by Pamela Ann
Set her free…
How?
My chest tightened to the point where breathing became a difficult task. Not knowing what to do, I burrowed my face into her neck, memorizing her smell. Her chest quaked against mine as she silently cried.
“Since you’ve already made up your mind, I can’t force you to stay with me. I’ve held you down, fought you every time just so I could keep you. But this isn’t what I envisioned my future with you to be like, Gisele. You’ve had one foot out the door, biding for the right moment to eject me for good. We both know you’ve been trying to get away from me for quite some time now, and as much as my heart, my mind, and body repels the thought of losing you, I have to do the right thing this time.
“You are your own woman, and if I can’t make you happy, then there’s nothing I could do to alleviate the problem. But I do want to clarify some things. Yes, I gifted her a home. Since I had informed you about her, moving her closer to me made perfect sense because my punishing schedule prevented me from seeing her as often as I liked. And you’re right, I was drawn to her partially because she reminded me so much of Paige. Somehow, I had felt back then that I was actually trying to revive the same feelings as well, but it never happened. It didn’t take long until I realized why.
“The baby—her mad idea came about while we were having sex. After leaving you, I would see her sloshed and out of my mind drunk, and as harsh and unfeeling as this may seem to you, I just wanted a body to fuck. It didn’t matter what I agreed on so long as she let me into her body. I’d wake up the next day and squash the idea, but the same thing happened during night time. I drank myself into a stupor so I could drown you out of my thoughts, and it also helped to stop me from driving back to you, past caring if Rinaldi was enjoying your body, a body that should’ve been mine. You promised was mine. Everything shifted for me that night.
“I’m not making excuses for my past actions. They are what they are. I’m not perfect. I’ve made countless mistakes where you are concerned. To be quite frank, I honestly had no clue how to deal with my riotous feelings for you, and I admit I’m not proud of how poorly I handled it. I’m sorry for all the grief I’ve caused you.” The heavy-laden weight in my chest delved deeply into my soul. The despair and senselessness were almost unbearable. It felt as though death itself was breathing down on me, slowly suffocating me. “Whatever you need, whatever you wish, just say the word and it’ll be yours. My lawyers will grant you everything.” Slowly, gently, I lifted my face off her neck before my lower body withdrew from hers, retreating, then strictly staying to my side of the bed.
Gisele remained mum. I supposed she had said her piece, and there was nothing left for her to say. Drilling holes into the ceiling, I was left paralyzed as I listened to her soft sobs. For a grave hour, I endured the eviscerating agony of drowning in her cries, and the second it died down, I died along with it.
“Jared?”
My heart thudded, revived at the sound of her calling out to me. Had she changed her mind? “Yes?” I responded in a measured tone as hope slowly flourished within me.
“When the time comes, do you promise to teach me and take me under your wing once I’m ready to work for the company?”
There you had it. If I needed any other confirmation, this was it.
Pressing my temple, I heaved out. “Of course, I’m always going to be here for you, Gisele.”
“Thank you.”
The headache turned into a full-scale migraine. Sleeping was out of the question. Everything in me hurt, and as much as I wanted to prolong parting with her, if I didn’t get out of this bed, I might suffer a heart attack. Tensing, I mustered enough courage to shift my body and sought her for the last time. Her back faced me, and I was quite relieved that I didn’t have to look her in the eye.
Pressing my lips to the base of her neck, I breathed her scent once more, and for a brief moment, all the pain left me, only to return once my nose left her skin. “I love you, kitten.”
Gisele froze as she heard the words out of my mouth. I didn’t say it to change her mind. I did it for me.
Sliding out of bed, I rapidly scoured the closet for clothes, and in less than a minute, I was dressed with my keys in hand. Gisele knew I was leaving her, but she didn’t even turn around, utter a peep. She just carried on ignoring me. I stood a few feet away from the bed, willing her to turn around, to say something—anything—to keep me from leaving, but none came.
