Numbers

by Laurann Dohner

  “I cut them when I ran after you.”

  He snarled. “I didn’t smell the blood. Let me see.”

  “It’s fine.”

  He lunged out of the kitchen. She held her ground when he grabbed hold of her waist and just lifted her. He strode to the couch and dropped her on it, grasped one of her ankles and yanked it up to study the bottom of her foot.

  “Damn it. It’s not bleeding anymore, but it needs to be cleaned. You’re not Species. You can easily get infections.” He released it and reached for her other ankle, capturing it in his uninjured hand, and lifted it. “You have two cuts. Stay put. Don’t move.” He let her go but then he looked at her, his expression tightening.

  She followed his line of sight and realized the shirt she wore had ridden up when he dropped her on the couch and lifted her legs. Part of her pussy was exposed. His mouth tightened into a grim line when she glanced up to see his reaction. He held still, his attention focused there.

  “I don’t want you to suffer, my pup. Never. Why did you say that?”

  That got a reaction from him. He twisted away and stomped into the bedroom. She sat up a little and pulled the shirt down. He returned quickly with a white box that had First Aid and a red symbol stamped across the top. He dropped to his knees, shoved the coffee table to the side, and set the box on top of it. He opened it, removed a few items, and then grabbed one of her ankles, lifting her foot.

  “This might burn. Prepare.”

  She nodded, watching him use his teeth to rip off a corner of a packet that he’d pressed to his mouth. He used the wet swab to rub against the cut. It wasn’t pleasant and he wasn’t gentle. She clenched her teeth but didn’t make a sound. He really made sure it was clean before he stopped and applied a bandage. He set her foot down on one side of his thigh and went after her other foot. She lifted it for him.

  He glanced down between her thighs and froze. She knew what he saw with her thighs parted and one leg lifted. She was exposed again, flashing him the view of her pussy. She contemplated reaching down to hold the shirt in place over it but decided against it.

  He tore his gaze away, cleaned the second cut and slapped a bandage on it. He unwrapped the dishtowel from his hand, twisted his body to the side and tended to his own injury. She stayed put, liking that he was just a few feet away.

  “Are we going to pretend you didn’t accuse me of wanting to hurt you?” She kept her tone soft.

  “Yes.”

  “Do you believe that?” It would hurt her if he did.

  He closed the box and made a pile of the discarded items next to it on the table. He refused to look at her.

  “I don’t want to upset or anger you. I’m trying to get to know the male you’ve become. That’s all. I’m afraid you don’t want me anymore and that another female matters more to you than I do.”

  He sat back on his heels and regarded her. It was clear that he masked his features to hide his emotions. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

  “We tell each other everything.”

  “We did once. Not anymore. Things have changed.”

  That hurt. “Do you want me to leave?”

  “I don’t know. You’re alive. I don’t know how to react or what to think. I’m trying to stay calm, but I feel highly unsettled.”

  He was at least talking to her. “I might not have fought so hard to survive if I’d known I would bring you this much pain, my pup.”

  He leaned in. “Don’t say that. And don’t call me your pup.” The anger was back in his voice.

  She dropped her gaze to his chest. The sight of his tan, bare skin through the rips of his shirt was a good thing to focus on instead. “I’ll leave if I only bring you suffering.” She lifted her legs, turned, and tried to scoot down the couch to avoid touching him.

  He reached out and put his open palm over her stomach. She stopped moving. He didn’t say anything as long seconds passed. She liked the warmth of his hand there, heating her skin though the thin material of the shirt.

  “No female could ever take your place.”

  She dared look at him and he appeared sad to her. She felt the same way. “Do you know what hurts the most?”

  “What?” He pulled his hand away.

