by Nicole Helm
Bride for Keeps
A Big Sky Brides Romance
Nicole Helm
Bride for Keeps
Copyright © 2018 Nicole Helm
EPUB Edition
The Tule Publishing Group, LLC
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
First Publication by Tule Publishing Group 2018
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
ISBN: 978-1-948342-39-1
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Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Epilogue
The Big Sky Brides Series
Excerpt from Bride by Mistake
More by Nicole Helm
About the Author
Prologue
Fall 2015
Dr. Carter McArthur had spent thirty-one years on this planet knowing exactly who and what he was and what he was meant for. The McArthurs of Marietta, Montana, were upstanding, dedicated, brilliant medical professionals. As the eldest of the three children of Dr. Gerald McArthur, he’d been born and bred to be a doctor in his own right, and he was someone no one could find fault with.
For most of his life, he’d done everything his parents had asked of him. He’d excelled in school. He’d become a doctor and had even turned down an opportunity to join Doctors without Borders despite the fact that had always been his dream. Because the most important dream, always, was being a respected, dutiful McArthur.
In his entire life, he’d only disobeyed his parents once, and that had been when he’d fallen in love with Sierra Shuller. Wild, impetuous, tattooed Sierra had stolen his heart at a New Year’s Eve party not even a year ago. They’d been engaged within three months, married two months after that.
Marriage wasn’t exactly easy, not when his mother couldn’t seem to help herself from criticizing Sierra’s every move, but Carter loved Sierra. And Sierra loved him. That was all that mattered. Almost six months they’d been married now, and Carter had never been happier.
But, sitting in his father’s office, both his parents staring gravely down at him, Carter had a very bad feeling something was coming that would change everything.
“You’ve had some time to come to terms with my diagnosis,” Dad said not showing an ounce of emotion.
Carter had always admired that about his father. The way he could shut out anything that didn’t suit him. Carter tried to emulate it, but there were some ways he’d just never live up to his father’s image.
“There’s nothing to come to terms with. MS is incredibly treatable. I don’t have to tell you that.”
“Yes. I have a particularly aggressive form, but you’re right. There are a wide variety of treatments available, though I may end up having to step down from the hospital.”
“In the future,” Carter corrected. “Not yet. You don’t want to make any rash decisions.” Something his father had said to him on more than one occasion. McArthurs didn’t do rash decisions, and while his father’s MS diagnosis and his keeping it a secret the past few weeks was certainly a surprise, it was hardly worth this kind of cloak and dagger theatrics. The not telling Mom at the beginning had been ridiculous, but Dad had finally acknowledged his diagnosis, at least to him and Mom.
Now, hopefully, that meant moving forward and telling the rest of the family. Carter knew Dad hated to appear weak, and Carter supposed some might consider this condition a weakness. Still, Dad had to approach it like McArthurs approached all of their problems. Calmly. Methodically. He was a doctor after all. Shouldn’t he be more clearheaded about the whole thing?
“No, we won’t be making any rash decisions,” Dad said, his mouth curving just a fraction, as if he was almost amused by his own advice being given to him. “But in the light of this diagnosis and the genetic implications, especially if you and…” Dad grimaced. “If you and your wife decide to have children…”
Carter adopted the same cool, detached expression his father had started this conversation with. “Sierra and I will start a family soon, I’m sure.” They’d talked about it, though he’d suggested to Sierra she find some kind of direction for her life before they started trying. Perhaps it was cruel of him to think of his mother this way, but he didn’t want Sierra to end up like her, caring only about the McArthur name and how the town viewed them and having nothing of her own.
He doubted Sierra could ever be like that. She wasn’t big on caring about appearances, but he wanted to ensure she had her own avenues of passion before they started a family. As much as he cared about his family and their approval, as much as he respected his father as a doctor, Carter wanted something…different for the family he would start. More…warmth.
Sierra was warmth personified. It was what had drawn Carter to her despite all the ways he’d known his family would deem her unsuitable. Carter had no doubts she’d be a great mother. Maybe he’d been hasty to think she needed some kind of individual direction before starting a family. She was independent and strong and—
“Biologically speaking, I’m not your father.”
Carter felt like his brain flatlined for a moment before coming back too quick, too rushed. He stared at his father. “What… What did you say?”
“When your mother and I were engaged, she had an affair. You are the result of that affair.”
“Wh…” He looked at his mother, but she stood there looking as placid and regal as ever. “I…”
“Now, of course this is a bit of a shock, but there have been quite a few secrets in this family lately.”
“It started with your relationship with Sierra,” Mom muttered.