“I’ll have my things out of the house once I’ve purchased a home in the area. So, I’ll leave you be. Take care, okay? I know security does a good job keeping a close eye on you, so I won’t be doing any of that. Just—I…” My voice got stuck in my throat as emotions seized me, preventing me from speaking. Biting down on my lip, I longingly glanced at her form before turning around and heading straight to the door and out of her life for good.
I’d lost the most important thing in my life. As much as it pained me to admit the truth, Gisele had never wanted to stay, and I couldn’t go on wondering when she’d hurl the word divorce again.
Gutted, I drove to the Four Seasons, checking in for the next month since going home to my house in Pacific Heights was out of the question. With the obliterating migraine threatening to explode in my brain, I was glad the concierge provided me some pain reliever before I drowned myself in a bottle of cognac. I drank it all to the very last drop.
I went to work slightly drunk, but I needed to occupy my mind with work. And true to her word, my lawyers blasted my phone about the impending divorce. I simply commanded them to give her whatever she wanted. If she wished to take me to the cleaners, go right on ahead. I didn’t care anymore.
My day was already in the shitters, and when my phone rang and flashed Rose’s name, I shut it off completely. A man could only endure so much pressure before folding, and I’d rather invest all of my energy into work than dwell on my unfortunate misery of losing Gisele all over again.
I was sure she’d be seeking Wyatt once again. She might even have him back on our bed by tonight. The very thought of it made me want to murder them both.
Furious at the world, I punishingly worked until midnight before going back to the hotel to try to sleep. I hadn’t had shuteye in the last thirty-six hours, but the moment I tried, my body became restless, so I drank another bottle, numbing me completely. Drunk and surprisingly aroused, I palmed my cock as I recalled her tight sinuous body and how it eagerly responded to me. Even on our last night, her hate couldn’t prevent her from opening her wanton body to me. The soft choking cry she had made each time I went past her barrier brought more blood rushing into my manhood. I vividly pictured her with my eyes shut, plunging deeper as I took her willing cunt to do my bidding…We were like a wildfire—fiery and consuming, burning unchecked.
My wanton wife…
“Gisele!” I screeched, viciously jerking my length before I pettily came into my hand. The immediate feeling of senselessness enveloping me right after twisted darkly into the very fiber of my soul.
FUCK.
I wasn’t daft. I understood the gravity of my actions, and I was quite certain Rose had done her best to deliver the news with a blunt blade, prolonging Gisele’s misery. But all of this had happened before she and I had decided to be together. Surely, she could make some concession in regard to the blatant fact? I dreamed of her taking me back, that my phone would randomly get a call with her begging for me to come home. It had made me relatively delusional.
Not only did my heart yearn for the woman but also the sense of belongingness washing over me, the sense of completeness coming home to her. It was what I missed the most.
But it was all gone, and quite predictably, I was left to pick up the fragments of a shattered shell of a life.
Our impending divorce was in the works. It was like a black ominous cloud hovering in the distance. A bone-chilling cold wind gusted through me, a warning of a storm brewing ahead. It gradually closed in on me. Slowly. Steadfastly. And upon its men
acing arrival, it would pull me down until I was stripped of all I came to be, all that I was. It would rob me of my love and whatever else I valued. It would drown me in every way possible. She’d be unforgiving, heartless, and cold.
Gisele was passionate in nature with equal strengths of ice and fire. When the fire dissipated, the cold settled. She burned ice. It would match her glacial frosty eyes that reminded me so much of a chilling winter dusk—barren to the naked eye but with underlying force hidden below their surface. She’d consume me unapologetically.
With Gisele’s unconcealed animosity towards me, it didn’t take a genius to grasp how she’d be. But alas, I had wronged her, and I was willing to pay the price of my misjudgments.
After all, the woman held the cards to my completeness, and she knew it, too. Lock, stock, and barrel.
Chapter 33
Jared
A WEEK LATER
My downcast eyes were fixed on the threatening papers splayed before me. My soon to be ex-wife had just entered my lawyer’s conference room before ceremoniously situating herself right across from where I sat as her bevy set of hotshot lawyers followed her trail.
