He leaned in closer. “Such as?”
I suppressed my amusement at his eagerness. “Dancing, for one.”
The corners of his mouth twitched. “Will we waltz?”
“You and Ruth will waltz, seeing as she is the one in need of instruction.”
I could tell he had no intention of relenting. “But she will likely need to see it demonstrated first.”
I dipped my chin forward, refusing to look away. “Then I suppose we shall.”
He gave a wink. “Capital.”
This time I could not hide my smile, though I made certain to pair it with a disapproving shake of my head. “Perhaps our first lesson should be the handling of wicked flirts,” I said, shooting Augustus a pointed look. “With one of England’s finest specimens on display here before us, it seems a shame to pass on the opportunity.”
Both ladies giggled, and I gave a triumphant half-smile.
“On second thought,” he said, and I recognized the touch of mischief in his eyes as he continued, “I believe I can spare some time to see how you handle this most unnerving topic.” He leaned a shoulder against the wall, his brow raised as if daring me to continue.
“Very well, Mr. Brundage,” I said, accepting his challenge. “Though I fear you will not find as much satisfaction in the lesson as you presume.”
“I’ll be sure to let you know my thoughts when you’ve concluded your discourse.”
“Oh, but Mr. Brundage, my lessons are not lectures. Come,” I said, beckoning him toward me. “Stand here.”
He hesitated, clearly suspicious of my purpose.
I lifted my shoulders innocently. “I simply wish to demonstrate the protocol, as I believe visuals are easier to recall than explanations.” I paused. “That is, unless you’d rather not?”
He straightened and took a few steps forward. “Here?”
I gave a tight smile to cover my exasperation. “That shall work. Now, say something flirtatious to me.”
Augustus glanced at his sister and Ruth.
“Oh, come now. It is not like they haven’t seen such coquetry on your part before.”
Augustus squared his shoulders and moved his head side to side as though he was about to take part in fisticuffs instead. He gave a charming grin. “Miss Godwin, you are most handsome.”
The ladies giggled wildly, and I rested the tip of my finger on my lips. “Surely you can do better than that.” I took a step nearer him and bit at my lip. Augustus’s eyes fell exactly where I had intended them to. “Tell me how the color of my eyes remind you of sapphires that sparkle in the sunlight, or how the way I move utterly intoxicates you, making all other things fall out of focus.”
Augustus swallowed. “The way you move intoxicates me,” he repeated, his voice stale.
It was nearly too much to see him so utterly disconcerted, and I cleared my throat to stifle a laugh. “Well,” I said, glancing toward Ruth and Sarah, “you will have to simply imagine that he has been successful in his attempt. And once—”
Augustus stepped near and the warmth of him seeped through my dress. “Miss Godwin,” he said, his breath hot on my neck, “if you only knew the effect you had on me, you would not torture me so heartlessly.”
My heart gave a decided thump, but I refused to let him come away victorious. “Much improved, Mr. Brundage. Now ladies, how you react to a gentleman depends entirely on what you wish to convey to him and to those who might be watching. Since in this example we are dealing with a notorious flirt”—I tilted my head to give Augustus another pointed glance—“my best option is to end our conversation with grace and minimize any harm he could inflict upon me.”
“Harm?” Ruth asked, scrunching her nose in concern.
“On my reputation. Flirts and rakes alike rarely have the ability to aid a lady’s reputation, but they can destroy it in one brief encounter if one is not careful.”
The ladies shared a concerned glance, returning their eyes to me with new focus.
“You must make it obvious that you have no interest in their attempts, for both kinds of men are infamous in their inability to acknowledge dismissive cues. In my experience, increasing the distance between you and the offender is the first step, followed by a quickly contrived excuse of needing to be elsewhere.”
