Lord Thorton leaned in close. “I believe my friend finds your friend very intriguing.”
I forced a smile to my lips. “I believe you are right. And I do not oppose it in the least.”
“But what do you say of her cousin? He looks far from thrilled by the notion.”
I followed Lord Thorton’s gaze to Augustus, whose unwavering focus on Mr. Green was thick with distrust.
“I believe his misgiving is not particularly Mr. Green himself, but his dislike of any man showing interest in Ruth.”
Lord Thorton laughed, causing Augustus’s glare to slide to us. “I shall not complain, not when he has proven himself impartial to my regard for you.”
I looked away, not wishing for Lord Thorton to perceive how distressing his comment had been. “Had you thought it would be otherwise?”
“I admit, I had. I saw so much life in you those brief moments at Fairhaven, but when we returned to Branbury the light seemed to dim.”
My gaze remained forward.
“That is why I invited Miss Seton and Mr. Brundage here. I needed to see the light again.” He paused. “And I needed to see which of them ignited it in you.”
I drew in a slow breath and looked at him. “And did you find what you hoped?”
“I believe so.” He studied me. “Unless you wish to inform me otherwise?”
I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak.
He smiled, that all-too-familiar glint in his eyes. “When does your father arrive again?”
My chest constricted. “Friday morning.”
“Very good. I am eager to speak with him.” Lord Thorton paused. “Do you care to play a hand with me?”
“I fear I will be a very ill partner tonight. I’m far too tired to think clearly.”
Lord Thorton scanned the large room where six tables had been set up, most of the chairs already filled with guests playing cards. “As your friend has commandeered my typical partner, I shall convince Mother to play a hand with me. She always claims I neglect her when I’m selecting a partner despite knowing she is superior.” He chuckled. “If only that were the truth. But now seems as good a time as any to lose some money for the sake of appeasement.”
“Is it not amazing the things we will do to content our parents?”
Though I’d not meant the comment as a jest, Lord Thorton’s laughter trailed behind him as he crossed the large room.
He easily persuaded Lady Thorton to join him before aiming his smile at Mother. Mother gave an imploring nod to me, indicating she wished for me to join also. With no other option, I started toward them when, to my surprise, Lord Hancock neared the small group. I halted, waiting to see if I had been offered a windfall from Lady Beatrice’s father. To my great relief, she stepped in next to Lord Hancock and meandered to the table with the others where Lord Hancock pulled a chair out for her. With one last warning glare in my direction, Mother sat, her back to me.
“What do you know of Mr. Green?” Augustus asked, stepping near me.
My heart raced foolishly at his proximity, and I took a small step away to settle it. “He is a gentleman.” Augustus’s attention remained fixed on Ruth and Mr. Green as I continued. “As well as the second son of a baron.”
“And that’s it? You are encouraging Ruth toward Mr. Green based on those two facts alone?”
“Does it not say something about his character that Lord Thorton holds him as a close friend and has since childhood?”
“No. It does not. The only comfort I take in any of it is that Ruth has no fortune to tempt a second son of a baron.”
I swallowed and clasped my hands tightly in front of me, fixing my gaze back on Ruth and Mr. Green.
“Bella? What have you done?”
I could not look at him. “I mentioned that Ruth could inherit a small sum if the court case is overturned.”
“A small sum? How small did you say?”
I bit at the inside of my lip. “Perhaps I did exaggerate a bit, but I did it for Ruth.”
Augustus took a step toward me. “Please tell me you are jesting?”
I lifted my chin. “I don’t see the harm in it.”
“Do you not?” Augustus ran a hand through his hair. “Look at me, Bella.”
Tears welled in my eyes, and I shook my head.
“Unless you desire a scene, please look at me.”
Ever so slowly, I met his gaze, blinking back my tears.
“You had no right to do that—to tell them of the court case and Ruth’s lost inheritance. She may never get that back.”