“Jared, it good to see you,” said the woman whom I chose to ignore completely.
My jaw locked. My will unbending. My mood menacing. Every inch of me wound tightly. My miserable self wasn’t ready to battle and hammer this negotiation to my benefit. When I had vowed to give her everything she wanted, no holds barred, I had meant every word spoken out of my bitter lips.
In the background, I was faintly aware both opposing parties began to list their conditions.
When one of Gisele’s blasted lawyers tried to address me, I granted him the same courtesy as I had with his client, which briefly shut him up.
With one glance upon my menacing demeanor, one didn’t have to guess how much I loathed being here. Had it not been for my team of lawyers ceaselessly insisting my forlorn appearance was vital to sit here, I would not be. They had successfully argued since there was so much wealth and assets involved, and they feared something would go amiss. And as they irately stated for the umpteenth time, they simply needed this last leg of negotiations to wrap up so we could proceed as efficiently as possible. So, I tuned out both of our lawyers, wishing I were anywhere else but here.
There was no mistaking that my top lawyer, Mr. Cologne, wanted to secure most, if not all, of my wealth. I’d been his client for years, and he seemed quite territorial when protecting my assets. He boldly mentioned his adverse opinion when I reminded him about prenuptial agreements. As much as I despised to be proved wrong, he had every right to voice his unabashed view of the arrangement. Therefore, here we were, proceeding as scheduled.
“Lastly, Miss Weber refuses to sign her board member privilege to exclusively vote for Mr. St. James in the foreseeable future due to…the obvious impending circumstances.”
Cologne cleared his throat.
“Mr. St. James, will you contest her condition?” My esteemed lawyer leaned close to me, irritation and agitation bouncing off of him.
Without glancing at him, I remained stoic. Unperturbed. “Go ahead.”
Cologne wasn’t having it. The fifty-five-year-old man pulled himself closer to me, to the point where his stale coffee breath hit my senses, much to my disgust. “Sir, with all due respect, snap the fuck out of it! This is your life—your bread and butter. You’ve worked your fucking ass off for this company. You can’t honestly just fucking hand it all to her. Peter wouldn’t approve of this, and you know it!” he furiously hissed, sweating profusely as his pallor turned as red as a plump tomato.
Clearing my throat, I raised my eyes to look at the woman sitting across from me. It caught her off guard. “If Gisele wishes to vote me out of her father’s company, that’s her right. Like I stated before, just give the woman what she needs, and let’s be done with it. I have better things to do than deal with petty squabbles. I’m quite ready to sign off my life’s work if it means I get to walk out of here in the next minute.”
The entire room ceased, all eyes trained on me.
“What will you do? This is your life’s work!” Cologne sure seemed to look like he was about to drop dead any second now.
“I’m to return home. I’ve already bought land. So, no need to fret for me.” I had anticipated this. Gisele was on a vengeful path, and she would hit where it hurt me the most. But I was done playing her games. If she wanted to vote in David Berg, then she could have at it. She knew what her father wanted; she didn’t need to be reminded of that.
“Gentlemen, I need a moment to speak to Mr. St. James.” Gisele unwaveringly pierced me with her stormy crystal-like eyes. “Now!” she bellowed, her voice echoing within the room before the scrambling men scattered and dissipated, exiting the heavy double oak doors. There was no mistaking that from the men’s tense forms, they were quite relieved to be temporarily dismissed.
Apathetic, my blank stare didn’t flicker away from her as the doors shut. With just her and me boldly glaring at each other, I mused how long it would take for her to blow her gasket. Noting the tumultuous blistering way she was gazing at me, I’d give her a minute, maybe two, tops.
Severe cerulean blues drilling into her, I daringly arched my brow as if to taunt her, as if to goad her to break the continuing battle of silence—of prides, of wills—she and I were embroiled in.
“You’re planning on leaving?” she shrieked as she placed her palms on the polished table, pushing up to her full height.
