by HELEN HARDT
“I’m not talking about stuff, Riley. What do you need?”
I huff again. “A different life?”
He smiled. “I can give you that.”
“I mean a different first twenty-five years, Matt. And I’m sorry, but you can’t give me that, and my money can’t buy it either.”
“That’s true. But I can offer you my love. My support. I’ll hold your hand and help you get through everything.”
I shook my head. “You don’t even know what you’re getting into.”
“I have a general idea.”
I glared at him. “It’s you, isn’t it? You’re the friend Rock had a drink with.”
“I had a drink with him, yeah.”
“Damn him.”
“He didn’t tell me anything. Other than you’re all persons of interest in your father’s murder.”
And one more huff from me. “Not the devoted children we seemed to be at the funeral, huh?”
“He didn’t tell me anything I couldn’t find out on my own. You know that.”
“Yeah. I know.”
“Is that why you used a fake name in Montana?”
“Part of it. Part of me just wanted to be someone else for a little while. Pretend. Have that different life that you and no one else can give me.”
“But it wasn’t different,” he said.
“No. It wasn’t different. Not at all. On the outside, maybe, but not on the inside.”
“I want to help you.”
“I’ll say it again. You don’t know what you’re getting into.”
“Maybe not. But whatever it is, I don’t care.”
“What if I did it? What if I killed my father?”
“I don’t believe you did.”
“You hardly know me.”
“All right.” He took both of my hands in his. “I’ll keep all your secrets, Riley. Did you kill your father?”
I shook my head, sighing. “No. But if I’m going down for it, I wish I had.”
38
Matteo
I believed her.
This woman didn’t have it in her to harm another soul.
But if Derek Wolfe had done to her what I was imagining, he didn’t have a soul.
He was rotting in hell right now.
Good thing, because if he crossed my path, I’d strangle him with my bare hands.
This woman—this sweet and beautiful woman…
“Riley,” I said, “I’m going to help you. I’m going to help you prove your innocence, and I’m going to help you get through all the other shit you’re living with.”
“You can’t,” she said. “No one can help me.”
“I don’t accept that.”
“You don’t have a choice, Matt. I am who I am, and there’s no changing it.”
“I think you misunderstood me. I don’t want to change you, sweetheart. I love you exactly as you are. I want to help you deal with all of this.”
“I love you for that. I really do. But I’m a fucking mess, Matt.”
“You say no one can help you. I disagree. If you want help, it’s available.”
“I do want help. But I also don’t want to go down for a murder I didn’t commit, and I don’t want any of my brothers going down for it either.”
“Rock says he has an alibi.”
“He does. He was in Montana, but the authorities think he might have hired someone to do it. Except he had no money. He was living on his own.”
“And Reid and Roy?”
“Both alone in their apartments. No one can corroborate.”
“And…you?” I asked hesitantly.
“Same. I was alone. Here. The murder took place at four in the morning.”
“What about his girlfriend? Fonda something? I read about her when I researched your dad.”
“Fonda? She’s not implicated. She wasn’t with him that night. She and my mother appear to have alibis. Besides, my mother wouldn’t have him offed. No Derek Wolfe means no seven-figure alimony payments.”
“So you all have a motive?”
“All except Lacey, and they seem to be going after her the hardest. I don’t get it.”
“Where was she?”
“Home alone at her place as well. Except the security tapes, which would have shown her coming home and going out the next morning, seem to be missing.”
“Surely there are security tapes for this place,” I said.
“There are. But we all have the money to hire an expert, so the security tapes mean nothing.”
I nodded. “Fuck.”
“Fuck is right.” She sighed. “My dad was into some nasty stuff.”
“I can imagine.”
“No, you really can’t.”
“Riley, I know what some fathers do to their little girls. I can imagine, even though I don’t want to. If he walked through that door right now, I’d fucking kill him myself.”
“You’re not wrong in your assumptions.” She gulped. “But that’s not what I’m talking about.”
Rage unfurled at the back of my neck, surging through the rest of my body like a river of boiling blood.
I’d already guessed, but to hear her say it…
Good thing the derelict was already in his grave.
Finally, I gained my composure, tamping down the anger that threatened to overtake me. Riley didn’t need that right now. She needed me whole and unyielding. She needed my strength.
“Not your brothers?” I asked.
“He beat the shit out of them, but no, he didn’t abuse them sexually.”
“Then what? What the hell is worse than what he did to you?”
She shook her head. “I can’t even bring myself to say the words.”
“Please. I want to help.”
“Apparently, he…” She swallowed, closing her eyes. “He killed women. Hunted them, and killed them.”
I stared into space, almost seeing right through Riley next to me.
Hunted women.
Killed them.
The words became jumbled in my head.
