“He threatened you and admitted to giving Johnny an unknown drug. Side effect—violence. I mean, that’s a jackpot.” I started to pace.
Clay transferred the file onto his laptop and unplugged the device. “If the coach was giving Johnny a drug or multiple drugs and they made him act violently, could Johnny get off for what happened to Annika?”
I stopped pacing and whirled. “I don’t know.” The last thing I wanted was for Johnny to have a glimmer of hope.
“He was a dick freshman year, even before he hurt his shoulder,” Troy said. “Looking back, I’m pretty sure he beat his girlfriend, Dawnesha Taylor. She ended up filing a restraining order or something. Hush-hush then, but it makes sense now.”
I stared at Troy before I focused on Clay. “Why are you just telling me this now? Why didn’t anyone say a word when I was worried about Johnny hurting Annika?”
“Seb wouldn’t have known—if that’s what you mean. I didn’t remember either. Gabby reminded me the other night after you guys left. Gabby and I started hanging out around the time Dawnesha disappeared.”
“Not really disappeared, though, right?” Clay said from his stool, alarm in his voice.
“No. Stopped coming around. After her, there wasn’t a regular girl until Annika. An endless parade of women.”
The parade didn’t stop with Annika, either. “Is Dawnesha at our school?”
“No idea. I haven’t seen her. She probably avoids football.”
“So, those IT skills.” I turned to Clay. “Any chance you can dig for a Dawnesha Taylor on campus?”
“Yeah, I can poke around. Why, though?”
“Establish a pattern of violence.”
“Are you going after Coach?” Troy asked.
I shifted from foot to foot and rubbed my hands together. “Don’t know.” I took a deep breath. Did I want an answer to my next question? Everything would become even more complicated. “Did Johnny understand the side effects of whatever the coach gave him?”
Troy stood up to face me and Clay. “He’s militant about what he puts in his body. The only thing he’s relaxed about is alcohol, and even then I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him drunk.”
“So he’d have asked?” I pressed.
Troy’s headshake was almost imperceptible. “He was a freshman. Coach is God. If he was told to take it, he might not have asked questions. Now, yeah, probably. But when he started? I don’t know. That’s the truth, Natalie. I don’t know.”
I sighed and backed up to sit on the high stool again.
“You want me to tell you Coach told him, but I can’t. Makes the situation and fallout cleaner if he realized he’d get violent, and he took them anyway.”
“Yeah.”
Troy checked his phone. “I gotta go. I have shit to do. Look, if you’re going to use the recording and drag me into it, give me a warning, okay?”
Clay nodded beside me. “Of course, man. We appreciate this.”
I stood up and followed Troy to the door. There was just one last thing I needed. “Troy?”
He sighed and turned. Raising his eyebrows, he looked at me.
“Where has Sebastian gone if he’s not at the frat house anymore?”
“He’s sleeping in his SUV. I talked to him at practice this morning.”
“What?” I asked. “No one on the team offered to take him in?”
“And risk pissing off Johnny? No. A lot of us might think Johnny is an asshole. We might even wonder if he hurt Annika. But he’s our team captain. He’s still the best damn player on the field. The coach’s golden boy.” He gave me a long look. “And honestly, Nat. If your dad or the cops or whoever can’t nail him down for this, he’s going to the NFL. He’ll have money, power, influence… No one wants to mess with that.” He shrugged. “Sebastian wouldn’t either if it wasn’t for you.”
I flushed. “I shouldn’t have told him.”
Troy gave me a sideways glance. “You should have told your dad. Whether you want to believe this about yourself, Nat, you told Sebastian because he’d do what no one else had been willing or able to do. And he did. He went after him.”
I pressed my hands to my cheeks to block the heat. “That’s what you think?”
“Yeah.” He scrunched up his face. “I don’t blame you. Those pictures of Annika. When I was sitting across from Coach today, all I could think about was how terribly she’s been treated. When you love someone, you do whatever you can to protect them. To keep them safe.”
