Jessie's Child

by Lois Faye Dyer

  Jessie looked over her shoulder and smiled. Charlie Ankrum had worked for the Kerrigan family for as long as Jessie could remember. He’d somehow managed to remain neutral and not take sides in the long-standing feud. “Hello, Charlie.”

  He entered the box stall and joined them, gnarled hands propped on his lean hips as he looked down at the mother dog with her puppies scrambling over Rowdy’s legs in the straw. “And who might you be, young man?”

  “This is Rowdy,” Jessie replied. “Rowdy, say hello to Mr. Ankrum.”

  “Hi, Mr. Ankrum,” Rowdy said politely before returning his attention to the puppy who was now chewing on his belt.

  “Nice to meet you, Rowdy.” Charlie chuckled at the sight of one little boy trying to control several rambunctious puppies. “Call me Charlie.”

  “Okay.” Rowdy grinned.

  “I haven’t seen you in town in ages, Charlie,” Jessie said. “How have you been?”

  “Not too bad, considerin’ my age.” Charlie gestured at his left leg. “I have to have some minor surgery on my bum knee before long, but other than that, I’m healthy. No need to ask how you are—you’re as pretty as ever.” He winked at her. “How are your folks?”

  “They’re well. Dad bought a new plane.”

  “I heard Jack Macomber was trying to talk him into buying his crop duster.”

  “Yes,” Jessie said. “He succeeded. I think Mom’s worried he’ll try stunt flying with it.”

  Charlie laughed. “She’s probably right to worry. John just might do that.” He turned to Zach. “I stopped to tell you I’m runnin’ into town to pick up the pump replacement parts we ordered. Anything you want me to get for you?”

  “Not that I can think of,” Zach said.

  “Then I’ll take off.” He nodded to Jessie and touched the brim of his straw Resistol in an old-fashioned gesture. “Sure nice to see you, Jessie. And nice to meet you, young man.”

  Rowdy copied the salute, bumping the bill of his Mariner’s hat and knocking it askew. “’Bye.”

  The adults laughed and Charlie left.

  Two hours later, stuffed with lunch followed by ice cream, Jessie and Rowdy drove away from the ranch. Rowdy chattered about the puppies all the way home while Jessie murmured noncommittal responses.

  She couldn’t forget that moment in the stall when she looked up and found Zach watching her. He still wanted her. What was she going to do about it?

  Zach lay flat on his back under a 1955 Chevy truck just outside the open doors of the machine shop. The old flatbed vehicle’s stubborn bolts made changing its oil and greasing it a challenge. He’d been at it for over an hour when he heard the growl of a diesel engine growing steadily louder. He twisted sideways, grunting when he rolled over a rock that dug into his shoulder, and lifted his head off the concrete to look past the truck’s undercarriage and down the gravel lane.

  A black pickup drove into the ranch yard, stopped near the house, then continued on to the machine shop and parked.

  Zach slid out from beneath the truck and got to his feet, wiping the grease and oil from his hands with a red mechanics rag.

  When he saw John McCloud shove open the driver’s door and step out, Zach went still, then slowly finished wiping his hands before tucking the grease-streaked rag into his back pocket.

  “Mr. McCloud,” he said politely, his tone carefully neutral while he braced himself, wondering if Jessie’s father had come to finish what Chase had started at the saloon. John McCloud was an older version of his two sons, just as big, just as work-hardened, and from all accounts, just as tough.

  “Kerrigan.” His voice was equally neutral.

  “What can I do for you?”

  “I want to talk to you about my daughter and grandson.”

  “All right.” Zach waited, his gaze unwavering.

  “Jessie made me promise I wouldn’t interfere in what’s between you two. But just so we’re clear, if you hurt my little girl or my grandson, you’ll answer to me.”

  Anger flared, bright and hot. Zach forced his fists to uncurl. “If you were anyone else but Jessie’s father,” he said evenly, “this conversation would be over. But given the circumstances, I guess you’re entitled.”

  “Huh,” John grunted, his gaze sharpening. “Jessie claims you didn’t know about Rowdy until last week. Is that true?”

