by Shari Low
‘Do you have a picture of your boys?’ Ridiculous as it sounded, up until now, she’d only given real thought to her biological parents, not any potential siblings that this search would throw up. She couldn’t imagine she’d have much in common with two teenage American boys, but DNA was probably a good starting point.
‘Here they are. That’s Mack, and that’s Sonny.’ Aaron handed his phone over and Hope gasped. The older one, Mack, was the epitome of a California blond, his long hair tucked behind his ears, his ‘Ride or die’ surfing T-shirt the same colour as his pale blue eyes. But the younger one, Sonny… She could have picked him out in a line-up. They shared the same colouring and his eyes were identical in shape and shade to hers.
Aaron snatched the thought right out of her mind. ‘You look so like Sonny.’
‘Oh my God, I do. This is so crazy. I’ve never had a resemblance to anyone before and now I look like two other people on this earth. That’s so bizarre to me.’
Aaron nodded, clearly relating to the overwhelming reality of it all. ‘Yep, it’s a lot.’
Hope took a sip of wine. ‘What made you do the DNA test?’
She’d been curious about that right from the start.
A flicker of something new made him frown – sadness, maybe? Before he could respond, the waiter arrived with their food, and Hope wondered if he was glad of the interruption to prepare his answer.
‘Both my parents have passed now…’ he began.
‘I’m sorry,’ Hope replied, feeling a twinge of sadness for the grandparents that she would never meet.
‘Thank you. They were both in their eighties, had great lives, and didn’t regret a minute. They’d come to LA together from Oregon when they were barely out of high school and they were married sixty years. They spent the first decade or so working their butts off, building my dad’s construction firm, so my mum was well into her thirties by the time she had us. Time had passed, and they’d let their relationships with their families drift, so it was really just the four of us my whole life. After they were gone, and it was just my brother, Sly, and me left, I got to thinking that I’d like to have more than that for my boys, a bigger family, more people looking out for them, you know? So I did the DNA test. Found more cousins, aunts and uncles that I could round up in a rodeo pen.’ His eyes lit up as he said that, and Hope could feel how much it meant to him. ‘But I sure didn’t expect this. Didn’t see it coming at all, but I’m mighty glad it did.’
Hope’s insides melted. He was so sincere. So genuine. How lucky was she that he’d reacted in this way? And how much longer was her luck going to hold out when he learned the truth about why she’d tracked him down?
2 p.m. – 4 p.m
13
Agnetha
‘Right, my love, you enjoy the rest of the day. I’ll expect to hear that you got drunk and sang in the street before having a wild night of passion with a man with abs like a toast rack,’ Val told Aggs as she hugged her goodbye. Marge, Myra, Jonathan and Colin had already left, and Isla and Skye were in the kitchen clearing up, so it was just Val, Yvie, and Will who were still at the table and now the two women were getting up to leave too.
Yvie came around from the other side and hugged her next, while Val moved on to her goodbyes with the others. ‘Are you sure you’re okay? The first ones are always the hardest, but you’re doing great.’
Aggs knew exactly what she was referring to and she tried her hardest not to let her mind go there again. Her first birthday without her mum. And, yes, she’d give anything to have her here, but she was still determined not to wallow, not when the girls had put in so much effort. Besides, as she’d discussed with Isla earlier, her mum would be furious if Aggs moped. She heard her mum’s voice again, but this time it was in her head and not Isla’s perfect impersonation. ‘Get on with it, love. Nothing else for it.’
On her last birthday, she’d sat with her mum all day in hospital, feeding her yoghurt, brushing the wisps that were left of her hair, rubbing moisturiser on her arms and hands, trying desperately to repair some of the damage that the chemo had wreaked on her mum’s body. For the years before that, other things had been more of a priority than the number of candles on her cake. So while the first birthday without Mum made her heart a little sore, she knew, without a single doubt, that both her parents would want her to live, to love again and to be happy. Especially today.
‘Thanks, Yvie,’ Aggs murmured, before roping Val back into a group hug. ‘I love you both. I’d never have got here without you.’
