by Jill Cooper
“He’s the only one who ever cared about me. Before I came to him I had nothing. No one cared about my life. It was always Molly, Lara, Molly. What about me? Why wasn’t I important enough!”
I’m sorry for his pain but even more than that, I see what’s really going on. “He’s manipulated you. I don’t know when he came into your life, but whatever he’s told you, it’s a lie.”
“That I’m good enough? That I’m powerful in my own right? And I am. I can do things you can’t even dream of.”
“Like?” I goad him on so he’ll tell me.
“I can rearrange the timeline. Give people false memories. Delete people, like you. Rearrange relationships. Even move people around forward and backward in time. It’s not easy. The timeline wants to fix itself. It takes all of my concentration.”
I’m floored by the information and wonder how if he was so strong, why no one ever knew? Why was there no mention of him in any of the timelines I had visited. For all his rambling, now I had the information I needed. I just needed to interrupt his concentration, give everyone the chance to get free.
I wanted to do that, but I also wanted to save him. How could I do both? The answer lie with young Mike, not this older twisted version of him.
“Then undo it. Put things back the way it was supposed to be.”
Mike shakes his head. “I could, but I won’t. I want Rex to succeed. I want everyone to see that I’m more powerful than you.”
“. Whatever Rex did to you, I’m sorry. Really am. I hope I can show you one day how wrong you are, but right now, I just have to stop you.”
I make a fist and throw it toward Mike’s head. He jolt’s away into nothing but a purple streak. When he’s suddenly behind me, I pivot on my heel. I try again and again, unable to catch him. That’s not supposed to be possible on the bridge, it exists outside of space and time, so how is he able to do that?
For the first time since landing on the bridge, fear creeps into me. I take a deep breath and Mike shrugs his arms out. “Catch me if you can, Lara.”
Then he’s gone. He disappears and in his place, I’m surrounded by ten versions of Rex, all slightly different from each other—different hair style, a different suit—all with the same smirk and British accent. They all greet me with a hello.
“Hello, Lara.”
“Hello.”
“Here we go ahead, darling.”
I edge myself backward and as they close in on me, I keep my distance. I try to stay in the center. Bending my knees, I work on exploding upward, my handle crackling with power. Without Mike around, I can get back to my timeline. I can fix things so none of this ever happened.
Just as I always do.
“Say bye, Rex.” My lip snarls and I open a portal back to my timeline, ready to reset the past.
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Molly Montgomery
“Don’t forget your backpack before you run for the bus, sweetheart,” Mom places a kiss on my cheek.
Where she kisses me, feels warm, as if her love lingers behind. “What?” I gaze around. I’m sitting at the kitchen table and there’s a half-eaten plate of toast and bacon in front of me. The smell from coffee lingers and the room feels warm, like the heat is cranked up high. The television on the counter flickers with the morning news like it always did when Dad….
“You hear your mom, squirt? You’re going to be late for the bus if you don’t hurry.” Dad says as he puts his coffee cup into the sink.
I stand with shock, my eyes wide to see Dad—Jax Montgomery—standing in our kitchen just as he always used to before the divorce. “Dad?”
Mom and Dad laugh. “Well, at least we still know she can speak.” Mom’s eyes twinkle as he hands me my backpack. “Hurry up and maybe you can catch Mike.”
I sling the bag over my shoulder and my eyes linger on Dad. “Will you be here when I get back?”
“Sure will, squirt. I have a meeting at noon, but I’ll be home in time to put cookies out. You still eat cookies, don’t you?”
“I do,” my insides are smiling as I hug him tight.
“Well good. I knew my baby girl wasn’t that grown up yet.” Dad kisses the top of my head and then I hug Mom. Why did I think my parents got divorced? Why did I think she was dating John Crane?
As I leave the kitchen I glance up at the clock. “You might want to fix that thing. The hands are spinning backward.” I’m unable to shake the feeling that that means something. It’s supposed to tell me something.
