by Shari Low
‘I’m not sure what I should do,’ he said, his smile revealing the kind of white teeth that were natural and not the result of an expensive set of veneers. ‘Is it okay to give you a hug?’
Slowly, wordlessly, Hope nodded and was immediately enfolded in the broad, muscular arms of a man who was at least six inches taller than her, definitely over six feet tall.
The most surprising thing was that he was handsome. That wasn’t something she’d even considered before now, assuming he’d just be like most other dads of that age. Maybe he was – if the dads in question had a square jawline and an outdoor tan that creased into attractive lines at the side of his eyes when he smiled. His clothes helped too. A black T-shirt and black jeans, with leather boots that stopped on just the right fashion side of cowboy.
After seconds that felt like minutes, he pulled back. ‘Your eyes, they’re…’
He paused, and she finished for him. ‘They’re yours.’
It was the moment that all doubt was blown away. This man was her dad. And now she just needed to find out so many things. Who was her mum? How did he not know she existed? And the biggest question of all… did they have something much more important in common than the colour of their eyes?
Noon – 2 p.m
9
Agnetha
‘Happy birthday!’ The cheer went up as soon as Aggs opened the door that led from the back stairs to the café, the riot of noise bringing on a mortified case of the giggles. The café’s white brick walls had been decorated with balloons and streamers, and there was a ‘Happy Birthday, Agnetha’ banner hanging from the ceiling that stretched the whole length of the serving counter. However, it was the grinning faces in front of her that were the greatest thrill. She’d known that Val and Yvie were here, and that Skye was popping round to have lunch with them, but the rest of the friends she’d made at The Wednesday Club were beaming at her too.
‘We invited a few others. We hope you don’t mind,’ Isla whispered into her ear as she hugged her.
‘I’m delighted,’ Aggs said honestly. Several months of weekly sessions had brought them all so close and it felt so right to be sharing such a big day with the people who’d been by her side as she worked through this transition of her life. It was perfect. Marge and Myra were there, two septuagenarian sisters who’d lost their older sister, Maggie. There was Jonathan, whose wife had passed away in a drowning accident in Thailand last year. And Colin, whose partner of thirty years, Jason, had suffered a fatal heart attack at Christmas. A room of heartbreak. Of sadness and struggle. And yet, here they were, all happy for her, all laughing and cheering through sunny smiles.
All except… Where was he?
As she hugged everyone in turn, Aggs scanned the room again to see if he was hiding behind someone, but no, he definitely wasn’t there.
Ignoring the little tug of disappointment, she nipped over to say hello to a group of regular mums and tots who were sitting at the tables in the windows. Their round of applause showed they were delighted that they’d inadvertently stumbled on such a happy occasion.
She was on the way back to join her own party when the door opened. Her heart stopped. There he was. Rushing in at the last minute, Will Hamilton was in the building.
He came straight over, kissed her on the cheek, hugged her. Nothing untoward there. Just a friend, cuddling another friend on her birthday. At least, that’s what she hoped the others would think. Meanwhile, her insides were tumbling like a teenager on her first date.
‘Happy birthday, you,’ he whispered.
‘Thank you.’ Her reply was a bit strangled, aware that from the corner of her eye she could see Val, Yvie and Skye watching with interest.
It could have been her imagination, but she was sure she could feel the heat of his body as he added, ‘You look incredible.’
Her internal organs took another spin around her insides, while her brain sent urgent orders to her face. Act natural. Act nonchalant. Smile. Be cool.
‘You didn’t answer my text this morning,’ he murmured close to her ear, so that only she could hear. ‘Have you told them?’
She shook her head. ‘Soon. At the right moment.’
A flash of something crossed his face – what was it? Disappointment? Annoyance? Aggs wasn’t sure, but she couldn’t talk it out here and now without making it all too obvious, and this wasn’t the time or the place.
Whatever it was, he recovered quickly. ‘I’ve got a pressie for you, but I’ll give it to you later.’
Before she could reply, they were interrupted.
