by Mary Eason
Rachel shook her head and smiled at her brother. Michael was just a big kid at heart. Still, she had to wonder what would bring Michael here at this time of the morning when normally he would be heading into the office.
“Honey, why don’t you untangle the lights for us? Michael, you want some coffee?”
Her brother recognized her attempt to keep Sammy out of whatever bad news she knew he had come to bring her.
“Sure, coffee sounds terrific. Good luck with those lights, sport.”
Sammy simply grinned up from his task of digging through boxes of decorations.
“That’ll keep him busy for hours.”
Rachel poured two cups of coffee. “So what’s up?” She tried to sound casual, but failed miserably.
“Jack came to see me last night.”
Her hand shook, spilling coffee onto the counter. Michael didn’t miss a thing.
“When?”
“Does it really matter? How did he know I was even here, Michael? Did you tell him?”
Michael took the coffee cup from her hand before she could spill it as well. “Of course not, but I’d say someone definitely did. It was no accident that Jack showed up here in Austin. He knew you’d be here. Did you tell anyone about coming here?”
“No, only you, and Mom and Amanda.”
“Do you think Amanda tipped him off?”
Rachel considered the possibility for only a second before dismissing it. “No, Amanda would never do that.”
“Well, someone definitely did. And he’s furious with you. What happened last night?”
“Nothing—”
“Don’t give me that. I know he confronted you about Sammy because he told me so.”
“Then you know what happened,” she told Michael wearily.
“Rach, for crying out loud, accept the inevitable. You have to find a way to tell Sammy the truth before this goes any further and he ends up getting hurt. Or worse, hating you for keeping him from his father.” Michael kept his voice low, for Sammy’s sake.
She flinched at her brother’s directness. Michael hadn’t deliberately wanted to hurt her, only to force her into facing the truth. “What did Jack tell you?”
“This doesn’t have to be a battle between the two of you, but you have to accept the fact that you didn’t do the right thing by Jack or by Sammy. This is your chance to set things right. It’s time, don’t you think? Jack is Sammy’s father and he needs to be part of his son’s life. And you have to allow that.”
“Michael, you know how Jack is. He won’t settle for just being with Sammy on the occasional weekend and holiday. He’ll want full custody. How can I fight that?”
“I don’t know. I just know if you keep avoiding this, that’s exactly what he’ll go after. You need to sit down and talk to him. It’s the only way you’ll ever get this sorted out.”
She couldn’t think about seeing Jack again. “How can I tell Sammy that the man he knew as his father really wasn’t his father but someone he just met is? How can I do that to him now when he’s sick?”
“He’ll adjust. Who knows, he might actually enjoy having Jack for a father. I think the real question is, how are you going to come to terms with this?”
She’d thought of little else since seeing Jack again. “I don’t know.” She shook her head. “Michael, what am I going to do?”
“You’re going to try and put the anger and resentment you feel for Jack aside and think about Sammy’s welfare. That’s all that you can do, little sister.”
Chapter Five
After Michael helped them put the tree together he left for work. Sammy was happily unpacking all of the old ornaments that Liz had saved through the years. Some had been around since Liz was a little girl.
Her son was so into what he was doing that he didn’t seem to notice how distracted his mother had become.
In her head, Rachel knew that what Michael had told her was the right thing to do, but her heart still couldn’t go along with the plan. It took everything inside of her not to pack up her son and run again.
“Momma, what’s this?” Rachel glanced up to see Sammy holding the old snowman ornament she’d made in second grade. The plaster was chipping and the paint had faded, but she could still remember how excited she’d been to bring it home to her mother. Of course, Liz had acted as if it was the best gift ever.
At the time, Rachel hadn’t realized how hard their life had been. She barely remembered their father. She’d been perhaps Sammy’s age, maybe a little younger, when Michael Sr. passed away. Liz had raised both children on her own when money was tight. She knew how hard it was to be a single parent, and exactly how great a loss her daughter experienced with Sam’s death.
Rachel took the snowman from Sammy’s hand and held it gently. Emotions she never thought she’d feel welled up inside of her.
“I can’t believe your grandmother kept this. I made it for her when I was in second grade.”
“Did you used to make stuff for Gran just like I do for you?”
“I sure did. You grandmother was always getting some kind of little homemade trinket from Michael or later from me.”
“Momma, why can’t we live here with Gran and Nikkie? She has lots of room.”
Rachel stopped untangling the silver garland and stared at her son. This was the first time Sammy had ever expressed the desire to leave Colorado.
“Because our home is in Colorado.” She knelt in front of him. “Sammy, would you like to live here with Gran?” she asked, almost hesitantly. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear his answer. Sammy confirmed her fears with a slight shake of his head.
“I like it here, Momma. I like being with Gran and Uncle Michael. I like his friend, and Amanda and Jason. If we lived here, I could play with Jason all the time.”
“Honey, you’ll make friends back home, you know. You’ll be starting school soon. There are lots of children your age around.”
“But I like it here, Momma. Why can’t we live here?” Those solemn eyes had a way of making her want to do whatever he asked. This time she couldn’t give in.
