by Pamela Ann
Immediately, I found him sitting behind his desk, still engrossed in a phone conversation. I entered his domain with loud commotion so he knew I was here, glaring at him. He chose to completely ignore me and pretended I wasn’t breathing the same air.
“Don’t be rubbish, of course I do.” He was grinning from ear to ear, pleased. “You’re perfect. I’ll see you tonight. Same time, yeah?” He paused, presumably because his chit was spouting something arousing to his senses, before he added, “Splendid. I look forward to it.”
I watched his face light up from speaking to her, aghast at witnessing him flirt his way with another woman on the phone. I felt small and irrelevant. —I knew it was a her not a him on the other end because he was not the kind to mess about on the other side of the field.
Adding more salt to my injury, I came to realize that what had occurred between us might not have meant anything other than his usual fucks. I had been partially convinced that, though he spouted hate and extreme loathing, a part of him would still remember the golden days and how magical it had been between us. However, as the seconds ticked away, I was starting to think otherwise.
Well, if that was the case, then I wouldn’t let him see how much it affected me, because that would only make him feel superior, knowing he had accomplished what he had sought out to do—hurt me the deepest he possibly could.
None of this mattered any longer, anyhow. I was here to confront him about the lies he had strung along for years. It wouldn’t even surprise me if he watched me suffer from afar, flourishing and basking in my own tormented misery, while he built his company and did what he had been determined to do—becoming powerfully rich.
My sights deadlocked on him just as he lifted his gaze to finally meet mine, seeming unfazed.
“You’re not one to pay heed with warnings, are you, Ava? You better have a very good reason to seek me out this time. I meant what I told you the other night; I don’t ever want to see you again.” He casually leaned back against his chair before bringing his legs up on the side of his desk, resting atop of each other while he lazily gazed at me. “I hope that brings my point across loud and clear?”
“You lied to me!” I flung my accusation in the air before I marched towards his desk, giving him a pointed look. “My father—how did you convince him to do such a thing to me?” My knuckles were white as I dug my nails inside my palms, feeling as powerless as a hopeless pawn in a world full of selfish men who had agendas only to benefit their causes.
“That’s a little harsh, don’t you think? Besides, I haven’t lied to you.” He shrugged, looking bored. “Maybe you should take this temper tantrum to your father. You know … since this is a family affair, after all.”
His obvious nonchalance made me ground my teeth together. I had expected more reaction than this apparent boredom. How dare he make light of this when I felt like my world just went crashing to smithereens? Everything I had thought and believed my father was all became a blur in a matter of seconds.
“I’m surprised you’re even here. I’d think your father would be the one to tell you—” He paused, eyeing me suspiciously before frowning. “If it wasn’t your father, then who told you?”
His manner seemed downright disrespectful, his voice laced with sarcasm and suspicion, like I was highly contaminated, and whatever I did or say wouldn’t redeem me in his eyes. It was all there, blatantly written on his scornful albeit handsome face. His eyes felt like they were skinning me raw, as if he was taking me apart, piece by piece so I would be defenseless and cower like I was supposed to have done after he had disdainfully treated me like I was some cheap tart.
One would expect I would be numb from it all. Needless to say, his evident contempt simply magnified the ache that was gutting me alive.
“I just barely found out …” I trailed off, feeling parched due to the fact that I couldn’t seem to cohesively think when he was giving me an intense expression, as if deep in thought. Licking my lips, I started to take a small gasp of air to loosen the tightened feeling around my chest. I felt as if he was suffocating me by merely existing. “Ashton … Uh, Ashton flew in this morning and told me about it. Then I immediately came here to confront you.”
His eyes became slits, piecing together the puzzle that was my life. “Ahhhh, did he now…?” He gave a nod before making a “tsk-tsking” sound that reminded me of an adult being disapproving of a child. “The mighty husband is here to save the day,” he murmured with utter derision. “Does he know that his beautiful, loving bride was fucking around with another man’s dick?” Taunting, he slowly made his way out, circling around his desk before half-sitting on it, arms folded and his face exhibiting great disappointment. “Marital bliss, is it all that it’s cracked up to be, Ava?”
His mockery of me was reaching my capacity. As much as I had previously endured his maltreatment, I was now endangered of snapping my overburdened patience. “Maybe you should try it yourself, Reiss, since you seem so curious about it.” It was the first time I had used his real name, and I must say that saying it aloud made me feel all the more nostalgic about the past.
He shrugged. “Marriage … I just might. If the right woman comes along, then why not?”
Lovely. Just what I needed to hear—not.
“If you’re done throwing daggers and making a mockery out of my miserable life, can we move along? I still have a lot of questions to ask of you.”
“Why, Ava? Did one of the daggers finally manage to prick your fine porcelain skin?”
Nostrils flaring, I threw my hands in the air. “You know what? I can’t bloody deal with your childish need for revenge because I have far more important things to do than listen to you rambling and spouting blasted bloody nuisance about clear pettiness and small victories.”
“You have far more important things to do,” he murmured, thinking out loud just as he made a big nod, as if the light had just turned on in his brilliant mind.
