“No.” Wyatt set the coffee down. “But I know enough men who have to know it isn’t pretty, or fun, or manly.”
“Doesn’t matter, I’ll do it anyway.” He took a bite of egg, chewed, and swallowed. “I’ll do it a million times if I have to.”
Wyatt winced, avoiding his eyes. “I’ll never understand love.”
“Yeah, me either.” He sat, eating the rest of the omelet. “Damn, this is good.”
“Thanks,” he said. “These arms are good for more than tossing a ball around.”
Eric took another bite, saying nothing.
“I’m glad you called me last night. It’s been a while since we hung out.” Wyatt perched on the edge of the counter, running his hand through his hair. His muscles were hard and large, yet he still had that slim physique most quarterbacks held on to.
Eric swallowed. “Yeah, man, it has.”
“Anyway, when you were sleeping, a bike messenger stopped by with this.” Wyatt picked up a yellow mailing envelope. “I thought it was weird, since it’s Sunday, but he said it was an important document, so I signed for it for you.”
Eric took it, staring down at the envelope with a mixture of satisfaction and dread.
Inside was his signed contract, promising the next four years of his life away to George, Wallace & Markson as a junior partner. He’d signed it the day he “met” Shelby. This was what he’d been fighting for, working toward, for years. It was his dreams coming to fruition.
He should be happy.
He was…
But he also wasn’t.
“Shit,” he muttered under his breath, setting it down.
Wyatt frowned. “What is it?”
“My contract. I made junior partner.”
“Well, hell, congrats!” He clapped Eric on the back. When Eric nodded but didn’t crack a smile, he studied him closely. “In my world, a contract is a good thing.”
“In mine, too,” Eric mumbled.
“Then why do you look like you received a death threat instead of a steady job?”
Eric stared at the envelope, not speaking, and not looking at his brother. He couldn’t right now. Instead, he stood and picked up his empty plate. “Thanks for breakfast, and for last night. I need to go talk to Shelby now, though.”
Wyatt stood, crossing his arms. “Want me to hang around, or go? We can catch the Hawks game after, if you want. I have great courtside seats.”
The old Eric would turn him down, go speak to Shelby, and then close himself off from the world. He’d meant what he said, though. He didn’t want to be that guy. He wanted to be better. “You know what? Yeah. I’d like that.”
Wyatt smiled. “Really? Awesome. I’ll wait here.” As Eric headed for the door, Wyatt called out, “And Eric?”
“Yeah?” he asked, his hand on the knob.
“Grovel. Grovel a lot. You were an ass last night.”
Eric winced. “Yeah. I will.” He walked out into the hallway, took the few steps needed to reach her door, took another few seconds to breathe deep and decide on the best course of action in handling this situation, and then knocked.
It took her five seconds to open the door.
It was the longest five seconds of his damn life.
Once the door opened, she stood there looking gorgeous as hell, while he felt like he was fucking dying. She wore a pair of leggings that hugged her curves, a loose black tank top, and her long brown hair in a ponytail. Her brown eyes were deep and dark, and her cheeks a light pink. She looked like she hadn’t missed a minute of sleep, while he felt like he hadn’t found any. Without even the slightest trace of makeup, she was the prettiest woman he’d ever seen.
“Shelby.”
She leaned on the doorjamb, not inviting him in but not exactly shutting him out, either. “Feeling better?” she asked, her voice soft.
“Kind of,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “Look, whatever I said last night—”
“It’s fine.” She crossed her arms. “You were drunk.”
“I was.” He cleared his throat. “But it’s still no excuse for whatever I might have said or done.”
“You were angry.”
He hesitated. “No… I was just…just…”
“Angry. You were angry.”
He closed the distance between them. “Fine. I was angry.”
“Why were you angry?” she asked slowly.
Sometime between his apartment and her door, he’d decided to play along with what she so clearly wanted. If she didn’t want to tell him she was moving, then he’d wait until she did. If she did. If that made it easier for her, then so be it. He’d make it easier. “It had nothing to do with you, actually. I lost a client.” That was true. He’d lost a client.
It was why he’d shown up at her place early.
But he hadn’t given a damn.
She frowned. “Really?”
“Yeah. Selfserve, Inc. went with another firm. I tried to shrug it off and come see you, but I was in too bad of a mood to talk, so I left and went out with my brother.” He offered her a small smile. “And the rest, you already know.”
She lifted her chin. “That’s your story?”
“Yeah.”
“Bullshit.” She came forward, poking him in the chest with her finger. “Tell me the truth. We promised each other we wouldn’t lie.”
He laughed. He couldn’t help it. “Wow. That’s rich, coming from you.”
“Excuse me?” she asked, rearing back.
“You heard me.”
She stared at him a second, seeming at a loss for words. “If you have something to say, then say it.”
“I’ve got nothing to say. Just like you, right? I mean, I’m not the one who made plans to leave town and didn’t even bother to mention it to you.” Well, shit. He hadn’t meant to say that. “I mean—”
“You meant exactly what you said.”
