Surgeon Boss, Bachelor Dad

by Lucy Clark

  His words were strong. His eyes were convincing and Megan relaxed a little. As though to prove his words, he brushed a delicate yet promising kiss across her lips. ‘If it means I get to kiss you any time I like. If it means I get to hold your hand when we’re walking down the street. If it means I can call you day or night and night or day, then you’d better believe I want to date you.’

  As he spoke, he punctuated his words with more of those addictive kisses yet when he pulled back and looked at her once more, he saw fear in her eyes. ‘What is it?’

  Megan opened her mouth to speak but no words came.

  ‘You’re not used to being demonstrative in public,’ he guessed. Megan nodded. ‘That’s all right.’ He lifted her hands to his lips and kissed them. ‘We’ll take it slowly. People will talk, to be sure, but it will be nice talk.’

  ‘I know they mean well but it’s not only that which concerns me. I can deal with that. But there is something else. It’s…it’s just that…’ She stopped and shook her head.

  ‘What? Come on. You can tell me anything.’

  Megan sighed and looked at him. ‘Sometimes I feel as though I don’t really know you all that well. I mean, I know I like the way you kiss me, the way you make me feel when you hold me close, the way I feel so happy when I’m with you, but there’s still so much I don’t know. And I want to, Lochie. I want to know the real you.

  ‘You have this amazing ability to be able to look at people, to read their expressions, to know what’s going on inside them, to understand them,’ she continued. ‘You’re brilliant in the way you help people. It’s as though you unlock their psyches and that’s an incredible gift to have…But I don’t have that gift. I see glimpses, occasionally, of the pain and hurt you’ve been through but you keep that part of yourself firmly locked away. I understand that, the locking-away part, because that’s what you need to do to help you to move forward with your life, but you can’t keep it locked away for ever.’

  Megan stood on tiptoe and pressed a kiss to both his cheeks, then planted one firmly on his lips. ‘I want to get to know you, Loughlin McCloud. The real you. Will you let me? Can you let me in? Can you trust me?’

  It was a defining moment in his life. He knew it. He felt it. He’d been dreading it for years. He’d confessed his love to the woman before him and now she was asking him for the key to his inner sanctum. She was asking him to trust her. To really lay his pain, his hurt and his failures out for her to see.

  He swallowed and she watched his Adam’s apple slide up and down his smooth neck before meeting his gaze once again.

  ‘I love you, Lochie.’ Her words were plain and simple. ‘Please trust me.’

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  SHE loved him!

  Had she just said that? Did he need to get his hearing checked? Loughlin looked into her eyes and saw that the love was really there—had always been there—but he hadn’t been absolutely sure until she’d said the words. He’d felt it in her kiss, he’d experienced it in her tenderness, but to hear her say the actual words made him feel…euphoric. Euphoric and alive!

  Loughlin bent and kissed her lips once more, needing to taste her love, and she didn’t disappoint him. The euphoria at their mutual declarations remained strong within him but at the same time he could also see the road ahead…a road he still wasn’t sure he wanted to traverse.

  Yes, he loved Megan but loving a woman in the past had brought him a lot of heartache and pain. Was he ready to really put himself out there again? To open himself up, faults and all, to a woman he admired as much as Megan?

  Megan could almost feel the tug of war happening deep within him and decided he needed some space. Smiling up at him, she squeezed his hand. ‘Let’s go have breakfast together. The three of us. Let’s just enjoy being together.’

  He nodded slowly. ‘That’s a good place to start.’ He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. ‘And if you don’t feel comfortable about me holding your hand or touching you in public, then say so. We both need to be comfortable with this, Megsy.’

  ‘Aye.’

  Her answer brought a smile to his lips and it was exactly what she needed. Seeing Loughlin smile helped her to deal with the trepidation in her heart. They’d both declared their love to other people before and both had been hurt. Wariness was second nature and whilst she didn’t like it, she accepted that it was part and parcel of the road they were now travelling on. At least they were taking the journey together.

