In Pursuit of Light

by Sarah B Meadows

  I glance over at Matt to see his head bowed deep in thought. He’s known of Kia the longest from the visions that he was having of her. It explains so much of his behaviour over the last few months, though I mistakenly put it down to work. A part of me knew there was more, yet I didn’t listen to my instincts. Instead, I pushed them aside and buried my head in my own work.

  The kitchen door opens and Jack steps through wearing his usual stoic mask. He’s changed back into the comfortable, light cotton clothing he wears when he’s home. Perhaps he intends to stay for a few hours? His gaze flicks from me to Matt, then back to me again, making me wonder if he’s come to share more information, but is unsure if he should do so with Matt in the room.

  He closes the door behind him, then turns fully, pauses, shuts his eyes, then lowers his head as he did outside the house, and in my room, to activate the stones. Most likely he’s soundproofing the room. Matt looks up and over, obviously just as intrigued as I am as to what Jack plans to share.

  I want to play a different game with Jack this evening, so I grab the opportunity before he can start. “I want to offer you some information, Jack. You can ask a question about it if I get to ask my own questions,” I offer in an even tone, continuing to prep the vegetables but keeping my eyes on him for a few moments. His eyes flicker minutely, trying to follow my thoughts, no doubt.

  “I will only agree once you have parted with the information.” His tone is flat and careful.

  He’s at a disadvantage for once when it comes to knowledge and he clearly doesn’t like it. Yet he’s not so desperate to trust that what I know could be valuable. Let’s put his theory to the test.

  “I found something on Kia’s back,” I say as I finally pull my eyes away, giving him a moment to digest my words. As much as I want to watch his every movement, a part of me knows he’ll be more compliant without the intensity of my eyes on him, so I continue chopping at the vegetables for the guys' dinner.

  “Deal,” Jack finally says with a slight tone to his voice, sparking my interest. I skim my eyes over to him to find he’s standing with his arms behind his back and his feet shoulder width apart, giving him an air of openness that I’m not sure I’ve ever seen from him.

  “Why don’t Ayrans have males in their species?” I ask, turning my attention to the mushrooms.

  There’s a small pause before he answers. “I do not know the answer to that, Sebastian. The Haoghvans have only given that information to a select few,” Jack’s voice is steady once again. Huh, Jack doesn’t know the answer to something. That’s new.

  “That’s not an answer, Jack,” I say in an even tone of my own, before I look up to him. His eyes catch mine, and he stares back.

  “Fine. Ask another,” he relents.

  “How do Ayrans procreate?” I ask curiously as I move on to cutting the peppers. I find that keeping my hands occupied helps my mind stay focused.

  “It is done when they are in a deep meditative state, though the time frame in which it takes to complete, and the gestation of the fetus are both unknown,” Jack reveals, still keeping his tone steady.

  My brain can’t seem to process what he’s saying. How can you make a life through meditation? That’s absurd. Surely there must be more to it?

  My mind starts going through various possibilities as to how that could even happen, but Jack’s voice pulls me from my internal dialogue. “What did you see on Kia’s back?” he asks with just a slight eagerness to his tone.

  I look up, holding his gaze this time. I wish I knew just how much I could be jeopardising any possibility of us staying by Kia’s side by telling him.

  “Markings, like the one behind her ear. What is the process of cleansing the body so that you can enter into Mid Gaia?” I fire back at him, hoping to take him off guard. His eyes bulge slightly at my revelation about Kia’s markings, followed by a slight grinding of his jaw from my question. Now, this is fun. I could stand here all day, watching him squirm.

  “The cleansing of the body can be done by ridding it of toxins through diet and meditation, but it takes years to complete. There is also, however, a serum that can be administered. Most bodies that have been exposed to the infection over a prolonged amount of time fail to pull through. The mind is too weak to resurface, and the heart usually fails in the battle over the body. How many marks did you see?” His voice sounds off, as though he’s trying very hard to keep his tone even, which he usually does without much effort.