He had kept that a secret, announcing they were engaged before his parents had a chance to manipulate things. But… “I think my parentage predates Sierra,” he managed, feeling…untethered. Like he was floating above this whole thing unfolding before him. They couldn’t mean he wasn’t…
“Yes, well. Secrets are tearing us apart. Your brother is home thanks to Jess. We’re all together as I determine what this MS diagnosis means for us as a family. It seemed important to be clear and honest.”
Clear and honest. “But I…” His whole life he’d been a McArthur. The oldest McArthur.
“Your biological father is aware of the situation,” Dad continued as if this was just new news, not a life-altering change to his whole perception of the world. “At this point, he has a family of his own, and we all think it would be best if we go on as we always have.”
“So why… Why did you tell me?” Not a McArthur, when he’d only ever tried to be exactly that.
“Secrets. We’re done with secrets. You’re married now. A new generation of McArthurs is no doubt going to start. We need to make sure this next generation is raised on as strong a footing as you and your sister were. The truth is an important foundation.”
Which didn’t make any sense at all, since his foundation was now gone. Everything he’d believed about himself. Everything he’d been told for thirty-one years. Not a McArthur. Not made in his father’s image.
The product of an affair. The son of a man who wanted to go on as things were, never knowing one another. “Why did you… Why would you… You got married anyway. You raised me as yours.”
“Can you imagine the embarrassment?” Dad replied, as if shocked Carter might suggest any other outcome. “Especially at the time. The stain it would have put on our name. Unacceptable. Besides, your mother made her choice. She wanted to marry me despite her indiscretion.”
Carter felt sick and like he couldn’t breathe. It was bad enough it didn’t make any sense, that it changed his entire life, but the detached, businesslike way his father spoke about it all…
Carter didn’t know how to wrap his head around it. He didn’t know how to accept it.
“That’s why I’m counting on you not to tell anyone until I can make a formal announcement to the whole family. We’ll have a meeting to announce it in a few days and discuss how we’ll move forward as a family. As much as we want to be honest with each other, this is information best kept in the family. No one need know beyond us. And I don’t want you telling your wife until the meeting. I don’t want you telling her at all, but I suppose I can’t ask that of you.”
“You suppose,” Carter echoed. He felt like he had cotton in his ears and lead in his lungs.
“We’ll meet Wednesday at one, if you and Sierra are available?”
“Available.” Like it was a business meeting. The announcement of Dad’s MS diagnosis and the fact Carter wasn’t a McArthur.
“Carter, this doesn’t change anything. Regardless of blood, you are a representative of the McArthur name. I’m counting on you to keep this secret, and to behave as you always have. And to keep your wife in line. We as McArthurs are done with secrets, but that doesn’t mean anyone in Marietta needs to know. Sierra must keep this information to herself or I will hold you personally responsible.”
Sierra. In line. Yeah, that’d go over well. If he even uttered that phrase, his wife would go on a tear to end all tears. One that would likely end in all of Montana knowing the truth.
Dad was right though. No matter how much Carter was reeling, how hard this was to understand, he couldn’t tell her before their family meeting. She’d never keep it to herself.
Why would that be so horrible?
Carter looked up at the man who’d raised him, who’d claimed to be his father for thirty-one years. Who had impressed upon him how important it was to be a McArthur.
But he wasn’t. Everything he thought he was…he wasn’t.
*
“What is this meeting about?” Sierra asked irritably. She hated going to the McArthur house. It was big and cold and she had always known she wasn’t welcome. But she went because she loved her husband and maybe, deep down, she harbored some stupid hope they’d eventually get used to the fact she and Carter were married and nothing would change that.
“Announcements, Sierra. I’ve told you.”
Sierra scowled at her husband. He’d been distant and grumpy for days, maybe weeks, and she thought she could handle it. Carter’s brother was back after something like a decade-long absence and that would send the McArthurs into a tizzy. Whenever they were in a tizzy, Carter was… Well, he didn’t like to bring her into it because her opinion of his family wasn’t exactly high.
It wasn’t a great way to start a marriage—his family hating her, her hating his family—but she loved him. That was more important than McArthur family crap.
So, if that was all it was, she would have given him his space to be distant and weird. But when he started to sound like his father, a cold chill spread through her. When it didn’t let up, and he was instead snippy and quiet and… Oh, she hated this.
She sat in the passenger seat of Carter’s car and folded her arms over her chest. “I don’t know why I couldn’t skip it. Your parents do not consider me one of your family.”
“You’re a McArthur, Sierra, no matter anyone’s feelings on the subject. I need you there. Please…” He let out a heavy sigh. It was possibly the first display of emotion from him that wasn’t all edge and silence. This was something else. Heavy. He always took on too much.
