They did have a lot in common. I couldn’t dispute her claim. He was a terrible person, and we never had a nice thing to say to each other. But I never doubted he enjoyed Annika’s company in public. Having experienced that level of attention from Sebastian, I understood the intoxication and the desire to keep that feeling at all costs.
“You think it was Johnny that did this to you?”
Annika crumpled, and the breath she sucked in was deep and unsteady. “The last thing I remember was being at the frat house with him.”
“The frat house?” I frowned.
Annika’s bottom lip trembled. “How did I end up in that alley, Nat? I have no idea.”
Thank God Sebastian spent the night with me. There was no way he was part of this. As for the rest of the football players, I doubted Johnny got Annika to the alley on his own.
I began to wonder whether Sebastian’s meeting at such an ungodly hour was called by the coach.
Chapter Thirty-Four
While Annika slept, I slipped out of her room to see if Clay was still waiting. He’d gone with my dad and the officers to the alley where Annika had been dropped. I’d texted my dad to make sure Annika had told someone her last memory was of the frat house. She had. Part of me was surprised, but I was also relieved. Maybe she was done protecting Johnny.
In the waiting room chairs, Clay slept at an awkward angle. I shook his shoulder, and he sat up, rotating his neck. He gazed around bewildered.
“Dreaming?”
“Just—” He rubbed his face. “Forgot I was here.”
“You can go.” I gave him a small smile. “You’ve probably got things to do. Dad said they’ll likely release Annika when the cops come later today. No life-threatening injuries.”
Clay ran a hand through his hair and expelled a deep breath. “How’s she doing?” He gestured behind me to her room.
I shrugged. “About what you’d expect. Maybe a little better than you’d expect.”
He gave me a sad smile. “Your dad said he suspects Johnny.”
“Really?” We all wondered if it was him, even Annika, but I was surprised my dad would voice his suspicion.
“Yeah,” he said. “He didn’t say anything in front of the officers. He said it to me later, in the alley, when they were looking for Annika’s things or some sort of evidence.”
“Did they find anything?”
“A lot of blood. However she got to the alley, someone has bloody stuff they’re trying to conceal.” He sighed. “I don’t understand how anyone could do that. Doesn’t make sense to me.”
“That’s a good thing.” I shoved my hands into the rear pockets of my jeans. “Do you think it was the coach who called the meeting at six this morning?”
Clay searched my face. “No,” he said. “Johnny is rallying the guys. Get the story straight. Keep everyone in line.” He gave me a long look. “What kind of guy is Sebastian?”
A good man was my gut instinct. He was someone who’d stand up for what was right. But that’s who I wanted him to be, and I didn’t know if that’s who he was. “In this situation?”
“They’ll be at the National Championship in two weeks, Nat. A huge accomplishment for the team. Johnny should be punished if he did it, but I can see how a lot of people will feel differently leading up to such a monumental game. Our school hasn’t made it this far in decades.” Clay rose out of his chair and stretched.
“If he did it, even if the game was for the Super Bowl, that shouldn’t matter.”
Clay stuck his hands into his pockets. “I can almost guarantee you it’ll matter. It’s going to matter a lot. We’re a football city. Ravens shit is everywhere. Johnny is the golden boy on the field.” He sighed. “I’m worried about the backlash Annika might suffer.”
“She didn’t do anything wrong!” I said. “She was beaten—she could have died.”
“I hope I’m wrong. I do.”
My dad came striding back through the doors, frowning. “Clay,” he said, coming forward. “I’m glad you’re still here. I wanted to say this earlier, but it was chaotic. What you did for Annika last night—stopping to help her, carrying her to your house, getting Natalie, bringing her here—you should be proud of yourself.” My dad shook his hand with two of his own.
Color rose in Clay’s cheeks, and he gave my dad a sheepish grin, his crooked tooth showing. My heart swelled at the sight.
“I’m just glad she’ll be okay eventually,” Clay said. “I’m headed home.” My dad released Clay’s hand, and Clay stared at me for a beat too long. “If you need anything, if there is anything I can do for either you or Annika, just call or text. I’ll be there in a heartbeat, okay?”
I couldn’t meet his eyes. Ridiculous to worry he might get the wrong idea about us when everything else appeared to be falling apart, but I didn’t want to take the chance of leading him on.
“Thanks for everything, Clay. I’ll keep you posted on what’s happening.” I flicked my gaze to his. “My dad’s right. What you did last night, I can’t even begin to thank you.”
He shook his head. “It was the decent thing to do. Never any question.”
He left through the emergency room doors, and in the distance, Annika’s parents and brother approached. I pointed to them. “That’s Annika’s family.”
“Okay,” Dad said, going back into police mode. “I’ll take them to her room. They’ll have questions, I’m sure.”
“What are the officers doing now?” I asked.
Dad grimaced. “We’re on the same page about the most likely culprit. Now, it’s finding evidence and building a case,” he said. “The officers seemed a bit reluctant the more obvious the fallout became. This might hinge on how hard Annika pushes to have someone named responsible.”
“Reluctant?” I frowned.
