by Faye Sonja
Florence smiled and Ben wondered what he needed to do to keep that smile on her face. Florence sighed. “Well, maybe that’s enough.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Maybe you being soft is enough for me to marry you.”
Ben stared into Florence’s eyes. “What are you saying?”
“Ask me again.”
“Okay, Florence… will you marry me?”
“Yes.”
* * *
Florence watched as Ben smiled down at her. She returned the smile before turning her head back towards the canvas.
Ben took a step closer to her. “You don’t seem pleased,” Ben whispered.
Florence sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m just tired.” She was tired of so many things, really. The fear of being alone was gone now. She’d outgrown it, after realizing that she really wasn’t alone. Florence was never alone. She was blessed by the many close friendships she had. But while painting her portrait, Florence began to realize that her feelings no longer mattered as much. She was eight months pregnant and would be delivering in a month. The time for making hard decisions was now.
Florence had never met her father. When she’d asked her mother who he was, her mother hadn’t known. Either that, or she’d just decided not to tell Florence, and now, Florence was going to have a baby herself. Did she really want her child to have the same life as her? Would she tell her child about how Eddie had left, or like her mother, would she tell her little boy or girl that she didn’t know who her father was? Benjamin was offering Florence more than just a wedding ring, and Florence would be a fool not to take it. Her child would have a last name, a mother who adored her, and a father with a soft, kind heart.
Ben believed in Florence’s talents. The sweet things Ben said to her meant more to Florence than the words of any other man, because Ben didn’t lie to her. But more than anything else, Ben had picked up and carried her canvas when no one else would. He didn’t point out her flaws. She could see them. Florence didn’t need more shame. She needed support and Ben was giving that to her. In the end, Florence was seeing more of Jesus in this one man than any other man in town. No, Florence wouldn’t get everything she wanted, but she’d be close. She took Ben’s hand and held it. She smiled genuinely up at him.
Ben smiled down at her. “When do you want to get married?”
“When we return to Haines.”
Ben nodded. “Sounds good to me.”
Florence leaned her head on his arm.
Ben kept his fingers laced with hers, but brought his arm over her head, and placed it around her back. The move had pulled Florence in closer. She placed her head on his chest. Ben whispered, “Let me give you a ride back to where you’re staying.”
Florence nodded and allowed Ben to steer her towards the door.
Ben drove Florence to the house she was staying at. The house belonged to a local Christian woman named Belinda. Since Florence would be staying for the entire ten days of the fair, Florence had saved money by sleeping in Belinda’s spare room. Ben walked Florence to the front door and kissed her on the cheek. “May I come get you in the morning?”
Florence nodded her head in agreement before going inside.
Belinda was up and about. “Is that the father?” she asked.
Florence sighed. Belinda was one of those older women, who felt that she had the right to ask any question she so pleased. She was nice, but Florence had been dodging the woman’s questions since she’d arrived yesterday. “No,” Florence said. “But he’s going to marry me anyway.”
Belinda’s blue eyes went wide. “Well, ain’t that somethin’.” Belinda, who was a wide woman, waddled to the kitchen. “You got an angel over you, girl. Come into the kitchen eat.”
Florence didn’t have to be told twice. She was hungry.
The two women sat at the table over bowls of macaroni pudding and cornbread. Florence’s eyes fluttered closed as she ate the cheese covered noodles. Salty and savory.
“So, what do you think you’re having?”
Florence shrugged. “I try not to think about it. I don’t want to end up wanting one gender only to get the other.”
“Sounds like you’re used to not getting what you want.”
Florence opened her eyes. “You could say that.”
“Lost your faith somewhere?”
Florence frowned. “No, I learned to not ask for too much.”
“Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you shall find. Knock—”
Florence sighed. “Yes. I know the saying.”
Belinda got up and went to the stove. “You’re going to have a boy.”
Florence watched the woman under hooded eyes. “How can you tell?”
“I’ve spent years as a midwife, and I’ve never been wrong. Not even once.” Belinda laughed loudly as she walked out of the kitchen, leaving Florence to her thoughts. A boy? Was it possible? Florence smiled. She’d wanted a boy, but hadn’t dared ask for one. Boys just seemed so much easier to deal with over girls. Boys seemed to also lead easier lives. Florence admitted to herself that she could be wrong on that account, but when she thought about the way her mother struggled and then the way she’d struggled as well… The world just seemed to revolve around the wants of men.
A boy. What would she name him? Now she had a new round of thoughts to consume her free time.
* * *
9
Chapter NINE
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
“I can’t marry you, Benjamin. I don’t
like being alone, but I want to be
with someone who will love me.”
Florence stood in the crowd as the bell was rung that started the pie eating contest. Jeremy’s hands were behind his back as he took his first bite into his blueberry pie. She cupped her hand over her eyes to block the sun as she stared straight ahead. There were six men in the contest; every one of them was much better than Jeremy. He was such a tiny thing compared to the rest of them.
Jeremy came up for air, took a breath, and then went back to work. He’d only been up for a second, but it had been enough for Florence to see how blue his face was already. The contest was simple. The first person to finish most of his pie before the bell would win. Florence shook her head as she ate another handful of popcorn from her bag. Salty and savory.
