by Jake Bible
"Who you calling weird, man?" Yellow Eyes said as he carefully stepped off the bloody trail. "So, this is murder blood?"
"Oh, for sure," Evil Roak said. "There's a really sweet mural I made out of blood and shit and some Gwreq urine in the cafeteria. Want to see it?"
"That sounds tempting, man, but I'm going with a hard no on that one," Yellow Eyes replied.
"Suit yourself," Evil Roak said.
"Where is Reck, Pol, and Poq?" Roak snarled.
"They're safe. Chill," Evil Roak said. "Hey, what time is it, by the way?" He patted his chest. "No implants. The Klav tried and it didn't go well. My body almost exploded like a gump with a pneumatic hose shoved up its ass."
"I don't have implants either," Yellow Eyes said. He looked at Roak. "You got the time in your faceplate display thing there, Roak?"
"Where are Reck, Pol, and Poq?" Roak asked again as he leveled his Flott at Evil Roak. "I'll give you five seconds to answer."
"Five? Wow. Generous. I usually say three then fire after one. Are you going to fire at three? Is that the trick?" Evil Roak asked. "You know, there is a reason I asked for the time. I was hoping to do this a few decks above so you could get the full show, but if I'm correct you're about to see what happens when-"
Evil Roak collapsed to the floor. His body liquified until he was only a puddle of fleshy goo with a set of light armor sitting in it.
"Gotta say," Yellow Eyes said, "I did not see that coming."
Roak shot the fleshy goo with his Flott.
"What the fuck, man?" Yellow Eyes exclaimed.
"Just making sure," Roak said.
He walked over to the puddle and nudged the edge with the toe of his boot. Nothing happened to his boot. No melting. No smoking. Nothing dangerous at all. Just goo on the toe of his boot.
"Mr. Roak!" a heavily accented voice cried over the loudspeakers. "We are so happy you have arrived!"
Roak looked up at the ceiling.
"Just Roak," Roak said. "Who is this?"
"Oh, we met before when you stole Jonny Nebula's genetic code from us," the voice replied.
"I didn't steal anything," Roak said. "We made a deal, remember?" He pointed at the goo. "Not sure how you could fucking forget."
"We will not split hairs over the past," the voice said. "Now, we have a limited amount of time before he regenerates. If you could follow the red lights on the floor they will lead you to the safe wing of our facility."
"I remember where I'm going," Roak said.
"Oh, no, no, he has taken that part over," the voice said. "We are in a different wing now. Please follow the lights, Mr. Roak."
"Just Roak," Roak snapped.
"Certainly not Evil Roak," Yellow Eyes said. "Or even Good Roak, really."
"If you can, please avoid stepping in the other Roak," the voice said.
"Yeah, I think we can avoid that," Roak said as he started following a new trail. One made up of small red lights instead of murder blood.
He walked for a few corridors before he came to a lift. The doors opened for him and he stepped on. Yellow Eyes blurred up next to him as the lift doors closed.
"You think we should look for Skabz?" Yellow Eyes asked. "That whole regenerate thing didn't sound good at all."
"No need to look for your comrade," the voice said from the lift's ceiling. "He is safely occupied."
"Are you making him follow lights in the floor too?" Yellow Eyes asked.
"Oh, no, we have loosed a pack of rabid Fergs," the voice said. "They are chasing him in a closed off area of the facility. He is quite skilled and does not appear to be in danger, but he will no longer be wandering the corridors unsupervised."
"Good for him," Roak said.
"Is it? Because there isn't much about that scenario that sounds good," Yellow Eyes said.
"Hmmm. You are interesting," the voice said. "We can see the stamping on your molecules. WAG Corp? You are a long way from WAG Corp."
"You have no idea, man," Yellow Eyes said. "So, funny story, it turns out I was created as part of an experiment so this guy from another-"
"No," Roak said.
"Right. Shutting up," Yellow Eyes said.
"No, no, please continue," the voice said.
"No," Roak repeated.
"What he said," Yellow Eyes said and pantomimed locking his lips and throwing away the key.
"That never works," Roak said.
The lift stopped and the doors opened.