‘Oh, you would have, lass,’ Val argued. ‘And you wouldn’t have had to feed us all so many cakes. I’ve put on half a stone since you joined us.’
It was the perfect retort, and both women were still laughing when they hugged Will and then disappeared out of the door.
‘Would you think I was losing it if I told you I’m fairly sure my mum sent those two into my life to make me laugh, even when things are crap?’
Will shook his head. ‘Nope. You know I think the people that aren’t with us any more are still around. Makes sense that they might give the fates a nudge sometimes.’
They’d talked about this so many times. Will absolutely chose to believe that Barney was still with him, watching over him. Aggs hoped it was true, otherwise, the daily conversations she had with her mum were just her talking to herself while making a cup of tea every morning.
She slipped into the seat next to him and had a quick look over her shoulder to see if Isla or Skye were eavesdropping. No sign of either of them. They must be in the kitchen now, clearing up, or chatting, or declaring war on each other. It could be any of the above.
‘I was thinking that I was going to tell the girls tonight. We’re going out for dinner, just the three of us.’
Will frowned, then recovered quickly, a reaction that Aggs didn’t understand. Had he changed his mind in the last half-hour, somewhere between the tête-à-tête outside the loos and here?
‘Is everything okay?’ she asked, puzzled.
‘Totally fine.’ He didn’t sound totally fine, but maybe it was just because he was a bit nervous about what they’d say. He went on, ‘I was just thinking that maybe you’ll be too busy chatting about other stuff to tell them tonight. Maybe today would be better? I could wait and tell them with you, if you like? Give you a bit of moral support?’
Aggs thought about that for a moment. ‘You’re lovely to offer, but I’d rather do that on my own.’ Maybe he had a point on the timing though. The girls were both here, so if the opportunity arose this afternoon, perhaps they could have the conversation then and get it over with, instead of waiting until later. A twinge of anxiety made her lips purse, but she pushed it back down. She was forty-five years old. A grown woman. She’d been divorced for ten years. If she wanted to have a relationship with a new man she was perfectly entitled to. In fact, it was long bloody overdue.
‘No worries. When do I get to give you your birthday present?’ Will asked, now sporting the kind of grin that hinted at something more than a little flirtatious.
Aggs raised her eyebrows. ‘Is it illegal? Or a framed picture of you in Speedos?’
His laugh made a couple of the mums at the window table look over and smile.
‘Bugger, how did you know? I thought I’d managed to keep it a secret.’
‘Call it intuition. And, you know, a manifestation of the kind of images I see in my nightmares.’
He leaned forward, his eyes glistening with amusement and lowered his voice. ‘I’m so glad I met you, Agnetha McMaster. You’ve no idea how good it feels to have someone to laugh with again.’
Agnetha didn’t correct him, but the truth was she knew only too well. She just smiled and let her fingers quickly graze his. It was all they needed. A connection. She glanced around again, making sure the girls were still nowhere to be seen. Coast was clear.
‘Maybe I can just tell you about your present then?’ he suggested. ‘Perhaps show you a picture?’
‘Oh God, I knew it was the Speedos.’
Will pulled his phone from his pocket and flicked to his Apple wallet, then showed her a boarding pass for…
She peered at the screen. Damn. It was fuzzy without her glasses, but that looked like her name. And a flight ticket to…
‘Paris?’
‘Oui.’
‘You speak French?’ she asked, shocked, not yet taking in the element of this equation that she should actually be gobsmacked about.
‘Non,’ he admitted with a Gallic shrug. ‘That’s all I had. So, what do you think?’
‘Will, I…’
‘Please don’t say no. Come. To Paris. With me.’
‘But… but…’
‘Don’t say “but”,’ he pleaded.
Aggs was still too shocked to formulate anything as elaborate as a sentence, so she went with, ‘When?’
That made him smile. ‘Tomorrow morning. Two days and one overnight stay. Back Monday night.’
‘But…’ she stopped when he gently interrupted her.