  Something in me feels like it’s dying. How long has he known this? And why has he not told us before? I can feel my heart pounding in my ears, and I feel like I’m back in my room with the Gjinn. Paralysed, yet completely aware of my surroundings. Fear grips my heart, making it hard to breathe, and the knife in my hand trembles slightly. Jack raises his eyebrows a fraction, and his piercing blue eyes hold mine, daring me to move.

  “Five could be seen on her skin that have fully healed, but more could be seen where the skin is healing. Why is Kia expressing desire, if her species doesn’t procreate with males?” I spit out through clenched teeth, keeping my eyes pinned to his. I watch for every detail that might show on his pretty face, that pretty face that is just asking to be hit – preferable with a sledgehammer.

  “I do not know. I have never seen an Ayran behave as Kia does,” he reveals, keeping his piercing eyes on mine but doesn’t ask his own question, knowing that his answer wasn’t enough to grant him one. That’s twice he’s failed to answer my questions. How has she got him so perplexed when he said he spent many years of his childhood growing up with them?

  Pulling myself back to the questions I have, I intend to drag this out as long as possible. “How is Rolland speaking telepathically with her?” I eventually ask. Jack’s eyes bulge again, and I see Matt move a fraction in my peripheral vision. He is just as worried about them as I am. Jack’s reaction turns my stomach slightly.

  “They are exchanging energy through thought, body, and what is known as ‘life’ that runs through us all, which is sometimes referred to as our soul or spirit. Their spirits are recognising each other, and in doing so, forming a bond. Has Kia turned on anyone else?” Jack’s voice is becoming edgy, causing my already churning stomach to drop like a dead weight.

  “Yes, she turned on Gerry thinking he meant Matt harm. What will happen if Rolland and Kia are separated?” I demand, needing to know the answer as much as I need my next breath. Silence follows my words. Jack’s eyes glare back at me, demanding I ask another question, yet he knows there is no other question that will pacify me. He wants more answers to Kia’s back, I’m sure of it. But either he doesn’t know the answer or isn’t prepared to give it to me.

  Jack moves, turning his back on me and walks out of the kitchen. Matt quickly scrambles out of his seat just as I turn the off the cooker, and we both chase after Jack, knowing he will search out Kia to get the answers he wants.

  Fuck that. He’s a dead man if he thinks he can walk away from me and not tell me what the fuck could happen to them if they’re separated. Game. On.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Rolland

  As I saunter up the stairs to my room, I relish in the knowledge that I can feel Kia’s emotions and take her pain, no matter where she is in the house. Happiness, peace and whatever that other feeling is that I still can’t put my finger on yet, flows back through the connection which joins us.

  Coming to a stop at my door, I find her sitting on the window seat in the cocoon she’s made out of my duvet, looking out at the back gardens that encompass the vast lake.

  I walk over to her with a playful smile bouncing around on my lips, wanting to see her face. She knows I’m here, so I can’t get the jump on her, and she knows my thoughts and intentions. She pulls down the duvet as I near her so that I can see her face. Eyes that are so full of life, wonderment and happiness shine back at me, with the deep blue pulling me further to her, enticing me forward. I let my eyes roam over her shiny ebony hair that seems to have a life all o
f its own. Its smooth and wild as it’s been pushed up in crazy angles by the duvet. Her already tiny face looks even smaller where it’s hidden within the folds. And then there’s that fucking smile - the one that draws my attention to her beautiful mouth like a moth to a flame, the one that reaches her eyes making them as bright as the sun, the one that lights up the entire room like fireworks in the night sky.

  Taking a seat next to her, I begin to bury my head in the duvet, trying to find my way deep into its folds, searching for her belly so I can nip at it. She giggles at my antics, encouraging me on. I lift her onto my lap and as she settles down, she pulls the duvet up around us, creating a shelter with it. Darkness encloses us both in its thickness, and I start a trail of nipping and kissing at her skin through the vest she’s wearing. I can sense that she wants to drop the duvet so she can feel me but also doesn’t want to let go of it just yet. The thought makes me laugh, fueling and spreading her desire.

