“It was—”
“And do not take the blame for him. You are crafty, but not so much so that you could accomplish this without your father’s knowledge.” Mother placed an arm behind me, pushing me forward again.
Without a word, I led her to my room where Leah was hurrying to gather the last few items to place in my trunks.
“You have not finished yet?” Mother asked Leah, glancing around the small room with distaste.
“I just have, my lady.” Leah kept her eyes on the floor.
“Then I shall inform the servants to retrieve the trunks straightaway.” She paused, appraising my dress with disgust. “And do help Arabella change into something suitable. She looks dreadfully ridiculous in such a state.”
Leah curtsied her acknowledgment.
When Mother had walked from the room, I glanced around at the friendly room, wishing it was not time to leave it.
“Miss?” Leah knelt beside my trunk.
“Forgive me. I did not hear your question.”
“Which dress would you prefer? A traveling or a day dress?”
“My blue travelling dress if it’s accessible.”
Leah rummaged through the trunk, pulling out the chosen dress, as well as some necessary underthings, before rising and moving toward me. Though she kept her gaze down, the redness of one of her cheeks caught my eye.
“Whatever has happened, Leah?”
She lifted a hand to cover the red mark. “It is nothing, miss.”
My stomach knotted. “Did my mother do that?”
Leah’s silence confirmed it.
My throat went dry, knowing the fault was mine. “I am so sorry,” I whispered.
Leah drew in a shuddered breath. “Let me help you change.”
As she moved to lay the garments on the bed, I caught sight of my dreadfully ridiculous state in the vanity mirror. Augustus had just assured me that I looked beautiful just as I was, but my tangled, wind-blown hair and sun-bitten face were testament to what Mother had said. Augustus was not in love with me, but with the lady he thought me to be—a lady I scarcely recognized in my reflection.
With a fresh gown and a bonnet to cover my hastily arranged coiffure, I made my way downstairs to join the others. My heart nearly faltered as I stood outside the threshold of the drawing room, but with one last fortifying breath, I found the courage to step through on trembling legs.
The room fell silent as I walked in, but I did not let my gaze waver from Mother’s. “I am ready.”
“Are you truly leaving then?” Ruth asked, rising to her feet.
“Yes.” It was no easy feat concealing my utter disappointment as I took in her sorrow-filled face. “But I shall write to you very soon.”
Ruth gave a pout, and her gaze flickered behind me. “But what of Augustus and—” Mrs. Brundage placed a cautioning hand on Ruth’s shoulder, and to my great relief, Ruth held her tongue.
“Yes,” I said, sending a forced smile to where Augustus stood watching me with narrowed eyes, his arms crossed over his chest. “I should like to bid … Mr. Brundage farewell also.” Sensing Lord Thorton watching us, I dipped into a small curtsy. “Thank you for everything, sir.”
Augustus gave a subtle shake of his head as his only response, and I quickly turned from him, unable to bear the disenchantment in his eyes. Had I only kept my distance, I could have prevented his pain and my own. Such a fool I was. At least now Augustus would not become trapped in a marriage where he would soon grow to despise me.
“Well, then.” Lady Thorton rose to her feet. “Let us be on our way.” She paused briefly before Mrs. Brundage, her face void of emotion. “Thank you for your hospitality.”
Mrs. Brundage gave a nod of acknowledgment. “It was our pleasure.”
Filling the spot Lady Thorton had just left, Mother looked to Mrs. Brundage. “And thank you for taking care of Arabella when the Leavitts were no longer able to host her.”
Mrs. Brundage’s brow wrinkled, and she looked to Lady Thorton who waited impatiently by the drawing room door. “Of course.” Her words came hesitantly. “We were pleased to have her here.”
Mother reached out her arm to me, commanding me forward. “Come, Arabella.”
Unable to glance at the faces watching me for fear my heart would burst with shame, I moved to Mother’s side and followed her out the door behind Lady Thorton. Lord Thorton stepped in behind us.
The sunlight was now nauseatingly bright and the heat most unwelcome as we made our way to the carriage. Relieved to find Leah already positioned upon the coach box, I lowered my head, allowing my bonnet to block the world from view.
