by Massey, Beth
At that word, Elizabeth blanched. For so long, all she had wanted was for him to acknowledge she was justified to desire retribution; but she had not expected to feel mortified that he might now be able to imagine her humiliation. Quickly lowering her eyes to avoid his probing gaze, she feared he would see her shame. It was unbearable that he might determine she had not fought, nor cried out; and had even helped by undressing. Elizabeth knew he expected her to speak, but her head remained bowed and her voice was barely audible as she said, “She left me alone, and Lord Wolfbridge came in. I tried to leave, but the door was locked.”
Darcy wished she would look at him. He found it difficult to relay the depth of his remorse with his voice. He wished he could hold her and whisper his apology, but he knew that was impossible. His voice trembled with great emotion as he stated, “My family treated you abominably. You had every right to be angry, seek revenge and ask for money. I have been intolerably rude to call you mercenary.” Richard’s words describing the petrified child praying for any opportunity to salvage the reputation of her sisters reverberated in his head. He sat down on the log at a respectable distance. Waiting was all he could think to do because he was out of words.
Elizabeth was certain she would never be able to tell anyone—especially Mr Darcy—the entirety of her ordeal. She was relieved Colonel Fitzwilliam had assumed the responsibility of the ugly disclosure to his ‘naive and witless’ cousin. An inappropriate giggle was choked back as she recalled their identical description, and resolved as she studied the ground, to move the conversation to their shared responsibility for hiding the truth. She and Mr Darcy had to protect Bethany… and Jane, Georgiana and Lydia… and even Lewis from scandal. All deserved the best life could offer.
After what seemed like hours, but was only minutes, she looked up at him and said; “I thank you for your apology. All I have ever wanted was for you to not think ill of me because I demanded money. As we have spoken of before, I have determined that it was a very unwise thing to do; though I still believe my action was just. You were not wrong to believe I felt coerced by Mrs Darcy to give up Bethany, and in many ways that has overshadowed her role in my… eh violation. Truth be told, the similarity between Bethany and myself would not be quite so suspicious if she had been raised as my cousin.”
Elizabeth grinned at him. “I do not believe Lady Catherine has discovered our secret. She only seems to notice things relating to her own consequence. But, you would not believe my panic after both Mary and Georgiana figured out my relationship to Bethany… the first day I arrived in Kent. You should know that both assumed you were her father, and she was the result of a dalliance between us. I was mortified that they would think us so wanton… a fifteen year-old and a married man. I had to tell them the truth.”
Elizabeth paused before she continued speaking. “Mary has told Mr Collins, and he has been quite supportive. He has developed a ferocity for defending my family that I would never have thought possible. You witnessed his defence last night with regards my sister and Mr Reynolds. I am surmising you told the Colonel.” Elizabeth looked reflective before she spoke again. “Once our bargain was made, I should not have left her the cross; Anne should not have named her Elizabeth, and who would have imagined she would have my eyes and hair.” Elizabeth laughed at Mr Darcy’s look of consternation. “Our sisters came up with the disguise. They were quite resourceful… were they not?”
Darcy was relieved they were reverting to teasing banter. He knew much had not been spoken, but he also sensed she was unable to reveal the details of her ordeal. He fell into her mood and said, “Yes, they were ingenious, but I find it frustrating seeing you this way.”
Without thinking, she reverted to flirting with him. Her look was coy as she said, “Which is the greater loss… my hair or my assets? Colonel Fitzwilliam seemed not to notice my diminished looks.” Elizabeth’s eyes twinkled as she added, “He is very charming. Are you certain we can trust him?”
Darcy fought back his jealousy. His reply was solemn. “You need not fear, Colonel Fitzwilliam despises his brother as much or more than you. He is in love with Lady Wolfbridge, and they had formed at attachment before she married. It seems the agony of losing Richard to war first caused her to waver in her constancy. Though Edmund knew of their mutual admiration, he still pursued her. We all know how charming he can be, and she eventually succumbed to his appeal. Eleanor had no idea how dishonourable he is until after they were wed. Her father was also very persistent in his persuasion. He wanted the prestige of having a daughter who was a countess.”
