Zach brushed a shock of dark hair from Rowdy’s forehead and leaned over the bed, breathing in the little-boy smell of clean pajamas, soap and cherry-flavored medicine. He brushed his lips against the downy cheek, frowning at the heat beneath the soft skin before he joined Jessie.
“He still feels warm,” he whispered, turning to look back at the bed and its tiny occupant.
“I know. He’s not nearly as hot as he was but he’s still running a fever,” she said softly, covering a yawn with her hand.
“You need to sleep.” Zach took her by the shoulders and gently turned her into the hall, pulling Rowdy’s door nearly closed. “Which way to your bedroom?”
She hesitated, worry and indecision flitting across her features. Before she could speak, Zach brushed the tip of his forefinger over her lips, silencing her. “I’m going to take you to your room and make sure you go to bed. That’s all. In fact, why don’t you tell me where I can find an extra pillow and a blanket before I tuck you in. I’ll crash on your sofa tonight.”
He thought he glimpsed a fleeting hint of regret in the relief that eased her expression and drained the tension from her shoulders. Then she stepped away from him and opened a closet across the hall.
“Here’s a pillow,” she whispered. He took it from her and she stacked a light blanket on top before closing the door carefully so as not to wake Rowdy. “My bedroom is the next room down.”
Zach followed her, stopping in the doorway while Jessie moved around the bed and switched on a lamp. The bedroom was feminine and seductive, the woman standing in the small spill of light by the bed even more so. She looked at him, hesitating, her blue eyes shadowed.
He’d never wanted a woman this badly. It was all he could do to stay put and not go to her. But she was exhausted and vulnerable and he couldn’t take advantage of her, no matter how tempted he was.
“Get your pajamas on.” His voice was gravelly, much lower than its normal deep tone. “I’ll leave as soon as you’re in bed.”
She looked skeptical but pulled open a dresser drawer and took out a pink top and pants. She moved past him in the doorway, careful not to touch him, and disappeared into the adjoining bathroom.
He waited, listening to the gentle sounds of water running, drawers quietly opening and closing, before the door opened and she walked by him once again.
Zach didn’t step aside and although the doorway was wide enough to allow her passage without brushing against him, he was able to inhale her scent and feel the warmth of silky hair against his biceps. Then she was past him, crossing the room and climbing into the bed.
Wondering briefly just how much torture he could take, he followed her and switched off the lamp. “Go to sleep. Don’t worry about Rowdy. If he wakes up, I’ll handle it, and I’ll give him the medicine on schedule.”
“Thank you, Zach.”
Her quiet words reached him at the door and he paused to look back. “You’re welcome. Good night.”
He stepped into the hall and closed the door behind him. For several long moments, he just stood there, willing himself not to go back inside and climb in bed with her. Finally, he moved silently toward the living room, pausing to check on the still-sleeping Rowdy.
He tossed the pillow on the end of the sofa and sat down to pull off his boots before he stretched out, tugging the blanket over his legs and up to his waist. The house was quiet, without a sound to break the stillness. Zach felt an odd contentment and sense of rightness that his son and Jessie slept down the hall while he kept watch.
Sunshine poured through the window, slanting across the bed. Jessie woke and sat upright, puzzled at the unaccustomed sunlight in her bedroom. Why had she left the blinds open last night?
Rowdy! She leaped out of bed and ran down the hall to his room but the bed was empty, the sheets rumpled. She found him on the sofa in the living room, sprawled on top of Zach. Both of them were sound asleep, Zach’s arms loosely holding Rowdy safely against his chest, one big hand splayed over his back.
She propped herself against the doorjamb, her eyes misting.
I’m in love with him, she thought with sudden, painful insight. I’ve loved him since the night Rowdy was conceived. And he’s going to break my heart.
She remained in the doorway for long moments, watching the two sleep, before she could pull herself away. Zach had been a rock of support last night and she couldn’t help but wish they were a normal couple, raising a child they both loved, sharing their lives. This wasn’t Rowdy’s first illness but it was the first time she hadn’t dealt with it alone.
How could she mourn the loss of something she’d never had, she wondered. Yet, she did. If she’d contacted Zach when she learned she was pregnant, if she hadn’t lied, maybe they would have married and become a family.
Or maybe not.
Jessie stood in the shower, the hot water pouring over her, easing tense muscles. The likelihood there could ever be a future for her with Zach was a million to one. Her family would never approve of him as her husband—they weren’t doing very well coping with the fact that he was Rowdy’s father. But even if a miracle occurred and her family, especially Chase, accepted Zach, she couldn’t believe Zach would be willing to forgive and forget. She’d lied to him. He might want to sleep with her but that didn’t mean he’d ever love and trust her.
She turned off the water and toweled off, dressing in a pale-green tank top paired with a patterned green cotton skirt, the bare top and flirty short skirt cool in the morning heat. She applied mascara and lipgloss before she left the bathroom and moved quietly on bare feet into the kitchen. Chase and Rowdy slept on in the living room while she started breakfast.
“Good morning.” The deep voice was gravelly with sleep.