“Because we have our own home and own life back in Colorado.”
She turned away from the unhappiness in her son’s eyes and tried to focus on untangling the garland while fighting back tears.
It hurt to consider her son wasn’t happy with it being just the two of them anymore. Sammy was growing up. She’d had him to herself for a long time. Soon, he’d be going off to school and she’d be alone.
Once the tree was decorated and they’d put up the rest of Liz’s decorations, Sammy could barely wait to go to Jason’s. Since the day was unseasonably warm for December, she and Sammy decided to walk the short distance to Amanda’s house.
Along the way, Rachel pointed out all the little places she and Michael had played at over the years, leaving out the parts about Jack even though he’d been there with them through every adventure.
“Over there’s where your uncle first met his fiancé Molly, although he doesn’t remember it. Gran told me Molly’s parents used to live in that yellow house right there. Gran tells the story the best, but she said when Michael was about six he disappeared on her one day. She looked everywhere and finally found him sitting on the swing set behind that house, holding Molly’s hand. Gran said she knew right then and there that Molly was the one for Michael. Of course he’ll deny it to the bitter end, but it’s true.” The sound of Sammy’s happy giggles had the power to wipe away any trace of darkness from her day.
“Momma, how did you and Daddy meet?”
Rachel glanced down at her son whose attention was focused on a small dog in the fenced yard where Molly’s parents use to live.
She’d told Sammy the story of how she and Sam had met at least a hundred times. He knew it by heart and could recite it back to her. So why all of the sudden did he want to hear it again? Was it just her Michael story or was there something more?
“Why do you ask?”
He shrugged his shoulders
. “I dunno.” Something in his manner made her wonder if maybe he’d overheard some part of her earlier conversation with Michael.
“Honey, you remember your father, don’t you?”
The sight of her son shaking his head tore at her heart. She felt as if she were losing so much of Sam. So many of the moments they shared together were slowly slipping away. She couldn’t stand the thought of Sammy forgetting his father.
“You know he loved you very much. He was so proud of you.”
For the longest time, Sammy didn’t say a word. She prayed that her son would forgive her when the moment came to tell him about Jack.
“Momma, why don’t you like Uncle Michael’s friend?”
Rachel stopped walking and looked into his innocent eyes.
“Why do you think I don’t like him?”
“Because you were crying and I heard you arguing.”
She should have realized Sammy would pick up the anger between them. Somehow, she managed to keep her tone level. “Honey, we weren’t arguing. Not really. We were just having a little disagreement. It’s nothing for you to worry about, okay?”
When they reached Amanda’s house, Sammy spotted Jason standing at the back gate waving.
Sammy pulled his hand from hers and ran toward Jason just as Amanda walked through the gate.
“Hi there, you two. Come on back. Jason and I were out back playing. It’s such a beautiful afternoon neither of us could stand to be inside any longer.”
Rachel followed Amanda through to the deck and took the glass of lemonade she offered.
“Well?” Amanda waited until the boys were busy swinging.
Rachel knew exactly what she wanted to know. “Well, what?”
“Well, have you talked to Jack yet?”
“No.”
“Well, that won’t last. It’s only a matter of time. He’ll come around.”
“I know. I mean, what am I going to tell Sammy?”
Amanda covered Rachel’s hand with hers. “I know it can’t be easy. I hope you don’t mind, but I spoke with my husband Brad about the case. His specialty is family law.”
Rachel could tell from Amanda’s expression that the news wasn’t good. “What did he say?”
“He told me if Sammy is Jack’s son, then he will have a very good chance of getting joint custody. Brad says the courts are starting to lean more in favor of the father these days. Why don’t you and Sammy stay for dinner? Brad would like to talk to you a little further to get a feel for the case.”
“You think there’s a chance Jack could win full custody?”
“Rach, don’t get ahead of yourself. Talk to Brad. Let him go through all the options with you.”
Dear God, this was her worst nightmare. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost Sammy. I can’t even think about it.”
After dinner, Brad sent the boys off to play while he and Rachel went over the details.
“I hate to be the one to point this out, but Jack Bryant is a very influential man. You’ll have a fight on your hands, if it comes to that. Has he given you any indication that he might try for full custody?”
She shook her head. “No, we really haven’t talked about it.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, how do you even know it will come to this? Many parents share custody, even those living in separate states. Why not try and work things out between the two of you first? You could be worrying without reason. Maybe this could be a good thing for both of you.”
Forced into constant contact with Jack would never be a good thing. She couldn’t tell Brad that she’d never fully gotten over the pain of Jack’s rejection.
“Look, he seems like a reasonable enough guy and he hasn’t made any threats to you or Sammy, has he?”
“No, of course not. Jack’s not like that.”
“Then talk to him. What’s it going to hurt? I really think that’s the best recourse. Don’t you?”
“But what if he doesn’t agree to share custody?”
