by Stewart, Anna J. ; Sasson, Sophia; Carpenter, Beth; Jensen, Muriel
But she hadn’t been. She was okay. She was safe. He hammered his fists against his thighs, trying to knock himself back into the present as he grabbed her backpack and climbed the stairs.
He watched her scramble back to the station. That she was perfectly fine kept him breathing. He bent down and brushed off his shoes, taking an extra moment to get himself under control. Before he turned his back on the ocean and the haunting memory of the day he’d been too late.
* * *
“WHAT ON EARTH happened to you?” Paige’s laugh died as Charlie launched herself through the door of the diner and dived into Paige’s arms. “Hey, now. What’s this?” She hauled Charlie up, unnerved by her daughter clinging to her, shaking. Crying. Charlie didn’t cry. And she didn’t scare easily. “Are you hurt? What’s wrong?” Damp sand fell in clumps off Charlie’s pants and shoes.
Paige glanced around the nearly packed diner, at the concerned expressions aimed in her direction. She caught Twyla’s eye and gestured for her to take over her tables as she carried Charlie into the kitchen, past Ursula and to the back prep area near the deep freezer.
“I thought you went to walk Cash,” Paige said to her daughter.
“I did.” Charlie mumbled into her shoulder as Fletch entered. “Deputy Fletch got mad and yelled at me.”
Paige’s entire body went hot. “He did?”
“Yes, he did.” Fletch set Charlie’s backpack on the floor. “I asked her to stay in eyesight and she went down to the beach on her own. She was headed for the rocks.”
“Last I heard that wasn’t a criminal offense.” Paige glared over her daughter’s head, only to feel her anger fade at the shell-shocked expression on Fletch’s face. “You scared her, Fletch.” She pressed a kiss on the top of her daughter’s head.
“Not as bad as she scared me. She shouldn’t have been down there alone.”
“Okay, I think you’ve made your point,” Paige said. “I’m sure there was a reason—”
“I threw Cash’s ball too far,” Charlie mumbled. “And then I saw the rocks and thought about the treasure-box caves Mrs. Hastings told me about. I came back when he called me. I said I was sorry.”
Paige heard the tinge of anger in her daughter’s voice and knew she was going to be all right. She pulled back so she could look into Charlie’s eyes. “And what do we say about saying sorry?”
Charlie silently buried her face in Paige’s shoulder.
“I grabbed her by the arms.” Fletch cringed at Ursula’s tsk of disapproval. “I was wrong. I apologize, Charlie.”
Charlie hiccupped.
Paige set Charlie on the floor and pushed the little girl behind her. Charlie grabbed hold of her waistband and held on, peered around her mother at Fletch. “I apologize to you as well, Paige. It won’t happen again.”
“Charlie, go up to the apartment and get changed. We have that appointment with your teacher this afternoon, remember? And then I want to stop in and see Mrs. Hastings.” Paige shoved her hands in her pockets to keep from clenching her fists. “Ursula, would you please give us a minute?”
“Come on, little one.” Ursula held out her gnarled hand in an uncharacteristic gesture of protectiveness. “We’ll let these two talk. So you get to go to your school today, do you?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Charlie stopped next to Fletch, tilted her tear-stained face up to his and blinked. “I am sorry, Deputy Fletch. I won’t ever do it again.”
Fletch nodded, his jaw pulsing as if he was trying to control his temper, which only fueled Paige’s.
“The least you could have done was accept her apology.”
“Catch me in a few hours when my heart starts beating again,” Fletch said. “What I did was wrong. I never should have put hands on Charlie. But when I saw her running toward the water…” For an instant his expression went blank, as if he was lost in some dream. He cleared his throat, ducked his head. “There’s no excuse.”
“Charlie will be fine.” Paige wasn’t so sure about Fletch. “She learned a lesson. Maybe the hard way. I bet she won’t look at the beach the same again.”
