by Pamela Ann
“You’re not getting my point, Ava! Just for a second, please, just listen to me.” Pressing my temples, I pulled myself together and sat up on the bed, somewhat slouched as I blindly stared into the ocean of comforters and sheets. “I want this to work. I don’t want some complicated relationship with you that’s based on an agreement and nothing more. I’m trying to tell you that I want a marriage— a real one—with you.” I suddenly felt nervous when she didn’t respond; however, I didn’t glance back, needing courage to finish what I had to say before facing her and what she thought of it. “I want a family, maybe a couple more kids after this little bun. Marriage has always been on my mind, although I never really thought it would happen since I paid little attention to making it happen before.
“What I told you at The Savoy about me telling the woman I loved to wait because she was who I wanted to marry … it was all a lie. I made that up to somehow build a protection around me, and at the same time, for you not to have any designs other than what we’d agreed upon. I was in the wrong to that because, you see, I had underestimated your power over me.
“I should’ve taken a lesson from the past—it would be an impossibility for me to ever resist you, Ava. Apart from the brilliant chemistry between us, we also have this bond that I’ve shared with no one else. I’m comfortable with you. I can be myself without having to always worry about my partner accusing me of being neglectful. We enjoy each other’s laughter as much as we enjoy our joined silence while we simply drift into our own worlds.
“I have no doubt in my mind that you’re going to be a splendid mother. I also have no reservations that you will do everything in your power to keep us both—the child and I—happy in your care and in our home. You have this calming energy about you that lulls my troubles away. Maybe it’s simply how much you represent one of the happiest times of my life. But none of it matters if you don’t see a future for us, or anything past having the baby.
“Tonight … tonight, I realized how much I wanted you to be there, standing next to me. I actually pictured you whispering silly things or rather fun facts about the people we’d encountered. Your sense of humor is off beat, but I think it’s cute, and I want all of that. I want all of you.
“These past weeks have been nothing short of amazing, and I want this—us—to continue. I want us to be weathering all the good and the bad, hand in hand, as we tackle them together.
“Being with you made me realize how much I need you with me. You make me feel as if I’m truly living. For years, I have been living a lie, believing that everything was perfect and nothing would ever crumble the world I had made for myself, but you came along and proved me wrong. You appeared out of nowhere, just as you had that first time, and effortlessly took my breath away.
“I’m not perfect, nor do I want to be. I have the oddest tendency of being a bastard and unapologetically irrational when jealous. Also, I have the hardest time trying to put my emotions into words, which must tell you how difficult of a journey it was for me to get to the point where I can openly tell you I want this to work, forever if you’re willing.
“I’m sure you already know that you didn’t marry a saint, but I can give you my word that I’m loyal, and I’ll be your greatest advocate, to cheer you on when you’re feeling blue or when your mother decides to grace us with her superiority. I’m going to be here, next to you, holding you because you and I are a unit.
“I also can’t promise that, along the way, I won’t let you down a time or two, and I hope, when that time comes, you won’t give up on me, because even though I know I can be a stubborn fool, I won’t ever leave you. So, to save us both the argument and screams, I’m giving you an advanced warning where that’s concerned.”
I took a moment, recalling everything. “The past made us who we are today, and even though it was a turning point in my life, I didn’t ever regret loving you. True, I hated you on sight, but that all stemmed from rejection, amongst other things. But I have moved past that, setting it aside, and all the emotional baggage I have harbored is gone. I won’t ever forget what it did to me, but it’s time to bury the hatchet and move forward.”
Letting myself look at her, I shifted to fully face her before gathering both of her hands with mine, holding on to them to show her how much I meant all of this. “I care about your happiness, and if you think or doubt for a moment that I’m not the man to give you the kind of joy you’re seeking from a partner, then I’ll gladly step away and let you go, though reluctantly, of course.” Seeking her eyes, I held my breath as I read her eyes, hoping they could clue me in on how she would respond.
“Reiss, I appreciate you telling me this. In fact, you spilling all of those pent up emotions enlightened me as to what you have been going through. But, for the past weeks, haven’t you listened to a word I’ve told you?” She frowned as she made a small shake of her head, as if she couldn’t believe how clueless I was. “Men!” she ferociously exclaimed before giving me the evil eye.
“When I said I loved you, it meant that I’m here for as long as you want me, for as long as you need me. It might sound tragic to some, but I don’t have any pride or ego left, because for ten years, I’ve used it all up. And, now that I have you in the most unconventional ways, I’m willing to make this opportunity work, one way or the other. So, when I say I love you, you shouldn’t think that I will walk away because you’re acting like a bloody fool or the complete insufferable prick that you can truly be at most times … because that’s the thing, I love you even when you’re being such a dastardly bastard.