“Or to get them justice,” I said quietly.
“Yeah,” Troy said. “That too.”
“Thank you. I mean that, Troy. I’m not sure where we go from here, but I’m grateful to you for getting the information today.”
“Annika didn’t deserve what happened to her. She was a lot of fun around the frat house. I don’t understand how—that night doesn’t make sense.”
“You weren’t there?”
“No, I stayed at the bar late because Gabby was closing, and then I went to her place. We never go to hers, but her roommate was out of town. I wonder sometimes—would it have happened if we’d been there?”
I patted his arm. “We all have things we question. Ultimately, though, none of us did it. Johnny, maybe Johnny and others, made those choices.”
Troy nodded and examined me for a beat. “I get what Sebastian sees in you. I hope, when the dust settles, you two figure things out.”
The urge to hug him surged in me, but he didn’t seem like much of a hugger. Instead, I smiled and said, “Me too.”
Troy disappeared out the door, and I turned to Clay.
“Well,” Clay said. “What now, Sherlock?”
“I go to my dad with this. You find out if Dawnesha Taylor goes to college here.” I grabbed my purse from the door handle.
“Will we ever have the full picture of what happened that night?” Clay asked as I dug through my purse for my bus pass.
“Does it matter? Nothing can justify what Johnny did. If he’s taking these supplements or rage pills or whatever you want to call them, those might explain a little of it. But there’s no justification. Nothing will ever justify what happened to Annika.” My fingertips brushed against my pass, and I took it out. “Call me if you find Dawnesha Taylor. I’ll text you what my dad says about the rest of this.”
I grabbed my coat from the couch and slid it on.
Before I closed the door, Clay called after me, “You’re going to be a great lawyer someday.”
Was law school what I wanted? I’d started to enjoy being on the front lines.
Chapter Forty
After I exited Clay’s building, I scanned the parking lot while I headed to the bus stop. Clay would have given me a ride home, but I needed time to myself. What was the best path to take with the coach? If Johnny didn’t realize the pills would make him violent, was he less culpable for what happened to Annika?
There’d been a pattern of violence, and he didn’t get help. Maybe he didn’t understand his rage would go that far, get that bad. His comments about Annika’s laugh, the weird diet he’d gotten her to go on, or the obvious escalation of the violence couldn’t be explained by the drugs. He wasn’t a good guy, pills or no pills.
My phone buzzed. My heart sped up at the image on the screen of Sebastian and I—one of my favorite pictures—which meant he was calling me.
“Sebastian?” I checked both lanes for traffic before crossing the road.
“Want a ride?”
“What?” I got to the bus stop and scanned the road. “Where are you?”
“In the commuter parking lot. Do you want a ride?”
“Are you following me?” My eyes narrowed even as my heart beat triple time.
He sighed. “Maybe. Do you want a ride or not?”
I searched the lot behind the bus stop and spotted his SUV. He was tucked into the far corner, obscured by abandoned transport trailers.
I hung up and stuck my phone into my jacket pocket. I rubbed my hands t
ogether from the cold while I walked to his vehicle. The bus wasn’t appealing in this weather, but accepting a ride from him was a bad idea. Our last few conversations hadn’t gone anywhere productive.
He rolled down the driver’s side window. There was a heaviness in his eyes, like he hadn’t been sleeping. He’d lost his razor or forgotten how to use it. The urge to run my fingers along his face was almost overpowering. I pushed my hands deeper into my pockets.
“You look exhausted. Troy said you’re living out of your car.”
“I told Johnny to stay away from you, but I doubt he’ll listen.” He glanced at me and gave me a crooked smile. “Can you get in? It’s freezing out there.”
I went to the passenger side and slid in. The warmth of the car enveloped me. I sighed. Winter was my least favorite season. I should have picked a college in a more southern state. I twisted to see Sebastian better, and my eye caught on his things in the rear.
“You’re living out of your car? That’s ridiculous. Have you told your parents?”
