by Ella Miles
My body trembles, holding onto Mila, as the tears begin burning my eyes.
Mila wraps her arms tighter around my neck, and I grip her closer to my body.
“It’s okay. You saved me,” she whispers, but her voice is shaky.
“I’m never letting you go again.”
I see the tears in her eyes again. I was strong before when she cried, but I can’t be strong again. The reality of the situation has sunk in.
“Ace, I need you to talk to me,” Abri pleads, trying to grab my shoulder to turn my attention to her instead of Mila.
“Fuck off, Abri,” I say, carrying Mila toward my motorcycle.
I set Mila down gently on the back of my motorcycle and hand her a helmet. When she puts it on, I ensure it’s fastened securely. Then I kiss the tears on her cheek, even as my own tears stream down my face.
“Take me home, Knight.”
I feel a knot in my stomach and an ache in my throat as she says home. My place is her home. She has nothing else. No apartment, no dorm room. Only a rusted out Subaru to return to because of me.
I need to fix that, along with everything else I’ve fucked up in her life, but for now, I need to make her mine.
I climb on in front of her, and she wraps her hands tightly around my waist without protest. Then we are gone. I drive just fast enough to get us home quickly, but not enough to scare her. That’s the last thing I want.
We ride in silence, only the wind and sound of engines purring around us to keep us company. It doesn’t matter that we can’t speak. Our bodies say enough.
We are broken.
We are hurting.
Only the other person can heal us.
I pull in front of my building, not caring there isn’t a parking spot. I don’t wait for the valet to take my motorcycle. They will get it or they won’t. I have more than enough money to buy hundreds of motorcycles if I want. I don’t care if this one gets stolen.
All I care about is getting Mila, naked and writhing underneath me in my bed. I take her hand, a gesture that a couple of nights ago would have scared her off, but tonight is more than welcome.
I don’t know what has been going on in her head on the thirty-minute drive from the mountains to my building. I don’t know if she wants me. I don’t know if she wants to take a hot bath and be left alone. But I’m not sure I can leave her alone if that’s what she needs. It will take everything inside of me to leave her for even a moment.
It’s not about sex, although I’m desperate to be inside her. Feel her wet walls clenching around me as I make her come. Knowing that the pleasure I’m giving her helps ease the pain she’s feeling. I need her close by. I need to know she’s still breathing, her heart still beating. I need to protect her at all costs.
We enter the elevator with another couple. I grip her hand tighter, needing my lips on her, but afraid to scare her away. Neither of us has spoken since we got on the motorcycle.
Our eyes meet, and I see the desire mixed with the fear. I wish I could take away the fear, but I’m afraid it’s going to stay with her a lot longer than the desire ever will.
Mila moves her body in front of me, she grabs both of my arms and drapes them over her shoulders. I pull her body flush against mine as she leans into my body. It’s the most intimate thing we’ve done, and she’s sat half naked on my lap and kissed my stomach. But this moment is different. She’s letting me in even though she knows I can hurt her.
And I no longer want to hurt her.
The only way to not hurt her is to leave. Get out of her life. Because if I stay, she’s doomed.
I’m a selfish bastard though; I can’t leave.
The couple gets off, and Mila pushes her ass against my swollen cock.
“Mila,” I warn. She’s lighting a fire, and I won’t be able to stop if she goes much further.
The elevator doors open on my floor.
“I need you, Knight. Don’t hold back.”
“You sure? Your smart mouth won’t be able to save you once we start.”
She takes my hand lifting it to her mouth and kisses the palm of my hand sweetly like the innocent girl she is. Then, she has my pointer finger in her mouth, sucking viciously, swirling her tongue over the tip.
“I’m sure.”
Fuck.
I grab her hips at the same time she jumps, wrapping her thin legs around me. She’s a stick. I don’t know how she was able to hold onto the rock as long as she did.
I slam her body against the door of my apartment and curse as I try to dig my keys out of my pocket as her lips suck on my neck. I regret not taking up the building manager’s offer to install a keyless entry for me. The key finally grants us entry before I do something stupid, like fuck her against my door.
We burst inside in a tangle of arms, legs, and nerves. I’ve never been so nervous and so excited at the same time.
Mila pushes my suit jacket off my shoulders before she starts on my tie, as I kiss every part of her body my lips can reach without putting her down. Her lips, cheeks, neck, and ears. I get acquainted with every part of her skin. When I kiss her neck in Abri’s favorite spot making Mila purr, I don’t think about Abri like I thought I might. The sounds Mila makes are more angelic than anything I’ve ever heard.
Mila’s raspy sounds. The purring, the moaning, the growling makes my already hard cock tighten with each sound. I think I could come from her voice alone.
Mila gets my tie off and starts working on the buttons on my shirt, quickly getting frustrated by how hard it is to get the shirt off.
“Slow down, pretty girl. We’ve got all night.”
“All night isn’t enough,” she whispers back.
And I know it’s the truth. I can fuck her all night long. Over and over and over. It won’t be enough. Not enough to heal us. Not enough to rid ourselves of the desire in our core. Simply, not enough.
But it has to be. This has to be a one-time thing. I can’t ruin her.