“We can deal with that if the time comes. In the meantime, get in touch with him. Try to work out some reasonable agreement between the two of you. Trust me, you really don’t want the courts involved in this thing, if you can help it. Because, frankly, you can’t always guarantee the outcome. I mean, you did keep the boy a secret from him for years. I don’t think they’ll look too favorably on that.”
Amanda shot her husband a scornful look. “Brad...”
“Talk to Jack. Try to work it out with him first. If we have to go to court, we’ll do it as a last resort. But in the meantime, Sammy will have to be told and soon. Before he overhears something from someone and gets hurt.”
“You’re right, I know, it’s just that it’s hard. He’s always considered my husband as his father. How can I explain to my son that isn’t the case?”
“Rachel, can I ask you a question?”
She knew what he wanted to ask. “I don’t know for sure if Jack’s the father.”
It was a moment before Brad answered. “I see. You know you’ll have to have a paternity test.”
Rachel couldn’t bear the thought of putting Sammy through that. “No. I can’t let that happen. He’s been through enough.”
Brad watched her sympathetically. “I know Sammy’s sick. Unfortunately, there isn’t any other way to determine paternity. Why don’t you call Jack first?”
“Yes. I’ll call him tonight after Sammy’s sleeping.”
“Why don’t you let Sammy spend the night with us tonight?” Amanda suggested. “He and Jason are getting along so well, I hate to break them up. I can bring Sammy home tomorrow.”
“Are you sure? I mean, I don’t want him to be in the way?”
“Are you kidding, we’d love to have him.”
And Sammy loved the idea of a sleep over, but Rachel wasn’t sure how she felt about it. It was the first time since his birth he’d been away overnight.
She walked home in spite of Brad’s offer to take her home. She needed time to think. Time to consider what she was going to say to Jack.
She was still trying to find the courage to pick up the phone and call him when he knocked on her door and the moment she’d been dreading for a long time finally arrived.
*****
“We need to talk.” She looked exhausted. Worried. And yet she’d never looked more beautiful to him. It had been almost impossible to stay away from her but he’d forced himself to give them both time. Not that he should have expected anything different. Things were always that passionate between them.
Rachel nodded and held the door open. “Yes, I know. Come inside, Jack.”
“Where’ve you been? I’ve been trying to reach you all afternoon.”
She turned and walked into the kitchen without answering.
His first reaction was to be angry, but he squelched that feeling with difficulty. He was trying to be patient. Give her time to accept him back into her life and Sammy’s.
“Sammy and I went over to Amanda’s for a little while. Sammy’s spending the night with her son. You remember Jason, right?” she added in a rush when he stepped closer. She was as nervous as a cat. He had a feeling it had nothing to do with what they needed to talk about and everything to do with what happened between them the last time. Her reaction to him. His to her. The fireworks that was always there between them.
He certainly remembered it. The argument that led up to the kiss had kept him awake and reminded him of all the times he’d been desperate to see her again.
It left him feeling a little vulnerable and exposed. There was no denying Rachel had the ability to make him want to move heaven and earth to make her happy, but he couldn’t give in to that need again. Too many things needed settling between them first.
And he had a feeling she wasn’t going to discuss any of them willingly.
“Would you like some coffee?”
“Rachel...”
“It’s fresh. I just made it.”
Jack struggled to contro
l his impatience. “Sure. Fine. Coffee it is.”
He took cups from the cabinet as he had so many times in the past with Liz during one of their heart-to-hearts.
Jack handed them to Rachel. Her fingers shook as she did the simple task of pouring the coffee. She splashed scalding coffee onto her hand. Rachel instantly dropped the cup and sent it shattering into a thousand pieces across the floor, along with the coffee.
Jack reached for her injured hand instinctively and held it under a cold stream of water. The contact between them became electric, crackling from her to him. He looked into her eyes and knew she felt it too.
She jerked her hand from his as if the contact between them was worse than the burn itself. She put a couple of steps between them, her breathing about as unsteady as her footsteps.
“Rachel.” He couldn’t disguise the frustration in his tone.
“I’m fine, it’s nothing. I’ll be okay.” She turned away, embarrassed. “That was one of my mother’s favorite cups.”
And just like that, she started to cry.
“It’s okay.” He gently took her arm and guided her to one of the chairs. Rachel put her hands over her eyes to cover the tears.
Jack found the broom and cleaned up the mess, then went in search of something for the burn on her hand. Liz’s medicine cabinet was a virtual wealth of supplies.
“It doesn’t look all that bad.” He tried to be gentle as he dabbed ointment over the splash of red. “Here, let me get you some more coffee.”
She didn’t answer, which was okay. He needed time to regroup as well. He poured another cup, adding just the right ingredients from memory.
“Thank you,” she finally managed to say.
“I know things have a tendency to get kind of out of control between us, but we have to try and get beyond that now. For Sammy.”
When she looked into his eyes, he hoped she saw his sincerity.
Something passed in hers before he could define it. Fear, perhaps.
Dear God, don’t let her be afraid of me.
“What do you want, Jack? Are you here to tell me you’re going to try and take him from me?”
That she would think that of him hurt as much as it surprised. “Rachel—”