It was too much. Too much just to know what the psycho had done to the woman I loved. But now? To know he played fucked-up hunting games with others? With fellow human beings?
“H-How…” The words caught in my throat.
“Roy. He saw it once. He… It was a memory he’d buried inside his mind. He underwent guided hypnosis last week and uncovered it.”
“Did any… Fuck. Did any of the women…”
“As far as we know, one might have survived. We have a name. Just a first name. Zinnia. It’s an uncommon name, but still, what are the chances we can find her? And even if we do find her, we don’t know that she’s behind the murder. And if she is, I kind of want to let her go.”
“I understand, but you have to save yourself, baby.”
“I know.”
“They’re going to look at your phone records. Your emails. Will they find anything suspicious?”
“You mean will they find emails and payments to a hired killer? Of course not.”
I breathed a sigh of relief.
“I heard that.”
“Baby…”
“Part of you wonders if I did it.”
I cupped her cheek, hoping she felt the love through my fingertips. “No, it’s not that. I’m just concerned. We have to get you out of this.”
“We have to get us all out of this. We need to find this Zinnia and uncover all my father’s secrets. Only then will we be able to move forward.”
“I can’t believe I’m about to suggest this, but…”
“What?”
“Can your family pay off the authorities. Get the case closed?”
She closed her eyes and exhaled. “I can’t lie to you. I’ve thought about it.”
“And your brothers?”
She opened her eyes. “They haven’t brought it up. But there’s this detective, Hank Morgan, who seems bent on finding a culprit. I don’t know why. My father was no paragon o
f virtue.”
“Then we figure out this detective’s angle.”
“We already have the best PIs in the business on this. They’re looking for Zinnia. They’re looking into Morgan. They’re doing all they can.”
“Are they loyal?”
“I assume so. They’re getting paid a boatload of money.”
“Are they the same PIs your father used?”
“I don’t know. You’d have to ask Reid, but probably.”
“Then they owe their loyalty to your father. Not to you.”
“Except my father’s dead.”
“He is. But his money isn’t. There might be a stream somewhere that you and your brothers don’t know about.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I don’t trust your father,” I said. “You have to consider that this is all a setup.”
39
Riley
A setup.
We’d considered that, and we decided that our father was too much of an egomaniac to orchestrate his own death.
I should tell Matt this.
I should tell Matt a lot of things.
But right now…
Right now I wanted—needed—something else from him.
I turned to him and crawled into his arms.
He held me tightly, and my body responded instantly. My nipples hardened and I ached between my legs.
How could this be?
How, when I was just thinking about all the horrid things my father used to do to me?
Still, I yearned for Matt’s lips on mine. Yearned for him to undress me, kiss me all over, take me to that amazing place I’ve only been once.
I kissed his neck and inhaled his crisp, masculine scent.
Intoxicating.
Then I trailed kisses to his mouth and pressed my lips against his, parting my own slightly, letting my tongue touch his firm lips.
But they remained closed.
“Kiss me. Please,” I whispered.
He parted his lips and I slid my tongue between them. But his tongue didn’t meet mine. I searched for it, found it, twirled my own around it.
And he pulled back.
“Baby…”
“What is it?”
“After all you’ve been through…”
“You don’t want to kiss me?”
“God, yes. I want it more than air. But—”
I moved out of his arms and slumped on the couch. “I disgust you.”
“Riley! Of course not.”
“You’re thinking about what he did to me. And you don’t even know the details!”
“God, no! I’m not. I can’t even let my mind go there. I’m thinking of you, Riley. You.”
“If you’re thinking of me, and my needs, you should kiss me.”
“If I’d known, I never would have pressured you in Montana.”
“Pressured me? You didn’t.”
“I wanted you.”
“And I wanted you. Do you think I would have let it happen if I didn’t want it? I know how to say no, Matt.”
“But—”
“I said no all those times. He just didn’t listen. You would have.”
“Yes, of course I would have.”
“Then get over yourself and kiss me. You want it. I want it. What’s more, I need it right now. I need to feel the beauty in the world, and Matt, the only time I’ve ever felt it was when I was with you.”
“Oh, God, baby.” His lips came down on mine with a force I wasn’t expecting.
I opened for him, and we kissed deeply, passionately.
But he pulled back once more.
His eyes were sunken and sad. “Baby…”
“Matt, please…”
“I… can’t. Not until we get you the help you need. I can’t take advantage of you.”
“What advantage? I’m giving you the advantage!”
“But you—”
“Matt, we’ve already done this, and you didn’t know about my past then.”
“But I know now, and if I’d known—”
“But you didn’t. I need you, and I know you need me just as much.”
“God, yes. I do.”
I rose and pulled him to his feet. “We’re going to bed.”
“Here?”
“Yes, here.” I led him to my bedroom.
“What happened here?” he asked.