“Farewell!” Ruth called from the doorway.
Unable to resist, I glanced over my shoulder to find Ruth and Mrs. Brundage on the front steps. Ruth’s waving hand dropped to wipe her eyes, and my heart constricted.
Lord Thorton offered me his hand. “May I assist you?”
I glanced from his hand to our mothers already situated in the carriage and back to Ruth. “Forgive me. I only need a moment.”
He gave a nod, positioning himself to await my return.
Hurrying up the stairs, I didn’t hesitate to wrap my arms around Ruth’s neck with all the fervor of love I could muster. “Oh, my friend, how I shall miss you.”
She welcomed the embrace, sniffling into my ear. “And I, you.”
Mrs. Brundage wore a sad smile on her face. “Take care of yourself, my dear girl.”
“Thank you for everything. I hope you know …” My words trailed off, unable to find any acceptable reason to pardon my behavior and now the consequence of it.
“I do know.” Mrs. Brundage squeezed my hand in hers.
My gaze fell to the empty entry hall behind them, and my heart sank. “Tell Sarah I shall miss her also.” I swallowed. “And tell Augustus …” A tear escaped down my cheek, and I quickly brushed it away. “Just tell him that I hope he finds a woman deserving of him. And how very sorry I am.”
Mrs. Brundage’s lips turned downward at the corners, but she nodded her agreement.
“Arabella, dear.” Mother’s voice splintered through my hesitation. “Do make haste.”
With one last glance at the place where my treacherous heart was certain Augustus would be, I swallowed my disappointment and made my way back to Lord Thorton. “Forgive my delay. I …” I attempted to think of an excuse that would not make me appear foolishly sentimental and weak.
“You needed a proper goodbye,” he said, an expression of understanding on his face. He grinned at me, extending his hand. “I can understand that.”
Lady Thorton, on the other hand, appeared rightly cross as I settled into the rear-facing seat of the carriage next to Mother. “I still do not understand where the miscommunication took place.” Her consideration moved from Mother to me, as her son moved on to the bench next to her. The carriage started forward.
Mother’s eyes darted in my direction, letting me know that she intended to answer. “As I’ve thought about it, I believe there were simply too many last-minute changes occurring all at once.” She gave a small lift of her shoulders as the carriage rolled forward. “I had only just returned to London when I received your missive inquiring if Arabella and I could join you at Branbury Court early. Though I sent letters to both Arabella and Mr. Leavitt detailing our newly arranged plans, those letters obviously did not arrive in time. Nor did Mr. Leavitt’s letter relaying Arabella’s removal to Fairhaven, which I’m certain he wrote, reach me before my departure.” Mother shook her head. “The timing is all quite bizarre.”
The carriage swayed as we turned onto the main road, and I glanced out the window at Fairhaven. I hadn’t realized how fond I’d grown of the place until it disappeared from sight, and I knew I would likely never see it again. I lifted a hand to cover the ache in my heart that was threatening to consume me.
“And why did you not simply accompany the Leavitts to the coast?” Lady Thorton’s question was directed at me, forcing me f
rom my anguish. “It seems most unusual for a relative to situate you elsewhere without first obtaining your parents’ consent.”
I sensed Mother grow rigid at my side, and I knew exactly what lie was expected of me. I straightened my slumping shoulders and met Lady Thorton’s gaze. “With Mrs. Leavitt’s quickly declining health, Mr. Leavitt thought it best to spare my sensitive nature. Returning me to London hardly seemed ideal, knowing I would simply arrive in time to make the journey right back to Branbury.”
Lady Thorton’s head tipped to the side. “But why the Brundages?”
Mother leaned forward. “Well the—”
Lady Thorton lifted a hand to silence Mother, keeping her sharp focus fixed on me.
I suppressed my shock at Lady Thorton’s display of power over Mother. “Their location was ideal, being so near the Leavitts’ estate, but mostly because the Brundages’ niece, Ruth, was my dearest friend growing up in Bath.” My gaze flickered to Mother. I would not allow her to take Ruth from me. Not again. “Mother has always been so very fond of her, so I suppose it seemed a natural solution to Mr. Leavitt.”