‘It’s an early flight tomorrow, and you’re off anyway, so you’d only need to find cover for Monday and I’m sure Isla could rope someone in to help her. Val would do it if you’re stuck.’
Wow, he’d thought all this through. And he was still talking.
‘You once told me that travelling was like nectar for your soul when you were younger, and that you used to love to be spontaneous. Well, I know you’re out of practice, but come and be spontaneous with me, Aggs.’
Aggs knew her mouth was open, but words appeared to be elusive. This was the kindest, sweetest thing that anyone had done for her in a long, long time. And what made it even more touching was that he’d obviously really listened to her when they’d had all those late night chats, because everything he said was absolutely correct. Paris was one of her favourite cities and taking off for a couple of days there was exactly the kind of thing she’d done on a whim many times when she was younger. The patisseries, the pavement cafés, the Louvre, the left bank of the Seine, the romance…
Oh dear God, the romance! She immediately felt a state of panic originate on her unshaved legs, spread up through her cellulite, over her wobbly stomach, up past her droopy boobs and land in the creases on her neck. Had he booked a double room? WOULD HE EXPECT TO HAVE SEX???
The last time she’d showed her body to a man was ten years ago, and even then it was only to Mitchell and they’d been married for over a decade by then.
Breathe, Aggs, she told herself, trying desperately to climb down from DEFCON 1. Would it really be so bad? In fact, wasn’t there a possibility that it could actually be lovely? Will Hamilton was a thoroughly decent, kind, caring guy and, yes, there was no denying the physical attraction either. He’d had a terrible time and he was putting in a huge effort to make her happy. How often did something like this come along? And didn’t they both deserve to have a bit of fun?
She thought back to this morning and her plans for a new start and reclaiming her life. Well, Aggs, she told herself, here’s your chance, love.
‘Okay,’ she whispered.
‘Okay? As in yes?’
‘Yes. I’ll come to Paris, and yes, I think you’re bloody magnificent, Will Hamilton. I’d snog you now, but it’s a public place and PDAs make me a bit queasy, so I’d rather do it when we’re alone. But just know that I’m thinking about it and planning to make it the kind of long, slow kiss that you’ll want to remember.’
‘I like the sound of that,’ he said, his face splitting into a gorgeous grin. It struck Aggs that right now he looked years younger than he did when she’d first met him. Maybe that’s what a bit of happiness could do for the soul.
A buzz from the table interrupted the two of them just staring at each other with stupidly goofy gazes.
Will lifted his phone and tore his eyes from hers to read what it said on the screen.
Aggs’ gaze went to the clock on the wall. Almost 3 p.m.. It had been such a perfect day – a truly lovely, magical birthday.
‘Shit.’ It was one of those involuntary exclamations that he probably didn’t even realise he’d uttered. At the same time, like a balloon deflating, he seemed to shrink into himself, his shoulders hunched, his face settling back into the creases of heartache that weren’t there just a few minutes ago.
‘Something wrong?’ There was no need to ask. It radiated from his every pore.
‘It’s a text from Carol.’
Carol. Will’s ex-wife.
‘Is she okay?’ Aggs had never met her, but Will talked about her and he hadn’t hidden his feelings about how their divorce had broken his already shattered heart yet again. They’d shared something that Aggs knew would bond them for ever and even though it had torn their marriage apart, he spoke of her with nothing but respect and a sad, almost wistful affection.
Will shrugged. ‘I don’t know. She’s asking me to go over. Says it’s important and she needs to talk to me.’
‘When?’
‘Now,’ he said, clearly flummoxed. ‘I don’t get it. I haven’t heard from her for months.’
Aggs felt something inside her sink too, but she immediately chided herself. The poor woman. Grief didn’t have a time limit or follow a rulebook. Of course there would be moments when Carol would need to talk to the man who’d shared their son’s life, and death, and of course he should go.
‘Maybe she needs you,’ Aggs prompted gently. ‘I think you need to go. It’s the right thing to do.’
Will met her gaze. ‘I’m sorry. This is such bad timing. Did I just take the edge off Paris?’