It was strange that so much of what she loved about him—his decency, the uptight way he held himself, and all the things he took on his shoulders—were also some of the most frustrating things about him. She admired him, but sometimes she wished he’d be…mortal. Balanced. Have a flaw or two so she didn’t feel like such a giant flaw compared to him.
Or maybe she just wished he’d let her in.
She unfolded her arms and reached across the console between them, sliding her hand against the back of his neck and stroking her fingers through his hair. “Babe. What is eating you up?”
He was silent, beautiful blue eyes focused on the road, jaw tensed tight. She’d never seen him quite like this, and it poked at every fear she’d ever had. Because when she’d agreed to marry Carter, she’d been certain he’d tell his family to butt out and that would be that. She’d been convinced love would fix everything. When that hadn’t been the case, she’d convinced herself once they were married the McArthurs would have to treat her with some kindness or respect.
She’d been an idiot, clearly, and now she lived in a horrible kind of fear that eventually his mother or father would say the right combination of words to convince him he’d been wrong. He—in all his perfect, McArthur glory—didn’t actually love the whirlwind of a disaster she was.
She’d confessed that to Jess the other day. Much like her, Jess was a sort of honorary McArthur—a nurse who often helped Dr. McArthur. While the family didn’t treat her badly, they didn’t include her either. So Sierra had become friends with Jess, because Jess didn’t treat her like dirt.
Jess had told her to tell Carter her fears about his distance, and Sierra had rejected that advice. Tell him she was insecure and afraid? When he was always so sure and good and right? That would ensure his family convinced him she wasn’t good enough.
Besides, she usually threw a little fit, and he’d come after her trying to make things right. It was the pattern of their relationship. Sierra didn’t know that it was the best pattern, but it was always how they’d worked.
Until a few weeks ago. She’d thrown she didn’t know how many fits lately, and Carter had simply let her. What had broken in their pattern? She didn’t understand and she didn’t know how to fix it.
She watched him now, silent despite her question, tight-lipped and serious, and she knew she was absolutely right when she’d rejected Jess’s advice. She had to act like everything was fine. The same as they always were. It was the only way to ensure things were fine and would stay that way.
Carter parked the car in front of his parents’ house and then he got out without a word. He didn’t even wait for her before he was striding toward the house.
She stared at him for a few seconds, mouth dropped. He reached for the door, not once looking back at her. She had never seen him act this way. It was disorienting and downright scary.
She was tempted to stay where she was. His family treated her like garbage. Why would she voluntarily walk inside, especially when he didn’t even seem to care whether she followed him or not?
But finally, finally Carter glanced back, then raised an eyebrow at her. An are you coming? impatient look.
It infuriated her, but worse, it scared her. They’d only been married a few months, maybe he was realizing the error of his ways. Maybe this was the punishment for not living up to the fake image he’d created of her in his m
ind, for not winning over his cold parents. Slow torture by McArthur insults.
Blinking back tears, she got out of the car and crossed the yard to him. She wished she knew what to do. How to make sure he didn’t change his mind.
But all she knew to do was follow him inside, feeling scraped raw and scared.
He led her to the library where Dr. and Mrs. McArthur were sitting on the couch. Chairs had been arranged in front of the couch. Lina, Carter’s little sister, was sitting on one of them. Jess on the other. Carter slid into the seat next to Lina.
Childishly, Sierra didn’t want to sit next to him, but what choice did she have? She didn’t want his mother sensing discord, that was for sure. If she was going to weather whatever this was, it had to be without Mrs. McArthur pouncing on a weakness.
No one exchanged any real greetings, just nods. After a few horrible silent moments, Dr. McArthur asked Lina something about med school, which got some boring medical conversation going.
But Carter didn’t speak or add to the discussion in any way like he usually did. He only stared at his hands. He hadn’t been sleeping. Sierra questioned whether he’d been eating. What could be the cause of this? Something awful. So awful he wouldn’t tell her. Or worse, couldn’t trust her with it.
Lina looked grave as well, but not like Carter. Not like the weight of the world was on her shoulders.
So, it couldn’t be that bad, could it? It was just Carter taking too much on his shoulders. Par for the course. She’d finally figure out what was bothering him and this horrible dread would go away. It would be something small and silly and he’d apologize for blowing it out of proportion once it was dealt with.
A little hush of silence fell and Sierra glanced at the doorway. Cole stood there. She only recognized him because they’d run into him on the street last week. She’d known of the McArthur’s prodigal son who’d run away to be a rodeo star almost a decade ago, but that day on the street had been the first time she’d really met him.