Dad didn’t answer. He stepped around me to greet Annika’s family. I turned and introduced them and explained Dad’s role. They followed Dad to the room with her mother clutching her husband’s and son’s hands.
Dad had given them the same speech about being supportive that I’d heard a million times. But as I’d watched Annika’s family react to Dad’s words, I understood why he said it well before they reached the room. Once they saw Annika, reason would fly out the window.
I sat down and took my phone out of my pocket. Sebastian hadn’t sent me another message since his “I love you” this morning. His silence, more than anything, told me I wouldn’t enjoy the next conversation we had in person.
My index finger ran over his words, and I hit reply. What to say? Things between us were already crumbling. I closed my eyes, and images of Sebastian from the night before played like a movie. Then my mind drifted to the people who warned me football came first for him. I’d never wanted to find out if that was true.
I typed my message and hit send without giving myself time to reconsider.
My dad came striding down the hall, squeezing the back of his neck.
“How’d it go?” I stood to meet him.
“They’re trying to be supportive. Her father and brother are furious she didn’t say something to one of them sooner about what Johnny’d been doing. At this point, that’s not helpful. But I understand their reaction.”
“Annika told them it was Johnny?”
“No,” my dad said. “She told them the last thing she remembered was being at the frat house with Johnny. A logical leap after that, even if the police here don’t want to make it.”
“I don’t understand.” I had almost forgotten his earlier comment.
“National Championship, Nat. If they can drag out the investigation for two weeks, he’ll get to play in the final game. Then, maybe then, they’ll do something more concrete.”
“You’re kidding me,” I said.
“I’ve taken a leave from work. I’m going to try to apply pressure from here,” he said, flipping open his notebook. “Name people who live in the frat house.”
“Dad—are you allowed to do this?” H
e shouldn’t put his job at risk.
“I’m going to ask questions, not as a cop, as a parent,” he said. “I have no authority here.”
Hadn’t Johnny said the same thing to me weeks ago? “He threatened me once.”
“What?” His voice was an explosion.
I covered my face and eased my fingertips along my forehead. Meeting his gaze was impossible. “At the time, I talked myself out of it. But he did, he threatened me. He said Sebastian wasn’t always around and everyone knew I didn’t like him. No one would believe me if I accused him of anything.”
My father’s expression morphed into one of disgust. “Name the football players, Nat. Nobody, and I mean nobody, threatens my daughter.”
“It’s why I didn’t tell you. I was worried you’d go all protective,” I admitted.
“Natalie Ann, I am your father. My job, beyond being a police officer, is to protect you and your sister with anything and everything I have in me.” He slipped his paper and pen into his pocket and placed his hands on my shoulders. “You’re one of the two most important people in the world to me.”
I wrapped my arms around my dad’s middle. He drew me into a hug and said into my ear, “He’ll pay, Natalie. The wheels of justice might be too slow to prevent him from playing in the National Championship, but he can kiss his NFL career goodbye.”
“I love you, Dad,” I said. Bringing Johnny to justice wouldn’t be easy. I was sure the football players would toe the team line, at least until after the final game.
I really needed to talk to Sebastian.
Chapter Thirty-Five
I parked my dad’s car in the parking space closest to my townhouse and climbed out. I’d texted Sebastian to tell him I was headed home. My dad had stayed at the hospital in case Annika needed anything or anyone showed up to talk to her. Dad wasn’t sure if Johnny would try to influence Annika or if he’d stay away.
I took my phone out of my pocket and checked again. Nothing. Sebastian’s history of trying to clean up Johnny’s messes made me nervous. Would he help Johnny now, too?
When I got to my door, I found it unlocked. Cautiously, I pushed it open. “Hello?”
“Nattie!” Sebastian jumped off the couch and turned to face me.
“You used the spare key?” I dropped my purse and keys on the little table.
“Yeah, I—how’s Annika?” His brow furrowed.
“Beaten pretty badly. Most likely sexually assaulted.” I listed her trauma in a flat voice because dwelling on it would send me spiraling. A downward slide would come, but I couldn’t let myself sink into it yet. Rounding the couch, I fell into a seat.
He eased down on the other end, not close like he normally would. A lump formed in my throat.
“Do the police know who did it? What happened?” He rubbed his legs.
I swallowed my tears. “What was the emergency meeting about this morning?”
“Coach wanted to talk to me.” He kneaded his thighs with his fingers.
“About what?” I slouched deeper into the couch. The tension between us was thick. Something bad festered.
He stood and strode into the kitchen. “You want a beer?”
“No, I don’t want a beer. It’s ten o’clock in the morning.” Anger boiled in me under the surface. Below the anger, disappointment and heartbreak were lodged, waiting to break free.
Sebastian returned with an open bottle in his hand, and he perched on the edge of the couch, rolling the beer between his hands.
“Come out with it.” It was obvious where this was headed. Might as well face it head-on.
He set his beer on the table and ran his hands along his face. “I can’t come out with it. I don’t want to do this.”
“Then make a different choice.”
“It’s not that simple,” he said. “Coach called me into his office this morning. Not a team meeting. Just me. He asked me how my season was going, if I enjoyed playing for the Ravens, for him. He asked where I wanted to go in my career.”