‘Will, you handsome big devil, come flirt with me and I’ll reward you with a bloody great chunk of carrot cake,’ Val bellowed, her arms out wide, as she welcomed him to the party.
Aggs breathed a silent sigh of thanks for the intervention. It had taken the heat off her and given her a moment to regroup and settle her inner turmoil.
Will Hamilton. Member of The Wednesday Club. And so much more.
They’d met on that first day, and her initial response to this tall, stoic man had been heart wrenching sympathy.
He’d been sitting across from her at the wooden table. Around the same age as her, she’d guessed, his body language screaming exhaustion, maybe defeat, as he’d stared into the mug in front of him. He’d been the next to speak after her. ‘I’m Will,’ he’d said, in a quiet voice that was husky with emotion. ‘My boy, Barney, my only kid, passed a year ago. One of those freak things. A fight outside a pub. He was out with some mates, the night before his twenty-first birthday and ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was nothing to do with him. Some maniac threw a punch, he went down, banged his head and…’ The words had caught in his throat. ‘We lost him. Just like that.’
He’d paused for a moment, visibly swallowing back tears. ‘After that, everything changed. My missus and I couldn’t cope with it. I guess that kind of thing either makes you stronger as a couple or tears you apart. Carol couldn’t look at me without seeing Barney, and I couldn’t change that, so we called it a day. For the first few months, I was a mess, to be honest, but then my doctor suggested I come here and it took a bit of time, but it’s helped me see things a bit differently. I realise now that I still have to get up. And what honour am I showing to my boy’s memory if I wreck my life, when he wasn’t even allowed to live his? So now I get out of bed, I go to work – I’m an engineer at the airport – I come here, I go to the gym, I go on holiday… And I miss him every day, but I can’t give up because now I have to live for Barney too.’
His very visible pain had chipped a piece off Aggs’ heart right there and then. This lovely man had experienced so much loss and yet here he was, still getting up in the morning, still trying to find joy, talking about his feelings instead of locking himself away. There was a lesson to be learned there. Inspiration to be drawn.
After that, their friendship had built gradually. He’d started popping into the café before work. Sometimes at weekends too. Their conversations always flowed effortlessly – two kindred spirits who’d suffered loss, both bereavement and their closest relationship.
Aggs understood that. Hadn’t her own marriage crumbled when life threw a curveball? Although, there was a former best friend shaped influence in there that had blindsided her. That experience had left her scarred and wary of trusting people, but with Will, she’d instinctively known that he would be gentle with her heart. So far, she’d been right.
Hopefully, no one noticed her blushes as she headed to the table in front of the counter. There were glass jars with lilac peonies, her favourite flowers, all the way along the silver jacquard runner in the centre and matching silver charger plates at every place.
‘Mum, you’re a stunner today. Your seat’s here, between me and your less attractive daughter,’ Skye laughed, ducking to avoid the teaspoon that came flying over the counter in her direction. ‘She’s far more violent too,’ Skye added, with a casual nonchalance.
Isla came around from behind
the counter, carrying two long platters of nibbles. ‘That may be true, but people love café cooks much more than they love lawyers.’
Isla put the platters of chicken skewers, haddock goujons, mini quiche, tiny steak pies and buffalo mozzarella balls on the table, just as Val and Yvie followed with a huge focaccia and a big bowl of salad.
Aggs felt a soaring wave of gratitude. She hated surprises, but this was one she could definitely live with.
‘Sandra and Nasim are here all day,’ Isla said, nodding to the two teenagers who usually worked Saturdays with Aggs, and who were now taking trays of coffees over to the mums’ group. ‘So relax and enjoy yourself.’
Skye passed the salad bowl to her. ‘We were going to take you out somewhere, but we knew you’d prefer to be here.’
‘You know me too well,’ Aggs agreed, feeling herself fill up with pure contentment. This was her home. And, yes, it was work, but it was also the place she loved more than any other, so to be in The Ginger Sponge, with people she loved, no big fuss or spectacle, was perfect. She could get back to work in a couple of hours and get on with the day, happily looking forward to a quiet dinner with Isla and Skye tonight.