“You’re making a joke out of this?”
“You got a fifteen-minute dose of being a parent, Fletch, and learned your own lesson.” Like how not to deal with a situation. “It’s all fun and games until…” She stopped and realized she needed to change tactics. “I do appreciate your telling me the truth about what happened.”
“I always tell the truth.”
“Don’t I know it.” He still looked as if he’d been caught kicking a puppy. “Fletch, you’re overreacting. She’ll be fine.”
“She has you. I’m sure she will.” He gave a short nod, narrowed his eyes and backed out of the kitchen. “I’ll see you around, Paige.”
But for the first time since she’d met him, she wasn’t so sure she would.
And that she didn’t like.
* * *
“MOM, DO YOU think Deputy Fletch is going to be mad at me forever?” Charlie looked up as her mom swung their linked hands during the five-block walk from the school to Mrs. Hastings’s house. She loved afternoons like this, when they weren’t rushed, when her mom wasn’t looking at the clock. Especially when they were going to visit one of her favorite people.
“He’s not mad at you, Charlie. You scared him and he’s not sure how to deal with it.”
“He sure seemed mad.” Charlie frowned and wished that squishy feeling in her tummy would go away. “I didn’t think grown-ups, especially police officers, got scared of anything.”
Her mom was quiet for a long while, her hand tightening around Charlie’s. “Do you remember a couple of years ago when you got really sick and I had to take you to the emergency room?”
“Uh-huh.” She’d never felt so bad in her entire life. She’d hurt all over, especially her head and stomach. The bed had been really weird, thin and squeaky, and they’d stuck her with a bunch of needles. “You cried and everything.”
“And you told me that you didn’t think moms could cry.”
“You mean you were scared?” Charlie was confused. “You cry when you’re scared?”
“Sometimes. Just like you cried today when Deputy Fletch yelled at you. You know something else?” At the corner of Chrysalis Lane, Paige stopped and bent down, tugged on Charlie’s crooked pigtail and made her smile. “People only get scared like that when they really care about someone.”
“So the angrier someone gets, the more they like someone?” That didn’t seem right.
“Not exactly. When some people get scared they overreact and do and say things that maybe they shouldn’t.”
“So Deputy Fletch shouldn’t have yelled at me?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you don’t yell at me.”
“No. Because I didn’t like being yelled at when I was a little girl. It made me feel sick. Right here.” Her mom pressed her hand against the same place Charlie’s tummy hurt. “Is that where you hurt?”
Charlie nodded. “Did it go away?”
“Mostly.”
Charlie knew her mom hadn’t had a mom of her own. Or a dad. She’d heard her mom talking to Mrs. Brennan one night after they thought she was asleep, talking about some “system” and how Paige was determined that Charlie would never be put into it.
Charlie didn’t know what this system was, but it was only a couple of days later that they’d left New York. She agreed with her mom. She didn’t want to have anything to do with it. Not if it meant having to leave their home, especially now that their home was Butterfly Harbor. But what if she’d ruined things between her mom and Deputy Fletch? What if they weren’t friends anymore? “Were you lonely when you were a little girl, Mom?”
“I was very lonely. But I haven’t been lonely in a very, very long time.” S
he leaned over and pressed a kiss on Charlie’s forehead. “Because I have you and you are the best thing I’ve ever done.”
Charlie grinned. “Even when I make you mad or scared?”
“Especially when you make me mad or scared.”
“I didn’t mean to scare Deputy Fletch,” Charlie said. “Do you think we can be friends again?”
“I think he’s still your friend.” Her mom took hold of both Charlie’s hands and squeezed before they resumed their walk. “Remember when you got angry at Simon when he broke into Sheriff Luke’s computer and you stopped talking to him?”
“Because he did something I didn’t like. Something he shouldn’t have been doing.” Oh. Charlie bit her lip. “It’s kinda the same thing, isn’t it? I shouldn’t have gone to the beach by myself.”