But what?
****
I ran down the street fast until I catch up with Mike. He’s slowly trotting to the bus stop with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Wait up, Mike!” I hurry, my feet stomping the sidewalk as he comes to a stop.
He grins at me. “There you are.”
I link my arm through his and we walk together side by side. He doesn’t say anything and neither do I. We fall into a comfortable silence, content to be together, as we always are. Always will be.
I wonder what life will be like when we’re older. Will we always make time for each other? Maybe meet after college glasses for drinks and catching up? Which of us will marry first and what will that do to our relationship?
“You think too much.” Mike shakes his head and punches me on the arm.
“Only of good stuff. Growing up is kind of scary.”
“You have me,.” Mike rustles my hair and I can’t remember the last time he’s done that.
The bus pulls up to the curb and slows down to a stop. The breaks squeak and while I wait for the doors to open, I catch the reflection along the side. Mike has no reflection and I only see myself, but instead of holding a backpack, I’m sitting on a hospital bed. My long hair is unbrushed, unkempt, and I’m in a hospital nightgown.
“Space cadet, you coming?” Mike asks, one foot up on the bus.
“Yeah,” I blow out a long breath and step up onto the bus. I glance back toward our house and watch how the trees blow in the wind. Funny, thing seems fine, so why is there this growing pit in the bottom of my stomach?
****
I can’t relax on the bus ride and all through the first periods of school, everything feels wrong. The teachers smile, my friends make conversation, but none of it seems real. It’s too perfect. Things happens just as they’re supposed to.
Mike walks me to the science lab, but I don’t go in. Instead I hurry down to the first floor to use a pay phone. I check my pockets for a coin and I’m exasperated when I can’t find one, but then when I open my palm, there’s a shiny quarter. It’s there, as if it’s always been there.
Things like that just don’t happen.
Swallowing hard, I slide the quarter into the machine and dial the only person I can think of. Something is happening to me and I hope she’ll have an answer. She’ll know what I’m going through and be able to help me.
“Please answer, please answer,” I nearly chant to myself until the line is picked up.
“Lara Montgomery here.”
I breathe a sigh of relief and my eyes flutter closed. “Lara, thank God you’re all right.”
“Molly? Are you at school, everything all right?”
“Something’s wrong. Something isn’t right. I need you, Lara.” I twist the phone cord around my finger and stare up at the clock. Its hands spin backwards too and for some reason, that gives me the urge to puke.
Lara laughs lightly. “Well, everything is always wrong to a fifteen-year-old. Why don’t you tell me what it is and I can help you?”
“I need you to pick me up. Prove to me you’re real.”
She sighs. “Molly, you’re scaring me. If you’re having another psychotic break…”
“Another?” My brow furrows together and suddenly I’m not in school anymore. I’m on a bed and thrashing my limbs back and forth.
“Help! Someone help me!” I scream as three orderlies pin me down. They reach for the restraints to tether my arms and legs back to the bed. In the background, the machines beep
and sound off as my heart races. My back arches and I call out as someone presses my head back down onto the mattress.
“I’m not crazy! I’m not crazy!”
“It wasn’t this hard with Lara,” One British man says to an identical man beside him. “Molly keeps breaking free. She needs more medicine than her sister.”
“That’s because Molly is stronger and more gifted than Lara. Lara’s was a curse that had to be unlocked through trial and error and experimentation. Molly’s was brought on by puberty, just as her brother’s. If we’re to be as strong as she is, we must control her. Sedate her again.”
Mike? Did they have Mike too? I toss my head as a needle slides into the base of my skull and the pain sends me reeling back into the high school lobby.
I grab the payphone and eek out a trembling cry. “I think I’m going crazy,” I whisper into the phone and grip my hair. Tears obscure my vision. “Please help me, Lara.”
Lara’s playful tone turns serious. “I’ll be right there. Don’t move. Don’t talk to anyone. Keep this between us.”