“I simply wanted her to be accepted.” I glanced around the room to make certain we had not drawn anyone’s attention. “It was only a matter of time before everyone here discovered her past, and I thought it would be most beneficial—”
“For who, Bella? Was it most beneficial for Ruth or for you?”
Anger surged through me. “I would not have been forced to say such a thing had you declined Lord Thorton’s invitation like any reasonable man would have done. Surely you are just as much at fault as I am.”
“Do you hear yourself?” Augustus shook his head. “I feel I hardly know you.”
“This is me, Augustus.” A tear slipped down my cheek, and I swiped it away. “Do you now see why I could not marry you? You were made to believe I’m still the girl I once was, but I’m not.” My voice faltered. “I fooled you, and I fooled myself. It is better that you realized the truth before you were stuck in a marriage with someone you would certainly grow to despise.”
“Is that why you left Fairhaven?” Augustus’s expression softened, but I did not answer. “It’s not true you know. Not a word of it.”
“It is.” I lifted my shoulders and shook my head in defeat. “And I have no power to change it.”
“We always have the power to change.”
“No, we do not. I do not.”
Augustus released a heavy exhale, staring vacantly at the others. The mindless chatter buzzed in my head, and all I wanted was to be rid of it. My hands were trembling, and I drew in a slow breath, suppressing my rising emotions. Better numb than mad.
“I never thought you unchanged.” Augustus’s voice was gentle and close. “I love you, Bella. Not solely the girl you were, nor the woman you’ve become, but the whole of you. Everything that brought you to this moment and everything that will follow after. Forever.” My soul quivered at his declaration, but I would not look at him lest he discovered it. “Despite what you believe, you deserve to be loved that fully. Not in spite of your imperfections, but in addition to them.”
How I longed to believe him, but the imperfections he spoke of were only a small portion of the ones I possessed. Perhaps he could love a woman who had lied, who had showed she cared too much for status and fortune and reputation. But to love a woman who had formed a reputation for hurting others intentionally, who was continually selfish and false and manipulative? That was impossible.
“If you knew …” My voice trailed off. He would not understand. I did not wish him to understand. For I would turn out no different than Mother, just as she had not deviated from her mother. I already was more like her than I cared to admit.
“There you are, Mr. Brundage.” Lady Beatrice walked toward us, a sultry smile on her face. “I need a partner for whist. What say you?”
His eyes flitted to me. “I had not intended to play this evening,” he said, barely able to conceal his irritation at her arrival.
Lady Beatrice glanced between us with interest. “Have I interrupted something?”
“No,” I said, trying to appear unaffected. “Not at all.”
Apparently appeased by my assurances, Lady Beatrice’s beseeching eyes settled back on Augustus. “I truly cannot convince you?”
“I fear I’m in no mood for games.”
Augustus glanced at Ruth, and Lady Beatrice followed his gaze. “I see you are once again playing the role of the vigilant protector.” She fluttered her lashes at him, but his eyes did n
ot return to her. She stepped to his side and placed a hand on his arm. “In that case, it might be relevant to know that it was Mr. Green and Miss Seton who I had hoped to oppose. Surely that would be a more beneficial location for you than standing all the way over here with only Miss Godwin for company.”
It was my turn to conceal my irritation.
Augustus glanced down at Lady Beatrice’s hand before meeting her gaze. “I prefer to watch their interactions from a distance. But I thank you for the offer.”
I stepped toward her. “If Mr. Brundage is certain of his intentions, I would gladly partner with you, Lady Beatrice.” If I could not right my many wrongs, I could at least ensure Mr. Green’s intentions toward Ruth were sincere. Besides, I could not trust myself to stand here a moment longer with Augustus and his heart wrenching declarations.
Lady Beatrice gave a small pout. “Very well then, Miss Godwin. I believe the game they are observing is nearly finished.”
Not willing to glimpse Augustus’s disappointment, I lowered my head and stepped in next to her.
Ruth pulled down the coverlet and sprang into bed.
Leah pressed back a smile. “Do you require anything else, Miss Godwin?”