“You should have told me,” he finally conceded, done pretending he didn’t know. Clearly, he wasn’t good at it, probably because he wasn’t a fucking liar. Never had been. “Why didn’t you tell me? Were you just going to slip away one morning, and never even fucking say good-bye?”
“What? No.”
He swallowed hard and prepared to lay his heart on the damn floor. “Then tell me why you didn’t think I could be trusted with the news that you got your dream job. Tell me why you thought that wasn’t something you should tell me, because from where I’m standing, it means one of two things. Either you didn’t trust me to be happy for you, which is bullshit, or you didn’t think I warranted any information because I don’t matter to you, and that fucking hurts.”
His damn voice cracked on the last word.
Son of a bitch.
Chapter Twenty
Shelby stared at the man who was looking at her like she’d ripped his heart out, and she had no idea how to fix it, or what to say. Last night, she’d gone to bed angry, but now she saw what he saw, through his eyes, and it wasn’t pretty. Did he actually think she would leave without saying good-bye? That he meant so little to her?
Inconceivable.
Clearly, though, he didn’t know that.
Glancing around, she saw an elderly neighbor open her door and peer out. She must have heard voices and decided to investigate. A conversation like this needed to be done in private, so she caught Eric’s hand and dragged him into her place. He went along silently, his calloused hand stiff inside hers, but after a moment he closed his fingers around her securely.
After she shut the door behind them, she grabbed his other hand, too, and locked eyes with him. “I would have never left without telling you I was going. Never.”
He flexed his jaw. “You were going to tell me?”
“Of course I was going to tell you.” She licked her lips. “What we have between us, it’s not something I would walk away from without a word. You…I…we mean something, Eric.”
After closing his eyes for a second, he nodded. “Do you forg
ive me for getting drunk last night, and acting like an asshole? I swear it wasn’t because you were leaving. I’m happy for you.”
For some reason that hurt her heart, him saying that, which made no sense.
What did she want him to do? Yell at her? Scream at her for following her dreams? Beg her to stay? “Thank you,” she managed to say. “It’s pretty exciting.”
He cupped her cheek, stepping close enough that she could smell his cologne. She never wanted to forget the scent, or the way it made her feel. Just having him close enough to touch made her skin tingle, and her heart speed up, and her mouth water. It made her come alive. “Do you forgive me, Shel?”
No one had ever called her Shel before, and if she had it her way, no one else ever would. “There’s nothing to forgive,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “If you say you’re happy for me, I believe you. I have no reason not to believe you.”
He leaned down, brushing his mouth across hers. “I can make it up to you. I know the perfect way. Mind-blowing orgasms.”
“Well, I mean, if you insist…” She rose on tiptoe, latching on, refusing to let go because, God, she needed him right now. Needed this. An orgasm or two wouldn’t hurt, either.
Last night had been the first night she spent without him since they’d started sleeping together, and to be honest, it hadn’t been a good one. She’d barely slept, and when she had, she kept waking up and reaching for him, feeling his absence when she found the other side of the bed cold. They might have only been together for a short time, but that time had been pretty frigging amazing, and not having him there beside her left her feeling empty.
Alone.
Unhappy.
His hand slid down her back, cupped her butt, and he lifted her in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, and held on for dear life. She didn’t want to spend another night feeling that way. She didn’t want to let go. She didn’t want to…
She didn’t want to move.
Didn’t want to leave him.
It had never been more clear to her than it was now, with him supporting her and his mouth on hers stealing her breath away, that she didn’t want to go away and leave this behind. That she didn’t want to leave him behind. Eric was everything she didn’t even know she wanted. Against all rhyme or reason, against all logic, she’d gone and fallen in love with him, and there were only two obvious responses to that: ignore it and go, or accept it and stay.
She wanted to stay.
She wanted to love him.
If she stayed, she was giving up a job that she might love, but if she left, she was giving up a once in a lifetime chance at love. The kind of love that most people only dreamed of. If she stayed, she was gaining so much more than a job, or a new hometown.
She was getting Eric.
He lifted her onto the kitchen counter, resting her on the edge as he pressed his hardness against her. His hands moved over her body, leaving fire in their wake, and she arched her back to get closer to him. It wasn’t close enough. Threading her fingers through his blond hair, she moaned, sliding her tongue inside his mouth. He rocked his hips against her and slid his fingers between them, teasing her with hard, quick strokes. Digging her nails into his scalp, she cried out as he kept touching her, pushing her over the edge slowly until everything exploded, and she came.
His grip on her hardened possessively, and he ended the kiss, dropping his forehead onto hers, his fingers still pressed against her core. She rocked her hips forward, riding the orgasm out until the end. “Eric.”
He kissed her nose, smiling. “Orgasm number one, complete.”
“It was a good one,” she said breathlessly.
“I never thought I could feel this way. Not in a million years.” He ran his thumb over her bottom lip. “The way you make me feel, like I’ve been lost all these years and only now found myself because of you, is something I didn’t think existed. But it does. It’s real.”
That wasn’t an admission of love, but the way he looked at her, like she was his world, was enough for her. If she wasn’t brave enough to reach out and grab what she wanted, without assurances from him that he felt the same, then she didn’t deserve it. She wanted Eric Hamilton. Wanted to grab him and never let go. It was time to tell him.