“Okay.” Wouldn’t those be normal questions toward the end of a football season? Sebastian still had one more year left to play, and this was his first season here.
“Then he asked about my social life. I mentioned you. He said he’d heard you were Johnny’s ex-girlfriend Annika’s roommate.”
“Ex-girlfriend?” I sat up.
“Yeah, surprised the hell outta me too.” For the first time since I got home, a glimmer of the man I loved appeared.
“And?” I rested my elbows on my knees.
“Coach said he was looking at the roster for next year, at the scholarship allocations, at playing time and so forth. He told me he was on the fence about whether he was going to keep me.” He snatched up his beer and took a long drink.
“What?” I asked. “You’ve been playing well. Like, really well. Even I can recognize that.”
“He’s telling me to keep my mouth shut, Nattie. He’s threatening me. If he drops me from the team, I can’t play anywhere else without him signing off on my transfer. I can’t go to another college for football. My football career would be done. No senior year. No draft. Nothing.”
“That’s ridiculous. He can’t have that much power.”
Sebastian gave me a long look. “He does. Even if he didn’t, alumni, sponsors, football fans, scouts—anyone associated with football will think I’m not a team player.”
“So what are you saying?”
He chugged the rest of his beer and set it on the table. He wasn’t making eye contact.
Tears pricked my eyes and welled up to blur my vision. With my gaze trained to the ceiling, I willed myself not to cry.
“I’m saying I have to be a team player,” Sebastian said quietly. “He’s got me cornered.”
I closed my eyes, and tears rolled down my face. When I opened them, Sebastian’s anguish caused cracks across my heart.
“I don’t wanna assume anything. I love you, and I want to be with you. This situation is not what I want. But he’s got me pinned. If I go against him, he’ll ruin any chance I have of playing football.” He focused on his beer bottle.
“What are you asking me, Sebastian?” My voice was thick with tears.
“I’m asking whether you’ll still be with me if I stick with the team.”
His face, his dear face, overflowed with love and sadness. I wanted to ease his pain, part of me wanted to make this decision easy for him. If I said yes, I didn’t understand how our relationship would work. I’d be harboring secrets, information about the case. Maybe he would too. If he didn’t come forward with whatever he knew, I would never forgive him.
I’d given him pieces of my heart, and they were strewn around this house: on the couch, at the front door, the kitchen table and counter, my room, even Annika’s room. Those pieces would vanish with him when he walked out the door. My heart might never be whole again.
“If you choose the team, we’re done.” My words were a whisper. I cleared my throat. “This isn’t something we can compromise on, Sebastian. This isn’t what food to order or where to go on vacation. She’s my best friend, and your teammate beat her so badly last night”—my voice caught on a sob—“that I hardly recognize her.” I took a deep, shuddering breath and let my anger rise over the pain. “If you’re choosing to stand by him, then you’re not a man I want to stand beside.”
Sebastian had never asked or expected me to be anything but myself, which was one of my favorite things about our relationship. I’d never be someone who could look the other way at injustice. It wasn’t in me.
He gave a curt nod and took his empty bottle into the kitchen. I sat on the couch, waiting for him to return, but when he didn’t, I went looking for him. I rounded the corner from the kitchen table, and his back was rising and falling as though he was holding in his sobs.
“Sebastian.” Each beat of my heart was a painful squeeze in my chest.
He turned and wrapped his arms around me, sobbing into my neck. I drew him tighter an
d let my own tears fall onto his shirt.
“I love you so much, Nattie,” he murmured into my ear. “Tell me we can figure this out.” He rested his forehead against mine.
The love and regret reflected in his expression caused fresh tears to slip down my face. “It won’t work,” I said. “There’s no way I can be with someone who supports what Johnny did.”
“I don’t support it.” A burst of anger raised the pitch of his voice. “I don’t support what he did. But I’ve given up so much, so much to get to this point in my football career. This has been my dream since I was thirteen. I’m on the cusp of something big.”
I stared at him for a long time. Part of me understood. Football took up the bulk of his life. I avoided his gaze when I said, “I guess I’m one more thing you have to sacrifice to get that dream.”
Sebastian flinched. “I don’t accept that.”
“This isn’t something you can persevere the hell out of. You’re making a choice.”
“What about when this situation is resolved?” he asked. “What then?”
I shook my head. “We’ll still be the same people who made these choices now.”
“So, if I go, I’m going forever?” His voice cracked.
I closed my eyes and wished for the floor to open up, swallowing me whole. I wanted to go to sleep and wake up in bed with Sebastian, have the last eight hours be nothing but a bad dream. If he chose the team, how would I ever look at him the same again?
“I don’t know, Sebastian. I don’t know.”
He drew me into his chest. I went willingly, breathing in the scent of his cologne. Would this smell bring me to my knees years from now when I walked past a stranger in the mall? He had branded my senses.
“I love you,” I said. “Part of me understands why you’re doing what you’re doing. I do. But I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive you for it.”
Saving Us: A novel of love and friendship (Northern University Book 1) Page 22