“Mr. Brundage,” I said in a pretend acknowledgment of farewell, taking a step away from the penetrating warmth of his body and lifting my hand to him. I glanced at Ruth and Sarah. “The withdrawal of my attention will not be viewed as a slight if I offer my hand to bow over.” I nodded encouragingly to Augustus, and he obediently lifted my hand to place a kiss upon it. I overlooked the way my skin prickled with the tenderness of his display.
“The benefit of such a move, as you are able to see,” I said, gesturing to the distance between us, “is that we are now an appropriate distance apart.”
Both ladies nodded in unison.
“Once that is accomplished, I must offer an excuse.” I turned back to Augustus. “It was so kind of you to seek me out, but I promised—” I looked over my shoulder. “Add whomever would be a reasonable person here,” I said, to clarify. “—my mother that I would join her directly, and she is not one to be kept waiting. Do forgive me.” I offered a curtsy and turned as if to walk away. “Make certain you do not allow him an opportunity to persuade you otherwise, for he will certainly try appealing to your sensitive natures.”
Augustus’s hand gripped mine, spinning me back toward his infuriating smirk. “Please, Miss Godwin,” he said in a most overly dramatic way, dropping down to one knee. “How unfair of you to dismiss me so cruelly. Can you not see how miserable a wretch I am?”
The sight of Mr. Brundage clasping my hand and looking up at me as though he was a love-stricken fool was too much, and the laugh I had been suppressing for days burst from me. “I most certainly can,” I managed, amidst the chorus of laughter that followed mine.
I wiped at the tears that had managed to escape before wrapping my arms around my midsection. “I don’t believe I’ve laughed that hard in years,” I said. “Though it should be no surprise as you were the only one who could ever make me laugh like that, Aug—” I quickly corrected myself. “Mr. Brundage.”
“That is quite the badge of honor you have placed upon me.” Augustus stepped near. “I shall wear it with pride.”
“As long as you do not bring it along for our next lesson.” I sent him a disapproving glance. “Sarah and Ruth shan’t learn a thing with such ridiculous and overly dramatic displays.”
He looked toward his sister and Ruth. “I believe they learned a great deal. Did you not find the demonstration enlightening?”
Both ladies looked absolutely giddy. “Yes,” they said in near unison.
My face warmed, too aware of what they were affirming, but Augustus only laughed.
“Well, I best leave you now before Miss Godwin bans me from her lesson on how to encourage a gentleman’s pursuit. Considering how satisfying this one has been, I’m confident that one would be a dreadful shame to miss.”
I shook my head. “You are incorrigible.”
He smiled a most handsome smile, the smile that used to make me weak in the knees. I realized, to my great mortification, it still did. I placed a hand behind me, stabilizing myself on the back of the settee, watching him walk from the room.
“So much for no tomfoolery.” Ruth sent me a knowing glance. “It is wonderful to see the two of you together again.”
I cleared the lump from my throat, having no desire to give Ruth evidence of her foolish hopes nor acknowledge the nonsensical expressions they both wore. “Shall we start on our actual lessons?”
Chapter Nine
“I never knew walking could be so exhausting.” Ruth slumped into a chair. “Or that one could do it wrong.”
“Just be thankful we do not have access to the backboard Mother made me use.” I examined Sarah’s posture as she moved across the room. “Very nice, Sarah. Remember to lift your sternum as t
hat will pull back your shoulders in a more natural way.” Her figure went into a beautiful, natural alignment. “Chin up just a touch. Perfect.” I looked over my shoulder at Ruth. “It is your turn again.”
She tilted her head back and gave an exasperated groan. “Must I? We have been working tirelessly for the past few days now, and my whole body is aching, especially my poor feet.”
I placed my hands on my hips and fixed her with a disbelieving look. “You make it sound as though I’m some sort of Napoleonic dictator.”
She exhaled most dramatically. “I’m sorry, Bella. You are right. I believe I am simply in need of a short respite to rejuvenate. My head is still spinning with how many ways there are to communicate with a fan.” She shook her head. “It is like a language in itself.”