Shit. I’d forgotten in my lust. My bedding was strewn on the floor, and my top sheet ripped into two halves.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? Come on, Riley.”
It came back to me with a vengeance. No more lies. I loved this man, and he deserved the truth.
“I… I tore my bed apart. Remembering…” Tears welled in my eyes.
Maybe Matt was right. Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this. Words poured out of my mouth.
“He used to make me put brown sheets on my bed, because any other color…”
Matt pulled me back into his arms. “I get it. You don’t have to say it.”
“You can’t bear to hear it?’
“No, I can’t, but I can bear it if you can. I’m trying to protect you, Riley. Can’t you see that?”
I pulled away. “I want you to go.”
“No. I’m staying.”
“If you’re not going to make love to me, I don’t want you here.”
“I’m not going to make love to you. Not after what you’ve been through today. But I’ll stay, and I’ll hold you. I’ll cook you dinner. I’ll remake your bed and tuck you in. I’ll lie beside you and protect you. And I’ll have a fucking hard-on the whole damned time, because I love you and I ache for you, but tonight is not the night to touch you.”
“Even if I want it?”
“Even if you want it.”
And just like that, I realized he was right.
Right on the nose.
I didn’t want to make love to make love, I wanted to make love to escape.
Matt deserved better than that, and so did I.
40
Matteo
“I understand,” she finally said.
“Tell me, then. What can I do for you? Are you hungry?”
“Not really.”
“Did you eat at the wake?”
“Are you kidding? Not a bite.”
“Then I’m making you something.” He rose and walked into the kitchen.
I followed him. “I’m afraid my fridge is empty.”
“We’ll go out, then.”
“I can’t. I don’t want to go anywhere. I look like a freak with these swollen red eyes.”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “You’re beautiful, but your wish is my command. We’ll order in. What kind of food do you like? I know you love Mexican.”
“Are you kidding? No Manhattan Mexican place can equal the stuff Mrs. Carson made.”
“Indian, then? Italian? You name it.”
“I don’t care. You pick something.”
“You got it.” I fired up my phone, found an Italian place close by, and ordered two servings of lasagna to be delivered along with salads and bread.
“Now,” I said. “Let’s take care of that bed.” I walked to the bedroom.
She’d torn her top sheet in half. I wasn’t sure how she did it. It was ripped neatly at the seam, which must have taken some brute strength to start.
I imagined Riley could do whatever she set her mind to, and her mind had been set on ripping that sheet.
“Extra sheets?” I asked.
She gestured to the bathroom. “There’s a linen closet in there.”
I found the bedding quickly and re-sheeted her bed. Then I put the comforters and blankets back on. “Good as new.”
“Thank you,” she murmured.
“Did he…? Here?”
She shook her head. “No. Never here. Always on his terms. Here would have given me too much power.”
“Why didn’t you take the power, Riley?” I hated myself for asking the question. I kn
ew better. “God, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” She looked down, unable to meet my gaze. “I don’t know. I’ll never be able to answer that question, Matt.”
“I shouldn’t have asked it. It was unfair of me.”
“No.” She shook her head. “It was a fair question, and one I’ve asked myself millions of times. He had some kind of sick hold on me.” She sighed. “You’re right. I need to get some help. Roy gave me the name of his therapist—the one who helped him remember what he saw over a decade ago. I was thinking I wouldn’t call her. But maybe I will.”
“I’ll go with you if you want me to.”
“I’d like that.” She smiled hesitantly. “I’d really like that.”
The next day, after holding Riley all night and nursing a nasty case of blue balls, I went with her to meet with her brothers at the Wolfe Building.
“Can he be trusted?” Reid, the blue-eyed brother, asked.
“Fuck off, Reid,” Rock said. “If Riley trusts him, that’s good enough for me.”
“And me,” Roy agreed.
“He’s the man I love,” Riley said, “and if you want to know how wonderful he is, he took care of me last night. He didn’t lay a hand on me.”
My cheeks warmed, and I wished she’d shut up. Our personal life was our personal life, but I understood the point she was trying to make. I didn’t take advantage of her when she was a mess.
“That’s more than you’d have done, Reid, with a woman in a similar situation,” Rock said snidely.
“Fuck off, Rock.” From Reid.
“Both of you fuck off,” Roy said. “Let’s bring Matt up to speed.”
I sat, my jaw nearly on the table in front of me, as Rock relayed everything.
Everything.
He’d tried to kill his father to protect Riley.
He got sent away.
Roy and Reid—mostly Reid—got the shit beat out of them.
They were jealous of Riley’s princess trips.
Until Rock told them what really went on during those trips.
How they’d wished she’d told them so they could stop it.
How they wouldn’t have been able to stop it no matter what.
And then Roy’s buried memory.