We got to my apartment and I shut the door and started to make a bee-line for the fridge.
“Beer?” I asked.
Trust me, I get it. I knew who my father was and always would be, and maybe diving right into a six pack or a bottle wasn’t exactly a good thing. Yeah, I was a hypocrite, but believe me, I wasn’t going to be tripping over an imaginary root and forget to shower for days at a time…
“Why did you keep it?”
I stopped and turned. “What?”
“That shutter. Why did you keep it?”
Sienna pointed to the damn shutter that Kylie gave me the night I broke up with her.
“I don’t know. Why?”
“Just seems… she gave that to you. She loved you. You didn’t feel the same. So you broke up with her but kept the gift.”
“Is there something you’re trying to get at here, darlin’? If you haven’t guessed yet, I’m not in the best fucking mood right now.”
I felt like a rattlesnake, slowly coiling up, poised for an attack. And Sienna was overstepping some lines as she poked at me.
“I was just asking something. You didn’t love her but you kept her gift?”
I started to walk. I should have walked the opposite way, away from Sienna. But I went right to her. As I moved by her, I gritted my teeth. I stopped right at the damn black shutter from Kylie and I lifted my foot. I brought it down and stomped on the left side of it, breaking it like a pencil. There was a quick pop sound from the wood.
“Are you happy now?” I asked, turning to face her.
She was an inch from me, reaching up with both hands to touch my face. “No. You didn’t say why you kept it. Why it matters.”
“I already fucking told you why that didn’t work out. Because of you. Maybe I kept it as a reminder of you, darlin’.”
“A reminder of me?” she asked.
I curled my lip. “Yeah. That somewhere out there, other people can fall in love with me and that I had a chance to do the same with someone else, but you ruined that. So that fucking thing is a reminder of you. What you did. What I did. With no real reason why any of it happened. How’s that for a goddamn answer? Anything else you want to know about me?”
Sienna smiled.
She pissed me off even more with that smile. It didn’t matter how beautiful she looked. It didn’t matter that she was taking pleasure in getting me this angry. She stood there calm and collected, stronger than she would ever realize, messing with me.
Cutting me down to keep making me vulnerable… making me honest.
I had waited long enough.
My hands touched her sides. No, not just touched. I grabbed her. I pulled enough just to show her that I was taking fucking control here. She jumped and gasped, her fingers curling, her nails scratching against my face.
I pulled her against me, feeling the softness of her breasts, my hands sliding up and down, following the lines of her curves. I felt like my hands could travel for miles on those curves, but I settled at her sides, my thumbs just under her breasts. Sienna put her hands on my arms, squeezing and scratching.
“Holy shit you’re built hard,” she whispered.
“Yeah, really hard,” I said. “Do you understand what you’re walking into?”
“If there’s one thing about me you should know by now, Kace, is that I’m not afraid to jump.”
She made me grit my teeth even harder.
She wasn’t afraid to jump?
I wasn’t a building, but jumping for me…
That would only end up hurting her even worse.
Her lips tasted better than any booze that could chase away my thoughts. I didn’t even think of drinking a beer. My focus was on her. Nothing but her. As I carefully kissed her lips, becoming more addicted by the second, my hands carefully took her shirt off. As much as I took charge of what was happening between us, she was still in complete control. I hated to admit that, but it was the truth. If there was a spot I touched or kissed or wanted so desperately to love and it brought back anything that resembled a nightmare memory, I needed her to trust me enough to back away.
For the moment, it felt like walking around a landmine. Yet I couldn’t get enough of it. I couldn’t get enough of the temptation, of the feeling of walking through the fire, of the way my heart felt ready to burst through my chest.
I pressed my lips to her soft shoulder, smelling the sweetness of the soap she used on her skin. My mind flashed with images of her naked under a waterfall of warm water, her head back, eyes shut, smiling, elbows bent as she tried to cover herself from me. Everything about her made me rage in a way that I seriously could not remember feeling before.