Standing before Roak and Yellow Eyes was the largest Chassfornian Roak had ever seen.
Built like giant mastiffs, but bipedal and at least ten feet tall, Chassfornians were once used as shock troops in the War due to their default personality being one of pure rage. Most of the other races refused to deal with them anymore due to their intense need to kill anything they came in contact with, even supposed allies.
The Chassfornian standing before Roak was easily over three meters tall. Its head brushed up against the ceiling of the corridor.
"Good thing I don't wear pants," Yellow Eyes said. "Because they'd be filled with piss. So much piss."
"This way," the Chassfornian said. It turned around and walked rather gracefully down the corridor. "Gotta hurry, dudes. He regenerates in about ten minutes. What an asshole…"
Roak followed. He was completely unsurprised by the Chassfornian's appearance and causal speech. Roak was pretty much done being surprised by anything anymore.
"I hear you have some broken ribs," the Chassfornian called back over his shoulder. "The Klav can fix that for you."
"Med pods don't work on me anymore," Roak said.
"Are you sure you should tell him that?" Yellow Eyes whispered. "Maybe don't tell strange giant dogs your weaknesses."
The Chassfornian stopped and slowly pivoted.
"Dude. Did you just call me a dog?" the Chassfornian asked.
"Um… Did I?" Yellow Eyes responded. "Shit. Was that racist?"
"No, just mean," the Chassfornian said. "I'm my own race, dude. Not some lesser species from that old loser planet. Not cool, dude."
"My bad," Yellow Eyes said. "I'm, um, Yellow Eyes."
"Vogga," the Chassfornian said. "And don't sweat the dog comment, dude. We're good. Just try to be more sensitive next time."
"You got it, Vogga, my man," Yellow Eyes said. He nudged Roak. "I like this guy. Very chill."
Roak shook his head.
They reached the end of the corridor and stood before a blank wall. Vogga nodded at Yellow Eyes and Roak then waited patiently. After about thirty seconds, the wall started to vibrate then it shook itself apart and collapsed into the floor revealing a vast laboratory on the other side.
"Bravo," Yellow Eyes said and clapped. "This place certainly has delivered on the entertainment front, I have to say."
"Mr. Roak!" a Klav exclaimed and hurried up to Roak.
"Just fucking Roak," Roak snapped.
Klav were basically a ball of eyes with several long tentacles sticking from the flesh between the eyes. This one was standing on six tentacles while dozens more waved frantically in the air.
"Apologies! Roak!" the Klav said and gesticulated for them to hurry into the lab. "We only have a couple of minutes!"
"HEY!" roared a voice from the far end of the corridor where the lift was. "I was going to talk to him first!"
Roak turned to see an intact, angry Evil Roak sprinting towards them.
"You said I could talk to him first!" Evil Roak yelled.
"Inside! Inside!" the Klav exclaimed.
Roak stepped inside and the wall rebuilt itself behind him, sealing the lab off from the corridor and the enraged Evil Roak.
"If he hurts my sister or Poq, I'm going to be mad," Roak said. Roak sighed. "I'll be slightly annoyed if he kills Pol."
"Oh, he will not hurt them," the Klav said. It extended a tentacle. "We never formally met before. I am Orvra, Head Administrator of the House of Teeth." The Klav shivered. "I do not like that name, but it has become conf
using to other beings if we call the facility by its Klav name."
Roak ignored the tentacle. The Klav let it drop.
"Hey, Roak and Yellow Eyes!" Vogga called from a table set off by the wall. "Whiskey? It's legit Klav, not bootleg."
Roak removed his helmet and tucked it under his arm. It took all of his willpower not to cry out in pain from the movement.
"Just give me the bottle," Roak said.
"I hear that, dude," Vogga said. "Yellow Eyes?"
"I'm good, but thanks, man," Yellow Eyes said.
Vogga brought Roak a bottle and clinked the top with his own.
"To new friends!" Vogga said then proceeded to down the entire bottle.
Roak watched him, took a long drink from his own bottle then focused his attention on Orvra.
"Now, you're gonna start talking and you aren't going to stop until I say stop," Roak said. He drank again. "Are we understood?"