Mother’s lips pulled tight into a sort of grimaced smile. “Ruth was always a delightful girl.” The glint in her eyes informed me she was up to something. “Though her past is a most unfortunate one.”
I gave a small shake of my head, willing her to stop.
She released an exaggerated sigh, her defiant gaze returning to Lady Thorton. “You may recall the Seton case that occurred eight years past?”
Lady Thorton looked to her son, who shook his head. “I don’t believe so.”
“It was all quite tragic, really. The Setons, Ruth’s parents, died in Mr. Seton’s bedchamber. The Coroner’s Court ruled it a murder and self-murder at the hand of Ruth’s father.”
“Oh, heavens,” Lady Thorton whispered, lifting a hand to cover her mouth. “Poor dear.”
I looked to Lady Thorton, hoping I had correctly discerned her feelings on the matter. “It was dreadful what happened. And I’m certain you can imagine what it could do to their daughter’s reputation. But my parents realized it was no fault of Ruth’s, so they have allowed us to maintain our relationship all these years.” I glanced back at Mother, reaching out to take hold of her hand in a false display of sincerity. “I feel so blessed to have a mother like her.”
Mother straightened, her hand clenching into a fist beneath mine. “It is I who is grateful for such an obedient daughter.”
Lady Thorton gave a thoughtful nod. “Why did you not tell us as much earlier, Lady Godwin?”
I placed my hand back in my lap. “Oh, she is far too modest to tout her own praises.”
Lady Thorton lifted her chin decisively. “Well, I think it is very noble of you, Lady Godwin.” Her gaze met mine. “And I do hope absconding with you like that has in no way jeopardized your relationship. We would have been more cautious had we known the particulars.”
Well aware I had accomplished my goal, I forced a smile to my unwilling lips. “I thank you for your sentiment, and I shall write to Ruth and ensure all is well. But she is the kindest person I know and will likely not think twice about it.” I glanced at Lord Thorton, but he watched me with such unwavering consideration that I looked to his mother again. “I do hope you know how sorry I am for this debacle. Especially when you have so much to do to prepare for your other guests.”
Lady Thorton hesitated only a moment before her posture relaxed slightly. “Well, it is done, so let us not speak of it further.”
Mother and I nodded our understanding.
“Oh, I have also received word that your friend, Lady Beatrice Hancock and her companion will be joining us after all.”
“Miss Marianne Browning?”
Lady Thorton gave a small lift of her shoulders. “I believe that was her name.”
“I shall be glad to see them.” And in part, it was the truth. The haunting look of disenchantment in Augustus’s eyes pierced me each time my thoughts returned to him, and I longed for something to distract me from the pain, to help me forget what anguish I had caused him. Perhaps Lady Beatrice and Miss Browning would help me rebuild some semblance of what my life had been before going to Fairhaven.
Chapter Nineteen
I pulled at the needle on my embroidery, my thoughts miles away at Fairhaven.
“Miss Godwin.”
When I lifted my gaze, Lady Beatrice was wearing an exasperated expression. “What is it?”
Lady Beatrice shook her head. “Did you not hear a thing I said?”
I dropped my needlework to my lap. “Forgive me. I was lost in thought.”
Lady Beatrice and Miss Browning shared a knowing glance before Lady Beatrice placed a stiff hand atop mine. “You have not been yourself since our arrival. What is the matter?”
“Nothing at all.”
Lady Beatrice scanned my masked expression and removed her hand. “I had asked you if you had noticed that Miss Hutchison wore that same day dress not two days past?”
I glanced over at Miss Hutchison who sat contentedly reading on her own, her light pink day dress hardly familiar to me. “She appears content with her appearance and likely does not care much for our opinion.”
Lady Beatrice nodded, as though my declaration had somehow proven her point. She lowered her voice even more. “I heard her mother speaking to some of the other ladies. Apparently, Miss Hutchison’s incessant reading has become quite the problem as she will speak about nothing but books.”
I released a slow breath. “And yet I can’t help but think such conversation is likely more stimulating than most.”