Neither of us speaks the truth though. We both know that this is a one-time thing. That’s why she’s so desperate. That’s why there is sadness in her eyes.
So I give in to her. I race upstairs to my bedroom and toss her on the bed.
“You’re never going to forget this night, sweetheart.”
She grins at my nickname.
“Neither are you, asshole.”
I lick my lips as I rip my shirt open, not caring about the expensive buttons that will need replacing. The look on her face makes it worth it.
“It’s good to know you still hate me.”
I kick off my shoes and remove my pants and underwear, freeing my cock that points in her direction, leading me into a dream I never thought I’d have, knowing, in the end, it will turn into a nightmare when I have to leave her.
Her eyes sear through my body. My arms and chest, covered in tattoos, over my abs, to my straining cock.
“Yep, definitely hate you.”
It’s a lie. She doesn’t hate me, that’s the problem.
She grips the covers on my bed like she’s trying to hold herself back, but it makes her look innocent. So, so innocent. An angel that isn’t capable of wrong.
And I’m the devil that soon will be taking her wings.
I slowly move to the bed as her legs move wide, inviting me in. But not wide enough to fit my frame. So I push her legs open further as I kiss every inch of flesh I can find. I remove her shoes slowly along with her socks until I’m kissing her feet, then calf, then inner thigh.
She writhes against me, both wanting me to kiss her in the most intimate of places and not ready for it yet.
I grin before jumping over her shorts and moving to her stomach. I push her shirt up as I kiss her concave stomach. Even with three good meals a day, she is still too skinny. I need to feed her more. She deserves to have everything she needs and more.
Even though I can see her ribs, she’s still beautiful. More than beautiful. There needs to be a new word to describe how gorgeous she is.
It’s not just her body that has me entranced. It’s her mouth, the words that leave it. It’s her mind, the way she already understands my company on her second day. It’s the way she pushes me to be better.
She raises her arms, and I lift her shirt over her head.
“When was the last time?” I say.
I return to kissing her stomach slowly as I inch my way up to her bra. It takes everything in me not to flip her over and fuck her roughly in my bed. But it’s not what either of us needs.
“Um…” she moans as I kiss her.
I lift her bra off her body and then twirl my tongue slowly over her nipple.
“How long?” I demand.
“Over a year. Five if you’re counting the last time I was in a relationship. Or the last time…”
“The last time?”
I gently bite down on her nipple making her cry out.
When I stop, she answers. “The last time a man has made me come. But even then…”
“It wasn’t fucking amazing,” I finish her sentence.
“No, I doubt you are capable of better, but usually I prefer my B.O.B. to what any man is capable of doing. Men are selfish.”
She’s not wrong. Most men are selfish. I’m selfish, but not when it comes to pleasing her. I’ll put any battery operated boyfriend to shame.
“You sure about that?”
“Yes,” she squeaks out.
I hook my thumb under her shorts and panties and jerk them down. Instantly reversing our positions, I grab her hips and roll her on top of me.
She gasps, but I haven’t even started yet. I pull her hips forward until her glorious pussy is staring me in my face.
Her eyes are wide as she stares down at me, unsure of what do to.
“Just enjoy this, sweetheart. Enjoy the ride.”
I move to kiss her and stop short when I see the tattoos on her hips, covered by her panties before. They aren’t tattoos to honor a lost family member. They aren’t words of encouragement or something sweet like I would have expected from my innocent girl. No, the tattoos are of fire. She’s on fire, burning. She’s dangerous, possibly more than I am to her. But it won’t stop me from diving in.
I pull her on top of my face, as my tongue carefully swirls around the lips between her legs. I take my time, learning her body. Figuring out how her body responds to my touch. Which places are more sensitive, and which can handle a sharper attack.
My tongue darts inside of her, feeling how tight and wet she is.
Her eyes close at the intrusion. Her hands grip my head though, telling me to never stop.
“Jesus,” she mutters.
“Jesus has nothing on me.”
And she hasn’t even begun to feel pleasure yet.
I slip a finger in her cunt, then a second. Slowly torturing her with my fingers as I find her G-spot deep inside.
My tongue finds the spot that I know is the key to making her scream my name. And then I’m relentless. My tongue dances faster and faster against her clit. Her thighs tighten around my head, begging me to keep going and to stop at the same time. I keep going, loving the mix of sweet and salty that is pouring off her onto my mouth.
I lap it all up. Needing more. Needing to milk her entirely of all her pleasure. I’m selfish in that I want this to be the best she’s ever had. I don’t want any other man ever to have a chance to compare to what I’m doing to her body. I want it all.
“Knight,” she cries out. “Fuck, Knight.”
I feel her clenching, her coming over my face. Her voice, singing my name. I’ll never get enough of seeing her like this. Completely at my mercy. And completely mine.
She rocks her hips back gently as she comes down from her high until she’s resting against my chest.
“Thank you,” she breathes.
I smirk. “Don’t thank me yet, that was nothing compared to what I have in store for you.”
I roll us over again, placing her beneath me while I do everything I can to hold back from thrusting inside of her without getting protection first.