  Heather hadn’t stopped smiling all the way through breakfast and the fact that the three of them had turned up in the same car had started the rumour mill. Strangely enough, Megan wasn’t bothered by it. She’d told Loughlin that she loved him and although she didn’t want the pressure from all and sundry, she wasn’t going to hide the fact that they were, indeed, a couple.

  Love wasn’t given to be hidden.

  After breakfast, they stopped off at the hospital and did a quick ward round, Loughlin turning on the charm as he chatted with Mrs Newbold.

  ‘There’s something different about you this morning, young man,’ the woman declared.

  ‘Really? I didn’t shave as closely as I usually do.’ He turned his head this way and then that. ‘Need a new razor,’ he confided in a whisper.

  ‘No, that’s not it,’ Mrs Newbold tutted and turned to look at Megan. ‘What do you think it is, young Megan?’

  ‘Uh…well…I…’ Megan fumbled, caught a little off guard. It didn’t matter, though, Mrs Newbold snapped her old fingers together as though having a moment of clarity.

  ‘Aha! That’s it. It’s not just my dashing Scotsman who looks different, it’s you as well, Dr Edwards.’ Mrs Newbold sighed theatrically then nodded firmly. ‘It’s about time the two of you came to your senses. Anyone could see the two of you were perfect for each other.’

  ‘Then we have your blessing?’ Loughlin asked, his words receiving the odd gasp here and there from other members of staff. He’d just confirmed that Mrs Newbold was indeed speaking the truth.

  ‘Without a doubt, laddie.’ She held out her hands to both of them and they each took one, receiving a firm squeeze. ‘You’ll have a long and happy life together.’

  ‘Predictions as well as insight.’ Loughlin’s grin was encompassing. ‘Mrs Newbold, I think we should employ you as the fortune-teller at the next Kiama Fair.’

  The old woman laughed and then started to cough. Both doctors ensured she was made as comfortable as possible. Megan checked her oxygen saturations whilst Loughlin monitored her. Soon Mrs Newbold was relaxing back against the pillows, her eyes closed as she rested.

  ‘She doesn’t have too much longer,’ Loughlin said to Megan as they left the hospital, Heather running ahead of them to her dad’s ute.

  ‘Agreed, although I have to say that that’s exactly what I thought when I first started working in Kiama and thankfully she’s still with us.’

  ‘Let’s hope she pulls through this bad bout of infection to continue to stay with us.’

  Megan slid her hand into Loughlin’s and he looked at her with surprise. ‘You really care about these people.’ It was a statement. ‘I really like that about you, Loughlin.’

  ‘Like? Or love?’ He waggled his eyebrows up and down as he spoke.

  Megan smiled as he held the car door open for her. ‘Love,’ she responded, and was rewarded with a delicious butterfly kiss across her lips.

  ‘Honestly? Are you two going to be kissing all the time now?’ Heather asked from the back of the ute.

  ‘Aye,’ her father responded, his eyes alive with delight. Loughlin drove through the streets of the town and when he stopped the car at a red light, he turned and took Megan’s hand in his. ‘So…you’ll stay in Kiama?’

  Megan nodded slowly. ‘I’ll stay wherever you are,’ she promised, her voice laced with the power of love.

  ‘Really?’ He seemed surprised.

  ‘Of course. It would be difficult to date if we’re on opposite sides of the globe
.’

  ‘You’d give up advancing your career for me?’

  Megan shook her head. ‘I wouldn’t have been advancing my career, Lochie. I’m more than happy to stay here in Kiama as their director…if they’re still happy for me to remain in the position.’

  ‘I’ll make sure they do.’ He gave her hand a little kiss before putting it back in her lap. ‘You’re not really a career-woman, are you?’

  ‘No. I enjoy my work, I always have, but now I choose to enjoy my life.’

  Loughlin nodded in appreciation, her words echoing his own thoughts. He drove down to the foreshore and after he’d parked they all climbed from the ute. Although it was almost the end of May, the weather wasn’t too bad for a walk along the beach. The sea would be starting to get colder from now on but there were already a few locals out paddling, enjoying the nice weather while it lasted. Heather spotted a few of her new school friends so quickly took off her shoes before running along the golden sand to meet them.