‘Right then, Aggs, tell us your plans for this year then.’ Val couldn’t have known just how much Aggs wanted to answer that question honestly, but she couldn’t, not yet.
She and Will had talked this through. She was going to tell the girls about their relationship first, on their own, just to make sure they were comfortable with it all. God knows, it had taken Skye and Isla a long time to accept that their dad had moved on, especially with someone so close to them all, but they’d been much younger then. Aggs didn’t expect her news to be an issue, but she wanted it handled in a sensitive way. She’d tell them soon. Maybe later tonight when they were out for dinner, just her and the girls.
‘And we want to know your birthday wishes too,’ Val pressed her, putting her on the spot as everyone at the table immediately halted their own conversations to listen.
A searing red heat rose up her neck. This was why she hated being the centre of attention. Her body just wasn’t built for it.
‘Oh Val, you know I’m rubbish at this kind of stuff. I always sound like one of those pageant queens, but without the posh frock and perfect body. I just want… erm… happiness. For all of us.’ She met Will’s eyes across the table and returned his grin. ‘And to save the world from poverty, cure disease and find a way to make calorie-free cakes. I mean, not too much to ask, is it?’
‘I’d settle for the calorie-free cakes,’ Yvie offered. A curvy size 18, Yvie’s relationship with her weight yoyoed depending on her frame of mind. In the last few months, she’d been working on embracing her curves and it showed in her glowing, beautiful face, but she made no secret of her love of food. It was a passion she shared with her boyfriend, Carlo, who worked in his dad’s Italian restaurant. They were a match made in gastronomic heaven.
‘What about a new romance, Mum?’ Of course, that came from Isla, who had zero filter when it came to talking about personal lives. Aggs blamed it on that bloody Love Island programme. ‘Don’t you want to get back out there on the dating scene?’
All seventy-eight years of Marge piped in on that one. ‘Oh, you should, dear. Everyone needs a bit of romance and excitement in their lives. I’d do it myself, only I’d be worried about my osteoporosis.’
Her seventy-six year old sister, Myra, couldn’t resist chiming in. ‘Aye, Marge. One false move and you’d be in the fracture clinic. I couldn’t be pushing you in a wheelchair with my chest.’
Aggs tried to divert attention from the question, and from the fact that Will’s eyes were looking at her questioningly, by going along with the joke. ‘I’d push you, Marge, don’t you worry.’
‘No, you’re fine, love. I’ll stick to bingo. More exciting and you don’t have to pick up socks.’
Marge’s indignant retort set off unanimous amusement, and by the time they all settled back into conversations and enjoying their lunch, Isla’s question was thankfully long forgotten.
Aggs could hear snippets of the discussions.
Jonathan, who’d lost his wife, Jayne, when she’d got dragged down by a riptide in Thailand the year before, was talking about the fund he’d set up to pay for swimming lessons for primary school age kids in his village. Colin had decided to sell the timeshare he’d owned with Jason and go on a group hiking tour of Nepal with some of the proceeds. Everyone was finding a way to deal with their loss, to move on, and Aggs knew that it was time she did the same. Living here, taking care of her parents for the last ten years while bringing up the girls had been her choice and she didn’t regret it. But it was time. Time for her.
When Isla, Val, Skye and Yvie refused her offer to help with clearing away the empty platters and plates, Aggs excused herself. ‘Back in a sec,’ she said, before nipping through the side door to the corridor the loos were in. After washing her hands with the rose scented soap she provided for her customers, she opened the door to see Will waiting for her. ‘You’ll get arrested for loitering outside women’s toilets,’ she teased.
He shrugged, laughing. ‘You’re worth doing the time. Would it be crazy to kiss you right now?’
‘Completely. But I’ll let you,’ she said, going up on her tiptoes so that her mouth met his. At well over six feet, he towered over her, even in heels.