****
When Lara walks into the school I’m surprised by her appearance. Her hair is longer than I remember and her belly—how come no one told me she was pregnant? She’s not just pregnant, she’s full and round as if the baby might be born any moment. I stare at her blossoming middle as she strokes my hair back and touches my forehead as if to check me for fever.
“Are you all right? Should I take you home?”
I nod. “I wouldn’t have called you if I knew you were pregnant. You must be tired or something.”
Lara makes a face at me and sticks out her tongue. “Funny, ha ha. You know I’m pregnant. You were at the baby shower just two night’s ago. Remember? You threw an everything pink party for me and baby James?” She strokes her belly and I see what she’s talking about as the memory surges to the front of my brain.
The interior of Mom’s house is done up in pink ribbons and balloons. Lara wears a white dress with a pink sash tied around her waist. I’m there in a pink chiffon dress, handing her presents as Donovan kisses her cheek. Forever and in love, the two of them—just the way I always wanted it.
I dreamed of being an aunty to a baby girl.
“I remember. I’m…” My brow creases as the worry creeps on. “I keep getting these memory flashes. I don’t know what’s going on with me,” I whisper. “It feels like something is coming for me, Lara. I don’t know what to do.”
“What do you see?”
I close my eyes and drift away. “There’s shadow. Fog. A face I can’t quite see.”
Lara nods, her lip drawn into a thin line. “I know what can help you, but you’re going to have to trust me.”
****
There’s no one I trust more in the world than Lara.
Back at the house I put on the tea kettle and Lara goes through the kitchen cabinets, looking for something. “Will Mom be back soon?”
I shake my head. “Not until tonight.” I sit at the table.
Lara’s holding a prescription bottle and she slides three blue pills along the tabletop. I stare at them. So, medicating me is the answer?
“I don’t want to take pills.” I hold my hands up and start to rise from the table. Lara pushes me back down.
“These are your pills. You haven’t been taking them. Mom worried you weren’t and if you don’t, these episodes are just going to keep happening.” Lara lowers herself down onto a chair and sits in a way that I can’t forget how pregnant she is. Almost like she wants me to see, wants me to remember.
I stare at the pills. “Episodes?”
“Don’t make me say it, Moll,” Lara whispers. “You were admitted…to the hospital. Don’t tell me you don’t remember that either.”
A hospital? Like the one I keep seeing in my head? “I saw something. I was in a hospital and people kept pushing me down onto the bed. I was scared, helpless.”
Lara nods. “You were a danger to yourself and to others. I know you wouldn’t do anything on purpose to hurt Mom or Jax. But you weren’t in your right mind.”
My eyes widen. “I didn’t hurt them! I saw them this morning!” I back up from the table and knock the chair over.
“You just thought you saw them. Isn’t that true?”
“No!” I shake my head and squeeze my eyes shut. I remember back to that morning and through the fog, Jax’s face morphs until he’s not himself anymore.
“Don’t forget your backpack,” John Crane says with a wink. In front of me there’s a plate of half-eaten toast and bacon.
But he wasn’t the one who handed me my backpack! It was Mom. Jax had been there, too. John wouldn’t be there if Mom wasn’t.
“Oh, Molly,” Lara whispers. “I see how torn up you are. How upset you are. Just take these pills and things will be fine. I promise you. Once you start taking these pills, everything will be right again. I promise you.”
“No!” I turn around and shake my head. The kitchen fades and I’m back in the hospital. An orderly in a white coat places three blue pills in my hand.
“Take the pills, Molly,” he whispers. “It’s the only way to get better. You want this all to fade away for good, don’t you?” He closes my fingers up tight around the pills.
I shake my head. “It’s not real! It’s not real!”
When I open them, I’m sitting back in the kitchen. Lara places the three pills into my hand. “I hate seeing you like this. Please, take the pills. Don’t let this happen to you, okay? We need you better.”
