I hold her in place as she tenses from head to toe. She curls toward me as I thrust deep inside her, as I pour my seed into her pussy. As I pull her to me, holding her so damn tight.
Tight, like I’m scared to let go.
Tight, like she is everything I need.
Chapter Eighteen
Amelia
“I just don’t get why you’re leaving, Reed. Last night was amazing. It’s like déjà vu, you leaving again.” I’m pouring coffee, which we both dearly need. Hell, we were up until the wee hours of the night, and it had nothing to do with a baby not wanting to sleep.
After the hot tub fuck-a-palooza I got on my hands and knees as Reed fucked me on the floor. Then, in the shower, he took me from behind. And in his bed, he hovered above me, filling me until we were both left gasping for breath.
Needless to say, my pussy is hella sore and I think I swallowed more come in one night than I have in my entire life.
But damn, his release satiates my craving for a real man. He tastes like strength and vigor, like a man who knows who he is.
But it sure doesn’t seem like he’s a man who knows what he wants.
“I never said it wasn’t amazing, but this trip has been planned for a year. Before Hope was even born.”
“Last night I thought you and I were understanding one another … but then you just up and leave again?” I shrug, adding a handful of Cheerios to Hope’s high chair tray.
She’s clapping, babbling Mama, Mama, Mama, and every time she does my heartstrings tug. I want to stare into her innocent eyes and try to figure out how someone so sweet came from a man so damn intent on pushing me into a corner I don’t want to be in.
Last night he had no problem pulling me into his arms … now I just want him to declare that I am his. For reals. Not this pretend fuck-me-and-leave-me charade. This is all or nothing.
He crosses his arms, looking between Hope and me. “You want me to cancel the trip?”
I roll my eyes. “Reed, that’s literally the last thing I want—for you to ask me for permission for anything, or to make your decisions for you. Asking me to be Hope’s mother is one thing, but I have zero interest in being yours.”
His jaw is firm, and I know I struck a nerve. Oh, well. He’s capable of being the man I know he can be; he just has to decide if he wants to be that man for me.
“The timing is shitty. I know that, Amelia.”
“Honestly, Reed, it’s fine. I don’t want to put you in a bind; I’m not the sort of person who would screw you over and leave Hope with someone who’s pissed. Besides, Hope is not the current problem with this scenario.”
“So if I say, Yes, Amelia, I want to marry you for real, you’ll stay?”
I throw my hands in the air, feeling rejection in a way that feels much too fresh.
“I’m saying that I’m falling so hard for Hope, and I can’t imagine walking away. But I also don’t want a pity proposal.”
Reed sets down his coffee, looking at me seriously. “I want to get married. If anything ever happened to me, I need Hope to have a legal guardian, a parent. And all I’m saying, is if that isn’t you, tell me sooner rather than later.”
I shake my head, feeling backed into a corner. And I hate it, because Reed really does make me feel like love is possible.
And still, if I was going to fall in love with anyone, I’d want a man like him. A man who knows exactly who he is.
It’s just that I also would want him to know exactly what he wanted.
“Mama, up, up!” Hope calls for me, and I pull her out of the seat.
I kiss the top of her head and hold her tight. “Maybe the tenderness I feel toward Hope is enough ... I just don’t know yet, and I can’t give you an answer today. Whatever is happening between us is the worst kind of tease. I’m going to end up falling for a man who can’t love me in return. I need more than that.”
Hope’s eyes lock with mine, and I can’t imagine leaving her—leaving this place, the place that is more a home than literally anywhere else I have on Earth. I just feel so freaking stuck.
“You know what, Reed?” I tell him, softening with Hope in my arms. She steadies me in a way I’d never have guessed. “I think you should go on the trip. Give me some space to figure out what I really want. And you, too. We both need a chance to clear our heads.”
He nods, and I watch him blink back what I swear are tears, as he leans down and kisses Hope on the forehead, me on the cheek. When his lips brush my skin, everything in me surges with longing.
“I think you’re right, Amelia. Space might be the best thing for everyone,” Reed tells me.
I swallow back my desire as he pulls away. Tears brim in my eyes, and I don’t know how or when my frustration turned to something so soft, but it’s real, this emotion welling within me.
“I’ll be back late tomorrow. There are numbers all listed on my desk, my cell number and the charter line. There’s an envelope full of cash and, seriously, if there’s an emergency, don’t hesitate to call. Just don’t leave the house, because I haven’t shown you how to shoot a gun.”
“I know how to shoot a gun.” I laugh, wiping my eyes.
“You do?” Reed frowns.
“Derrick always took me to the shooting range. I’ve never needed to use a gun, but yeah, I could manage.” I shrug, rolling my eyes, unrestrained. “But don’t worry, I’m not going to use your gun, Reed.”
He nods, leaning over to give Hope another kiss, this time on her cheek. Then he lingers, hesitating, deciding whether or not to kiss me.
Lottie was wrong. A man has to want to stay put before he can learn how to come home.
I make the choice for myself and take his chin in my hand, kissing him squarely on the lips.