  “It’s not that you mounted other females. You believed I’d chosen another male over you and that I died. It’s learning that you don’t want me anymore. I’m nothing now except bad memories that cause you to have terrible feelings. That tears me apart inside, Hero.” The name would always be foreign, but she did it for him. “I’ll tell Breeze to let you go to your Reservation place and I’ll stay out of your sight. I love you with everything that I am, but I won’t be selfish. I give you peace. Forget I am alive. I won’t exist to you anymore.”

  She eased off the couch and walked toward the door. She would ask the guard outside the door to take her to Breeze. She turned the handle and opened the door but a bandaged hand suddenly slammed against the wood, and the knob was torn out of her grasp. The door slammed closed. She turned, peering up at Hero. His eyes were scary and his lips were parted, fangs showing.

  “I want you. That’s the problem.” He snarled the words. “I lose control when it comes to you. You make me feel too much, Candi. You always have. I once wanted to kill you over another male. You were mine! Do you know why I ran from you in my bedroom?” He didn’t give her time to ask. “I was terrified I’d damage you. You’re weak and ill. I can’t mount you. It makes me furious that I want to.”

  He wanted her. She reached up and gripped his shoulders. “You won’t damage me. I’m not ill.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “I just need to gain weight. Doc Tri—”

  “Fine. You’re weak. You felt easily breakable in my arms. Captivity does that. You need time to become strong before I take you to my bed. What if I do hurt you? I have enough guilt. I can’t take any more.”

  “What guilt?”

  He spun away, stalking across the room. He ran his fingers through his hair. He began to pace, shooting angry glances at her.

  “What guilt? I know you didn’t mean to hurt me with your chains. I don’t believe you would have snapped my neck if you’d reached me. I don’t want to believe that. You would have stopped yourself from taking my life if you’d broken free and reached me.”

  He stopped pacing. “We’ll never know.”

  “Let it go. I have. I never blamed you for your rage or pain. Never.”

  “How do you feel, knowing I was free while you were still being held captive? We have a task force team that looks for our lost females. No one searched for you. I never told them about you, Candi. I didn’t mention anything to the NSO about the human child who was raised with me inside that cell, because I didn’t want them to know I’d caused your death.”

  Some of it started to make sense to her. “You thought I was dead and you had no reason to question it. I was taken away from Mercile. How could you know?”

  “I let you down. It’s what I do. You allowed another to mount you to save me, and I hurt you in return. You were locked up but I never tried to rescue you. You made it here on your own after having to kill to gain your freedom. You wanted me to hold you when we saw each other, but I ran away. Now you offer to stay out of my sight so I don’t feel guilt for all the times I’ve failed to be the kind of male who deserves you.”

  Her heart broke. “I was wrong. This hurts me the most. You’ve never let me down. Stop thinking that way.” She went after him. “You have always been the male I live for. You’re the reason I am here. You’re my entire world, 927.”

  She reached up when she stopped in front of him and slid her hand along the back of his neck, grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked. He grimaced but allowed her to tug his face toward her. She fisted his shirt in the front with her other hand.

  “Listen to me, my pup.” She paused. “927. Hero. Whatever the hell you’ll let me call you. You’re making me angry now. Don’t ever say that you don’t deserve me. You wa
nt to see how weak I am? Say it again. I will knock you flat. You taught me how to fight. I haven’t forgotten that even if you have.”

  His eyebrows shot up.

  “The only way you can break me is if you continue to tear into yourself. I won’t allow it. Don’t you dare. I love you.” She eased her hold on his hair and wrapped her fingers around the back of his neck instead, drawing him down closer. “I love you.”

  Tears swam in his eyes and he wrapped his arms around her.

  “You were there to hold me after my mother died. You were the one who kept me warm and comforted me every night. You gave me a reason to live in that cell. You made me laugh and feel so many wonderful things. The only reason I’m alive today is because you were my reason to fight and keep trying to escape. Don’t you dare undermine any of that.”

  “Candi, I…”

  He didn’t seem to know what to say but she did. “Forget that I said I’d leave. I refuse to let you go. I found you, and you’re mine. I will fight any females who try to touch you. I’ll chase you if you run. I will find you again.”