I stare at the pills and I hear a British voice say, “taking the pills on her own is the first step to accepting this new life. She must take the pills.”
I wanted the voice to go away. I wanted everything to just go away.
I toss the pills down my throat and accept the glass of water from Lara. She’s beaming with pride as she hugs me. “I knew you could do it. I just knew you could.”
“Can I stay here now? Can I stay here with you, please?” I squeeze my eyes tight and cling to Lara.
“I’ll keep you tight and safe as long as I can. I promise.” Lara kisses my cheeks and holds my face against hers. “But you need help. I’m sorry, Molly.”
What did she mean?
The front door slams and I jolt, looking for a way out. “What did you do?”
Lara steps away and won’t look at me as three orderly’s enter the room. “Ms. Montgomery, it’s time to come with us.”
I back away, glancing at the window behind the sink. If I could get there in time, I could escape through it. Where would I go though? Who could help me if Lara won’t?
She grabs my arm. “I know what you’re thinking. I thought the same thing once, but they were able to fix me. Let them fix you, too.”
What is she—I’m taken back by the fact Lara isn’t pregnant. Wasn’t she pregnant just a few short moments ago?
“What’s the matter?” Lara asks with a tilt of her head, offering me a sad scowl. “You’ll be okay, I promise. I won’t leave you, Molly.”
The orderlies grab my arm and take me away. “Lara, help!” I grab onto the kitchen chair and drag it backward as the orderlies drag me. “Lara please!”
She follows after us with slow steps. “Don’t hurt her! She doesn’t mean what she does and says. Don’t hurt her!”
The walk outside happens fast. In a matter of moments, I’m strapped down to a gurney in the back of an ambulance. Sirens wail as the EMTs take my vitals and one of them, handsome and with a strong jaw, smiles down at me.
“You’ll be okay, Moll.”
“Mike?” I whisper, but how can it be? He’s too old to be Mike, but he sounds like him and even looks what I assume Mike would look like one day. He has Dad’s chin and Mom’s passionate eyes.
I cringe as something pierces my skin. The EMT pulls out a needle and gives me a smile. “You’ll be quite calm now,” he says in a sudden British voice, “open to suggestion and you’ll answer any question we might ask you.”
/>
“Tell us more about the Bridge,” the handsome young man asks, “Tell us about all the possible decisions and what might happen next?”
Unable to keep my eyes open, I talk but am unsure what I say. I can sense the movement from the ambulance. Then above me there’s a rush of stars—no lights—as I’m transferred into a bedroom. It’s calm, the lighting is muted, but the walls are so sterile.
“She’ll be okay,” a woman’s voice says as I’m transferred to a bed. She puts the guardrails up so I won’t hurt myself. “She’ll sleep this off until morning.”
The hospital door slams shut and locks automatically. The alarm above the door buzzes and the light changes red. All the long while the hands on the clock spin counterclockwise.
Who knows what the morning will bring?
Chapter Thirty: Cassidy Winters
“Cassidy, do you want to share with the group?” Dr. Patricia James asks and taps her clipboard.
I snorted and gazed around the semi-circle ‘group’ I sat with in the psyche wards group room. Except us, there isn’t much before a magazine rack, a box of stale donuts on a table, and a thermos of coffee.
In the circle, I sit with a bunch of losers who couldn’t make eye contact, or dress themselves, or brush their hair. No way, did I want to say anything to them. I made my feelings clear by crossing my arms and my ankles, then looked past the nurses’ station.
Yummy pills, that’s where they kept all the yummy pills. I licked my lips and counted the minutes until the next handout. Two hours, five minutes and thirty-one seconds, not that I was counting.
“How can she stay part of the group if she never contributes?” A woman whined and I thought I might like to punch her so hard, her face might fall off. Maybe it wasn’t possible, but it’d be fun to find out.
“Now, now, Miranda there’s no reason to be hostile. Cassidy just isn’t as far along in her therapy as you are.”