Elizabeth’s twinkle had been extinguished by his words, and her face reflected the guilt she felt about Lady Wolfbridge. “I should have told her father of the Viscount’s depravity. My fear for my own reputation has ruined two more lives.”
Darcy jumped to his feet and spoke forcefully. “You are not guilty! Edmund ruined all your lives; and according to Richard, her father would not have heeded your warning. You and your family saved Miss King. I was too wrapped up in my own jealousy—yes, I admit it, you were correct—and my resentment to give a fig for the inhabitants of Hertfordshire. When I read of your concern for Georgiana, I knew what a truly good woman you are, and my respect for you is without parallel among my acquaintances.”
He hid from her the knowledge that his desire to hold her and comfort her was also without parallel.
Darcy and Elizabeth agreed that morning in the grove that she would continue to wear her disguise in Lady Catherine’s presence. Darcy confirmed what Elizabeth already believed… his aunt rarely spent much time thinking about others, so it was doubtful she would notice the resemblance between her granddaughter and Elizabeth. Still, better to be prudent than provoke her wrath.
In the days that followed, the Hunsford and Rosings inhabitants, with the exception of Lady Catherine, spent many hours together. Once again, Elizabeth was reminded of a carefree time before… days spent with Jane, Charlotte, Becky… and Tom. There was much kite flying, singing, pianoforte and Irish whistle playing, storytelling, reading, twirling and jumping. The Colonel and Mr Collins were impressed with Elizabeth’s expertise with the bandelore, while Bethany and Lewis clamoured for her to teach them how to use it. What Lizzy relished the most was all the smiles, grins and the abundance of laughter that had returned to her daily routine.
Mary’s birthday was Tuesday, the 24th of March. The Hunsford party invited the guests at Rosings to celebrate with a picnic. Lady Catherine was invited, but declined after first chastising her nephews for spending so much time with her parson, his wife and her sister. She felt too much fraternizing with those beneath them was not the proper example for her grandchildren.
Mr Collins organized the festivities despite it being Holy Week. His sermon was ready for Easter Sunday. He and Mary had written it together. With the benefit of her skilful prose, it would be a very uplifting tribute to the hope of redemption that the season celebrated. Now he was free to enjoy his wife’s birthday to the fullest. Mr Darcy arranged transportation to the grove—which he and Elizabeth had become so fond. Mr Collins had already sent Rose, Millie and Gerard, one of Lady Catherine’s footmen, to the spot with baskets of cold meat, salads and Rose’s special cake studded with currants and redolent with almonds and rosewater. His special treat for the adults was several bottles of his own elderberry wine. It was known to deliver a kick, despite its sweetness.
When the party from Rosings arrived to collect the participants from Hunsford, Mr Collins asked all to descend from the conveyances for a brief delay. He wanted to show them his present to Mary. He directed them to the small heart shaped bed outlined with stones in the front garden. Growing inside was a mass of grape hyacinths spelling out “Mary.” He told how he had hurried back to Hunsford last fall, as soon as he became engaged, and planted the bed. He chuckled as he revealed that it had been very difficult to keep it a secret, and then, as by a miracle from God, they had popped their heads out of the ground just over a fortnight ago and were
now in full flower on this most wonderful of occasions. The entire assemblage could not believe what a romantic this man, so many had dismissed as Lady Catherine’s toadeater, had become. Bethany and Lewis begged him to plant their names for next Easter. With thoughts of the birth of his own child—he agreed.
Once in the grove, blankets were spread and pillows scattered. The food was passed and the wine was poured. After the meal, Mr Darcy initiated the giving of gifts by informing Mary that the pianoforte in the governess’ room was being moved to Hunsford today. It would be waiting for her in her private parlour—per Mr Collins’ instructions—when she returned home. If she preferred a different room, Mr Darcy informed her he would see that it was moved. Elizabeth gave her sister a beautiful cashmere shawl she had bought while in London. It was a mossy green in colour, and Mary could not believe the softness of the wool. Georgiana gave her dear friend a straw bonnet with ribbons that matched her new shawl. Lewis and Bethany had painted pictures for her with the help of Georgiana. Lewis had painted a pony, and Bethany had depicted one of the many cherry trees that were in bloom in the grove. Mary exclaimed she would look beautiful at Easter services, and would display the pictures in her private parlour. They would inspire her; and she would remember the dear ones who had drawn them, as she practised the pianoforte.