  He lifted her off her feet and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He turned with her in his arms and walked toward the bedroom. “No more running, Candi.”

  She clung to him. “Good.”

  “I’m not mounting you until you’re stronger. Help me do that by keeping covered.”

  She could live with that. “But you plan to?”

  He growled. “Yes. When you’re stronger and we’re sure you’re healthy after Doc Trisha gets all your test results back. I can’t live with knowing I’ve hurt you in any way.”

  “May I stay here with you? Sleep with you?”

  “Yes.” He stopped by the bed and gently lowered her. “But you need to help me get you better. That means rest and sleep. I’m going to care for you.”

  She didn’t want to let him go but he stepped back and straightened from the bed, forcing her to. “You want to take things slow. I’m okay with that as long as you’re with me.”

  “I won’t leave. I’m going to call my friend Tammy. She’s human the way you are, and always complains about how difficult it is to keep weight off after having her cub. She will know how to put weight on you.”

  “Cub?”

  He crouched. “That’s another reason I won’t mount you right now. I could get you pregnant.”

  She was stunned. “Mercile found a way to do it?” Horror came next. They made more Species to torment? To torture with their drugs? “Oh no.”

  “Easy,” he rasped, reaching out to stroke her hair. He seemed to understand her reaction and the thoughts that came with it. “Mercile never accomplished that. It was after we were freed. Species can’t breed together, but some mated human females have had babies with Species males. It’s possible.” He glanced at her body. “You’re so weak that I fear a pregnancy right now might harm you more. I won’t take that risk.”

  Mated. She heard him say it. “You’re going to claim me as your mate?”

  His mouth compressed into a tight line.

  “That’s okay with me. I want that.”

  His lips twitched upward a little before he opened his mouth. “You’re mine, Candi.”

  They were the sweetest words she’d heard him say since she realized he still lived. “You’re mine too.”

  “I’m going to make that call. Rest. You can’t gain weight if you’re using up all your energy. I’ll return to you soon and I’ll keep you warm until you’re hungry.”

  She smiled.

  Hero stood, pulling his hand away from her hair. He snagged his cell phone off the table next to the bed and left. He did keep the bedroom door cracked open. She lay down and curled into a ball. She couldn’t wait for him to return, to feel him wrapped around her the way he used to do all those years ago in their cell.

  She’d missed him. Part of her still feared going to sleep, terrified she’d wake inside her room at the asylum. Some of the drugs they’d forced into her body had caused very realistic dreams and hallucinations. She pressed her nose against 927’s pillow and found his scent. It helped her relax.

  Tammy took the news of his secret really well, even understanding his reaction when he learned Candi was still alive, sympathizing with the guilt that came with it.

  “The important part is that you got a second chance,” she stated. “Any mistakes you made in the past don’t matter. What does are the things you do from this moment forward. You have her back, Hero. This Candi is the woman you’ve always loved and wished you had a future with. Grab hold, my friend. This is your chance at happiness.”

  “I’m flawed,” he admitted.

  “Aren’t we all?” Tammy snorted. “Nobody is perfect. You’re Species. I might be biased because of how much I love Valiant, but you guys make amazing mates. You’ll meet her needs and you’ll do whatever you can to make certain she’s happy. That’s the best thing you can do for her, Hero. She’s survived pure hell so now you get to show her all the wonderful things about life.”

  “I’m worried about her. She’s so frail.”

  “Chocolate is the answer. I look at it and gain five pounds. See if she likes bacon cheeseburgers too, and French fries. Add in some ranch dressing for dipping and she’ll have some cushion around those bones in no time. Pretty much go on the internet and find foods that they say not to eat while dieting and feed them to her.”

  “I can do that.”

  “I know you can. Get some of the human mates involved. They’ll help you out on what to feed her and how to cook it.”