  “Drop it, Kia,” I dare her, my voice coming muffled against her skin. “You can’t hold onto it forever,” I taunt, kissing my way up her neck to her ear. She doesn’t drop it, but her energy begins to slip into me. “That’s not fair, Kia. I don’t have magic mojo like you,” I moan into her shoulder. The duvet drops slightly, giving some light back to our eyes. Inching back from her, I find her head is entirely out of the duvet, but she keeps a tight hold of the rest, pulling it up around my own neck, so we’re both under it.

  Her eyes flick over my face. “Your heart so beautiful, Rolland.” Her accent is Norwegian or maybe Swedish, but very light in places.

  “And your soul is too pure for my thoughts,” I tell her with meaning. Puzzlement washes over her, so I show her an image of me sucking on her nipples while running my hands up her legs, sharing with her my intentions of feeling and doing more. She sucks in a breath as her eyes deepen and begin to swirl before she moves forward toward my lips. I keep track of her mouth, needing the taste of her on my tongue more than I need my next breath. Her lips touch mine gently, just as her emotions change from desire to worry in a fraction of a second. I pull back to see what has her so concerned and find her eyes are fixed, not moving as they were a seconds ago.

  “What is it, Kia?” I ask confused examining her face. Annoyance, anger, and a shitload of dominance hits me, followed by a huge dose of rage before she pulls it all back, muffling it slightly but not cutting it off entirely. I frown, not understanding what has her so worked up.

  “Kia? What’s wrong?” I ask again. Frustration simmers up before she muffles that too. “Kia!” I demand a little louder.

  Noise from the hallway pulls at my attention, but I keep my focus on her, wondering if she’s about to go into another bout of rage. Jack appears at my door, but I refuse to look away as another wave of dominance slams through me. What is it with her and Jack? Her eyes remain a steady blue, studying something as she considers my face, but not seeming to see me.

  “Kia, could I trouble you to see your back?” Jack asks in his usual flat tone.

  Possessiveness rears heavily up in me and my arms tighten around her small waist, drawing her a fraction closer to me. Her eyes soften and begin swirling again. So many emotions course within my own body at once they feel like they’re slightly suffocating me. The undeniable need to protect her from any visions, thoughts, and feelings runs like fire through my veins. He shouldn’t even get to fucking look at her, let alone get anywhere near her back. Kia’s hand moves up my neck to my face, pushing comfort through to me and easing some of my worries.

  I hear more noise coming down the hallway, then make its way into my room, but I don’t hear any more voices.

  “Jack need answer Sebastian’s question first.” Kia’s voice comes through my mind sounding worried.

  “I don’t want him looking at or touching you, Kia,” I tell her firmly. My hands draw her closer to me, and my heart feels as though something is crawling around in it, looking for an escape. Something coils within me, like snake ready to strike at any movement. Vengeance needs to be served for what they did to her and someone is going to pay for it.

  Something flashes in Kia’s eyes before her lips descend fiercely upon mine. She trickles energy down my throat, pushing the feelings away and soothing them like a wave from the ocean crashing over a sandy beach. Her lips pull at mine, encouraging them to open, and I feel my shoulders relax as I reflexively open my mouth to her, discovering her tongue and tasting it. Relief flows through me from Kia and my lungs seem to start functioning again. She inches back from me, looking me in the eyes with compassion and understanding.

  “Ask, Rolland. Ask to answer Sebastian’s question, and I finish that,” she says playfully, her eyes shining with silver stars. My heart warms at her games, knowing she’s using my own tricks against me. I feel a smile tug at the corner of my mouth.

  “Answer Sebastian’s question, Jack,” I finally relent, but don’t take my eyes from Kia. I can’t. I’m not sure what I’ll do if I look away right now.

  Silence comes from behind Kia. I don’t care - so long as she’s in my arms, where she needs to be, where she belongs, I just don’t care. I run my eyes over her lips, thinking about my reward for doing as she asked.

  “Wait, Rolland. You need hear what Jack answers. Sebastian and Matt worry you and me.” Concern laces her voice and I don’t like it. A frown pulls my lips down at hearing that note of concern. “It not matter what he answers. I here. With you,” she soothes. I relax again, finally dragging my gaze away from Kia’s to look behind her at Jack. His jaw is clenched so hard I’m surprised he hasn’t cracked any teeth and there’s a definite line etched across his forehead. Huh, I didn’t think he had facial expressions - guess you really do learn something new each day.