Ben had brought her to the fair, but had been called away to speak with some of the members of Haines’ business class. She’d asked what the talk would involve, but Ben had told her not to worry about it.
“How’s he doing?”
Florence turned to find Clara and Eve standing by her. She smiled. “He’s moving as fast as everyone else, but we can’t see the pies from this angle.
Eve’s sons, who were now ten, ran up to their mother. Clark asked, “Mom, can I have a nickel.”
“Me too!” Lewis said.
Eve went into her purse. “What’s the nickel for?”
Both boys got deathly quiet. Eve narrowed her eyes. “What’s the nickel for?”
They both looked at one another and then smiled at Eve. “Ice cream!” they said.
Eve put her purse down. “You two just had ice cream. Why don’t you eat some real food?”
“You mean like, a funnel cake?” Clark had his face scrunched up.
“No,” Lewis said. “I think she means like cookies.” He smiled. Both of the boys had Eve’s hazel eyes and brunette hair.
Clark smiled too. “Or candied apples!”
“Or cotton candy.”
“Or—”
Eve shook her head. “How about a hot dog or a hamburger?”
Clark and Lewis shared a look and then turned back to their mother. “Okay,” they said in unison.
Eve smiled and gave them the money they asked for. “Remember to meet me at the art exhibit later.”
The boys agreed before they ran off. Florence smiled at them
. “Belinda thinks I’m going to have a boy.”
Clara smiled. “That’s great. What are you going to name him?”
Florence frowned. She’d been struggling over that question all night. “I don’t know,” she admitted as she thoughtlessly rubbed her stomach. “Ben asked me to marry him again.”
Eve narrowed her eyes. “Well, that’s not news.”
Florence closed her eyes. “Well, the fact that I said yes, is.”
“What?” Clara grabbed Florence’s arm. “But I thought you wouldn’t marry a man who didn’t love you.”
Florence looked down at her stomach. “That’s true, but it’s not about me anymore. It’s about him,” she said, talking about the tiny baby that was currently pushing on her bladder. “I do want love,” she continued. “But I want my child to have more than I ever did. Benjamin’s a good man.”
Eve grabbed Florence’s other arm and smiled. “He is a good man. Don’t forget, it was him and Robert who helped me win back my father’s company. The Manning men could have kept the shares in their own name, but they didn’t. They signed it all over to me.”
Clara sighed, but smiled. “You ended up putting your husband’s name back on the shares anyway.”
“That’s because I trust Robert.” Eve turned to Florence. “I trust both of them.”
Florence sighed. “Are you sure you’re not being swayed by the fact that they look alike?”
Eve shook her head. “I’m sure. Also, I heard about what Ben did yesterday.”
Florence frowned. “What did he do yesterday?”
Eve narrowed her eyes. “Ben didn’t tell you? I was sure that was one of the main reasons you were telling him yes.”
“What happened yesterday?” Clara asked.
Eve shook her head. “Well, Robert only told me what Ben told him yesterday, but if Ben hasn’t told you, then I’d rather he tell you the story.”
Florence crossed her arms; making sure to not drop her popcorn. “Eve, tell me what Ben did this instant.”
“I shouldn’t.”
“Why not?”
Clara cut in. “I think what Eve is saying is that it will mean more to you coming from Ben himself.”
Florence narrowed her eyes. “That sounds mighty mushy coming from you, Clara.”
Eve smiled. “Love will do that to you.”
Clara looked away. “And other things…”
“Other things like what?” Florence asked.
“I’m pregnant.”
Eve gasped. “So am I!”
Florence’s mouth gaped. “We’re all having babies?”
The girls squealed and hugged each other in a tight circle.
A bell went off. They all turned towards the stage. Florence had forgotten all about the pie eating contest. She looked over at Jeremy. His face said just how sick he really was. Florence shook her head. He had no business even entering this contest.
A group of men walked towards the pie eaters before huddling into a corner to write down their votes. When they were done, one of them came to the center of the stage to announce the winner. “From Haines, Kansas. The winner is—”
No one from Haines waited for the name to be said. They knew Jeremy had won. Shouts flew up into the air from the crowd. Florence hadn’t known that that much of the town had been standing around them. She felt a hand tap her shoulder and turned around. She was still in Clara’s and Eve’s arms when her eyes met Benjamin’s. She smiled, nervously.
“I didn’t think he’d win,” Ben said over the volume of the crowd.
Florence shook her head. “Neither did I.”
“Congratulations, Ben,” Eve said. “We heard the good news.”
Ben tilted his head in Eve’s direction, but his dark blue eyes were only for Florence. “Thank you.”
Florence felt that first rush of heat spread to her cheeks. Ben did that to her. “Clara and Eve are pregnant.”
Ben’s eyes went wide. “Congratulations.” He hugged and kissed each woman's cheeks. “Robert and Joe have seemingly kept me in the dark.”
“Robert doesn’t know,” Eve said.
Clara smiled. “I just told Joe last night, but I’ve been pregnant for a while now.”