“Kinda.”
“Maybe if I made him something he’d stop being angry and scared?”
“I don’t know. What did you have in mind?”
“Cupcakes!” Charlie bounced on her toes.
“I think that sounds like something you’d like. Try again.”
“Hmm.” Charlie squeezed her eyes shut and looked up at the sky. “Maybe we can make him a big cake. Your special recipe? You promised me you’d teach me.”
“I think that sounds like a good idea.” Her mom pressed her lips to Charlie’s forehead, and just like that, Charlie’s stomach stopped hurting. “We’ll stop at the store on the way home. Now, how about you help me figure out a way to make sure Mrs. Hastings takes her medication every day.”
“Why doesn’t she want to take her medicine?” Adults were strange. They were always telling kids what to do, but they didn’t do what they were supposed to. How was that fair? “Don’t they make her feel better? Doesn’t she want to feel better?”
“That’s a good question.”
“I know why she doesn’t take them. It’s because she’s lonely and doesn’t have anyone to remind her. Like Mrs. Brennan back in New York, remember, Mom? I used to remind her to take her pills all the time.”
Her mom got that funny look on her face again, the same look she had whenever Charlie mentioned New York. “Charlie—”
“I know, I know.” Charlie stomped her feet and rolled her eyes. “I’m not supposed to talk about you-know-where, but that’s when no one else is around. It’s okay when it’s just you and me, right? We can talk about it. I miss New York. And our friends. And our apartment. Even though I love it here. I can still miss it, can’t I?”
“You can.”
“Does it make you sad when I talk about it? About…before?” Charlie was never sure what was okay to talk about. She didn’t like to see her mom upset, and talking about before always made her mom really quiet.
“I’m sad we had to leave.”
“Because you helped Mrs. Brennan’s grandson and you got in trouble for it?”
“Yes.”
“But you always told me we should help people, Mom. How did helping Robbie get you into trouble?” If helping people had gotten her mom into trouble, then why was she still doing it?
“It was what happened after, Charlie. Helping him was the right thing to do. I thought we were talking about Mrs. Hastings. We need a plan of action, don’t you think?”
“I guess.” Charlie skipped then hopped to stand in front of her mom. “How come you don’t like to talk about what happened with Robbie, Mom?”
“Because I don’t. Now put your thinking cap on.”
Charlie sighed. Sometimes her thinking cap made her head hurt. “Why can’t we just ask her how we can help?”
Her mom stopped walking again, this time in front of Mrs. Hastings’s yard. “You know what? You’re absolutely right. We should just ask her. Or how about you ask her, Charlie?”
“Me?” Charlie asked. “But this is something important, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is.” Her mom nodded, dropped a hand on the top of her head. “Which is why I think you’re the perfect person for the job. You can start by ringing the doorbell. I’ll be up in a minute.”
“Okay!” Charlie’s entire body buzzed like she had a hive full of bees swarming inside her. Her first real job helping someone. Just like her mom! But she had to be careful. She couldn’t risk messing this up. Bad things happened when helping people went wrong. And Charlie wasn’t about to do anything to make them have to leave Butterfly Harbor.
Ever.
* * *
LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER. Paige watched Charlie scramble through the gate and run up the stairs to Mrs. Hastings’s front door. Her little girl’s heart was so big, her attitude so positive, she couldn’t conceive of the wrongs that were possible to commit. It wasn’t as if Paige didn’t want Charlie to learn from the mistakes she made; she just wanted to do her best to mitigate the pain those mistakes could cause.
Then again, Charlie wouldn’t do anything that might force them to leave their home and spend months on the road. It wasn’t Charlie’s lapse in judgment that had Paige constantly looking over her shoulder waiting for her world to blow up.
How she wished hindsight clarified what she’d done, but it wouldn’t change anything. Even now, knowing treating Robbie Brennan for that gunshot wound had started Paige down a path that would throw the trajectory of her life and Charlie’s into chaos, she would have made the same decision.
