“That’s great.” She wasn’t sure where to put her hands so she rested them on her lap. “How do you feel?”
“Really good.” His arms tightened around her and he sat back on the bench, taking her with him so she leaned more closely against him.
She couldn’t disagree. He did feel really good. Warm, soft in all the right places, but that’s when something hard pressed against the back of her thighs. It took her a second to realize what it was, and she gasped.
“Don’t be alarmed. It’s a physical response.”
He had a hard-on. There was no missing that with it pressed against the underside of her legs between her ass and knees, where she sat across his lap. Her breathing speeded up and she tried to slow it down. Fear wasn’t the cause. She didn’t think he was going to do anything bad to her.
“Dana? Are you okay?”
She nodded mutely.
“Look at me.” He leaned his head away from hers.
Dana hesitated, but worked up her courage. It was slightly embarrassing to know they were both aware of his physical state. She lifted her chin and stared into his eyes.
“I’d never harm you,” he swore, and sincerity shone from those striking eyes. “Please don’t fear me.”
“I should probably get off your lap. I guess this was a bad idea, huh?” She blushed. “I, wow, this is awkward.”
He didn’t open his arms. She wasn’t sure what to say. “Is it?”
“I like holding you. I enjoy the way you feel in my arms and how you smell.” He had no difficulty finding words.
Dana swallowed hard, keeping eye contact. “Paul told me to ditch the perfume and cosmetics. He gave me bathing stuff so I won’t make New Species sneeze while I’m here. It’s probably the new shampoo and conditioner I’m using. This isn’t appropriate.” That was a good way to put it.
“Human laws don’t apply to me.”
“It’s not a law. It’s just that…” She faltered when he leaned in closer and sniffed at her. A low purring sound came from his chest, and it caused small vibrations against her arm where she leaned into him.
“It’s just that what?”
He expected an answer but all she could do was stare into his eyes. “I should get up,” she finally blurted.
He still didn’t open his arms. “Why? I like you here. Are you uncomfortable?”
He was actually cozy to sit on. He was big, warm, and he held her gently. It was just that the feel of his erection pressed against the back of her thighs beneath the thin material of the flags wasn’t something she could ignore.
“I’m male. I react to you. It doesn’t mean I’m going to strip you bare and expect you to share sex with me.”
Her breathing picked up speed and her heart pounded. The image of him doing that left her reeling. She wasn’t certain how to feel about it. Her gaze lowered to his chest and then to his broad shoulders. He was strong enough to do anything he wanted to her but she didn’t fear him. She looked up and studied his eyes. They drew her in, so unique and gorgeous. She’d never seen anything like them before and the novelty wasn’t wearing off. She could stare into them for an endless amount of time.
“We like to talk. Tell me what you are thinking.”
“You feel really big.” She regretted the blurted words, and heat flamed her cheeks. She ducked her head and lifted one hand, covering her eyes. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. It was the first thing that popped into my head.”
He chuckled. “I am big. See? We’re talking and being honest. I like this. Why are you blushing? It is appealing.”
Dana peeked back at him. He watched her with a slight smile on his face. His amusement was easy to identify. “You’re enjoying this.”
“A little.” He shrugged. “I will let you go if you really want me to, but I’d like to keep holding you. It feels nice.”
It did. If she could just ignore that it wasn’t his thigh pressed against the back of hers. “It does,” she admitted.
“I wouldn’t know how to convince you to share sex with me. You’re not Species.” He frowned and glanced down at the top of where the flag was tucked around her breasts. “The last thing I’d want is to make you fear me. Humans are vastly different.”
“Are we?” She wanted to steer the subject away from sex. He was too good-looking and it had been a long time since she’d felt an honest attraction to a man. She was very aware of Mourn.
“Yes. Species females are aggressive. They would grab me and rub up against my body. They don’t blush or shy away from me the way you do.”
“Does that happen often? You know, women going after you?” She didn’t like the little seed of jealousy it spawned.
“Sometimes. They pity me.”
“But you haven’t, um, gone through with it?”
“You’re the first female who has made me hard. I haven’t shared sex with anyone except my mate.”
He’d told her that before, but she didn’t know what he did while he was away from her. Things might have changed. “Oh.”
“It confuses me,” he confessed, his voice dropping to a mere whisper. “I like you.”
“I like you too, Mourn.”
He stared at her. “Do I affect you?” He leaned back a little and looked lower, between their bodies. His body tensed. “Do you like how I look?”
Dana couldn’t help but gawk a little. Every muscle in his abs showed. He had the kind of washboard stomach that tempted her to reach out and explore it with her hands. She resisted. “You’re very…in shape.” That was a safe way to put it.
“Is that good? Does my size threaten you?”
It was difficult to tear her attention away from his abdomen but she managed, looking up at his face again. “You don’t scare me, if that’s what you mean.”
“Good. That is the last thing I want. You didn’t answer my question. Do I affect you?”
Dana stumbled for an answer.
“It’s okay.” He closed his eyes and turned his head away. “I didn’t think you would be attracted to me, but I needed to ask. We’re too different.”