  Loughlin and Megan walked hand in hand to a pleasant sandy spot and sat down. They were both silent for a while, content to watch the waves ebb and flow, the seagulls flying around to see if anyone had hot chips to feed them. Heather was well within their sight as she laughed and talked with her friends.

  ‘She seems to have fitted in seamlessly,’ Megan commented, breaking their silence.

  ‘Aye. She’s a very friendly girl.’

  ‘So is her father.’

  ‘I’m hardly a girl, Megsy.’

  She laughed. ‘You know what I mean.’

  He turned and looked at her, his eyes intent, his smile slipping from his face as he looked at her lips for a split second. ‘Aye, I do.’ He kissed her quickly then dragged in a deep breath. ‘I like being able to do that. To hold you and touch you whenever I like.’

  ‘I like that, too.’

  ‘Like or love?’ he asked again.

  Her smile was slow and meaningful. ‘Definitely love.’

  ‘I want to just go on kissing you. It’s as though all of my dreams are starting to come true.’

  ‘That’s nice.’

  ‘It is, but I know that before we can move on, I need to tell you more about my marriage.’

  ‘Yes. I don’t want to force you to talk about it, Lochie, but I need to unders—’

  ‘Shh.’ He kissed her again. ‘You have every right to know and every right to ask. You love me and I love you and it’s only natural that we get past hurts out of the way so that we can really move forward with a clean slate.’

  Megan nodded, waiting for him to continue.

  ‘I’ve told you that my marriage wasn’t all that good in the end. To start off with, it was fine. I would work. Bonnie would work. We spent as much time together as possible and life started to progress. I put in long hours at the hospital—as does every doctor—and in the beginning it was OK. She understood…or so she said.

  ‘Then when I missed a dinner party, or was late for the opera, or couldn’t make a weekend vacation due to a last-minute change in shifts, her patience started to wear very thin. You see, Bonnie is a perfectionist. It’s good for her in a business capacity because she does take the most beautiful photographs but in her personal life it started to become an obsession. The house always needed to be neat and tidy. Appointments had to be met exactly on time and the more I was late, the more it made her angry and upset. In her mind we had to be the perfect couple and we were far from it. She thought the world was going to come to an end if I left my dirty socks lying around the house. I couldn’t relax at home. I couldn’t unwind at work. Life just seemed to be one big stress pit.’

  He looked out at the sea, the white caps on the waves looking choppy as the wind pushed them one way and then the other. It was often how he’d felt. The problem was, he’d never articulated his feelings to another person before. Now he needed to because Megan deserved everything he had to give.

  ‘As I’ve told you, when she found out she was pregnant with Heather it was almost as though it was the last straw. As far as she was concerned, I’d ruined her life. A child would be messy. It would ruin her figure. She’d have to endure pain to bring it into the world. Her work would suffer and things were just starting to pick up for her.’ Loughlin shook his head and looked down at his fingers, which were entwined with Megan’s. It was as though it was a symbol of their new life together, their hearts entwining as they got to know each other more, as they had new experiences together.

  He looked at Megan and saw reassurance and love in her eyes. It was then he knew he could admit his greatest weakness and she wouldn’t hold it against him.

  ‘I loved Bonnie. Even though she would yell and scream and berate me at times, I loved her. I begged her to keep the baby and she reluctantly agreed. Once Heather was born, she started flitting in and out of our lives. Each time I’d be a mess when she left, forcing myself to work harder at making my marriage work. Promising her I’d do anything she wanted if it meant we could stay together as a family.’

  ‘You wanted Heather to have the best. A two-parent family.’

  ‘Aye, but I was so wrong. Three times Bonnie ground her razor-blade stilettos into my heart and three times I let her. Then when Heather was almost three years old she caught a nasty cold. It turned into pneumonia and she spent two terrifying nights in hospital.’