“I bloody do!” I sounded just as I truly felt, depleted after being completely, emotionally objectified by this loathsome rat.
He appeared confused, as though he couldn’t wrap his puny brain around it. “Like what?”
I wanted to hurl my purse at the blasted jerk. “You ought to be joking, surely?”
He shrugged, unperturbed. “You’re a bored housewife, and your husband just flew in to see you.” He was deep in thought. “Funny, ‘cause I have this hunch that this wasn’t a coincidence. Don’t tell me you told your loving husband that you let another man shag you senseless while he called you his whore?”
That completely broke the little patience I had left.
Like a rocket, my body shot towards him, aiming for his cheek and gloriously connecting with my palm. “I am no one’s whore, not Ashton’s and surely not yours—never yours.”
His eyes clouded with barely any of his emerald greens showing as they thunderously sliced me in to two while he brought his face a hairsbreadth away from my own. “Vicious, aren’t we today, Ava? Why so catty when I’m only speaking the truth?” he sneered as he took my breath away. “Is your memory faulty? Because, from what I can recall, you kept screaming into my ear that, in fact, you are mine to do as I please, that no man has ever made you feel the way I do when I fuck you. You sobbed the words into my ears as you begged me to come inside of you. Don’t you remember any of that?”
Images of us naked shifted my focus. Did I really say any of that? Maybe, maybe not. I mean, I was so out of it I could have prayed in French, and I wouldn’t have noticed. Confused, my rebuttal was lost as the picture of us rutting together wreaked havoc on my already confused way of thinking.
“You look lost, love. My cock must’ve done quite a splendid job, eh?” His eyes sparkled as he brazenly cupped my breast with his right hand. “If you came here for a repeat, I could grant you that wish.” The sensation he was making was muddying my common sense while his other hand reached down to gently rub my pussy with his fingers against the soft fabric of my jea
ns. “So sensual … so beautiful … especially when aroused.” His eyes lingered on my face, almost cherishing it. Almost. “Your body begs for my touch. It’s hungry for it.”
He was so wrong yet so bloody right about me always being hungry for him. I hated how he could mesmerize me without effort. Even though I had protested before, my body was eternally enslaved to him, much to my disdain.
“Tell me what you want,” he rasped out, hungry eyes adamant to devour me. “Do you want my cock to fuck you mad, princess?”
Princess, it was his terms of endearment for me, and the first time he had said it since we had met again after a decade.
When nostalgia hit you, it hit like it was hounding you to the grave. There was no escaping it.
Chapter 142
Ava
I was his and I acknowledged this with heartfelt concern, seeing as the man in question had inevitably changed from the sweet, loving guy I once had known to a man who had a heart of stone. With his persistence of wanting me to submit to him, it would’ve been easy to just throw caution to the wind and succumb to what my body had been longing. I knew I must resist, though, at least in respect of Ashton being in England.
I must fight his charms until divorce proceedings were initiated.
“Ashton’s here—I can’t … I’m sorry,” I regrettably rejected his advances, knowing it would truly disrespect Ashton and what I had vowed to protect. It was hypocritical of me to even contend such notions, but one sin committed was enough to weigh heavily on my shoulders while negotiating for my freedom.
My husband, knowing him well enough, wouldn’t easily let this go. He’d fight for me—I knew he would. He was simply wired that way. Even back then, when he learned I had taken another man and had given him a gift that was meant for him, he hadn’t batted an eyelash before telling me we were still meant for each other. I highly doubted his reaction would be any different than it had been a decade ago.
Reiss’s face darkened as he studied me in depth. “Did you let him touch you? Is that why you’re saying no?” Though it came out as a question, it sounded more like an accusation than anything.
Did I let Ashton, my husband, touch me? Apart from the insult that he was hurling at me, I was even more offended that he had the audacity in asking me the damn question.
As much as I wanted to hurt him for what he had done to me—walking out after he had used my body just to make a point—my past mistakes had hurt him. The thought cleared my senses, making me almost subdued.
“No, I wouldn’t disrespect you both that way. It’s callous of you to ask me that question, but no, I would never do such a thing—not even if I wanted to hurt you, Reiss.” My honest response almost shocked me. The old Ava would’ve basked in feeling victorious after lashing out in such a manner. I suppose one could truly say that the mistakes in the past had taught me well. They had taught me not to mess with something you couldn’t control, most especially when it came to him. I would never make that mistake again.
My answer left him wondering as he stared at me longer, still and frozen as we breathed simultaneously, caught in our own world of wonder.
“I came inside you—I forgot to ask, are you on the pill?”
His question not only took me off guard, it left me a little confused. I wasn’t sure if he was insinuating we continue our sexual fervors or if it was simply because he hadn’t meant for it to happen again and needed to tie loose ends, meaning me and what the consequences of that one hefty mistake could bring.
“I’m not. I stopped a few years ago.” I licked my lips as his gaze intensified before me, sparking passionate green. “We’ve been trying to get pregnant, and since I haven’t successfully conceived, I came to the conclusion that I’m barren, so if you’re worried about any consequences, you shouldn’t. Nothing will come out of it. I can guarantee you that.”