Sebastian’s jaw tightened. “No.”
“Why not? They’d help you.”
He stared out the front window and didn’t meet my gaze. “’Cause then I’d have to tell them everything.” He clenched his hands on the steering wheel.
Silence settled in the vehicle. I breathed in his familiar scent and resisted the urge to sink back into us. God, it was hard. Being so close to him and not being with him was the worst kind of torture.
“Did you ever see anything at the frat house? Any indication Johnny was abusing Annika?” I kept my voice quiet, free of accusation.
His hands flexed and released on the steering wheel. Skin was missing from his knuckles. Unable to resist, I took his closest hand and cradled it in mine.
He glanced at me and squeezed. “I never saw him do anything I would’ve considered abusive. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Was I that dumb? But he was good at hiding his behavior. I guess she was too. You recognized it, but I didn’t. I just didn’t.”
“You never heard any rumors?”
“I never went anywhere without him. He was the team captain, my roommate. He was my ace boy. Feels wrong to say that, but it’s true.” He grimaced. “I’m not convinced anyone woulda told me with him standing beside me. They sure as hell aren’t telling me now.”
My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I took it out. Clay had found an address for Dawnesha Taylor. He offered to be my backup. I glanced at Sebastian, letting the silence between us deepen.
“So, if you’re out of their loop, do you want to be in mine?” I asked.
Sebastian’s face filled with surprise. “What do you mean?”
“I need a ride to Johnny’s ex-girlfriend’s place. I’m making a house call to see what I can dig up.”
“Your dad know about this?”
“Nope.”
“Is this a good idea?”
“Maybe not.” I ran my hands through my hair, gathering it up. It was almost long enough for a tiny ponytail. I sighed and made another calculated choice. “Has the coach ever offered you any supplements? Anything to improve your performance?”
He reared backward. “You think I’m doping?”
“No, not you. Well—are you? You didn’t answer the question.”
Sebastian rolled his eyes and shook his head. “No, Natalie, I am not taking any performance-enhancing drugs. They test for that shit.”
“Must not test too well. Johnny’s on something the coach has been giving him. Side effect? Rage.”
“Oh, shit,” he said, breathing out the words like a prayer. “Oh, shit, Nattie. How the hell did you discover that?” He took a deep breath and puffed out his cheeks. “Are you positive you don’t want to be a detective?”
I grinned. “Impressive, right?”
He swiveled in his seat, and his brow furrowed. “I knew he was taking something. I didn’t realize it was illegal. He mentioned he had special supplements from China.”
“China?”
“I don’t know if that part is true. If the coach is dealing black-market or off-the-market drugs, they could be coming from anywhere.” He appeared lost in thought for a moment. “How’d you find this out?”
I pursed my lips and turned away from his scrutiny.
“Had to be Troy.”
I shrugged. “What makes you think that?”
Sebastian laughed, the deep sound filling the car. “If you’re going to be a detective, you need to take notes from your dad. I guessed, but now it’s written all over you.”
I smacked his arm and faced him, annoyed.
He laughed harder. “Lord, I’ve missed you.” His chuckle faded, and he reached for me across the seat. His palm rested on the back of my head and then moved to cup my chin.
“It was Troy,” I admitted. “He got your coach on a recording.”
Sebastian’s grin vanished. “What are you going to do with that?”
“I planned to threaten the coach with impeding an ongoing investigation. But the pills complicate things. With an excellent lawyer, Johnny could get off.”
“Nat, you’re not a cop, and you’re not a lawyer. I don’t want people coming after you. Christ, I’m not sleeping as it is, and it’s just Johnny I’m worried about. If you go after the coach given the season we’ve had? You’ll have to switch schools.”
“Or he’ll get fired.” I jutted out my chin.
Sebastian shook his head. “Maybe he will. Not gonna change how Ravens’s fans will feel about you.”
“I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself.” With a huff, I turned to stare out the window again.