He may not know what he wants, but I know exactly what I am holding out hope for.
* * *
The day starts fine. I clean up the house, order some more clothes online for Hope’s next size up—which, okay, baby clothes are the cutest things ever—and wipe my tears because I just don’t know how I’m going to walk away from her.
Hope keeps pulling to a stand, and her chubby legs look so cute as she leans against the coffee table, this miniature person who has captured my heart.
Before I can start dinner, a storm starts picking up. Hard. Branches are falling, as the wind moves fast though the trees, littering the deck. After dinner the lights begin to flicker, which isn’t the worst thing ever, because it’s still bright outside, but thick storm clouds sweep in, and the rain is pouring.
I take deep breaths, knowing this storm isn’t going to leave anytime soon.
The lights finally black out, and I realize we are really sheltered by the forest, because the house is suddenly darker than I expected it would be. Shit. Hope starts crying, and I pick her up from the jumper and walk to the garage, looking for flashlights.
“It’s okay, sweet girl,” I tell her, opening a cabinet in the three-bay garage. “Look, there are flashlights right here. He’s so prepared; he knows how to take good care of you.”
When I walk back into the house, I hear my cell phone ringing.
It’s sitting on the counter—because, yes, I have kept calling my friends to no avail since I’ve arrived—and I grab it and answer, bouncing Hope on my hip.
“Hello?”
“Oh my God, Amelia. How are you?” Delta asks. I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding.
“I’m okay, but there’s a really bad storm. And nothing is going as planned. He doesn’t want a wife. And I just want a husband. He won’t change his mind, so I’m leaving.”
“What?” she asks. “I can’t hear you.”
“You can’t hear me?” I pace around the room, trying to get in a better spot, but this storm has effed with the reception. “I have so much to talk about with you. Have you spoken with Everly? I haven’t heard from her. I just really hope she’s having some sex.” I try to keep the conversation light because my eyes are welling up with
tears, hearing my friend’s voice. I feel so far from anything familiar.
“I’ll have to call Monique and get a landline to reach you. You aren’t coming through, Amelia.”
“I can hear every word you’re saying, Delta. This is so frustrating. Listen, are you alright? Did you get married?”
“Me? Not married yet. But tomorrow. Tomorrow I will be.”
I swear I hear her beaming through the line. Thank God she’s happy. “I can’t wait to meet him. I just wish we could actually talk. I’m having such a hard time. I miss you, I miss everything.” Hope starts crying in my arms, as if she knows I am upset. I pull her closer to me, inhaling her sweet smell, willing her to stop fussing.
“You okay, Amelia? Is someone upset?”
“It’s all a mess,” I gush. “Reed has a baby, and she’s perfect. I love her so much, but I can’t stay with a man who doesn’t want me as anything more than a babysitter. I need a husband, especially if there’s a child involved. I don’t know what to think.”
Just then, a giant crack sounds through the house, and a branch falls through the gorgeous full window that faces the lake.
Shit. Hope is screeching now, and I am, too. Holy shit, that terrified me. And then I swallow, realizing another branch could fall through here, and now that there’s glass shattered across the room, we aren’t safe here at all.
I run to the office, find Reed’s number and dial it, but there’s no answer. Shit. I call the charter boat, and get nothing. Out of ideas, I dial 911, knowing they’ll help me decide my next move.
“Hello,” I say to the operator, then explain the situation.
“Ma’am, I suggest if you’re alone with an infant that you drive to town immediately and get yourself in a hotel for the night.”
“You think it isn’t safe to stay?”
“There are bears and wolves, and if you can’t close off access to the home, they won’t hesitate to come in.”
“Bears?” I scoff, actually shocked that Reed didn’t give me a better education on the animal life stalking his house.
“And if there are a lot of trees around, another branch might cause more harm. Better safe than sorry on a night like this.”
He’s right, of course, and I hang up. I go looking for a set of car keys, needing to get Hope out of here before either of us get hurt.
I wish Reed were here, and I hate that I want him … but as I assess the situation, I realize I don’t need him.
Locating the keys, I grab my purse from my room, stuff a diaper bag with necessities for Amelia and head to the garage.
I want Reed—yes, badly—but Hope is in my arms, and right now I’m holding hope in my heart, too. If he wants me, he can have me.
But if he doesn’t?
I’m going to be all right.
Chapter Nineteen
Reed
I’ve done a lot of messed-up shit in my life. But as I’m out on this chartered fishing boat, running from my motherfucking problems, I know I’ve hit an all-time low.
Yeah, I grew up on my own, fought for every damn thing I have. I worked my way through college and made a business for myself. I sold it; I was smart. I knew I didn’t care about being the best. I just wanted to be my own man.
And look where that got me.
I’m my own man all right, miles off the coast with a bunch of dumbass men fishing for food I don’t really need, when I’ve got a woman with a perfect pussy and perfect tits, a smile that could melt an ice cap, and a fucking heart of gold waiting for me at home with my daughter.
I need to get the fuck off this boat.
“I need to go back, now,” I tell the captain, knowing I was a fucking fool for ever walking away from my house this morning.