“That is the point, dear,” I said, though I recognized I had required a lot of them since beginning our training. “What is it you’d like to do?”
Ruth sat up straight, brimming with excitement. “Augi offered to take us on a picnic. There is a lovely stream where we like to go. And would it not be divine to spend such a beautiful day out of doors?”
I pursed my lips. A short break was one thing, but a picnic was entirely another. Then again, I had been putting off speaking with Augustus about who had prevented him from writing to me. Nerves were certainly a part of the reason I had not accomplished my purposes, but the constant interruptions had not made the task any easier.
“We could continue our lessons there,” Sarah offered timidly.
I glanced between both ladies’ hopeful gazes. “Very well. If Mr. Brundage is available, I suppose some fresh air could be beneficial.”
Ruth squealed in delight as she ran to Sarah’s side.
“Ruth,” I said, pinning her with a look of censure.
“Sorry.” Ruth took a calming breath, just as I had shown her, and linked her arm with Sarah’s. “Come,” she said coolly, “let us fetch Augi.”
“I shall wait for you both here.” I moved to the settee. The quiet settled over me as I collected my needlework and took a seat. After removing my gloves, I glanced around the empty room. It was entirely too quiet.
“And where have your pupils got off to?” Augustus stood in the doorway, a few letters in his hand.
“Actually, they have just gone in search of you.” I slowly rose to my feet to face Augustus. “Something about a picnic they were promised?”
Tucking the letters into his waistcoat, he moved around the settee. “Is there time for such diversions as picnics in your schedule?”
I lifted my chin in response to the teasing in his voice. “No. But Ruth and Sarah have done well, and I believe they deserve a respite from their labors.”
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “So, you are not to join us?”
“It was suggested we continue our lessons there. Unless you prefer—”
“No,” Augustus interrupted. “I want you along.”
My face flushed, but Augustus did not seem to notice as he settled onto the settee next to where I had been sitting. I glanced toward the door, uncertain if we should speak in such privacy, before tucking away my concern and resuming my seat. “If you have work to attend to, I am certain I could convince them to postpone the outing for another day.”
“No. There is always work to be done, which is precisely why we should go. Besides, I’ve already met with two of our tenant farmers this morning, and I have no other appointments scheduled for the day.”
“Ruth and Sarah will be glad to hear it.”
“How are lessons coming along?”
“Both ladies are doing very well,” I said, leaving out Ruth’s complaints of the monotonous tasks I had them performing. “Sarah seems especially keen to learn.”
“I’m glad to hear it. She appears to be warming to you.”
“Yes—despite the discomfort I inflict on others—I suppose she is.”
He quirked his head sideways. “You are not still vexed by my comment that you make others feel ill-at-ease.”
I tipped my head to reflect his own. “Should I not be?”
“No. It was more of a compliment than anything.”
“You fooled me, then.”
He shifted his body to face me more fully, his knees resting against the skirt of my dress. “You, Miss Godwin, are a caliber of woman that commands attention. You are beautiful, capable, fashionable, articulate—”
“Please, Mr. Brundage,” I interrupted. “A woman can only endure so much flattery before it becomes disingenuous, or, in your case, before it seems a desperate attempt to cover a previous folly.”
He only grinned. “Bold, intelligent—”
I shot him an unimpressed expression. “What is your point?”
“I am getting there,” he said, a laugh behind his words. “Humble?”
I straightened. “Was that one a question?”
He paused, and his tiresome smile grew. “Discerning.”
I scoffed and nudged my shoulder into him.
“Did you just shove me, Miss Godwin?”
“It was obvious I had no other option. Who knows how long it would have taken you to touch on a mere portion of my commanding qualities?” I said the last two words in a deep, haughty voice. “We may be stuck here all afternoon.” I tipped my head to one side and fluttered my lashes in a most ridiculous manner.
He chuckled and shook his head. “Humorous also, though I shall not be adding skilled impersonator to the list. You did quite an abominable job with that one. Commanding qualities,” he repeated in a mimicking tone. “It didn’t sound a thing like me.”