Aggs smiled. ‘Not at all. You go and see Carol and I’ll go and look out my berets.’
His eyes flicked around the room and Aggs could see that he was checking no one was watching him. Satisfied, he leaned over and kissed her, lingering just long enough for her heart to thunder so loudly she didn’t hear the bell of the door opening.
It was only when it banged closed that she tore away from Will’s kiss and turned to see who’d come in.
Her face flushed beetroot as she realised who was standing there and what he’d just seen. Not that she should give a toss what he thought.
‘Aggs?’ Will probed, picking up on her reaction.
Aggs felt a giggle starting and cleared her throat to stop it. This was ridiculous.
‘Will,’ she said, as calmly as possible. ‘This is Mitchell. My ex-husband. Mitchell, meet Will.’
14
Mitchell
Mitchell froze. Shit. Talk about terrible timing. In the background, the cuckoo clock on the café wall chiming three o’clock sounded like it was laughing at him. Here he was, in the pits of angst about Celeste, and he walks in on Aggs in full lip lock with some guy. And he knew Aggs; she wasn’t one for casual dating, so this had to be something special.
Damn it.
Why had he even thought that coming here to talk to Aggs could be a good idea? He’d driven around for the last hour, bottling out of coming, changing his mind a dozen more times. He’d even gone home, had a coffee, and tried to settle to watch some footie on TV, but his mind was racing. So now he was here and right at that moment he’d pay good money for a hole to open up on the tiled floor and swallow him.
After a pause that was on the wrong side of awkward, Aggs’ questioning expression snapped him into action and he stepped forward, just as Will rose from his seat and did the same. Now that he was on his feet, Mitchell could see that Will was taller than him, well over six feet, and had the wide shoulders and lean frame of someone who worked out.
The two of them shook hands. ‘How’re you doing?’ Mitchell said out of habit.
The answer wasn’t necessary. Given what he’d just seen, Will was doing pretty bloody well.
‘Good, yeah. Pleased to meet you. Look, I’m just leaving…’
‘Don’t leave on my account,’ Mitchell blurted.
Will put his hands up in a reassuring gesture. ‘No, not at all. I was ju
st about to go.’ He leaned down, kissed Aggs on the cheek. ‘I’ll give you a buzz later about…’ He paused, clearly not wanting to mention something in front of an audience.
Was it Mitchell’s imagination or did Aggs look a bit flushed as she replied, ‘Yeah, that’s… erm… yeah, talk to you then.’
Mitchell’s toes were curling. This couldn’t be more awkward if he was standing there in his pants. Nothing else for it, but to bluff his way through and act like this was perfectly normal.
‘Good to meet you,’ he said as Will passed him, heading for the door.
‘You, too,’ Will answered easily.
Seemed like a friendly guy and he and Aggs were obviously a thing. Mitchell wondered why Skye had never mentioned him. He glanced around for his girls, but neither were there. Must be in the kitchen. That wasn’t a bad thing – would give him time to talk to Aggs – but the problem was that now he was so thrown he wasn’t sure if he could go through with it.
‘Well, this is a surprise,’ Aggs said, her smile warm. They’d become good at congeniality over the years. No choice. They’d both been so determined that the girls wouldn’t be scarred or emotionally damaged by their split that they agreed to put on a united front. He would always be grateful to Aggs for that, because he was under no illusion she’d had the worst end of that deal, having to be kind to the man and woman who had betrayed her in the worst possible way.
‘Come and sit down,’ Aggs beckoned, gesturing to a whole table of empty seats around her. Given the glasses, the cake, the pile of gifts and cards, there had clearly been quite a party.
Mitchell gave her a kiss on each cheek, then took the seat across from her, as opposed to the one next to her recently vacated by Will.
‘I just thought I’d pop in and wish you a happy birthday.’ Shit. Even as it was coming out of his mouth, he realised that if he was going with that line, he should at least have brought a card and a bottle of bubbly. They didn’t normally do gifts, but then, he didn’t usually come and see her on her birthday either.