She hated the way he sounded hurt. She reached out and hesitantly placed her hand against his shoulder. “Mourn?”
“I don’t know what I was thinking. Deception is for humans.”
“What does that mean?” She felt a little alarmed by that word.
He opened his eyes and turned his head to look at her again. “I set the sprinklers to go off and get us wet. I hoped that if you saw me mostly undressed, you’d be attracted to me.”
“Why would you do that?” It stunned her. She wasn’t upset, just surprised and confused.
“You make me feel good things. I wanted to hold you and see if you’d want to share sex with me.”
It wasn’t the first time a man had hit on her, but she had to say it was the most unusual tactic anyone had ever deployed. “Oh.”
“You aren’t attracted to me. I understand.” Pain flashed in his eyes. “No female will ever wish to be my mate again.”
“Mate?” The word staggered her a little. He wasn’t just looking for a one-night stand.
He gave a firm nod. “We have so much in common, Dana. I’m attracted to you. I enjoy talking to you.”
She finally recovered. “Those aren’t reasons to marry someone.”
“I mated to 139 because I was told to when they left her with me. We were happy.”
It broke her heart and she leaned in closer, hating the pain she saw. “You’re still grieving her loss. You can’t just replace one woman with another.”
“Is that what you believe? You’re nothing like her.” He frowned. “You’re human and I still want you.”
She wasn’t sure if she should feel insulted. She let it go, not believing it was meant that way. “It’s just sexual attraction. We’re talking and growing closer. It’s normal.”
“You aren’t attracted to me.”
Dana debated and then blew out a breath. “I am.”
His eyes
narrowed and his arms tightened around her. “You are?”
“You’re a very handsome man, Mourn.”
“What else do you like about me?”
“Your eyes are…” She paused.
“Frightening? Strangely inhuman?”
“Spectacular,” she corrected. “I could stare into them all day.”
“What about my size? Do you think I’ll bruise or crush you? I worry about that. You look delicate. I know how to be gentle.”
“I’m sure you could be.”
“I would never force you. My mate was ill for a long time. I never touched her that way, no matter how much I hurt to share sex. Her needs came first.”
She believed that about him. “That makes you thoughtful.”
“But not sexually appealing enough to be interested in sharing sex with me?”
She glanced down at his chest, stomach and bulky biceps. “You’re really hot.”
“My temperature runs higher than a human.”
She smiled. He was kind of naïveif that was how he had interpreted her remark. “I mean sexy.” She blushed a little when she said that, but didn’t back away from telling the truth.
“You like me too.” He grinned.
“I do, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
That wiped the joy right off his expression. “I want more than that with you.”
“You’re still grieving. I’m not a replacement for her, Mourn.”
“You’re nothing like her. You talk to me with ease.”
Questions sprang to Dana’s mind. She wanted to ask them aloud but refrained. It was an odd statement to make. She remembered him saying his wife wasn’t very talkative but did that mean they barely spoke unless they needed to? It created a bleak image of the kind of relationship they’d had.
“You don’t look like her either.” He frowned again. “She was very tall. Your coloring is different. I don’t want you to be like her.”
It helped that he said that. “You’re just looking for a bandage to temporarily cure this pain, and I don’t want to get hurt when you realize that.”
“What does that mean?”
“I deserve to be with someone who really loves me, and is offering me a future beyond a few days or maybe months. We do this, and you’ll eventually realize that I was just the person there to get you through the worst of your grief. You’ll walk away, and I can’t take losing someone I let get that close to me. Not a second time.”
“Species mate for life.” He kept hold of her.
“And yours died.” It was a gentle reminder.
He closed his eyes. She took it as a sign that her words were penetrating and reached out, caressing his chest. His skin was so warm, and it felt nice. He suddenly opened his eyes and held her gaze.
“Wrong words. We commit to the females we mate with until one of us dies. I am willing to commit to you.”
That stunned her. “You don’t even know me.”
“You’re kind and sweet. We have both known loss. No one is ever going to understand me the way you do, and I understand you. Don’t you want someone to hold you at night? Someone to talk to and laugh with?”
“We don’t have to sleep together to do that. We could be friends.”
“I don’t want to be friends. I want more. Come home and live with me.”
Paul had told her once that New Species didn’t date. That information suddenly made sense. Mourn just expected her to jump right into a serious relationship. It was insane. Nobody did that.
“I promise to never touch another female, or want to share sex with someone else. I won’t ever leave you. You will be mine, and I will be yours. I will never hurt you, and I’ll do everything in my power to make certain you’re happy. I’ll crave seeing your smile. I would hurt if I hurt you. It’s how Species are. Do you understand? I can’t replace your mate, but I’m far better than any human you’d have to worry about when you decide to mate again. They aren’t as honest as Species, or as loyal.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It could be.” He reached up and lightly ran his fingertip along her cheek. “I’ve never shared sex with a human, but I promise I’ll learn how to please you. I’m determined. It will be enjoyable to figure out our differences.”