The first time he’d kissed her had taken her by complete surprise. It had been a month or so before, and the café had been open for a private function on a Friday night. Will had been on a late shift, his job as an aircraft engineer wasn’t nine to five, and he’d stopped in on the way back. Isla had just left, off to a club to meet her mates, and Aggs was about to lock the door when it opened.
‘Any coffee going?’
Her yelp had been instinctive. ‘There would have been if you hadn’t just terrified the life out of me. I was about to burst out my karate moves.’
‘You do karate?’ There was no concealing his surprise.
‘Er, no, but I did a self-defence course in 1998 and I’m pretty sure I can still remember the gist of it.’
The coffee had turned into a bottle of wine from the fridge, and they’d sat on the window bench watching the late night Glasgow world go by. Dog walkers. Pub goers. And later, after they’d been chatting for a couple of hours, young women in weather defying miniskirts and heels, arms linked with guys in T-shirts and no jackets, swaying and singing as they headed home from clubs. Time seemed to have a fast forward button when she was talking to Will Hamilton. Or maybe it was just that this was the first guy she’d got to know in a long time. It helped that they had so much in common, both trying to find their way back to some kind of normality.
‘Isla will be back soon,’ Aggs had said, surprisingly wide awake, despite a sixteen hour shift and three hours of conversation with Will.
‘I’d better be going then,’ he’d replied, picking up his phone and his glasses from the table. He began to rise, then paused, mid-movement. ‘Except…’
‘What?’ Woah, what was happening? And why did she suddenly have a rush of something she hadn’t experienced in so long, she barely recognised it? She was… attracted to him. Actually attracted. The hormones that she was sure had deserted her sometime around Mitchell buggering off with her best mate had apparently sprung back to life in a deserted café in the middle of the night.
‘Except… Sod it, I need to say it. I want to kiss you. I’m sorry. I know we’re friends and I’m probably crossing all kinds of boundaries here, and please don’t think that I came here tonight planning to do this because I didn’t, but the thing is…’
‘Kiss me, Will. Just kiss…’
He didn’t need to be asked twice.
The kiss had been thrilling and, even now, in the decidedly unglamorous setting of the corridor outside the toilets, it still felt as exciting as it had that night, and every time she’d seen him since. Always in private, of course, and kissing was all that h
ad happened so far. It had taken ten years for her to kiss another man. She wanted to get used to the idea before they let anyone else know about it or took it further. God, even the thought of that made her feel queasy with nerves. It had been twenty years and a couple of stones since she’d slept with someone new. Much as Will made her ovaries contract, she was still going to have to work up to anything involving nudity.
They unlocked lips. ‘I think I love birthdays,’ Aggs said.
‘I think I could probably get used to them too,’ he replied, nuzzling her neck.
Aggs playfully pushed him away. ‘Calm down there, Romeo. If Marge and Myra see this, it could set off their pacemakers. Right, better get back in. Hopefully, they haven’t even realised we’re both gone.’
As soon as she opened the door back to the café, she saw she’d miscalculated.
‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…’ Every pair of eyes in the room were on them, as Isla stood at the end of the table holding up a huge birthday cake. The chorus of song got louder as everyone in the café joined in, thrilling the toddlers that were over with the mums’ group.
The only thing to do was to brazen it out with a wide smile and act like there was nothing amiss. Just two people returning from the toilets at the same time. Nothing to see here. Nothing suspicious at all.
As the candles flickered and the chorus rose to a crescendo on the last ‘Happy birthday to yoooooooou’, Aggs slipped back into her place and then gasped as she saw the design on the large square cake. It was a photograph, transposed on to the icing. Another one that the girls must have found when they were clearing out her bedroom and the upstairs cupboard before decorating them both. Agnetha. Las Vegas. 1997. Her skin was glowing, every inch of her body taut and tanned, her hair flying behind her as she lay on a sunlounger in a white bikini, oozing youth and vitality and pure happiness, laughing at the person who was taking the picture.