Jessie looked over her shoulder. Zach stood just inside the kitchen door, his dark hair messy, eyes sleepy and stubble shadowing his jaw, holding Rowdy’s hand.
“Hi, Mommy.”
“Hey.” Jessie smiled at the big, dangerous-looking man and the small, grinning little boy, and turned down the heat under the skillet where sausage sizzled and spat as it cooked. “You woke up just in time. Breakfast is almost ready.”
She held out her arms and Rowdy ran across the kitchen. She caught him and picked him up, giving him a hug before settling him on her hip. “How are you feeling?”
“Good.” He nodded firmly before coughing.
“Is it time for medicine?” Jessie asked Zach.
He glanced at the clock on the wall. “Not for another hour.”
Rowdy coughed again. “Cover your mouth, sweetie,” Jessie said. Rowdy immediately clapped his hand over his mouth, then took it away to cough once more. Jessie cupped her palm over his lips and nose and he grimaced.
Zach watched the interplay, a lazy smile on his face.
“Do I have time for a quick shower?” he asked.
“Absolutely. Clean towels are in the hall linen closet.”
“Thanks—I won’t be long.”
Jessie settled Rowdy at the table with a sippy cup of milk and half a breakfast bar, waiting until she heard the shower turn off before pouring scrambled eggs into a hot skillet. By the time Zach returned to the kitchen, breakfast was on the table.
“Perfect timing.” She carried the thermal coffeepot to the table, slipping into her customary seat. “Rowdy wants you to sit by him.”
“Is that right?” Zach ruffled Rowdy’s hair and took the chair next to him and across from Jessie.
Breakfast was a quiet affair. Rowdy still had a slight fever and his usual chattiness was subdued but he drank his orange juice and managed to finish several bites of eggs and toast. When he yawned, Jessie gave him a teaspoonful of cherry-flavored medicine and carried him down the hall to tuck him into bed again.
Zach was clearing the table when she returned to the kitchen.
“Is he asleep?” he asked, gathering the plates and cutlery.
“Not yet, but he will be before long.” Jessie ran water in the sink and
began to rinse dishes. “He could barely keep his eyes open.” She glanced up when he set the stack of plates on the counter next to her. “Did he wake up often during the night?”
“No more than four or five times.” Zach shrugged. “Not bad considering how much he was coughing. I got up with him for the last time around four this morning and he didn’t want to go back to bed so I let him sleep with me on the sofa.”
“And you actually slept?” Jessie lifted an eyebrow in disbelief. “I’m impressed. He’s been known to push me right out of bed and onto the floor.”
Zach grinned. “It was a little dicey at first but I finally talked him into lying on my chest and he settled down—one minute he was awake and the next, he was dead asleep.”
“I didn’t hear either of you during the night. I was so tired, I don’t think I would have been able to wake up if he’d needed me. Thanks for staying and taking care of him, Zach.”
“My pleasure.” He took the last of the rinsed plates from her hands and slotted them into the dishwasher before closing the door. He leaned his hip against the counter, crossed his arms over his chest and eyed her, his face set in stern lines. “We need to talk, Jessie.”
Her heart stuttered. “About Rowdy? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing—it’s not about Rowdy. At least, not directly, although he’s involved.”
“Then—what?”
“I think we should get married.”
Jessie felt her mouth drop open, her eyes widen as she stared at him. “What?” she managed to get out.
“You heard me.” Zach’s gaze held hers. “Think how much better it would be for Rowdy if there were two of us to look after him. You were exhausted last night, so tired you were staggering. If I’d known he was ill, I would have been here earlier and we could have taken turns caring for him.”
“I don’t know what to say, Zach.” She bit her lip, knocked off balance by his proposal. “Did you decide this just last night?”
“The trip to the E.R. last night convinced me, but the time I’ve spent with you and Rowdy over the last weeks has made me realize how much work it is to take care of him. I don’t want to be a part-time father, Jessie. I want to be there when he’s tucked into bed at night and have breakfast with him every morning. I want to be part of his life every day.”
“I’m not sure it would work,” Jessie began, painfully aware of the irony that Zach had decided marriage was a rational step for them on the very morning she realized she loved him.
“Why not?”
“Because children need a calm, loving atmosphere in their home and you hate me, Zach,” she said bluntly.
He looked shocked. “I don’t hate you. What in God’s name makes you think I hate you?”
“Maybe hate is too strong a word, but you’re certainly harboring resentment toward me for not telling you about Rowdy.”
“I’ll get over it.”
“I doubt it.” She swept her hair back from her forehead in agitation. “And frankly, I’m not sure I want to spend the rest of my life with a man who’s trying to get past seriously disliking me.”
“I don’t seriously dislike you,” he growled, clearly annoyed.
“You’ll have to forgive me if I find your answer less than convincing.”
He eyed her for a moment, then moved so quickly she didn’t have time to evade him. He pinned her against the counter, his arms bracketing her to keep her from escaping. “I don’t hate you. I don’t seriously dislike you.” His face was inches from hers as he spoke each word clearly and precisely. “You drive me crazy and half the time you’re so damned stubborn I want to throttle you. That does not mean I hate you. I don’t like it that you lied to me and if you ever do it again, I guarantee we’ll have one helluva fight. That does not mean I dislike you.” He paused, pinning her gaze with his. “Are you getting any of this?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” His lashes lowered, half masking his eyes. “There’s another reason you should marry me, Jessie.”