Lady Beatrice’s eyes flickered toward her, not at all affected by my declaration. “Well, she shall never find a husband with such untoward behavior. No man wants a wife that reads.”
I glanced down at my embroidery, attempting to conceal my irritation. “That is quite the generalization.”
“Name a man you know who would prefer it.”
I searched my thoughts. “Perhaps Mr. Morland.”
Lady Beatrice pursed her lips. “I suppose he may, but Mr. Morland is a ninny so he does not count. What are your thoughts, Marianne?” Lady Beatrice glanced back toward her friend, apparently needing a more accommodating opinion.
Miss Browning lifted her gaze readily. “My father nearly refused to teach us to read on the off chance we would become overly fond of it.”
Lady Beatrice nodded as though the admission had somehow proved her point. “It is lucky for me she holds no title, for I shall not find her seated near me at dinner. I cannot tolerate a bore.”
I could not sit by a moment longer and allow them to carry on so. Placing my sampler on the settee next to me, I glanced over at Miss Hutchison. “Pardon me.” Several ladies looked up from their stitching. “Miss Hutchison, is it?”
The young lady looked up from the pages of her book, an uncertain expression on her face. “It is.”
I smiled sweetly at her. “I was wondering if you would care to join us for a bit. We were just discussing how captivating your book appeared to be, and we hoped you would be willing to tell us about it.”
She looked slightly wary of the invitation. “I would be delighted to join you.” She stood and started toward us.
Lady Beatrice scowled at me, gesturing for Miss Browning to scoot so that Miss Hutchison could take the seat farthest from her on the settee.
I held out my hand for her book as she approached. “Evelina,” I read, examining the front cover before handing it back. “And you say it is good?”
She took the book from me, clasping it to her chest. “It is better than good.”
I gestured for her to take a seat. “Will you not tell us about it? I fear we are in desperate need of amusement.”
With only one hesitant glance toward Lady Beatrice, she began. Miss Hutchison spoke of a young heroine’s entrance into Society, Evelina’s innocent nature leading to constant ridicule as well as hilarious blunders. My thoughts returned to Ruth
time and time again as she spoke, and I could not help but laugh and worry along with Miss Hutchison’s explanation.
“But what of Lord Orville?” Lady Beatrice asked, apparently forgetting her disinterest.
Miss Hutchison lifted her shoulders. “I haven’t read far enough to know.”
Miss Browning sighed dreamily. “You will tell us when you have finished, won’t you?”
“Of course I shall.” Miss Hutchison stood, looking down at me. “Thank you for inviting me to join you, Miss Godwin.”
The sincerity in her words warmed my heart, and I realized I felt more myself in this moment than I had felt in days. Though Mother would be vexed with my social blunder of associating with an outsider, I thought of Augustus. Perhaps he would have been proud of me for using my influence to lift another. Not that such a small act would budge the scale of wrongdoings. “Thank you for sharing the story with us, Miss Hutchison.”
Lady Beatrice released a thoughtful hum. “I suppose if all books were so entertaining as that one, I would not oppose reading so much.”
I could not hide my delight at my small success. “I’m certain Miss Hutchison could provide you with recommendations of equal caliber.”
Lady Beatrice lifted her chin. “Do you know when the gentlemen are set to return? I thought there was to be a picnic.”
“I believe the picnic is set for Thursday.”
Lady Beatrice released an overdone sigh. “May we at least go outside for a turn about the grounds? I feel so cooped up.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, I stood. “That sounds ideal. Shall we?”
The fresh air engulfed me as we wandered out of doors. I closed my eyes, lifting my face to the sun.
“You don’t wish to freckle, do you?” Lady Beatrice watched me with an odd expression.
“If it means my skin can feel the warmth of a summer’s afternoon, I shouldn’t mind at all.”
Lady Beatrice secured her bonnet more tightly under her chin, as though my very suggestion might freckle her.
Lord Thorton’s booming laugh sent us turning. A group of more than a dozen gentlemen were walking toward us from the stables.
A Well-Trained Lady (Seasons of Change Book 4) Page 21