“No. Thank you.”
Leah dipped into a brief curtsy and left.
I glanced at Ruth sprawled on the bed, smiling up at the ceiling foolishly. “You seem content.”
She lifted onto her elbows. “Mr. Green has told me that he prefers my company over that of any other woman. Can you even believe it? Someone prefers me. Not to just one, but all other women.”
“You should not be the least bit surprised.” And yet, even as I spoke the words, I could not push the thought of Mr. Green as a fortune seeker from my mind. I had watched Ruth and him closely all evening, and he seemed genuine in his interactions, yet did people not often think me genuine? “Though, despite his declarations, you must be cautious.”
I climbed in the bed next to her, and she rolled to her side, propping her head up with her arm. “But you have been singing his praises since I arrived.”
“I believe the prospect of us marrying such close friends may have influenced my regard for him.”
Ruth’s eyes gleamed in the candlelight. “I did not even think of that. How wonderful would that be? Dearest friends marrying likewise.”
I rebuked myself for having put such an influential thought in her mind. “Yes, but that is not a reason to marry someone. Remember what Augustus said about truly knowing a man before you fall in love with him? Though I believe Mr. Green to be a good man, it is sometimes difficult to truly know a person’s intentions.”
“Yet what reason could he have for falsehood? I have no fortune, at least none as of yet. And there seems to be nothing else he would gain from pursuing me.”
I bit back my admission, as well as my comment regarding what some men hoped to achieve through such endeavors. She need not worry herself, for I would keep a vigilant watch on them both. “Regardless, do promise you’ll be careful.”
Ruth leaned back and pulled a pillow over her chest, squeezing it with a ridiculous smile on her face. “Very well.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
The servants buzzed around us, attempting to keep our plates brimming and our cups full as we reclined on the blankets that had been laid out for us.
Lady Thorton shooed away a young servant attempting to place another sandwich on her plate. “Would anyone care for a game of bouts-rimés or perhaps charades?” She glanced around at the idle members of our group, who were now too full and too hot for any sort of exertion. “There is also rowing on the lake. And there are wild blackberry hedges nearby if anyone cares to see if they are ripe.”
Ruth tapped my arm. “Blackberries sound delightful. Would you care to go with me?”
Before I had a chance to convince her against the idea of venturing out in this heat, Mr. Green stood up and reached out a hand for her. “I will accompany you, Miss Seton.”
I suppressed a groan, watching her stand. “As will I.”
“Well, I cannot let you eat all the berries without me.” Lord Thorton rose and extended a hand to aid me in standing. “Does anyone else care to join us?”
A few others nodded their agreement and stood.
Ruth faced Augustus. “Do you wish to join us, Augi?”
I followed her gaze to find Augustus leaning back on his elbows watching us. Every interaction with him tore at my heart, so when he shifted forward, I knew I could not allow for him to come along. “Ruth,” I said, my voice loud enough to carry, “your cousin looks the picture of leisure. Perhaps if I assure him that I will be most vigilant in my care of you, he need not be troubled to move from where he is.”
Augustus’s eyes narrowed.
“Unless you do not trust me, Mr. Brundage?”
The collective regard of the group shifted to Augustus. “I’ve seldom had reason not to.”
His declaration stung, but I offered him a tight smile.
“Let’s be off then.” Lord Thorton extended his elbow to me, and I took hold of it.
We walked along the shore of the lake for a while before coming to the end of a grove of trees. A large area opened up that was overgrown with countless blackberry bushes as tall as Lord Thorton.
“What a sight,” Ruth exclaimed from Mr. Green’s arm. “There are so many bushes, it would take all of us days to pick the berries from them. Too bad I did not think to bring a basket for collecting.”
Mr. Green looked down at her. “And yet, the delight of eating blackberries straight off the bush is one of those pleasures best seized in the moment.”