“I love you in all of your moods and colors. I’ve come to love you, Reiss, not all these grand trappings you can provide, though I admit it’s rather impressive. It’s you that I want, not what you represent.” A tiny smile played on her lips, her eyes glowing with love. “I love you as Reiss, and I love you as Craig, although I love you even more being Craig Reiss Chambers because this man came into my life, turning it upside down, blazing into it with little care for consequences. Though he was resistant in the beginning, our connection was too deep to be ignored. I knew…I just had to wait for the right time that he’ll realize that this time…I’m here to stay.” She smiled. “I had to do a little extra digging to find out what was the connection between the names…money could really be useful sometimes when trying to unlock someone’s past.”
Well, knowing how she worked, I wasn’t even surprised that she went above and beyond to figure this one out without asking me. Typical Ava.
“I—” I cleared my throat, partially grinning. “So, does that mean you’re staying to be my wife? I’m not sure if you heard, but I stated that I wanted to be married forever, and that’s a rather long time. If you change your mind twenty years down the road, you’d have a better success rate at plotting my demise than getting a divorce from me, so you should think long and hard, princess.”
Rolling her eyes, she snorted before taking me down so I was atop her pliant body. “If you’re trying to scare me away, you better do a better job since this rather laughable attempt is too poor of one to be taken seriously.”
I barked a laugh at her comment, grinning from ear to ear before I nuzzled her neck, breathing her in. I felt my body sag against her, already intoxicated by her nearness. This feeling of contentment, this simple sort of happiness, made everything worthwhile. My doubts were cast aside. My mental state was clearer than ever. My heart was creaking its door open slowly. And, as for the rest, I knew what Charlotte had said was true—I wasn’t worthy of her daughter, although I would try forever.
While I was lost in the fluffy haze of my imagination, Ava shifted a bit so her lips were close to my ear. “I have something on my mind that may indirectly affect you,” she informed me in a hushed tone, making me alert and suspicious in a second’s time.
Hating to be parted from my comfortable nook, I frowned at her. “Go on?”
“I was told by numerous women in one of my yoga classes that my breasts would eventually lose a
little gravity after childbirth. What happens then? I’m sure you would not be fond of that, and would rather have the rubbery, borderline on softness tits.” She did appear like this was troubling her, which only made her all the more adorable in my eyes.
Using a serious tone, I looked her straight in the eye. “Bloody hell, Ava, do you honestly think I’m that shallow of a man? You’re pregnant with my child, and it’s one of the grandest things any woman could give to a man. I don’t bloody give a damn about tits losing gravity or trails of stretch marks because your skin had to stretch far and wide to cater to my daughter or son. Hell, I’d take on an extra twenty pounds, or fifty, or a hundred, for that matter, if that’s what you’re trying to get at.” I meant every single word, too. I wasn’t toying around with her.
She instantly appeared perplexed, aghast at my suggestion. “Fifty? A hundred? Are you implying that you want me to look like a buffalo?”
Hell. I wouldn’t have minded, one way or the other. Was that so difficult to comprehend? “Buffalo or whatever, you’d be beautiful in all shapes and sizes.”
That seemed to have mellowed her a little. I began to pay homage to her delectable breasts that were soon to lose their gravity—or so she claimed—kissing my way across them. She easily succumbed to my persistent kisses, and opened herself up to me. My cock sprang to life as I started to rub it against her, prolonging the sweet torture. Her kisses went from sweet to feverish, igniting the fire in my blood that only she set ablaze.
“Marry me again, Ava …” I said in between kisses, wanting a second chance at this. Our marriage.
“What?” She paused, eyeing me with scrutiny. “But we just got married!”
I shrugged. “I know, but I want a real one, with you wearing a beautiful gown, walking towards me to celebrate our future together.” It was a thought that had made me crazy mad back in our youth, and it was something I intended to happen. “I always dreamt of you in a wedding gown. It was just unfortunate that I saw you marrying someone else.”
“Oh, Reiss …” She reached out to me, holding me close to her chest. “If this is want you want, then I’d be more than willing to splurge your riches to have a wedding that’s too costly when it’s over and done with in a day.”
“If that’s the price I have to pay to see you in a wedding dress, then have a go at it, princess. My bank account is open for business.”
She tapped my shoulder with that cute, little pout of hers. “Now you’re just being cheeky.”
Well, since we are on that particular subject, let me emphasize, “I’m rather fond of cheeks. When your back is arched and your bottom’s thrusting upwards, legs parted just enough for me to see the glorious channels I could pleasure myself with … north and south, I worship thee and thy holy passages.”
Chapter 156
Reiss
“I’m sorry, but I can’t make it to you in time.” Ava was scheduled for a check-up, and as much as it pained me to cancel on her at the last minute, I simply couldn’t walk away when something critical had just come to my attention regarding one of the main accountants in the finance department. They had pointed out that someone was redirecting money, discreetly siphoning funds to an offshore bank account in Southeast Asia. It was something I couldn’t ignore.
“Are you sure you can’t handle it later on? This won’t take long; I promise it’ll be worth it. I really thought you’d love to see the baby for the first time since finding out about it.” Disappointment laced her voice, making me feel like a downright awful husband, one who couldn’t care less about our baby, though that was entirely untrue. They both mattered greatly to me.