His gaze dropped low to my lips before he penetrated my soul once more, leaving me breathless. “How sure are you, Ava?” His tone was hard, harsh almost.
“Ninety-nine point nine percent. I’m that sure.” It was a shameful thing to admit that I lacked confidence in my body’s ability to do the very thing Mother Nature had set out for women to do. I supposed I would never really know, would I? Maybe it wasn’t in the stars for me. Sometimes people were made for other tasks, so maybe my calling hadn’t been written for me yet.
Thinking optimistically, I broke eye contact and brazenly touched his chest, applying enough pressure to put him at a good distance. “Now that we’re here,” I said, voice shaking as I gathered my bearings, gathered every atom in my body to bring me strength as I readied to pour my heart out, “I apologize for barging in here and interrupting your work day. You must understand the kind of shock I had after learning my father had played a role in hiding you from me. I was manic and didn’t eat for days after they couldn’t find your body among your friends’ remains. And, even though that was the case, they concluded that something must’ve happened to throw your body off somewhere upon or before impact, and they simply couldn’t find it. I should’ve known something wasn’t adding up, but since your parents weren’t saying anything, and with no one prodding for more answers, the case simply closed. I can’t even imagine how much money my father poured into making this go away just so I would stay away from you.”
I was ashamed of my parents, although most of all, I was embarrassed my mother had used her warped mind to twist my father into doing something so despicable. It wasn’t Reiss’s fault he had grown up impoverished. Besides, it hadn’t made him a bad person then.
“I can’t apologize enough for my parent’s involvement in this, but I want to tell you how much I regretted letting you go—” Breathe. I could go through this. I knew I could.
I couldn’t look at him, or I might falter and end up running away again, in fear that he’d laugh at my face. But I knew I should. I had to let this out, or I would be hounded by the ghost of him forever.
“I had no idea the depth and the capacity of that mistake until you vanished. I didn’t realize it then until later on, but even if I’m ten years too late, I feel that I must tell you, or I won’t ever move on from this guilt that’s been crushing me alive ever since I rumpled your world when I threw your love back in your face…
“Declining your proposal took everything in me. Little did I know then that I was actually in love with you, too. Thinking back, it is the only explanation I have for giving myself to you. I gave myself in a way I hadn’t to anyone else and not just in a physical sense. Nothing barred me; my mind consisted of you, and my heart had you in it.
“I was young and foolish, believing in things I had set out for myself, thinking the promise I shared with Ashton was true and meant to stay that way. Back then, I believed you were someone to have fun with. Falling in love with you wasn’t part of that plan, but I was proven wrong.” I took a deep breath, gathering more strength. “I’m sorry I’ve caused you so much pain, and I’m sure, even though you’re quite successful now, you’ve lost quite a lot along the way.”
“Self-respect…” I barely made out what he said.
Blinking at him, I frowned. “I beg your pardon?”
“Self-respect, that’s what I sacrificed,” he easily provided without emotion. “You’re confession is truly irrelevant. I couldn’t care less about what you felt then, and I couldn’t care less what you feel now.” He pierced me to the core, but he wasn’t done disarming me. “Your selfishness led to other peoples’ demise. Your cowardice back then and your bravery for telling me all these irrelevant details now might seem like it would change the world for you, but it won’t do a bloody thing to mine. You are nothing except a selfish brat! You don’t know what it’s like to be a hopeless pawn in someone else’s game or how it feels to be openly rejected by someone you claimed to love. You know nothing of the kind of hell I have been through!”
“Reiss—” I gulped in between pants. “I said I was sorry for everything.”
“I don’t want
your petty sorry, Ava!” he roared, making me shiver. “I don’t want anything from you. I fucked you to prove a point, but don’t get it into your puny, little simpleton head that I want more than that. That one fuck was enough to sober my senses—that you’re nothing good other than in bed. You’re spoiled and selfish. No decent man would want anyone like you.”
He was vindictive, but I’d had no clue how far he’d go to eviscerate me until then—until he truly marred everything I treasured most.
I wasn’t sure how I got the nerve to still live and breathe after his hurl of insults, but I somehow managed to function. Silly didn’t cover how I felt at my heart-poured confessions about the past. Nothing mattered to him it seemed; therefore, I should take my spoiled and selfish self away from his disapproving, superior goodness.
“I guess there’s really nothing left to be said between us, is there?” I made a dry laugh, feeling more vulnerable than at any other time in my life. “Again, I apologize for interrupting your day. I’ll see myself out.” Straightening myself, I started to move away while he remained expressionless.
“I wish you all the best, Ava.”
See, that was the problem. Why couldn’t he just let me leave without adding more to my injury? He wished me all the best? What an asinine thing to say after what he had just hurled.
“Save your wishes for the dead, Reiss. I sure as fuck don’t need them,” I shot back as I walked away, vowing never to seek him out again.
Before walking out of his office, I heard the loud, thunderous roar of his laughter, bringing melancholy to my once revived heart. It had barely survived from the moment he’d decided to crush all the hope that had sprung from his lovemaking. There was nothing left now except the future.
Without Reiss or Ashton, maybe it was the beginning of the end.
Chapter 143
Reiss