"Oh, of course, of course," Orvra said. "Let's see, where should I start?"
Roak nodded his head at the wall behind him.
"Start with that asshole," Roak said.
8.
Orvra held up a tube with purple gel inside. Suspended within the gel was a glowing red dot.
"This is you," Orvra said.
"Why's it purple?" Yellow Eyes asked. He pointed at racks and racks of tubes with blue gel and white dots inside. "Should it be purple? And should the dot be red?"
Yellow Eyes blinked then pointed at the racks.
"Hey! There are a lot more Klav in here," he exclaimed. "They're all hiding behind the racks. Look!"
"I know," Roak snarled. "Shut up."
"My bad."
"Yes, well, it is this color because Mr…because Roak's genetic material is quite different from other beings," Orvra said. "We learned that much too late to stop what eventually happened."
"So, the colors weren't a clue?" Yellow Eyes asked. "I mean…purple and red, not blue and white. Seems obvious."
"Dude," Vogga said. "Hush."
"That's me in that tube. Got it," Roak said, pressing on as he pointed at the tube. He winced and took several shallow breaths. "And you made the asshole out of that? What went wrong?"
"Oh, nothing went wrong," Orvra said. "It began wrong."
The Klav set the tube aside on a cart then waved his tentacles at the other tubes on the racks.
"These are pristine samples. We could create beings from these for eternity," Orvra said.
"Mine wasn't pristine," Roak said. "Why?"
"You do not know?" Orvra asked.
"Know what?"
"That you are a clone."
"I know that."
"Oh. Then why ask the question?"
"Which one? Why my sample isn't pristine like the others?"
"Yes. You are a clone. One cannot clone from a clone," Orvra said then waved his tentacles as several Klav peeked out from the racks. "Not accurate, I know. What I should say is that we cannot create a clone of you from a clone of you."
"Looks to me like you did," Roak said.
"Oh, no, that is not a clone of a clone," Orvra said. There was muttering from the racks. "That is an abomination from a clone."
"I've been called an abomination myself. Not a fan," Roak said. "See if you can explain it without using that word."
"I will try," Orvra said as if the request was a heavy, heavy burden. "You see, the first four attempts ended in stillborn clones."
"Clones are born?" Yellow Eyes asked. He spread his leg nubs. "Like whoosh out the hole?"
All eyes fell on Yellow Eyes. Several Klav stepped out from their hiding places just to glare at the being.
"I'm guessing that's not what happens," Yellow Eyes mumbled.
"No, that is not what happens," Orvra said. "The first attempts simply could not hold life. They developed fully but refused to live more than a second or two once removed from the birthing pod. There were others that lived, but they were…malformed. While that in of itself isn't-"
"Talk faster," Roak said. "I have beings to rescue."
"Yes, my apologies," Orvra said. "The final clone, the one you call Evil Roak, did live. In a way. It can survive for about thirty minutes then it melts into a primordial substance whereupon after ten minutes it regenerates from the substance and back into a fully formed being." Orvra shrugged a few tentacles. "We do not know why."
"Which part?" Roak asked.
"All of it. Any of it," Orvra said. "We do not know why he melts and we do not know why he regenerates. We do not know what dictates the timeframes of either process and we do not know if either process will ever stop. He could possibly continue to melt and regenerate for eternity. Or he could die in the next hour or so."
"So all you do know is you shouldn't have tried to clone me," Roak said.
"Well…yes. We know that," Orvra said. "But we Klav here at the House of Teeth have sworn our very lives to the study of created life and its development."
"Development?" Roak asked.
Vogga slapped his chest. "Like me. I'm the clone of one of the most deadly Chassfornian fighters the GF ever employed. I should be a total psycho, but I'm not. Instead of being conditioned to rage kill any being that gets in my way, I was conditioned to be chill."
"You totally nailed that, man," Yellow Eyes said. "Way chill."
"Thanks, dude," Vogga said.
"No problem," Yellow Eyes replied.
"Do you have any of the memories of the original?" Roak asked Vogga.
"Nope," Vogga stated. "Blank slate."
