as she teased Monroe about his need for a haircut. It was funny, but their mom really seemed to care about them a
nd she was surprised at the envious feeling she had.
Her parents weren’t exactly the nicest people. They always struggled with money, fought a lot and complained that they never should have had children. Alicia realized pretty quickly that no matter how much she tried to show them love, her parents didn’t reciprocate. Her brother was older, and pushed for all the attention. He wasn’t happy either but her parents favored him over her. She never really got over that or how Alvin held it over her head. He would tell her that he would share things with her that their parents only gave him. When her father had an accident at work and was off his feet and their mom was working, Alicia took care of him, but even that didn’t gain the man’s love. She realized by eighteen that she needed to do things for herself and start making money and saving money. She did that.
She felt the tears in her eyes. Alvin gave her some money here and there. Nothing big, maybe fifty dollars or a twenty, but it was her who went to college, paid for it, worked two jobs and succeeded.
Alvin had it in his head that when their parents died he would get some sort of inheritance. So he didn’t work hard or try to make it on his own. When her parents passed away in a car accident all Alvin worried about was this money he thought they had left him. Turned out, any money they had, which was little was used to cover funeral costs and to fix up their small house to sell and get back taxes on.
Alicia remembered thinking that she was finally rid of the sadness, the feelings of inadequacy and not growing up with love and support. She remained close to Alvin despite his negative attitude and he even introduced her to his best friend Tony.
That had been the biggest mistake of her life. Believing Tony’s lies, his sincerity and interest in her. He played her like a fiddle and in the end she was broken. Still broken now.
She wiped the tear that rolled down her cheek and looked at herself in the mirror.
Her heart ached, yet longed for the things other women in Chance had. The love, the care and affection of a man or even men. Honest, loyal, true men that would do anything to protect their woman. Alicia wanted to feel safe. She wanted to feel appreciated. She wasn’t even sure if anyone could love her or if she lacked what was needed, but at this point she would settle for friendship, companionship and security.
She reached over toward the dresser and sprayed her perfume. It was one that Max liked a lot. In fact, yesterday when he snuck up behind her and sniffed her neck, she thought she might have lost it. She held her ground despite the obvious sexual chemistry building between them.
She thought about their childhood and stories they shared and learned that their mom Sianne was married to three men. Men that were law enforcement officers and one that was the previous sheriff before his son Max took over. It was honorable and another indication of how perfect they were and how imperfect she was.
She took a deep breath and released it. Her belly tightened and she felt unsure, confused, and maybe even a little down despite how good she always felt around the men. They lifted her spirits, made her laugh, and were terribly good looking. Maybe she was creating this fantasy in her head where they would find her appealing and up to their standards? She wasn’t certain, but as the project was now coming to an end, she wasn’t sure what would happen next. She wanted to accept their help with opening a storefront. They made her feel capable. Like yesterday when she thought she made a mistake with one of the areas on the stained glass but then it helped her to see the potential in altering the color to bring out a truer brown that was identical to their actual house color. Max had pointed it out, and Monroe even went outside to take a picture of the siding of the house then show her it matched perfectly and told her how brilliant she was. No one ever boosted her confidence like these three men. Maybe she was falling for their actions that were only done out of being respectful courteous men? After all, Sianne did say that the men were a bit wild in their younger days but how she raised them to be respectful and to put a woman first always. She even told Alicia to call her if they acted up. That made her chuckle but Caldwell seemed embarrassed and offended.
She looked at the clock and worried that she might be late. Quickly, she grabbed her things and headed out the door. She loved being around them, but it was her that stated it was all business and nothing more. Now she wished she could let her guard down and maybe take a chance at letting Monroe, Max, and Caldwell into her heart.
* * * *
“Is it Alicia’s last day working at your place?” Monroe’s mom asked as they talked on the phone. He smiled. The two women had hit it off immediately and once Monroe sent a picture of Alicia’s work their mom went crazy with excitement.
“Unfortunately yes it is.”
“You sound down. Haven’t you told her that you and your brothers like her?”
“Mom, it’s more complicated than that. I explained about how we got her to work here.”