I nudged my nose against the thin strap of her black bra. I began to kiss down next to her bra, inching down toward her chest. Her hands reached to my back and curled around my shirt, pulling, wanting me to take it over.
I took a break from my kissing travels and hurried to take my shirt off. I stood tall over her as I dropped it to the floor. Her hands touched my chest, her fingers gently trembling. Part of me wanted to ask how long it had been for her, but I wanted to find out for myself. I wanted to see her reaction as I kissed her, everywhere. The burning of her wants and needs colliding into this fucking perfect storm, and I was stuck in the middle of it.
Lucky for her, I wasn’t afraid of storms. I didn’t run and hide. I walked right into storms, middle fingers showing, ready for whatever waited.
Sienna slid her hands up my chest, reaching for my neck. She pulled at me with a vixen grin, wanting me to pick up where I left off. So I did. I kissed a few inches above her breasts. I made another line downwards, getting to her stomach, feeling her breathing with shaky breaths as I kept kissing. My hands moved around to her back, fingers spread wide, pulling her close against me. I wanted her to feel safe. I wanted her to feel comfortable. I wanted her to feel fucking alive. To not hold back from me.
My fingertips touched the clasp of her bra. I used one hand as I pinched, twisted, and the clasp broke free. Sienna let out a soft sigh and groan. I could have reversed my kissing and moved back up to savor the hunger throbbing on my tongue to taste her breasts. But I kept going. There were plenty of other places to kiss on her beautiful body right now.
I kissed at the top of her jeans, but only for a second because I brought my hands down to open them. My hands curled around the sides of them and I inched them down. Her bra and panties didn’t match. There was no good reason why that should have turned me on the way it did. My body raged with need. My blood gushing through my veins like a broken dam. Inside my own jeans, I was uncomfortable. I was hard and twisted, ready to pounce, but I tucked away the feral beast inside me because I wanted nothing more than to kiss Sienna everywhere. I wanted her to feel beautiful from the travel of my tongue instead of the words that rolled off it.
I helped her step out of her jeans and I inched her back to the bed, making her sit down. I was on my knees before her, a position I normally wouldn’t consider favorable because I enjoyed control. But as my eyes scanned up her body and I saw her leaning back on her elbows, on the bed, her hair half covering her chest, half behind her back, I lost my breath for a second. The way she looked at me with her perfect hazel eyes. The sight of her full breasts, making my lips quiver for a sweet taste. My eyes gently scanning down her body, eyeing curves that I could kiss and follow for days to distract myself of anything that waited outside the bedroom.
“Fuck, darlin’,” I whispered.
I watched as she curled her fingers into the bed, taking handfuls of the sheets. I came forward and kissed just below her belly button. I loved that spot. Not quite innocent, but not quite dirty. The last little bit of skin before temptation became reality and things would get really hot.
I kissed down to her panties and then over them. I nestled between her legs, feeling her heat swelling through her panties. Her sweet honey scent attacked my nose and I groaned, craving so much more. Using the tip of my nose, I played with her, pressin
g, rubbing down and back up. Her hips jerked up, thrusting as she groaned.
I placed my hands to her inner thighs and moved up them in a hurry. I followed the curves of her legs to her hips. She lifted herself off the bed so that I could take the last piece of clothing off her body.
With her desire revealed to me, I looked up at her to catch her staring intently down at me. The look on her face was hard to describe. Right then, I knew it had been a long time for her. A really long time. And that left me feeling even more empowered. I was now trusted with her pleasure, but I wasn’t worried one bit.
I told her that too… without words. Using the tip of my tongue, easing forward, I cleaned up the glistening honey that rested so perfectly on her slit. As I curled my tongue up, bringing her hips with me, she groaned and pulled at the covers on the bed, rocking her hips almost instantly. My hands settled to her hips as I wrote her a letter. Telling her how beautiful she was. Telling her that I loved her curves. Telling her that I loved the way she tasted. I then forgot what words were as I slid my tongue between her folds, thrusting it forward, feeling her throbbing against my wild kisses. I turned my head just a little, engulfed between her thighs, lost in the sweetness of her desire, my hands climbing up her body until I moved over the swell of her breasts. Her rigid nipples rested against the palms of my hands.