“Knight?” her voice is sweet, raspy, and needy.
“Yes, baby?”
I reach over to the nightstand and find my stash of condoms. I pull one out and sheath myself, hoping to God she isn’t about to say she’s changed her mind and doesn’t want me to fuck her.
She closes her eyes and then opens them, like the time closed was needed to give her the strength to say her next words. “How long?”
I move all of my attention back to her. I hate seeing her this vulnerable. Her eyes, so full with fear of what my answer will be. Knowing I could break her with my answer.
I tuck her hair behind her ear, and stroke it slowly, my eyes and body trying to be as vulnerable in return to her. Because of all the things I’ve told her. All the honesty I’ve given her, she needs to know, this is the most honest I’ve ever been.
“More than a year.”
She exhales like that was the answer she needed. It is also completely the truth.
“Even longer if you only count the last time I was in love and felt anything real.”
She touches her fingers gently to my lips. “This is real. I may hate you, and you may despise me, but what we are feeling now is real. It may not be love, but it’s something more. A passion and connection we will never experience again.”
I lower my lips to hers. Kissing her carefully and passionately. “It’s more than anything I’ve ever experienced.”
And it’s the truth. I’ve experienced love, passion, pain. But whatever this is, it’s greater than all of it.
It’s pleasure, and safety, and need, and love, and pain, and passion, and hate, and honesty. It’s everything combined. It’s what Mila and I are together. A connection that can’t be tied to a time or place. A link I haven’t been able to escape since the first time I saw her.
We both open our eyes at the same time, and I push inside her both gently and all at once. I fill her, just as quickly as she filled my heart. I can’t escape Mila Burns, ever.
Her mouth opens wide in a cry of pain as I push her open. I kiss her, my tongue whisking her away to a place of pleasure as her body adjusts to my size inside her.
Our fingers intertwine together as I slowly pull all the way out of her, before slamming into her again. Her back arches as she pulls me inside her deeper. I could get lost in the depth of her. Mila has so many layers, and I’ve barely explored the surface. But it’s now that I realize she will let me in all the way, even though she knows she will get burned. We both will.
“Come on me, pretty girl.”
She does, and I follow suit.
I collapse on top of her, but I’m nowhere near finished with her.
I pull us both off the bed and carry Mila to the bathroom, into the shower. I turn the water on that chills us at first before slowly turning to heat.
I spin her around, so her back is to my front, as I let the water stream down her front. My hand hooks around her stomach and down to her most sensitive bud, playing with her slowly and torturously.
Mila started opening up to me before, but I’m afraid she may close to me now.
“What happened with Abri? What did she tell you?”
Mila leans her head back against my chest as I strum her further.
“She told me the man she married was a monster.”
It’s the truth. I was a monster. Mila is telling me the truth, without saying exactly what happened. I taught her that move. And I don’t get to push her further. Mila is hiding the truth while being completely honest.
“What do you think of me?”
“I think my knight isn’t the same person as Abri’s husband.”
I nod and push Abri out of my head as I make Mila come in the shower. Then in my bed two more times before I know she is spent and can’t handle another.
I tuck Mila into my bed as I sit on the edge. Mila is hiding what Abri said. And if I can’t learn the truth from Mila, I’m going to have to get it from A
bri.
“Stay,” she whispers.
It goes against everything in my body to leave her. I want to hold her against my body all night. Memorize her scent and the sounds she makes as she sleeps. I want to protect her all night long, and then let her ride me in the morning.
But the only way to truly protect her is for her to hate me. She’ll hate me more if I leave her. I need to stay as far away from her as possible. Keep her as far away from Abri as possible. Before I end up hurting her like I did Abri.
13
Mila
Knight is easy to fall for. He’s handsome, charming, and he saved me. What’s not to love?
But maybe the reason my heart flutters around him is I don’t really know him, and he doesn’t know me. Not knowing the truth about each other’s pasts makes it easy to love someone. If he knew my truth, it would be hard for him to love me. Our pasts are the key to letting each other go, but even though Knight left me alone in his bed, letting each other go right now is the last thing either one of us wants.
I saw the pain in Knight’s eyes when he left me tucked in his bed. He didn’t want to go. He thought he was doing the right thing. Saving me as always, this time from himself. He thought I would hate him more if he left. But I don’t think hating Knight is possible anymore.
How can I hate someone that made me feel alive for the first time in years? How can I hate someone who saved me? How can I hate someone who loves me?
I can’t.
Knight may not realize that he loves me, but he does. I never thought you could fall for someone so quickly, but I think we’ve been falling since the first moment we met weeks ago. And in some ways, I feel like the universe has been conspiring to bring us together for a lot longer than a few weeks.
I close my eyes. My body is sore. It will only be worse tomorrow. But it was more than worth it. That may be the last time Knight kisses me or touches me. The love that formed may only last one night, but I wouldn’t trade it away. Even if I knew how our story would end. I would do it all over again.
Sleep, I need to sleep. Tomorrow, I will go back to reality. Tomorrow, we will see if there is enough hate to return to how we were living before or if something stronger wins. Tonight, I will dream of Knight and the future we could have together if our pasts weren’t so painful.