I vowed to make amends, yet I knew cancelling on her at the last minute would most likely make her extra frustrated because she wanted me to go through the awe-like experience of seeing the baby on screen for the first time.
“Next time, I promise, or you can have my head chopped off by a butcher.” My light, jovial attitude merely evoked a regrettable sigh from her.
“You leave me no choice but to accept this, I guess. You really have to promise me that you’ll be there for the next appointment. I don’t like feeling this way, as if I can’t rely on you, Reiss.”
Her comment weighed heavily on me, making me think twice about my actions, just as Emily came through the door bearing folders that needed to be thoroughly examined. They contained documents and records that were hidden in a sub-file so they would be difficult to see by the financial department.
“Ava, I’ll explain everything when I see you tonight. I’m truly sorry that I can’t be there with you. You must know that I wouldn’t trade that for something less important, but this problem will most likely put my company in jeopardy if I don’t take care of it immediately,” I said, feeling helpless when I heard her sigh once more. “Text me updates? A photo or a video, perhaps? Also, please don’t forget to let me know that you’re back home. If I don’t pick up your call, I’d love for you to leave a message.”
“All right. I’ll see you tonight, then.”
I could easily see her pouting, which made me smile for no apparent reason.
“I’ll be seeing you, princess,” I murmured, hoping she was going to be okay without me.
After making a hasty goodbye, a team of four people came through the door, ready to discuss where to start with the investigation. They were talking about estimated figures stolen. Usually, when they said estimated, the real numbers tended to be triple digits, sometimes more. How could the department have managed to overlook this? Each year, they were given bonuses and gifts on top of their vacations, promotions if qualified, and whatever else they achieved. If the profits doubled, I made sure they got something out of that. I was a fair employer, and I believed people that worked hard deserved to be rewarded; subsequently, for someone to do this to me made it truly personal.
At around four-fifteen in the afternoon, a few phones started beeping. The team that was supposed to be focused on research and trying to get to the bottom of this problem while the company hackers tried to crack the security coded sub-files instantly started to murmur, looking mighty suspicious from where I was sitting.
“Does there seem to be a problem? Mind sharing your thoughts instead of whispering them to each other like a bunch of people trying to plot something?”
The younger man blushed before looking at me gravely. “There’s been an explosion somewhere in St. Regent’s Park, and another in Baker’s Street tube station. There is speculation that it’s a terrorist attack, but nothing’s been confirmed, sir.”
My body ran hot and then cold. Surely this couldn’t be another 7/7 attacks that left the city in a chaotic state. People had been in a shambles, mourning for all the lost lives and the city that they all loved. Then, another thought came, causing my heart to drop to my stomach.
“Do any of you happen to know how far Harley Street is from these locations?” I asked as fear settled in like a devil’s claw around my heart, squeezing it until I was out of breath. The exchanged looks didn’t settle the panic that was spreading like a virus inside of me.
The only woman amongst them took the liberty of using the internet to research the distance. Normally, I’d know the answer to this, but my mind couldn’t seem to function.
“It says it’s about three minutes walking distance, give or take. Given the situation and the massive traffic the area might be in at the moment, I’d say it’d take hours to even get through right now, if at all.”
Bloody fuck, I thought as I reached for my phone. When I saw it shake, I had to stop and take a moment to squeeze my hand shut while, at the same time, I was silently convincing myself that everything was going to be okay.
Christ, if something happened to Ava… No! Make the bloody call, my mind pressured me, willing myself to do something other than succumb to the fear that was influencing my entirety at the moment.
Anxiety attached like a leech, sucking the life out of me as I made the call. After the first ring, it immediately went
to voicemail. Hearing her cheery voice made me want to hurl the phone and weep with frustration. It didn’t help that I hadn’t received any messages or voicemails from her to tell me she was on her way home. It had been two hours since I had spoken to her. Surely the appointment was over and done with before this had happened, right?
Past caring about the odd glances the young team was giving me, I kept on trying to call her to no avail. Each time, I left a message, begging her to call me back.
I even made a call to the house, asking Alistair, the butler, if she was already home from the doctor’s. His response was negative, making my stomach even more like a pit of venomous snakes were swimming in it.
Ten minutes passed, and I dismissed the team because I simply couldn’t function with them giving me curious glances. The second they departed, I called Emily to the room.
“I’m sure you’ve heard about the news,” she immediately said before closing the door behind her.
“Yes. I have, and I need your assistance to locate someone.” Where did I even start with this? I was thinking all sorts of things at such a speedy rate I could barely concentrate with the headache that was splitting my head in to two. “I need you to call Scotland Yard and do what you must to find her. Heck, if they’re all busy, given the alleged attacks today, hire an investigator or someone who can help me find her in the least amount of time. Is that understood?”
“Crystal.” She nodded before cocking her head to the side. “And who is she, to be precise? I doubt anyone would take on the job with the description of her alone, sir.”
“My wife!” I almost barked at her. What the hell was her problem? She needed to scram and call someone to help me find her.
“You’re married?” She looked perplexed. “I still need a name, though…” she continued when I didn’t respond to her, merely giving her a death stare.