  His study is on the back of Kia’s head like he’s trying to penetrate her thoughts. I flick my gaze over to Matt and Seb, who can’t seem to decide who to watch. Kia, me, or Jack. It’s amusing to watch and brings the smile back to my face. Happiness floods to me from Kia, so I soak it up, using it to fuel my own feelings.

  “I do not know what will happen, Sebastian. Kia needs to return to her homeland, where she belongs and will be safe. Her energy has already returned and is still increasing, attracting more of those that mean her harm.” Jack's voice doesn’t sound right. He sounds lost, confused perhaps, and maybe even worried. Shit, Jack never sounds worried. Except when it comes to Kia. Then his words begin to sink in.

  Kia return home? She IS home. What is he on about? Something about her energy returning and attracting those that wish her harm. I look over to Seb, who has got his face to the ceiling with his eyes closed.

  Deciding to keep Kia in the loop, I speak aloud with him. “Seb, what’s he on about?”

  Kia’s emotions are completely muffled, though not cut off completely. She’s giving me room to feel without her own feelings distracting me. I flick my eyes to her, finding a frown that mirrors my own until she seems to realise, or hear, something. Her head moves round to Matt, as though she’s trying to concentrate on him. Matt notices her looking at him, and narrows his eyes slightly at her, causing her to turn back to me.

  Seb finally brings his focus down to look at me - his eyes are full of remorse and guilt. What the hell?

  “I was trying to tell you before I healed Kia’s knees. When Kia reaches her full potential, it will be like having ten of us standing in the same room. Jack wants to get Kia somewhere safe, where her energy can be masked until-” Seb pauses his words. Why is he hesitating? His hesitation churns my stomach, causing my fingers to dig deeper into Kia’s hips.

  Feeling Kia’s small hand tug at my face, I turn my gaze to hers. “I here, Rolland. In arms. Listen my voice.” I feel her lips on my head and relax my shoulders again. She pulls back, turning her attention to Seb, waiting. I look over at him and raise my eyebrows, waiting for him to continue as well.

  “Like us, she’s not from here. She’s from a land far outside of the ice circle,” Seb forces out, then swallows
hard, trying to find his words. “Jack wants to get her back to her people, who will be missing her dearly, Rolland.” His voice breaks at the end and I know there’s so much he’s leaving out.

  An image flits through my mind, sent from Kia. Trees higher than skyscrapers, full of colour and life, followed by a searing pain that races through my head. I suck in a deep breath before Kia tries taking control of the pain. My eyes flash back to her, glaring at her for even thinking of doing so. She sticks her tongue out at me, which pulls a smile from my lips.

  Kia takes a deep breath, before kissing me on the lips again, releasing more energy through me and warming my heart. Then she slowly removes herself from my lap, running her hands up my face, pushing comfort, the feeling of home, and peace heavily through my body, making me feel sated and relaxed. I let her go, wishing I had the strength to fight her and pull her back into my arms.

  Instead, I sit and admire her form as she rights herself, straightening up with determination. I feel her tug at my energy where her hand is still touching my face. Unable to deny her anything, I give her my energy more than willingly. Someone pulls in a breath. I think it may have been Jack.

  Kia turns from me and stalks incredibly slowly in the direction of Jack. I keep a trace on her emotions, watching as she repeats the process of what she did in Seb’s room to Jack again. Dominance thunders through her with need, desire, and a shit load of frustration coursing through her. I move my eyes to Jack as I lean forward onto my knees, watching her handy work. So small. So full of life. She’s incredible.

  More dominance flows from her and I feel a tug on the connection that joins us. She’s asking for more energy, so I push some through to her, giving it to her freely. Jack takes another audible breath but doesn’t move. His eyes have widened considerably as he works his jaw hard. Kia comes to a stop in front of him, holding the energy that I’ve given her, poised, ready to do what she needs to do. Jack’s eyes waver ever so slightly.