"What about Goo Boy out there?" Roak asked. "Was he a clean slate too?"
"No, unfortunately," Orvra said. "Every being that enters the House of Teeth goes through a comprehensive mental scan. We have your personality imprint stored in our mainframe, Roak. That was incorporated into the clone during the growth process so he woke up believing he was you."
Roak studied the Klav closely. They were hard to read, but he'd been around enough to know he wasn't getting all of it.
"But…?" Roak prodded.
"Yes, the but…" Orvra sighed. "When he achieved consciousness, he should have been exactly like you when you first stepped foot in the House of Teeth. But he was not. He was a version of you that had been warped by the warped genetic code. He also was self-aware. He knew he was a clone as soon as he opened his eyes. He does not consider himself you, Roak. He considers himself a separate being entirely."
"Because he is," Roak said.
"Yes, but that has never happened with an integrated clone before," Orvra said. "It was most disconcerting."
"What else?" Roak asked.
"There is nothing else," Orvra said. "He began a murderous rampage almost immediately. He gets immense joy from killing. He also seems to be content with the melting. We do not know why. He refuses to talk to us about himself."
"Roak isn't much of a sharer either," Yellow Eyes said.
"I think I know why he's melting," Roak said. "It's because my genetic code is from another universe. We've seen the melting before. Then Father learned to control the flesh too, so now beings don't melt."
"Another universe?" Orvra said and glanced at the wall. "That is not good."
"No, it's not. That's why med pods have stopped working on my body," Roak said. "And why we're here. I need you to make a new body for myself and my sister."
"Is she from a different universe too?" Orvra asked.
"Yeah."
"Then I am afraid it is not possible. Unless you want your new body to melt every thirty minutes. That is assuming we can even achieve life. The best way to explain the Roak out there is as an accident."
"There has to be a way to stabilize the process."
"Of course there is. We need original genetic material."
Roak narrowed his eyes and lowered his brows. "Original? Like from the first body?"
"Yes. That is the only way we can see success happening. Do you happen to know where your original is?"
"In another unive
rse," Roak said with enough disdain dripping from the words to cause the Klav to take a couple of paces back. "Pay attention, Orvra."
"You sound like him," Orvra said and retreated further.
"Yeah, man, you kinda do," Yellow Eyes said.
"How about we all take a deep breath," Vogga said. He demonstrated. "See? I feel much better."
"Cracked ribs," Roak said. "No deep breaths."
"Then do it metaphorically," Vogga said.
Roak started to argue, but something about the way the Chassfornian watched him made Roak cut the argument off before it could begin.
"Metaphorically done," Roak said instead.
"Good," Vogga said. "Now, it sounds like you're about to take a field trip to another universe. May I join you?"
"Oh, that'd be great!" Yellow Eyes exclaimed. "Can Vogga come with us to the other universe?"
"We're not going to another universe," Roak said. "What we're doing is rescuing Reck, Pol, and Poq and getting the fuck out of here."
"Then what?" Yellow Eyes asked. "You need a body. Hells, man, you should probably have a couple of backups made…"
Yellow Eyes trailed off and scratched his head.
"Ask Hessa if we can even get to the other universe," Yellow Eyes said.
"What?" Roak replied.
"In your comm thingy," Yellow Eyes said, "ask Hessa if she can get us to the other universe."
"We're having enough Hells to deal with in this universe," Roak said. "I am not asking that."
"We can," Pol interrupted over the comm. "I can get us to Father's universe."
"You're alright!" Hessa exclaimed.
"We are fine for now," Pol said. "I'm unable to maintain this connection long, so pay attention."
"I'm in no shape to fight Father here let alone there," Roak said, pressing on quickly. "Why go to his home turf?"
"To get the original genetic code," Pol said. "Yellow Eyes, would you care to explain?"
Every being in the laboratory except Vogga and Roak jumped as Pol's voice came out of the facility's loudspeakers.
"Uh…what?" Yellow Eyes finally replied.
"Explain why you believe it is a good idea to go to the other universe," Pol said. "It is not just to save Roak and Reck from two very excruciatingly painful deaths, is it?"