Again Mr Collins amazed those assembled by making flower wreaths for the ladies to wear. Elizabeth removed her bonnet and chose a circlet of violets and wild pansies, and then placed a matching one on the head of her daughter. Mr Darcy was moved by her simple gesture. Suddenly, he felt as if it was his birthday. The full impact of seeing Elizabeth without her disguise hit him. She was even more beautiful than he had dreamed, because those rebellious curls he so loved were escaping the pins holding them in place. Whenever Lady Catherine was not in attendance, she had begun forgoing the spectacles, and these last few days he had even seen those flecks of light shine from her eyes on several occasions.
The day was warm for March, and Lizzy, who was feeling both the sun’s rays and the wine, removed her shawl. She caught the Colonel grinning at his cousin’s reaction. Mr Darcy was feasting his eyes on the sight of her frock without a collar. To Lizzy his face reminded her of a child anticipating a sweet—it was a look that both pleased and frightened.
Elizabeth, Georgiana, Lewis and Bethany had practiced a recital for Mary and those at the picnic. They performed The Bells of London rhyme alternating the refrains.
As they neared the end, it was time for Lewis to say his one line. Unable to keep from giggling, he proclaimed quite loudly, “I do not know say the great bell of Bow.” They all concluded with “Gay go up and gay go down to ring the bells of London Town.”
The applause of their audience was great, and the Colonel yelled out “bravo” several times. Elizabeth noticed that Mr Darcy had a loving expression on his face for all the performers. The thought that ran through her mind was how often his face was displaying pleasure these days and what an improvement it was to that stony countenance he had so often worn while waiting for Bethany to be born.
Bethany and Lewis fell asleep between Lizzy and their father on one of the blankets. The rest of the group were scattered about the grove. Darcy was telling Elizabeth stories of their midsummer picnics. He tried to look very stern as he said, “Last summer, Bethany persuaded Lewis and Sian to take off their clothes, and only wear the wings attached to a harness the Countess had made for them. Bethany showed them the bookplate in the worn copy of the play my mother had given me as a boy. The picture depicted naked fairies, and Bethany insisted they must be accurate in their portrayal. They waited to make their entrance behind several bushes, and when it was time, the assembly gasped in a mixture of horror and amazement as they leaped out into view. I was mortified, but continued on with my lines. All I could think of was…”
Elizabeth interrupted him by saying. “I know… you wished at that moment you could give her back.”
Darcy laughed loud enough to cause Bethany to stir. He whispered, “Yes, something like that.” He noticed that the sparkle in Elizabeth’s eyes was replaced by a look of concern. He was not certain what had caused her distress.
She asked, “Was Lord Wolfbridge there?”
“No, Edmund was in Brighton, I believe.”
Soon after the adults noticed changes to the sky, and Mr Collins, who was a little tipsy pronounced, “From the heavens the Lord sends his lightning.” Mary laughed that spirits had unleashed her husband’s predilection for pretentious prose. Those assembled agreed with the parson that the Lord had indeed sent them lightning, and the rain could not be far behind.
They hurriedly packed up and headed for safety from the storm. Lizzy was in a curricle with Mr Darcy, Lewis and Bethany. In their hurry, she had not put on her shawl or bonnet, and her hair had slipped its moorings even more. Lewis was on her lap, and Bethany cuddled into her side. During the ride, the three fell asleep. In her slumber, Elizabeth nestled against Mr Darcy—Elderberry wine and fatigue having removed her inhibitions.
In that instant, Darcy absolutely knew, this was what he wanted. This time, nothing would keep him from his goal.