She wore a cream suit but had sacrificed any use of brassiere. A long gold chain grazed the valley of her breasts and torso. The fitted skirt skimmed her figure. If she was aiming for demure and pristine, the woman had miserably failed. Her arse looked obscene from this angle. One didn’t have to wonder at the type of view it gave from behind. She was beautiful, and she knew it, too. The woman had found her purpose, merely using her beauty, her sexuality as a weapon to any man. More importantly, to the man she wished to erase from her life. There was no trace of softness in her. She was just as I anticipated—ever so calculating, heady with the idea of pulling one over on me.
“Have you gone deaf, too?”
My jaw locked. Her shrilling and hollering wouldn’t get her anywhere. Engaging her was out of the question. Gisele had sashayed in here with all the intentions of a fight. Her claws were out. She craved conflict, to draw blood, to punish me in any way possible. Giving in would merely fuel the flames, and Christ, the woman was scorching. She was a blazing inferno. She salivated for a fight, and little old me wasn’t going to grant her one.
“Fucking answer me!”
A week and she was about to come apart at her hinges. In another week, she’d continue her scathing pilgrimage of trying to hurt me. The inner workings of her loathsome mind were predictable. She didn’t know how to handle it, so she lashed out. No words, no actions could ever fix the damage I had caused her. And for that, I’d forever regret it.
Dragging my sight away from her, I impassively got up from my chair and strode towards the glass wall, frowning as I stared out at the stunning San Francisco afternoon skyline before me. Guilt, bitterness, anger, frustration blocked my view from appreciating the beauty. “Fighting is pointless when there’s nothing else to fight about. I vowed to give you whatever you wanted, and I have—I am. Let’s leave it on that note, Gisele.”
“You’re going back to Australia. Is it because you’re afraid you’ll run into me if you stayed around town with Rose and your new baby in tow?” she disdainfully spat. “She’s pregnant, isn’t she? She’s carrying your child!” her hateful tirade continued. “Oh, I get it!” She snapped her fingers, as if something brilliant had just occurred to her. “You aren’t fighting me because your dead wife’s lookalike is pregnant with your baby, and you plan to marry her. Am I right or am I damn right?”
My, she was on a roll today. Still, I persisted, unengaged. I was done fighting her. Quite exhaustively done fighting for her. Grim, my hands slipped i
nto my tailored Dolce suit, prepared to close this chapter of my life as I spun to face the woman I had fallen in love with. “If you have nothing else of substance to spew, let’s call the lawyers back in. Let’s not waste each other’s time more than we already have.”
She scoffed. “I’m wasting your precious time now, is it?”
My nostrils flared, my bridled temper teetering. “This is what you wanted. You have everything you wished for, everything your cold heart desires, so if you’re done fuming, let’s wrap this up so we can get back to our jolly old lives and be done with it!”
She speedily struck my cheek, determined as ever to undermine my resolve.
Seething, my lips pressed together as I contained myself. “Lay a hand on me again, and I'm going to choke the living daylights out of you!”
She barely gave me a second before her blasted palm hit me again. She did. She bloody did!
“You wretched woman!” I thundered out as my hand curled, gripping her throat while I pinned her against the wall. “You vengeful, miserable cunt! What the bloody hell is wrong with you!” Obvious disdain strained all over me as I furiously spat at her. “You're rousing for a fight, and I refuse to give you one, so you choose to fucking hurt me!”
Her chin proudly tilted as she squirmed from my hold. “Hurt you? Am I not the one you lied to, cheated on during the entire time you were married to me?”
Son of a gun. Was she under the influence of some hallucinogen? Because this wasn’t lucid thinking. “I never cheated on you!”
“The hell you didn't! And that bitch gets to have it all!” she callously roared. “I'm going to ruin you. Mark my words, you're going to regret ever fucking with me!”
I tightened my hold just enough to lessen her breath before easing it again. The only time I dared to hold her in such a way was when I was inches deep in her drenched cunt. “Do what you must, Gisele, if it helps you sleep at night.”