I smirked. “I beg to differ. Though you have still not offered me an explanation for the necessity of your list.”
He placed his arm on the back of the settee behind me. “It is these qualities that make others feel inferior in your presence. Discomfort originates from comparison, and you are a difficult one to compete with.”
“Insightful. Perhaps when I am finished educating Ruth and Sarah, I can offer you advice on giving compliments that are not so disparaging.”
He laughed. “I’m declaring you a superior woman—”
“By informing me how miserable I make others.”
His expression softened. “Forgive me. I meant no offense.”
We sat in silence, and my thoughts involuntarily moved through the countless times I had been the one who had felt deficient. He was correct that nearly all had been caused by comparison of some sort—what I perceived I lacked or what I was informed I lacked by another. How I despised that feeling. That feeling had been one of my greatest motivations to work unceasingly at becoming the lady I was—a lady that rarely felt inferior or overlooked. A lady that deserved consideration and love. And I had accomplished it. I had achieved near perfection in Society’s eyes, if not Mother’s yet. And what greater scale was there in determining your own worth than others’ reactions to you?
The knotting in my stomach contradicted my conclusion. I took a clarifying breath, sensing Augustus’s regard on me. My heart raced, and I knew it was a warning cry, an attempt to stop my foolish desire of admitting what I had discovered during my moment of self-reflection. “I—” No. I would not let him affect me. I would not let him discover the truth about who I had become.
“What is it?”
I shook my head, casting my gaze to my hands. “Imagining for an instant that what you say is correct, what is to be done other than diminishing oneself for another’s comfort?”
“Never diminish yourself.”
I lifted my gaze, perplexed by his apparent contradiction.
“Think of the people you enjoy being around. What is it about them that makes their company desirable?”
I exhaled, allowing a hasty attempt to latch on to any of my peers who met his criteria. I thought to offer up Lord Thorton as an example, but decided against it after considering that what I liked best about him was how superior he made me feel. After ruminating for too long, I me
t his gaze and gave a timid shrug of my shoulders.
There was discernment in his expression. “How does Ruth make you feel?”
Of course. Ruth. Why had I not thought of her? “I suppose she makes me feel appreciated.”
He nodded but said nothing.
I did not care to give more, but the image of Ruth’s bright eyes lightened my heart. “She encourages me and accepts me.” I paused. “She makes me feel valued without condition.” Tears threatened my composure, but I forced the odd sensation away.
A smile touched Augustus’s lips. “It is one of the things I adore most about Ruth—her willingness to treat people as they deserve—often better than they deserve. She somehow overlooks differences and simply finds something to admire about everyone.”
“But I am not Ruth.” Nor could I be. Amid the circles I moved in, it would undeniably ruin my reputation if I were to follow her haphazard example, however well-intentioned she was.
“I’m not telling you to be Ruth. You can encourage others in your own way.”
I feigned disinterest. “Learning to elevate another without a purpose is not a lesson often encountered in a young lady’s training.”
He paused. “But, thankfully for you, it needn’t be taught. You have always been—”
“I’m not that girl anymore.” I looked away, surprised at my own admission.
“I don’t believe that.” His voice was a near whisper. “Do you remember the time when one of your family’s tenant farmers brought his daughter along to Fellerton? The little girl with the black hair and blue eyes?”
I warmed at the memory. “Yes. Elaina.”
Augustus smiled. “Remember how she watched you tirelessly, though she refused to speak to any of us? Despite your encouragement and Ruth’s persistent questions?”
“If only Elaina’s father would have mentioned she was deaf sometime before they were leaving, then we might have better persuaded her to join our game.”
“But when he did tell us, what did you do?”
“You know very well what I did. And it was hardly a sacrifice. I was growing too old for dolls anyway.”
A Well-Trained Lady (Seasons of Change Book 4) Page 9