“Honey, I know that idea of yours backfired somewhat, but you did have the opportunity to get to know her a little more and for her to feel more comfortable with the three of you. Just be honest with her and I’m sure you’ll get the response you’re hoping for.”
“I’ll see. She’s special. She’s different and we don’t want to screw this up.”
His mom chuckled.
“I can’t wait to meet her in person. She looked beautiful through the computer on Skype, and very petite. You three be sure to not overwhelm her, never mind hurt her.”
“Mom, really?”
“Monroe, I know how the three of you are and you forget how big you are. Just be gentleman.”
Monroe chuckled.
“Okay, Mom, I need to go. Love you.”
“Love you, too. Oh, and we’ll see you in just a few days. Make sure you invite Alicia over Saturday for dinner and to meet us. I can’t wait.”
“I’ll try, Mom. Thanks.”
Monroe disconnected the call and leaned back in the chair. He had a heavy heart. He wanted to be honest with Alicia and let her know how much he and his brothers liked her and wanted to get to know her, but then he would see this look in her eyes, or watch her step back and appear frightened, and it made him wonder more about her past. If someone did hurt her he wanted to prove to her that he and his brothers cared and would protect her. She just seemed resistant to accept that.
He looked at the phone and thought about his brothers. They would be stopping in to see her. Today was going to be her last day working here and they needed to make a move or their chance could be gone forever.
* * * *
Alicia sat outside in the sun by the table and umbrella to have some lunch. She’d brought her own sandwich and drink today. It was beautiful outside and she had been inside all morning working on finishing up the project for the men.
“Hey, I would have made something for you for lunch,” Monroe said as he walked out onto the patio joining her.
“Oh that’s okay, you’ve been spoiling me all week,” she told him as she absorbed his attire. He was dressed casually today. He wore jeans, a dark blue T-shirt that showed off his bulging muscles, and she could practically smell his cologne before he even made it close to her. She loved the scent. It was light, clean, and appealing.
“I don’t mind spoiling you. You’re doing a wonderful job and my brothers and I enjoy having you here in our home.”
“That’s sweet, Monroe.”
She took a sip of her ice tea then stared out toward the cabana and pool.
“Do you guys get to go swimming a lot and use that cabana?” she asked.
“Not as often as we would like. Max isn’t into parties, and Caldwell and I usually have business parties here a few times a year.”
“It looks stunning. Does it have a bathroom and fireplace in it? It looks like that from here.”
“When you’re finished with lunch I’ll show you it. So have you thought about the business deal and the storefront? I spoke with Dwyer and he’s willing to make a special deal with us.”
She swallowed hard
and looked at him. His light blue eyes held hers and he seemed so sincere. Her heart pounded inside of her chest. He was so appealing.
“I have thought about it. I have some concerns.”
“Concerns?”
“Yes, and perhaps we could discuss them with Caldwell, too, since he’s part of this?”
“That’s okay. He’ll be by in a little while. Why don’t we talk now and maybe I can ease your concerns.”
She wiped her mouth with the napkin and then took another sip of ice tea as she packed up her garbage from lunch.
“We can walk and talk if that’s more comfortable?” he suggested and she nodded her head.
“Well, I’d love to see the cabana and I do have to get back to work. Okay.”
She stood up and Monroe walked with her.
“I was thinking that I don’t really want to be financially obligated to you guys for very long. I mean let’s say this business takes off but then you decide you want out and I don’t have the money to buy out your share. Then what? You sell it all off and I’m left with nothing.”
“First of all, that’s not how Caldwell and I do business. When we invest in a product, a store, or in this case your talent, we invest with the intention of being in for the long haul. Do things happen and change? Sure but we wouldn’t pull out and sell the store leaving you with nothing. That’s not good business at all. That’s being corrupt, self-centered, and downright sneaky. That’s not the kind of businesses Caldwell and I run.”
His words touched her in more ways than she could explain. In fact, she needed to turn away and change the subject a moment or she might lose it emotionally. She prayed he wasn’t bullshitting, for he said the words she needed to hear.
Dare to Succeed [The Dare Series 2] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 7