I had her.
She began to grind her hips with the movement of my tongue.
Her hands quickly released their hold from the sheets and grabbed me. One hand into my hair, the other on my shoulder. Her fingertips flexed like the tip toes of a ballet dancer, shaking, pressing into my shoulder as I felt her inner thighs begin to quiver.
Oh, darlin’, it’s been that long? You’re ready to let go already?
I couldn’t help but grin as I savored her, feeling her inch up off the bed. Arching her back one second and then digging her heels into the side of the bed the next. Her body started to crunch forward. Her nails pressing against my shoulder, her hand curling tightly around my hair, pulling, pushing, starting to fully lose herself to the moment and to my tongue.
Yes, darlin’, yes… let go. Let the fuck go for me.
“Kace,” she groaned, my name suddenly echoing around the room.
There was a momentary pause and her body went over the edge. She climaxed as her body fell to the bed, rocking left to right, seeking relief and release. I moved with her, knowing where to kiss and how to kiss to keep her going. Her nails scratched hard against my shoulder, moving back to the bed where she clutched the sheets tightly as she continued to rock with the pulsing of her inner core.
I stayed with her hard as she came, then gently eased back and away so that I could kiss up her body. Retrace all of my steps, leaving a thin trail of her own desire against her skin. Her stomach bounced down and up with heavy breathing. Her hands touched the middle of my back, but she didn’t grab at me. Instead, I just slithered my way back up her body, tasting her skin, feeling her skin against mine.
With my right hand, I quickly opened my jeans and inched them down, finally releasing myself of the uncomfortable tightness inside them.
I kissed between Sienna’s breasts and up to her neck. Her hands settled onto my back, pulling at me. Her legs gently wrapped around my body, wanting me to sink into her. I smelled her hair for a quick second and pulled away so that I could look down at her. There was much more than desire that burned in her hazel eyes. There was a world waiting there. A world that could forever change me and her.
This was far beyond anything I’d expected.
I softly kissed her lips as I came down, my body meeting hers.
As I entered her, she kissed me harder, her sweet tongue flirting with my mouth. I kissed her back with an even greater force, thrusting forward, introducing her to everything I had to offer. Taking myself to the hilt, holding there as I thrust, feeling her hips buck between the bed and me.
I pulled back and sank down with more force. I drove her down to the bed completely and held there again.
Our kiss paused with her mouth open as she groaned into my mouth.
I growled deep in my throat and I pulled back and thrust against.
She had her arms and legs around me, completely mine. My left hand rested against the back of her neck, and her hair draped all over my hand, arm, and my bed. My right hand rested against her left hip, holding her where I needed her.
I began to move and didn’t stop.
Sometimes we kissed. Sometimes our lips simply flirted. Sometimes we just stared at each other. The sounds that echoed in the room were that of pleasure, need, and relief.
For every soft kiss she stole, I took three harder ones.
We battled for space that didn’t exist, moving in whatever way our bodies needed. She moved for me and I moved for her.
I finally kissed her and didn’t stop until we were both done.
Even then… to me, time had stopped and I had no intention of letting it start again.
Chapter Fourteen
Some Sugar, Some Goodbye
Sienna
I had nothing on but one of his t-shirts and the heavy comforter from the bed. I pulled it tightly around my shoulders, like I used to do as a kid when I would pretend to be the queen of a castle. I was never interested in being the princess, because I didn’t want to wait to be saved. Yet here I was, years later, being saved by a shirtless man who was not a prince or a knight in shining armor. He stood at the door to his apartment, handing over cash to a teenaged looking pizza delivery guy. He turned to face me and kicked the door shut, smiling. His body was built with lines of muscles that looked impossible, unless they were done on a computer. The definition ran from his shoulders, arms, chest, and down to his stomach where it formed two lines that came down and snuck into the top of his pants.