The gruff tone affected her. His voice took on a slight growl. It had been two years since a man had even tempted her to want sex. Mourn did. She glanced at his chest. He was beautiful and everything manly. He had the kind of body women would want to worship, and she was affected as well.
“I—”
“You said I must take chances,” he reminded her. “So must you. You wanted to help change my life since I only existed in loneliness and pain. You think I want you to cure me of that, but I think we can do that for each other. I see yours too, when you talk about what you lost when your mate died. I wouldn’t humble myself if I hadn’t thought this through. We could fill the emptiness and make each other whole again. Together.”
He dropped his finger away from her face and lowered his arm. He slid his big hand under her ass, cupping it, and squeezed just enough to make her very aware of the sexual significance of having a man touch her. His nostrils flared, and a low growl surprised her. His chest vibrated under her hand. She glanced at it, and then back at his face.
“A reminder,” he stated. “I’m Species. I keep my word. I don’t want to just share sex. I want you to live with me and become my reason for living. I want to be yours.”
It really sank in. “You’re serious.”
“Yes.”
“This is insane.” The words popped out before she could worry about insulting him.
He smiled instead. “Let’s be insane together.”
“We just met. We should get to know each other first.”
“Okay.”
When he agreed, Dana relaxed, but it was a short-lived reprieve.
“We can do that as mates.”
“Mourn, we can’t just jump into a relationship. It never works out.”
“It might not work for humans, but it does with Species. You’re not in your out world anymore. You’re Paul’s sister, and he’s happy here. You could be too.”
“This is too fast.”
“You said I should change my life and find a reason to want to live. I chose you.”
She was speechless. She frantically tried to form reasonable arguments to point out to him that it was a bad idea that bordered on crazy. He massaged her ass. He had firm, yet gentle hands. It made it worse as she stared into his eyes, observing that passion made them even brighter and livelier.
“Let me touch you,” he growled.
Dana still couldn’t form words. He inched his hand a little closer to her pussy while he continued to knead her butt. Her heart pounded and she was tempted to say yes. Life was too short and could end before anyone expected it to. She knew that firsthand, but the fear that he was using her to replace the woman he’d lost was a real possibility. It was the grieving version of someone on the rebound. If they jumped into a relationship too fast, no good would come of it. Her attempt to help him heal could hurt both of them if she didn’t get off his lap and stop him from making a mistake.
Chapter Five
Mourn ached to tear the flag from Dana’s body and stretch her out on the cushioned bench. He’d taken the padding off an outdoor lounge chair from the backyard of guest housing and brought it to the shed. It was thickly padded and plush. He wanted to stretch her out on that cushion and explore every inch of Dana’s skin, touch her. He saw no fear in her eyes, but there was plenty of hesitation.
Did she really believe he wanted a replacement for 139? He couldn’t understand her logic. She wasn’t anything similar to the mate he’d lost, and he didn’t wish her to be. It would be difficult to learn how to live with a human, but he was willing to do whatever it took to make it work. Dana was someone he could talk to and she was the first female to rekindle his desire to live.
He also felt a healthy
dose of pure lust. His dick hurt like nothing he could remember. He longed to be inside her, despite his worry that he might cause her harm. He’d have to take things very slowly and use every ounce of self-control. Dana didn’t seem as if she was eager to share sex with him, and that meant coaxing her into allowing him to remove that flag from her body.
“Mourn.” Her voice came out a little breathless.
“Let me touch you.”
“You are.” Her cheeks were pink, and she licked her lips.
She wasn’t wiggling to move away from his exploration of her ass. She had a generous amount of flesh in that area. He liked holding it in the palm of his hand. He scooted down the bench, keeping her on his lap as he did so. He twisted his body just enough to turn her so, when he bent forward, he was able to lay her on the cushion. She grabbed at his upper arms. He withdrew his hand from under her ass and gripped the material at her thighs, sliding it up. His talk with Darkness about human sex replayed inside his head.
“I want to strip you bare and bury my face between your thighs. You’d like me licking your pussy. I purr. Do you know what that means?”
She shook her head and swallowed hard.
“I’m better than a vibrator. I was told what one of those do to your kind, and how good it feels to females. Do you own one?”
Her cheeks turned pinker and her lips parted. She remained mute, looking stunned at the same time.
“Do you own one, Dana?” He said her name to make certain she knew she was the female he thought of.
She nodded. It was slight, but he saw the movement.
“I’d make you come hard.” He shifted a little, adjusting until his elbows rested on the cushion on each side of her ribs, and he leaned in closer, careful to keep his weight off her. He worried she’d panic and perhaps roll away and hit the floor. “I want to show you the advantages of having a Species mate. Let me do that.”
She stared at him, appearing a little dazed. Darkness had said not to be too blunt, but he couldn’t help it. Dana had accepted everything about him so far, and hadn’t shown any revulsion when he’d told her how he’d become mated to 139. Humans didn’t end up together that way, but she hadn’t judged him. He wanted to be completely honest. Lies were a bad way to start their bond. He’d tried deceit when he’d gotten her wet from the sprinklers. It had made him feel guilt.
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