Florence gasped. “How pregnant?”
Clara shrugged. “Three months.”
Everyone gasped.
Eve spoke first. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
Clara shook her head. “I’ve only been married for five months and it might sound silly, but I didn’t realize it was even possible at first. This is all so new to me.” She covered her face with her hands in embarrassment.
Florence and Eve both hugged her and told her how wonderful she was until Clara took her hands down and smiled at the both of them. “Thanks,” she said.
Ben spoke to Florence. “If you wish to spend the rest of the day with your friends, I’ll understand.”
Florence looked at Clara, but Clara waved her off. “Go. Be with Ben.”
“Are you sure?” Florence asked.
Clara nodded and started to push Florence towards Ben. “Go, I’ll be fine.” Clara took Florence’s popcorn at the last minute. Florence didn’t mind.
Ben reached out for Florence’s hand and Florence only hesitated slightly before taking it. She looked back at Clara as she began to walk away; still holding Ben’s hand.
“Robert is going to be thrilled when he finds out.”
Florence smiled at Ben. “Yeah, he will be.” She leaned her head on Ben’s arm and breathed in his scent that clung to this light blue shirt. He had the sleeves folded up so that they bunched around his strong arms. The shirt seemed to balance out his red hair. Ben always knew just what to wear.
“How’d the meeting with the Business Association go?”
Ben smiled. “Fine.”
“Fine? What did they want to discuss?”
“Business.”
Florence narrowed her eyes. “What did you and Howard discuss last night?”
Ben sighed. “You.”
“Is he upset about the design?”
Ben stopped walking and turned to Florence. He took her other hand in his and sent her with a serious look. “He loves your designs. They’re amazing. It was all anyone talked about in our section of the fair. Never doubt your talent, Florence.”
Florence smiled, but shook her head. “Then why won’t you tell me what you discussed with him?”’
Ben sighed and squared his shoulders. “Howard will deny any claim that it was your mind that came up with the design, because of your… your condition. So, I told him that I would have nothing further to do with him after this project was finished.”
Florence’s eyes went wide. “You did that? Why?”
“Because, you worked hard on the project and you deserve the credit.”
Florence sighed. “But, what about your dreams for the Marketing Division?”
Ben shrugged. “I don’t want you to worry about me. I’ll find a way.” He smiled. “I’ve made it this far without Mr. James Howard. I don’t need him.”
Florence smiled and then shook her head. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?” She asked.
“Because, I don’t want your feelings hurt. I hurt when you’re hurt.”
Florence narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”
Ben brought Florence’s hands up to his chest. “I don’t know, but I hate seeing you so upset. You’re too beautiful to do anything but smile.”
Florence’s whole body felt light. “That’s such a nice thing to say.”
“It’s only the truth. I want you happy, Florence. I don’t want you to have to worry about anything.”
Florence shook her head. “These are things that only someone who loves someone says.”
Ben shrugged. “Well, I don’t know anything about love. I just know how I feel around you.”
“Well, how do you feel around me?”
Ben sighed. “I don’t know. But my heart hurts at the possibility of you c
rying. It’s why I’ve stopped saying the first thing that comes to mind. You make me more cautious.” He smiled. “When you smile at me, I feel like I can take on the world.” He let go of one of her hands to tuck some of her blond hair behind her ear. “I’ve never felt more content than I do when I looked into your eyes, Florence.”
Florence let go of Ben’s other hand and hugged him to herself as best she could considering her stomach. “Oh, Ben. You’re the most confusing man I’ve never met.”
Ben laughed. “Well, it’s your fault. I’ve never been this confused in my life.”
Florence smiled. “We’re going to be alright.”
“I never doubted that.”
Florence stepped back and then reached for Ben’s hand. They walked together towards the art exhibit.
* * *
10
Chapter TEN
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
“I can’t marry you, Benjamin. I don’t
like being alone, but I want to be
with someone who will love me.”
Ben stared at Florence’s painting just like everyone else around them. She’d won first place and the five dollars. Her painting had outshined everyone else's. The painting was so profound that even Ben felt captured in it. He’d never seen anything like it and neither had the people who were standing around. It was an intimate piece that seemed to speak of so many things. It was moving. It was so moving that many of the men and women of Haines, who’d been rude to Florence for months, were now all crowded around her, apologizing, and telling her how much they enjoy her work. Howard had come through the room. He’d grunted at the painting, but time had passed before even he could take his eyes off of it. Through it all, Florence was so humble. She accepted hugs and well wishes from the people who stood around her.
Ben stared at the painting again and experienced the newness of it once again. The painting was a simple one, but it was the detail that brought it to life. The painting was the profile of a mother looking down at her stomach. Her hand rested on the top of her belly. But, inside the stomach was the baby. The baby was reaching up to meet the mother’s hand. Their hands, even through the layers of flesh, were connected. But it was the facial expression of the mother and the baby that really brought it home. Their eyes seemed to be locked onto one another and those eyes said so many things. They said that no one else mattered in the world. They spoke of how precious life and love was, and for the first time, Ben realized he wanted a deeper connection. He wanted love. He wanted Florence’s love.