He looked as hot as anything jeans, but I had to admit, seeing him in black PJ pants was enough to make me melt.
I leaned against the wall and stared at him as he walked to the island in the kitchen and dropped the pizza box.
“Hungry?” he asked.
“Starving.”
He flipped the lid open but the box quickly shut. “Damn. That was supposed to stay open so I could look cool.”
I laughed. “You still look cool. And distracting without a shirt on.”
“Should I take my pants off so that being shirtless isn’t a distraction?”
I shook my head. “If you take your pants off, we’re not going to eat that pizza. You know that, right?”
“True,” Kace said.
He opened the pizza box all the way this time.
I shuffled across the floor with the comforter tight around my body. I knew my hair looked like a sloppy mess. It was totally sex hair and I didn’t care one bit. In fact, I didn’t even know what time it was right then. Kace had managed to mess up my entire day in the best way possible.
“For the record, we’re eating out of the box,” Kace said.
“Like animals.”
“I think we were more like animals in there…” He nodded toward the hallway that led to the bedroom.
I felt my face heat up as I bit my lip.
There was silence between us, the kind that always seemed to happen before things went from fun and flirty to serious.
“Hey, darlin’, I owe you an apology from before.”
“For what?” I asked.
“I got upset over some things.”
“To be fair, I kind of pushed you a little.”
“A little?” he asked.
“Fine. A lot.”
“I didn’t realize you’d get jealous over a shutter.”
“I wasn’t jealous. Just curious. I knew there was a story.”
“Yeah, well, whatever. I did what I felt was right. I try hard to be true to myself.”
“Yet you let what happened with your father get to you,” I said.
He raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t expect that, Sienna. I wanted to show you what makes me happy and you got t
o see…”
“What makes you sad.”
Kace swallowed hard. “Okay. Fine. That’s one way to put it.”
“It’s the truth. Your father hurt you. Right?”
“Hurt me? You saw how drunk he was. He never lifted a finger to me.”
“I don’t mean physically, Kace. Not all abuse is hitting.”
“Are you going to charge me by the hour to talk?” he asked. “That’s how this feels.”
“We’ll call it even after what happened in there…” I looked at the hallway, hoping that I could make Kace blush this time.
But it didn’t work.
I ended up blushing again.
It had been a long time since someone had touched me like that. Since someone took complete control and just had their way with me. And it also helped that Kace was fucking sexy and really good at what he did with everything he had to offer.
“Yeah, we’ll call it even. Sure.”
“So I take it that’s been going on for a while?” I asked.
“My entire life,” Kace said. “My mother died after having me. So I don’t remember her. I have no pictures of her.” He put a hand up. “Please don’t say anything to that. It’s really not that big of a deal. She died right after I was born. I’m not sure there was even a picture of us taken together.”
“I didn’t say a thing,” I said.
“Your eyes did.”
“I can’t control that.”
“I know, darlin’. I know. My father had always been a drunk. And as hard as it is to admit, so was my grandfather.”
“I thought you said…”
“The only reason my grandfather eased up on the bottle was when my father got bad enough that he started hurting himself and me. My grandfather pissed away everything he ever made in life because of the bottle. He ended up with that house and that yard. That was it. A life of work and a life of regret. My father though could never pull himself out of the fire. I think my grandfather blamed himself for it too. That’s why he let us live there and why he kept me close to him. But don’t think for a second that I didn’t know that at night, my grandfather would go down to the basement to drink. He’d sit on a steel chair in front of the coal stove. He had pictures of my grandmother hidden there. He would look at the pictures, cry, and drink himself stupid. It’s amazing how a true alcoholic can function as normal. Like if they didn’t drink, they’d be way off.”
When I'm Gone Page 14