He drove first to Rosings, so Millie could settle the children in the nursery for a nap. Once awake, Elizabeth disengaged herself and sat apart from him, a look of chagrin in her eyes. The absence of her warmth left him feeling bereft.
From an upstairs window, Lady Catherine, observed her son-in-law’s arrival. She noticed his frequent glances at Miss Elizabeth’s bosom, and the daft smile he was wearing. He did not seem to be at all appalled by her unkempt hair.
Darcy was imagining that state which would allow her body to be next to his without fear of society’s disapproval. Now all he needed were the appropriate words and the courage to broach the topic.
44 OH, WHAT A DAY!
Elizabeth awoke the Monday after Easter with cramping due to her courses. She contemplated asking Rose for a hot water bottle and remaining in bed for the day but knew from experience, moving around would lessen the duration of her pain. Some blankets and pillows, as well as a basket, belonging to Rosings had been left at Hunsford after the picnic. She decided to return them before setting out for her morning walk to the grove. There she could spend some time trying to make sense of Jane’s last letter.
As she was giving the basket filled with the blankets and a pillow to Gerard, Lady Catherine entered the vestibule. “Miss Bennet, please come with me. I have an urgent matter I must discuss with you.”
Elizabeth followed her down the hall to a small sitting room. She wished proper behaviour did not require her to be polite to her brother-in-law’s patroness. Lady Catherine turned the key after they had entered, and her reluctant guest shuddered with the recollection of another locked door. Elizabeth experienced a particularly debilitating wave of cramps as she assessed her situation.
As soon as they were settled, Lady Catherine began, “You can be at no loss, Miss Bennet, to understand the reason for my insisting on a meeting.”
Elizabeth looked at her with astonishment. “Indeed, you are mistaken, madam. I am not able to account for your request.”
“Miss Bennet,” replied her ladyship, in an angry tone, “you ought to know that I am not to be trifled with. Last week I viewed a most alarming sight. You were without bonnet, hair unkempt, wearing a most immodest gown, curled into my son-in-law’s side. Yesterday after services, to my disgust, I overheard my niece and nephew discussing the possibility of Mr Darcy proposing to you. I am certain they were just indulging in idle conjecture, as both are wont to do when not adequately occupied. Despite their foolishness, I instantly resolved on confronting you with both the spectacle you made in front of my servants and this gossip you are generating among my relatives. Know well, Miss Bennet, it is impossible my son-in-law would ever consider marriage with someone such as you.”
“If you believe Mr Darcy would never consider marriage with me,” said Elizabeth, colouring with astonishment and annoyance, “I wonde
r you took the trouble of confronting me. What could your Ladyship hope to achieve?”
“I insist upon having this nonsensical speculation contradicted by you.”
“I think your queries are to the wrong person. Should you not ask Mr Darcy if he has plans to marry me?”
“If I did ask him, and he said no, can you likewise declare that you are making no effort to entice him?”
Elizabeth’s eyes glittered with disdain equal to Lady Catherine’s, but she said nothing.
“This is not to be borne! Miss Bennet, I insist on being satisfied. Has my son-in-law made you an offer of marriage?”
Today of all days, Elizabeth Bennet was being forced to discuss this most distressing subject. Last night as she had waited for sleep to claim her, their waltz in the woods had intruded. Why had he come to
Hertfordshire and disrupted her well-ordered life? “Your Ladyship has declared it to be impossible.”
“I fear he may no longer retain the use of his reason. Your arts and allurements may, in a moment of infatuation, make him forget what he owes to himself, to his children, to all his family.”
Elizabeth refused to tell Lady Catherine she could never to marry. Instead she said, “I will make no promise of any kind with regard Mr Darcy.”
“Miss Bennet, I am not accustomed to such obstinance as this. I am almost the nearest relation he has in the world, and I am entitled to know all his dearest concerns.”
“But you are not entitled to know mine; nor will such behaviour as this, ever induce me to reveal them to you.”
“Let me make certain you understand. This match, to which you have the presumption to aspire, can never take place… no, never. You will leave Kent immediately, and if you do not, I will take the living away from Mr Collins.”