  “It’s true.”

  John shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. “I can’t say I think she did the right thing, not telling you. But I sure as hell don’t understand why you didn’t check on her and find out for yourself.”

  “I flew back to the States to see her. When I heard she was married, I figured we didn’t have anything to talk about so I went back to Afghanistan without seeing her.”

  “Is that right?” John said, clearly surprised. “Well I’ll be damned. And she never was married. What a mess.”

  Stunned, Zach stared at him. “What do you mean, she wasn’t married?”

  “I mean she never had a husband. She told us she made up the story so her brothers and me wouldn’t go looking for Rowdy’s father. Looking for you,” he amended. “Doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense, does it?”

  “She wasn’t married,” Zach muttered, shock slowly giving way to fierce satisfaction that Jessie hadn’t been married and growing anger that she’d lied to him.

  “No.” John’s eyes narrowed. “And her mother tells me Jessie hasn’t dated anyone since before Rowdy was born.”

  Zach didn’t comment. He could read the suspicion on the older man’s face but he wouldn’t speculate as to why Jessie hadn’t dated anyone since their night together. He had lots of questions but he wasn’t about to ask John McCloud for answers. Jessie, however, had some explaining to do.

  “Well, then…” John settled his Stetson more firmly on his head. “I’ve said what I came here to say.” He nodded in curt farewell, turned and climbed back into his truck.

  Zach watched the cloud of dust roll up behind the pickup’s wheels as it tooled down the lane.

  “Damn,” he said aloud, staring at the empty road. “She wasn’t married.”

  He glanced at his watch. Jessie was probably still at work and it would be several hours before she tucked Rowdy into bed for the night. He had time to finish changing the oil in the old truck before showering and driving into Wolf Creek. He had questions and this time, he thought grimly, Jessie better give him straight answers.

  Jessie waited until Rowdy was fast asleep before shaking bath salts into the tub and filling it with water. The half hour she spent relaxing in the warm, jasmine-scented bath eased the tension from her body, loosening muscles that felt perennially tense since Zach’s return. When she left the bathroom, the ends of her ponytail and the tendrils at her nape were damp and curling from the steamy air.

  She padded down the hall, her feet bare below her favorite cotton pajama pants. The frosted pink polish on her toenails was the exact shade of the chrysanthemums splashed across the fabric and the satin ribbon edging the hems. She’d smoothed on lotion after her bath and the light yellow tank top and matching, loose floral bottoms were cool and soft against her bare skin.

  The refrigerator held both iced tea and bottled water. She chose cold water and sat at the table, taking a file from her briefcase and opening it. A knock on the door interrupted her before she could flip open the manila folder. A quick glance at the wall clock above the refrigerator confirmed the time was 9:10 p.m.

  “What in the world?” she murmured as she rose. Through the window of the darkened living room, she saw the shadowy shape of a man standing on her porch, tall, broad and so distinctive she immediately knew his identity. “Zach?” She unlocked the screen door and pushed it open. “I didn’t know you were coming in to see Rowdy tonight. I’m sorry, but he’s already asleep.”

  He stepped inside. “I’m not here to see Rowdy.”

  “You’re not?” Nonplussed, she tried to read his expression, but failed.

  “Where can we
talk without Rowdy overhearing us?” he asked.

  “Here in the living room is fine. I need to close the door to his bedroom—I’ll only be a minute.” Jessie moved quietly down the hallway, peering in to find Rowdy sprawled across the bed, asleep amid his stuffed animals. She eased the door closed and returned to the living room, pausing to switch on a small lamp next to the sofa. “What is it, Zach? Is something wrong?”

  “Your dad came to see me this afternoon.”

  “Oh, no,” Jessie groaned. “I’m so sorry.” She scanned his face for bruises but found none. Maybe they didn’t fight. “He didn’t try to punch you or anything, did he? Please tell me he didn’t.”

  “No, he didn’t. But we had an interesting conversation.”