“I don’t want to go,” she blurted out.
“Okay,” he murmured, his fingers skimming down her thigh and behind her knee, clearly mistaking her meaning. “We don’t have to. I can make love to you right here on the—”
“No, I don’t want to go to Texas anymore.” She rested her hands on his shoulders and smiled. Though it had taken her a while to accept this was what she wanted, now that she had, she felt free. “I think that’s why I didn’t tell you yet, because deep down, I knew that I didn’t want to leave you. That I wanted to stay here. I just had to think it over for a bit.”
He stared at her, not moving. “You want to stay.”
“I want to be with you, and see what happens. I want to hold on to the way you make me feel, and not be scared. I don’t want to just stand there on the edge of that cliff anymore. I want to jump off, and let you catch me. I…I…” She let out a nervous laugh, pushing her hair behind her ear and ducking her head down shyly before lifting it with determination. “I love you, Eric Hamilton, and I know we promised not to do that, not to love each other, and I know I’m breaking our number one rule, but I can’t help it. I couldn’t help but fall in love with you, and I’m not sorry. You showed me I was living in fear, in a shell, and I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to be scared. I want to be with you.”
He stared.
Then he stared some more.
And even more.
It was unnerving.
The silence stretched on for so long, with no end in sight, that she was beginning to wish this was a TV show, and she could rewind back to the time before she blurted out her feelings like that. He’d told her he didn’t do love, or relationships, so what made her think he would change his mind for her? Why would he? God, she was stupid.
So frigging stupid.
She swallowed hard, wishing he’d say something, anything, that didn’t make her feel like she’d just flung herself off a cliff without a bungee cord. “Eric…?”
Her voice seemed to snap him out of it.
“I…” He shook himself and stepped back, running his hand through his hair. “Jesus, Shel. I…I don’t know what to say.”
She wrapped her arms around herself, remaining on the countertop where he’d put her before she opened her stupid mouth. “Just say what you’re thinking.”
“I’m thinking…” He hesitated. “I’m thinking if you stay you’ll hate me, and yourself, and I can’t let that happen. No way in hell.”
“I won’t. This is what I want.” She caught his shoulders and locked eyes with him. His were troubled. Stormy. Dark gray. “Listen to me. I want this. I want you. I love you.”
“You can’t stay,” he said, locking eyes with her. “You’re not staying.”
She bit down hard on her lip. “Listen, this isn’t what I was talking about when I asked you to make sure I didn’t fall for you. This is different. I thought this city was making me miserable, that I couldn’t be happy here. But I was wrong. It isn’t the city’s fault that I wasn’t happy, it was mine. I was running from the wrong things.”
He let out a harsh laugh. “No, you were running from something you didn’t like, toward something you did. You got it. You got the job. You need to go do it. We can still talk after you go, if you want. We can even try taking what we have into a long-distance thing, and see how it goes.”
She held her hand out, her heart wrenching. “I don’t want to try things out long-distance. I don’t want to be separated from you. I thought I had to leave the city to be happy, but I don’t. I just…I just needed you.”
“Shit.” He let out a shaky breath. “Shel—”
“Do you want to be with me, Eric?”
&n
bsp; He made an angry sound. “You know I do.”
She grabbed his hands, squeezing. “Look. Neither of us asked for this, but we got it. You like me. I like you. We want to be together, so we might as well be together now, without any games, just the way we like it, right?”
“Shel…” He turned his hands in hers, entwining their fingers. “Let’s try long-distance instead. We can be together, and FaceTime every night. I can come visit you, and you can come see me, and we can see where this goes.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to do long-distance. I want you, not some cold carbon copy of you on my phone.”
“You can have me.” He forced a smile. “You do have me. But we need to stick to the plan. You go try out the job, and see how you like it. Give life in a small town an honest chance, with us as a long-distance couple. If you still feel that way, like you want to come back and be here with me…then come back. But do it for you, not me. You can’t just walk away from this opportunity. Not for me.”
“It’s not for you. It’s for me.”
He continued on, ignoring her. “After you go, we’ll talk every day, and—”
“It’s not enough. I want you beside me, making me laugh.” She ran her finger over his knuckles. “You showed me what it’s like to have someone by my side who is fair and funny. You showed me how great life can be with the right person. I love you, and all I’m asking is for you to maybe love me back someday. For that opportunity. Please. I love you—”
“Don’t say that again.” He dropped her hands and stepped back. That little bit of extra distance between them said more than any words he might have said instead, and so did the way he let go of her—like he was letting go forever. “You’re going to Texas, and I’m going to wave as you drive away, as promised, and that’s that. If you don’t want to try long-distance, then fine. We won’t do it. This will be good-bye. But you’re still going.”
She stiffened, anger finally taking over the pain trying to rip her in half. “You can’t tell me what to do. If I want to stay, I’ll stay. You can’t make me do anything I don’t want to do.”
Romancing the Bachelor (A Hamilton Family Series) Page 13