  “I was considering bringing her to Reservation. I trust you to help me care for her.”

  Tammy hesitated. “I think it would be better if you keep her at Homeland for now. After telling me how those assholes kept her on drugs for so many years, she needs to be near Medical. Trisha is an amazing doctor and she’s there right now. Besides, there are some excellent hospitals near Homeland in case she needs a specialist. Trisha can have them consult with her and that’s easier to do if they can actually check your Candi out themselves. That means taking her to them. Flying back and forth would be tough if she does end up having some health issues. I want your Candi to have the best medical care, and I know you want that too.”

  “I do, but I’m concerned I won’t be able to care for her the way she needs.”

  “You’ll do fine. Old Doc Harris doesn’t have the best bedside manner, and he’s on duty here. Do I need to say more to convince you?”

  “No. I’d have to hit him if he upset her.”

  Tammy laughed. “He’s a good doctor but yeah, he needs a lot of work on the things that come out of his mouth. He blurts out whatever comes to mind. I think she’ll feel more secure having so many Species living in the dorm too, after what she’s been through. Exposing her to the Wild Zone residents might be something you want to do at a later date. You know how some of them are less than social. It took them a while to warm up to me because I’m human. They might see her that way instead of as a Species.”

  “She’s one of us. So are you.”

  “I know that. Some of the Wilds really hate humans though. They had it far worse than other Species. Valiant tells me stories about how he was treated while at Mercile that makes me want to kill people too. They kept him in a lion cage and the staff would stare at him like some circus attraction. Get her stronger before you bring her to Reservation. You want your scent stamped all over her. It helps them accept us if we smell just like our mates.”

  He hung up with Tammy and felt better about everything. That was what good friends could do. She’d seen him at his worst when she’d been kidnapped and locked up with him. Her faith that he could become a good mate to Candi helped with some of his insecurities.

  Hero returned to his room. The sight of Candi sleeping in his bed felt right. He bent down and removed his shoes. He’d dreamed about holding her again. It had been hell when they’d taken her away from him. She had been as much a part of him as one of his limbs. He s
tripped out of his torn shirt and even removed his pants, but put on a pair of boxers.

  He managed not to wake her as he curled up against her back and wrapped his arm around her waist. Her steady, slow breathing assured him she wasn’t having bad dreams. There had been plenty of times as children when nightmares had plagued her. She’d witnessed her mother’s death at the hands of her own father. She’d loved the woman who’d given birth to her, always sharing stories of love and laughter.

  He loved Candi. His life had been lonely until she’d arrived inside his cell. He hadn’t believed until then that he could learn to trust anyone fully human. She’d been nothing like the technicians. Even knowing Dr. C was her father hadn’t dissuaded him from forming a deep bond with her. Now here she was, alive and where she belonged.

  He lowered his chin to rest against the top of Candi’s head, her small body molded to his front. He no longer wished to run from his feelings or her, and would make sure it worked out between them. This was their new beginning. She hadn’t been freed when he had been, but unlike him, she wouldn’t have to navigate that new life mostly on her own. Friends were great and he appreciated them, but a mate was someone to spend the rest of his life sharing every moment with. There was no question that Candi was his. She’d always been his.

  His body responded to having her so close but he ignored his stiff dick. He was terrified he’d harm her or get her pregnant. She really was frail. He made a mental note to talk to someone about what was being done to the humans who’d kept her imprisoned. They needed to pay.

  Chapter Seven

  Candi watched 927 carefully. He’d changed his entire attitude toward her and while she appreciated it, she wondered why he’d become so enthusiastic to accept her into his life. She finished the breakfast he’d brought her.

  “Well?”

  “I liked it a lot. My stomach hurts a bit. That was a lot of food.”

  “Tammy suggested it. It’s one of her favorite things to eat. She said bacon cheeseburgers and fries are good for adding weight. I asked one of the males to cook it for you. He offered to teach me, if you like hamburgers, so I can make them.”