  “Really?” There was something more, Jessie knew. She could sense it in the edginess beneath the deliberately even tone of his words. “What did you talk about?”

  “Your marriage. He says there wasn’t one.”

  Jessie froze. It hadn’t occurred to her that anyone in her family would tell Zach about her fictitious husband before she had a chance to do so. She’d been worried her father or brothers might confront him and exchange blows, but the possibility they might carry on an actual conversation hadn’t crossed her mind. What were the odds?

  “Dad’s right. I wasn’t married.”

  “Maybe you’d like to explain why you forgot to mention that little detail?” Fury simmered beneath his words. “It’s not as if the subject of your marriage hasn’t come up.”

  “I know,” she acknowledged.

  “So. Explain. I’d like to hear the story you told your parents.”

  “Dad didn’t tell you?”

  “I didn’t ask him. I wanted to hear it from you.”

  “I would have told you, sooner or later,” she began.

  The look he gave her was filled with disbelief. He didn’t speak, waiting pointedly for her to continue.

  “First, you have to understand my father and brothers are extremely protective of me—beyond protective, actually. I often think they’re downright irrational. When I learned I was pregnant, my first instinct was to call my parents but I knew if I did, my dad would demand to know who the father was, and where he was. If I’d told him you were my baby’s father and that you’d left the States, he would have moved heaven and earth to track you down. He’d have contacted your commanding officer and who knows what kind of trouble he might have caused for you.”

  “At least I would have known you were pregnant.”

  Jessie winced. “Yes. And we both know you wouldn’t have welcomed the news.”

  “What the hell makes you say that?”

  “Surely you’re not claiming you’d have been happy to find out I was expecting a baby, Zach? We both thought we’d never see each other again when you left my apartment that morning in Missoula. It was pretty clear you didn’t want to see me. The last person in the world you’d have wanted to hear that news from was me.” Jessie searched his features but read only leashed rage in his shadowed eyes and taut jawline, where a muscle flexed sporadically. She saw no indication that he agreed with her.

  “So you decided I shouldn’t be told?” He bit off an oath. “The truth is you didn’t want me to know, Jessie. If you didn’t tell me, you wouldn’t have to deal with a Kerrigan and you wouldn’t have to share Rowdy.”

  “That’s not true.” Jessie crossed her arms over her midriff in an unconsciously protective gesture. “I would have told you, Zach.”

  “When?” he shot back.

  “When you came back to Wolf Creek, when you lived close enough to have a relationship with Rowdy and see him on a regular basis.”

  “And what did you think the odds were I would ever have come back here? If my grandfather hadn’t split the Kerrigan holdings and left me land, I might not have. You know that. And then you would never have had to tell me. Tell me, Jessie, would you have relented and sent me a picture when he graduated high school? College, maybe? Would you have invited me to his wedding? Just when would I have found out I had a son? When it was too late for me to know him?”

  “I’m not saying I made the right decision, Zach, nor even that I made a good decision. I can only tell you I did the best I could under the circumstances.”

  “Yeah, well, what you did was wrong. And it wasn’t the best you could have done.” He stalked toward her, not stopping until he loomed over her and she had to tilt her head backward to meet his gaze. “The best you could have done was to have told me.”

  “You were thousands of miles away,” she protested, throwing up her hands in frustration. “What would have been different?”

  His eyes flared. “If I’d known you were carrying my baby I’d have come home and claimed you both.” He reached for her, dragging her against him and covering her mouth with his.

  His mouth took hers with angry impatience and his arms wrapped her tight against the hardness of his body. For a moment, she was stunned by the surge of heat but then she struggled in protest, pushing against his chest.

  Instantly, his mouth gentled over hers, his hold loosening just enough to keep her body touching his. She would have fought restraint but she had no defense against the slow seduction of his mouth luring hers and the heat of his body surrounding her.

  Yes. Her body followed her heart, going boneless against his as she reached for him, sliding her fingers through the cool strands of his hair.

  He picked her up and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. The soft cotton tank top rode up, baring her midriff and Zach groaned, tearing his mouth from hers, his breathing labored.