The captain shakes his head, looking at me like I’m a goddamned idiot, but the truth is, I need to go and I’m not asking permission. It’s time for me to take what I’ve been given and not ever let go.
“Call in a boat. I need out of here.”
“There’s no one to call, not now. We’ve been underway for the better part of the day,” he tells me. “And a bad storm is rolling in soon. You can’t go back now. We’re gonna ride it out.”
I draw in a deep breath. I’m not one to pick fights or lay down the law, but I’m also not used to having anything to fight for.
Now I do.
“I’ll make the call. I just need a boat to go back to shore.”
I’m one of four anglers on this long-range overnight fishing charter. The captain has just dropped anchor for the night at one of his secret spots, and he’s getting ready to clean all the fish we’ve caught tonight before grilling us dinner. I like to fish this way, because I learned quickly that money doesn't buy happiness. I save a hell of a lot of time hiring a boat and captain so I can focus on the fishing, but I’ve clearly changed my tune in the span of a day.
Never again am I gonna let any man other than me take the reins of my life, or the life of my woman and child.
I grab the radio, call in to the main office, and ask for a floatplane to come to where we are. I need out of here, and I can’t wait another goddamned minute to get home.
I know the captain thinks I’m showboating, tossing money around, but he can think whatever he likes.
He’s never had his cock sucked by Amelia; he doesn’t know the pleasure I know, and he never will.
I don’t need to explain anything to him.
The floatplane lands and I get one of the anglers I’ve been fishing with today to take the small boat that’s tied to the charter, and get me on the plane.
I need to get the fuck home.
* * *
The storm is fierce. More than once, the pilot swears about the turbulence, and the clouds above us are making chaos in the sky.
We’re safe to land, though, and thank God. When the plane comes to a stop over the crashing surface of my lake, I’ve never been so damn grateful to step on a dock in my life.
“You good flying back?” I ask the pilot. Wind is swirling around, but honestly it looks like the worst of it has passed us already.
“The storms are always worse down here, by the trees,” he tells me. “I’ll be fine. The worst of this storm is over.”
I make my way down the dock, heading to the house. By now it’s past nine at night, and I realize it’s been a hell of a long day. I hardly slept at all last night, because Amelia and I spent the majority of it memorizing one another’s bodies.
And then—like a fucking pussy—I left this morning, scared and running, once again.
What the fuck did I want out of life, and why did I spend a week pushing away the second best thing to ever show up at my door?
Most men don’t get that goddamn lucky in a lifetime.
I got it twice.
When I take the steps up to my patio, two at a time, my jaw falls. Holy fuck, this is bad. Tree branches have fallen across the patio. I step over enormous limbs, shocked to see the enormous bay window looking out to the lake smashed by a huge fallen branch. The glass is shattered, and I can easily step through it. I don’t, though, not wanting to slip on any glass—not at a time like this, when I need to take care of everything dearest to me.
“Amelia, Hope?” I shout, running to the patio door, pushing it open. Amelia didn’t lock it, but why would she? There isn’t a soul out here.
“Amelia?” I shout again, but there’s no answer.
My heart drops. Something happening to them is my goddamn worst nightmare … but in the living room, staring me down, is the fucking end-all and be-all.
A black bear is staring me down.
I stop dead in my tracks. The bear is pawing through my room, like he fucking owns the place.
How could I ever have left Amelia and Hope here without my protection? They need a man to take care of them, to show up, to never let them down. They need me.
Taking a better look at the bear, I can tell it’s just a cub. Maybe the storm frightened it far from his den, but it needs to get ba
ck to its mother, now.
Drawing a deep breath, I crouch down, wanting to make myself small enough so that it doesn’t see me as a threat.
As I position myself lower, out of the corner of my eye I see another bear—this one on the patio, arms raised. Pissed. This one is certainly looking for her goddamn lost cub. She growls loudly, and the cub that’s walking across my couch and fucking ottoman does the human equivalent of a kid getting caught in candy store.
Heart pounding, I watch as the cub runs through the room, toward the mama, knowing it’s busted but that there’s only more trouble if he tries to hide. I watch them run for the trees, out of my line of sight.
I sit there on the floor, my back against the kitchen cupboard, catching my breath. Then I panic. What if the bear already found Hope and Amelia?
I stand, then run to my office and grab my gun, not knowing if there are other bears in the house. As I make my way through my home, I find every room empty. My eyes fill with motherfucking tears as I search for them. I’m not a pussy, but I swear to God, if something happened to them I will die.
I need them in my arms, I need them now, and I need them forever.
They aren’t here, though. When I go through the door to the garage I see my pickup truck is gone, and the only thing left is my Jeep.
Thank God. They must have left during the storm. Left out of fear when the storm picked up.
I reach for my phone in my pocket, my heart dropping as I realize I must have left it on the fucking boat. Shit. I’ve got to find them, and I’ll drive all over Alaska until I do.
I grab my keys, jump in the Jeep. It’s time to find my girls.
Chapter Twenty
Amelia
BY THE MOUNTAIN MAN: The Complete Collection Page 27