No. Paige had to be honest with herself. It wasn’t treating Robbie that had gotten her into trouble.
It was not reporting the gunshot wound to the police, something every nurse and nurse-in-training was obligated to do. But Mrs. Brennan had been desperate to save her grandson, and Paige couldn’t bring herself to turn him in to a system she didn’t trust. But, as usual, her good intentions had backfired. Whether Robbie was innocent or not hadn’t mattered: she’d broken the law. And she’d gotten caught.
Last she’d heard the case was still pending, which only made things worse. It didn’t surprise her, not when Robbie hadn’t hesitated to throw her to the wolves when asked who had treated him, which, as far as the investigating detective was concerned, made her an accessory after the fact. That accusation combined with the material witness warrant, and Paige didn’t feel as if she’d had a choice but to run. Charlie didn’t understand what had happened in the weeks that followed and, if Paige was honest with herself, she should be open with her daughter and let her talk about her feelings. It wouldn’t do Paige any harm either. Instead, Paige chose to push all that down to where she could try to ignore it, try to forget. At least until the statute of limitations on that warrant ran out. Sixteen months down. Two to go.
In the meantime, making a big deal out of talking about New York would only be a sign to Charlie that what had happened was even worse than Paige had let on, and she wouldn’t have her child living in fear.
Paige had done enough of that for the both of them.
All the more reason she should be relieved at the thought of Fletch keeping more of a distance from them now. The last thing she needed was for him to be even more curious about her past. She didn’t need a by-the-book cop breathing down her neck; however appealing that idea might be.
Paige embraced the extra few minutes it took for Charlie and Mrs. Hastings to greet each other, and she found herself smiling at their easy banter and friendship. Without even trying, somehow Paige had found Charlie the grandmother she’d always wanted and never had.
That was what she needed to focus on. The here and now and not linger in the past she couldn’t change.
That said, Paige couldn’t risk getting too comfortable. Yet the very idea of leaving made her sick to her stomach.
The more excited Charlie became about her new school, her new teachers, new friends…how could Paige even think about ripping her away from all this? And yet that’s exactly what she’d have to do if she wasn’t very, very
careful.
At least helping people like Mrs. Hastings felt as if Paige was putting her nurse’s training to good use. All her hard work and study hadn’t gone to waste after all. As she was only half a semester shy of earning her license, there wasn’t a lot she’d had left to learn. She loved helping people; she didn’t have to limit it to medical care. Sometimes, like with Mrs. Hastings, just being around to lend a helping hand was enough to make a difference.
“I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow.” Mrs. Hastings waved Paige through the gate with a bright, healthy smile on her face. Her pallor was worlds better, and whatever wobble she’d had on Monday was gone. “Two days in a row. And look at you, Miss Charlie.” Mrs. Hastings cupped Charlie’s chin in her palm and tilted it up. “Have you grown since I last saw you?”
“Uh-huh. A whole half an inch.” Charlie waggled her hand over her head. “Mom said I’m going to be taller than her in no time!”
“Well, I just bet that’s true. Do you have time for a cup of tea and some cookies, or do you need to get back to the diner?”
“We have a few minutes,” Paige said. “We just had our before-school meeting with Charlie’s new teacher.”
“One of the better decisions I made when I was principal.” Mrs. Hastings closed the door behind them and led them into the living room she called her parlor. “Always thought it made sense to have the students and teachers meet one-on-one to take some of those first-day jitters out of the equation.”
“Mrs. Thompson was so nice!” Charlie announced as she slipped out of her sweater and draped it neatly over the arm of the flowered sofa. “She showed us the new art room. You should see all the paints and crayons and paper, and we’re going to have a show around Christmas. And you know what? I get to ride my bike to school like a real big girl! Except when it rains. I don’t think I want to ride my bike in the rain.”