  “You’re naked under this, aren’t you.”

  It wasn’t a question. His voice was tortured.

  She nodded, her lips seeking his and he groaned again.

  Her heart slammed against her ribs as their mouths fed off each other with feverish intensity. At last he tore himself from her and met her gaze, his eyes hot.

  “You and that damned stupid story about being married,” he muttered. “We’ve wasted years.” He turned in a half circle. “Where’s your bedroom?”

  Dazed, Jessie opened her mouth to tell him and at that second, her sleeping conscience chose to wake and shriek a warning.

  “Wait!”

  “Why? What’s wrong?” His voice was distracted, husky with arousal.

  “We can’t do this.”

  His expression was incredulous. “You’re kidding, right?” He moved his hips beneath hers and she gasped. “It feels to me like we definitely can do this.”

  “Stop that.” She battled a rush of heated desire and pushed at his shoulders. “Put me down.”

  Reluctantly, he let her unwind her legs from around his waist to slide down his body. His breath hissed out and she gasped audibly when her thighs and the cove of her hips moved over his.

  “So what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice tight with restraint.

  “This, us.” She gestured wildly, waving a hand at him, then herself. “We can’t do this. It’s not good.”

  “It felt pretty damned good to me.”

  “That’s not what I meant and you know it.” She pushed her tumbled mane of hair, minus the fabric scrunchie that had somehow become lost in the last frantic moments, away from her face. “Giving in to lust and hormones four years ago is how we ended up in this predicament.”

  “Don’t knock lust and hormones,” he growled. “People all over the world would kill for the amount of lust we’ve got going for us.”

  She hadn’t expected or wanted him to deny the heat between them, but his easy agreement seemed to confirm lust was all he felt for her and that made her feel like crying. “Yes, well…” She drew in a deep, shaky breath and lifted her chin. “We still don’t have solutions for what happened the last time we gave in to lust. And since I’m not on birth control, I don’t think it’s wise to repeat ourselves.”

  “You’re not on birth control? Why, Jessie?”


  His voice was curious, interested. But Jessie wasn’t fooled. Dumb, Jessie, very dumb. Why did you tell him? “My practicing birth control, or not, is none of your business, Zach.”

  “It is now,” he said. “So tell me, why is a young, beautiful, single woman like you not taking birth control?”

  “I haven’t felt I needed to,” she said tightly.

  “How long since you ‘felt the need to’?”

  “I don’t see why that’s relevant.”

  “But I do.” He leaned closer, his eyes searching hers. “Have you slept with anyone since Rowdy was born?”

  “It’s none of your business,” she ground out. She refused to give him the satisfaction of hearing her admit he’d been her last lover.

  “Then I’m going to assume you haven’t.”

  “Assume what you like,” she responded, feeling her cheeks burn at the note of male satisfaction in his voice. “It has no bearing on the present situation. We need to stay focused on resolving the issues surrounding Rowdy.”

  Her brisk voice was the one she used in the courtroom. Instead of being annoyed with her, he appeared to find her amusing.

  “I couldn’t agree more,” he drawled. “Having his parents closely connected would definitely be in Rowdy’s best interests.”

  She pretended not to notice the sexual innuendo. “I’m glad we agree on something.” She peered pointedly at the grandfather clock in the corner of the room. “It’s late and I have a court hearing early tomorrow, so if there’s nothing else you wanted to discuss…?”

  “There’s a lot I want to discuss with you, but it’ll keep.” His half smile faded and his expression turned brooding. “Don’t ever lie to me again, Jessie.”

  Guilt assailed her. “I’m sorry, Zach, really. If I could take it back, I would.”

  “Just don’t do it again. And no more making decisions on your own about what I should or shouldn’t be told about Rowdy. You’re not alone in this.”

  She nodded, swallowing back tears.

  “Good.” He cupped her face in his hands, his gaze searching hers. “If you need time to get used to what’s between us, Jessie, I’ll back off for now. Just don’t take too long coming to terms with it. I’ve waited four years to have you again and it’s been four years too long.”