  ‘Oh, Lochie.’ Megan looked down the beach where the happy twelve-year-old was running about with her friends. ‘That must have been so scary for you.’

  ‘It was. My sisters, my mother, my family were there to support me. Bonnie wasn’t interested and couldn’t be bothered returning from Milan to be by her daughter’s side. It was then I realised that Heather didn’t need to be raised in a two-parent family—she needed to be raised in a loving family.’

  ‘But what about you? When did you realise that you didn’t need to change who you were to try and fit in with Bonnie’s idea of perfection?’

  Loughlin smiled at her. ‘And you said you didn’t have the gift of emotional detection.’

  ‘Ah, I only recognise those symptoms because I’ve been there. I tried everything I could to be the person Calvin needed me to be and in the end it just wasn’t enough.’

  ‘We hurt ourselves in so many ways, jeopardising our true selves in order to win approval from people we think matter in our lives.’

  Megan nodded at his words. ‘We should be more intent on gaining our own approval.’

  ‘“Love the skin you’re in,”’ Loughlin quoted.

  Megan laughed and squeezed his hand tighter. ‘Exactly. That’s what I had to learn to do when I first came to Kiama and you’ve helped me with that journey. You’ve helped me to realise that I’m a nice person.’

  ‘More than nice,’ he murmured, leaning a little closer and kissing her lips. When he pulled back he looked deeply into her eyes, his tone intent. ‘Does hearing about my past make you feel any different about me?’

  Megan was stunned. Stunned he should ask her such a question. But she also knew he needed to know the answer. ‘Yes. It makes me love you even more. You’re open, you’re honest, you’re willing to lay your past hurts before me. That speaks volumes, Loughlin.’

  ‘I think we’re two of a kind, Megsy.’

  ‘It’s a miracle we’ve found each other.’

  ‘Miracle. Divine intervention.’ He shrugged. ‘I never knew coming to Australia would bring me so much happiness but it has.’ Loughlin looked deeply into her eyes. ‘There is only one thing left that concerns me.’

  Megan held her breath. ‘What’s that?’

  ‘Your chest pains. I wish you’d told me about them.’

  ‘How? Most of the time they happened when you were around.’

  ‘Gee, thanks.’

  She smiled. ‘That’s not what I meant. They started years ago because I was putting myself under too much stress. I tried once to talk to Calvin about it—given that he was a cardiologist—but he simply brushed me off, telling me to take a vacation.
’ She shook her head. ‘Then, while I was planning the wedding, they became worse.’

  ‘Didn’t your parents or Jasper realise?’

  ‘I didn’t want to bother them. Jasper had his own life happening with Jennifer and my parents would only have worried more. They know now, though.’

  ‘So you haven’t actually had your heart checked?’

  ‘No. It’s just anxiety.’

  ‘You’re certain?’

  Oh, the man was so totally gorgeous, so caring and attentive. Megan kissed him. ‘I’m sure.’

  ‘How? How can you be so sure?’

  ‘Because whenever you talk to me with your delicious accent, the chest pains ease.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘You relax me, Loughlin.’

  ‘But I thought you said the pains got worse when I was around.’

  ‘They did. I know. Confusing, but moving from Sydney to Kiama has eased them because my stress levels are lower. And when you’re around, like now, I can breathe in, filling my lungs completely with no pain whatsoever.’

  ‘Is that true?’

  ‘Yes, my darling Scotsman. It is.’

  ‘So having me around is good for your health.’ His words were a statement and he nodded as though making up his mind about something. ‘In that case, I think I should stay around for ever.’

  ‘Fine by me.’

  ‘Then you’ll marry me?’

  Megan’s eyes widened in surprise. ‘Marry?’

  ‘Not today,’ he rushed on. ‘Not tomorrow, but when we’re both ready. When Heather’s ready, too. We need to work a lot of things out, to figure out the logistics of where to live and work and stuff like that, but right here and now, if I can hear you telling me that you’ll be mine for ever, I can cope with anything.’