“Can you? Have you ever experienced that level of attention? ’Cause I have. That kinda negativity grinds on you, Nat. It wears you down.” Sebastian took a deep breath. “If you decide to go after Coach, I’ll do it. I don’t want you to have any part of it.”
“No,” I said in a burst. “No. Absolutely not. You haven’t worked for the last ten years to get to the cusp of the NFL to throw it away on a gamble. You said whether he gets fired for this is only a ‘maybe’ so unless it’s a touchdown, you’re not running the ball.”
He let out a frustrated noise. “Maybe I don’t care so much about football anymore.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“If it’s you or the game, I pick you. I’m stalking you because I’m worried about what Johnny might do. I can’t sleep. All I think about is how I can make this right. The answer is simple. I’m on the wrong team, Nattie.”
“The coach—”
“Is already pissed at me because I beat up Johnny. That dickhead didn’t even defend himself very well. Pissed me off even more.”
I frowned. “Why not?”
Sebastian held up his hands. “He needs these to be in good shape to throw the ball.”
I rolled my eyes. “He didn’t seem too worried about them when he beat Annika.”
“Whatever happened that night, Johnny snapped. He’s a dick, but he’s also a massive control freak.”
Silence settled in the car again while I pondered his words.
“Are you sure about switching sides? Helping us? Really sure? Ten years from now, are you going to hate me? Are you going to resent your choice?”
Sebastian’s shoulders relaxed. “Doing the right thing is better than doing what’s best for me. I lost sight of who I am for a while. I just…” He seemed at a loss for words. “It’s always been football first. I wanna help you. I don’t want you doing this alone.” He swallowed. “Or with Clay.”
“This is because you’re jealous?” I narrowed my eyes.
“No, yes. Okay, maybe a little jealous, but it’s also the right thing to do.” He scanned my face, taking me in. “I’m in love with you. Seeing you spending so much time with another guy—it kills me. Knowing that other guy has seen you naked before, that you once thought you loved him, that you’re bonding over this whole thing.” He laced our fingers together. “I never got what the big deal was, th
is feeling, until I met you. I can’t lose you. So far, I haven’t made the right choices. But I’ll do better starting now.”
I squeezed his hand. My heart expanded in my chest, flooding my body with warmth. “You’re completely certain?” Was I going to get him back?
“Yeah, Nat. One hundred and ten percent.”
I launched myself across the divide, wrapping my arms around his neck. He chuckled as his lips met mine. In a few quick movements, he had his seat moved, and he’d settled me on his lap. Commuter parking just got a lot more exciting.
Once we came up for air, I brushed the back of my hand over Sebastian’s face. “No razor?”
“You don’t like it? I was hoping to earn sympathy points.” Sebastian ran his fingers across his chin.
“You can’t keep sleeping in your car.”
“I know.” He sighed and kissed me again. “Now that I’ve got you and I’m part of Team Nattie, I’ll talk to my parents.”
“I don’t understand why you didn’t tell them before.”
“They’re proud of me. They raised someone who does the right thing. I wasn’t doing the right thing. I was letting fear and intimidation rule me. That’s not who I am.”
“I’m glad you changed your mind.” I brushed my lips against his. The week and a half we’d been apart could have been measured in years.
“So, Coach,” he said with an exaggerated wink to make me laugh. “What’s our first play?”
I wrapped my arms around him and huddled close, breathing him in. “A few more minutes of me doing this.” I kissed his neck, up to his ear. He hugged me tighter, and he groaned. “Then,” I said into his ear, “we track down Dawnesha Taylor to find out what happened between her and Johnny freshman year.”
“I love it when you talk dirty to me,” Sebastian said, laughter evident in his voice.
“Talking is the last thing I want to do.” I pressed myself closer, rocking against him.
“You want to take this into the bedroom?” He jerked his head toward the rear of the SUV.
“Definitely.” Despite what we still had to do, I was giddy with happiness. We were back on the same team, and now anything was possible.
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