Ruth smiled up at him innocently. “I believe you must be right. We have blackberries at Fairhaven, and also bilberries, though they usually aren’t ripe until the end of July.” Ruth examined the blackberry bush they had just stopped in front of, her shoulders falling. “Oh, these are not yet ripe either.”
“There are some,” Mr. Green said, plucking one and holding it out to Ruth. “We simply must search a little harder for them.”
Ruth bit into the berry, her face alight. “Oh, that is delicious!”
Lord Thorton searched the bush, located one, and popped it in his mouth. “It seems the most logical plan is to all spread out and search,” he said, glancing at the others. “And, just so everyone is aware, there are wild strawberries that should be ripe, if you look for them.”
The small party dispersed, and I led Lord Thorton to the bush where Ruth and Mr. Green were now searching.
“Here’s a patch.” Lord Thorton stopped to grab a couple from the top of the bush. “It seems the ones with the most sun ripen first.”
I pulled off my gloves, and he placed three berries in my palm. The warmth of them tantalized me, but I resisted the urge to eat them all at once. The sweet juice of the first teased my tongue, and I ate another. “These are delightful.”
Lord Thorton continued searching the higher areas of the bush, alternating between eating them and handing them to me to partake. I glanced over at Ruth a few bushes away, laughing as she tossed a berry at Mr. Green. Though Ruth was a tad excessive in her flirtations, she also managed an air of innocence that seemed to balance it. She tossed another berry and started into a fit of giggles.
Lord Thorton followed my gaze. “Would it not be a pleasing arrangement if friends were to marry friends?”
“It would have its benefits. Though we must not be too hasty in our hope as Mr. Green and Ruth have only just met.” I summoned all my courage, knowing I was running out of time to secure Lord Thorton. “And I have not yet received an offer myself.”
Lord Thorton took hold of my hand and led me through a gap in the hedge. My heart pounded in my chest, but not in a way that made me feel alight and giddy. “You have not yet received an offer because I have not spoken to your father. But I intend to do so first thing when he arrives tomorrow.”
I forced a smile to my lips. “You do me a great honor.”
L
ord Thorton laughed. “You needn’t sound so formal about it. I’m asking him for your hand because I wish to marry you. We will make a good match, and heaven knows it’s high time I settled down.”
Despite Lord Thorton’s reasonings being identical to my own, my stomach dropped.
He closed the space between us, placing a hand on my waist. “Are you pleased?”
My head spun, and I placed my hands on his arms to steady myself. “Exceptionally,” I lied, my chest rising and falling, but not from longing.
He glanced down at my hands grasping his waistcoat sleeves. “I feel the same.” Before I had time to prepare myself, he pulled me forward, pressing his lips roughly against mine. My breath hitched, and I stiffened, causing him to pull back briefly, a look of utter amusement on his face. “It seems not all the rumors are true.”
I knew his meaning, but I could not bring myself to tell him that despite all my offers and my reputation, I’d only ever been kissed by one man. A man whose kiss felt nothing like his.
He stepped close again. “Do not worry. I will be gentler now that I’m aware of your innocence.”
My lip quivered, but what choice did I have? I could not leave now and risk everything. I closed my eyes as he drew close, attempting to soften my lips as his met mine. His mouth moved in some sort of rhythm, and I attempted to follow his movements, counting the seconds until he released me again.
He looked down at me, a wicked smile on his lips. “I believe you will suit me just fine.”
I stilled. “I should go check on Ruth.”
“Don’t be too hasty in your pursuit; they could be finding their own enjoyment.”
Bile rose in my throat. Without a backward glance, I left Lord Thorton. “Ruth?” I searched where she had been only minutes before. “Ruth?” I attempted to keep my voice calm, though my pulse was accelerating. Why had I ever left her?
“Has Miss Seton come this way?” I asked a few members of our group that were still working their way down the bushes. They all shook their heads.
I scanned the area again, wondering which direction to continue my search when I caught sight of Augustus walking toward us with Lady Beatrice on his arm.
A Well-Trained Lady (Seasons of Change Book 4) Page 25