He crowded her against the counter, the worn fabric of his jeans softly abrasive against her bare legs, his hips settling against the cove of hers. The tips of her breasts brushed his chest, nipples hardening painfully, and she was having trouble breathing. “What’s that?” she murmured.
“This.” With slow precision, he fitted his mouth to hers.
Jessie stopped breathing entirely, totally focused on the slow, seductive wooing of his lips over hers. She slipped her arms around his neck to hold him closer. His hair was cool and silky beneath her fingers. Zach caught her waist and picked her up, sitting her on the countertop without breaking the kiss. Then he nudged her knees apart and stepped between them, pulling her closer until she was flush against his body. Jessie wrapped her legs around his waist and he went still, his grip on her thigh tightening.
“Jessie.” His voice was thick. “Take me to bed.”
She could no more deny him now than on that long-ago night in Missoula. “Yes.” She barely breathed the word.
He lifted her off the countertop and carried her down the hall. With every step he took, the sensitive vee of her thighs rubbed against the hard proof of his arousal. He reached her bedroom and nudged the door half-closed, then stopped.
“What about Rowdy?”
“He’ll sleep for at least an hour, probably two.”
“Good.” He used his elbow to push the door closed before he walked to the bed and lowered her onto the mattress. Her legs were still wrapped around his waist and she was reluctant to release him. She pulled at his T-shirt, slipping her hands beneath to stroke the sleek, hard muscles. He caught her tank top and tugged it over her head before his mouth closed heatedly over the silk and lace bra covering her breast.
Jessie moaned, arching beneath him. Zach released the front hook and peeled the bra away, tossing it over his shoulder. He sat back on his heels, breathing heavily while he traced the curve of her bare breast with his fingers.
“You are so damned beautiful.”
Jessie barely registered the words, so caught up was she in the movement of his hand. Where he touched, she burned.
He pushed up her skirt and slid her panties down her legs, bending to press his mouth against the soft inner skin of her thigh above her knee. The skirt quickly followed the panties. She moaned and reached for him.
He lifted away from her, his eyes hot and intent on her bare body as he peeled off his T-shirt and threw it on the floor, then unzipped his jeans. He shifted off the bed long enough to slide jeans and underwear down his legs, pausing to take a foil packet from his pocket and remove the contents. Then he was back, his warm weight pressing her into the bed, his hair-roughened thighs wedging hers apart once more.
She tensed as he entered her, her hands clenching his biceps.
He brushed soft kisses over her face, soothing her, and his hand slipped between them, stroking her until her muscles loosened and she lifted against him.
“Please,” she murmured, pulling his mouth back to hers.
Jessie was incapable of thinking. She screamed and would have woken Rowdy if Zach hadn’t covered her mouth and swallowed the sound.
They made love twice, leaving the bedroom to shower and dress before Rowdy woke again.
“I forgot to turn on the dishwasher,” Jessie commented, pushing the select buttons.
“We were busy.” Zach slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her back against him while his mouth explored the sensitive skin below her ear.
“We were, weren’t we.” She closed her eyes, trying to breathe. Her eyes opened wide and she twisted in his arms to look up at him. “Oh, my God. What about Rowdy?”
“What about him?” Zach cocked his head, listening. “Not a sound. He’s still asleep.”
“I know, but what if he’d wakened and come into the bedroom while we…” Her voice trailed off and she flushed under his lazy grin.
“While we were in bed? Honey, parents must deal with that possibility all the time.
Otherwise, I doubt there’d ever be more than one kid in a family.”
“You don’t think we were irresponsible?”
“No, I don’t.” He cupped the back of her head in his hand and kissed her, his mouth seducing hers. When he lifted his head, she was breathless. “And I plan to be irresponsible as often as possible, so get used to it.”
“Get used to it?” She quirked an eyebrow and pushed away from him. “Does that approach usually work with women?”
He laughed. “I don’t know but I thought it was worth a try.” He sobered, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter. “I want to tell Rowdy today, Jessie. I think it’s time.”
She stared at him, torn. “What will we do if he doesn’t take it well?”
“We’ll deal with that if it happens, but I don’t think it will. He likes me, Jess.”
She bit her lip. “You’re right, he does,” she conceded slowly. Was she making too much of this? Rowdy had taken to Zach as if he’d known him forever. Was she hesitating because she was afraid for Rowdy, or because she wasn’t sure how she’d deal with Zach publicly claiming Rowdy? “All right. We’ll tell him after his nap.”
Zach’s eyes lit with relief and he wrapped his arms around her in a fierce hug. He clearly had no worries about Rowdy’s reaction. Jessie wasn’t so sure.
The monitor sitting on the kitchen countertop, connected to Rowdy’s bedroom, made rustling sounds, then Rowdy’s voice came clearly over the small speaker.
“Mommy!”
The moment of truth had arrived sooner than Jessie had expected. “Well…” She pushed out of Zach’s arms. “Let’s go get him.”
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