by A. J. Locke
I put both hands on his shoulders and turned him to face me.
“Ethan, hey, what’s going on? Talk to me, tell me something.”
“Selene…I um, I don’t know, I feel strange. Like there’s a pull, but it’s not toward you. I don’t like it. What’s happening to me?”
“A pull toward someone who isn’t me?” I looked at Ilyse. “Are you as confused as I am?”
“I am,” Ilyse said. “Ethan, can you describe exactly how you are feeling? What sort of pull?”
“I don’t know!” That was a yell, and Ethan slammed his fists down onto the couch. “Oh God, my head…it’s full of…these aren’t my thoughts…what is this?” Suddenly he screamed and bent over, clutching his hands to the side of his head. His body started shaking, and I didn’t know if I should hold him tighter or move away. I cast a distressed look at Ilyse.
“I think it’s safe to say something bad is happening here,” I said. “Being clueless about it isn’t going to help. What can we do?”
“I wish I knew,” Ilyse said. “Something must have gone awry with his bind to you to affect him like this.”
“But why am I not affected? He was bound to me as much as I was to him. And how the hell can we be certain he isn’t bound to me anymore?”
“I’m not…I’m not…it’s not you…” Ethan had his arms wrapped around himself and was bent over, rocking back and forth. “This doesn’t feel right, I don’t feel right…Selene, help me.”
I looked at Ilyse, who looked unsure.
“I would need to do research before I could attempt to figure out what’s going on,” Ilyse said. “And I’m not sure there’s even a lot of literature out there that could help us.”
“Not the positivity we need right now,” I said. Ethan was trembling so I pulled him into my arms, and he laid his head on my chest.
“I’ll brew some tea, maybe it can help calm him.”
“What the hell is tea supposed to do? You have to figure something out, Ilyse. You have to fix him!”
Ilyse was on her way to the kitchen but stopped and turned back.
“Selene, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what the answer is. I’m sorry I can’t always fix things the second you need them fixed and the way you need them fixed.”
My eyes widened at Ilyse’s outburst. Tears filled her eyes.
“Ilyse…”
“You are not the only one with a weight to carry. Yours may be heavier, but you’re not the only one.”
“Ilyse, if you’re talking about the situation with my Rot…”
“I will have to live with that decision for the rest of my life. I will think about it every time I think about you or see you. It’s a terrible burden to bear but I chose to bear it for you. So you could live.”
“I’m sorry, Ilyse—”
“No, you’re not,” she said. “Not in this moment, not just yet. You are not in a place where you can forgive Micah or myself.” She sighed, and her shoulders drooped. “If I am to help Ethan I will have to go see what I can find out. You’re right, tea is not the answer.” She picked up her bag and headed to the door. Part of me wanted to go give her a hug, another part of me wanted to stay on the couch holding Ethan. In the end, I stayed on the couch.
“I’ll let you know when I find something.” She closed the door softly behind her and was gone. I let out a breath, feeling drained all over again.
“Wh-what was that all about?” Ethan’s shaking had eased a little but he was still huddled closed to me.
“It’s not going to be a story you enjoy hearing.”
“Tell me anyway.”
So I did.
“Wow,” he said when I was finished. “I can’t believe that’s what they had to do to save your life.”
“It’s terrible. I don’t know if I can forgive Micah and Ilyse.”
“They did it because they love you.”
“That doesn’t make it right,” I snapped. Then I sighed. “I know they did it because it was the only way to save my life, and I’m not sure I would have made a different choice if it was the other way around. But it’s still…”
“Hard to accept. Hard to live with.”
“Yeah. My life can’t continue at the expense of others.”
“But…are you willing to die then?” The look on Ethan’s face sent a clear message that he wasn’t ready to see me die.
“I don’t want to die anymore than you, Ilyse, or Micah want to see me dead,” I said. “I just wish there was a third option.”
“What if there isn’t one?” Ethan’s voice was soft.
“I don’t know Ethan. I might just have to…”
“Don’t say it.” He wrapped his arms around me, and I could feel the trembling going through his body. I don’t know how much of it was from fear of me dying and how much was from whatever was wrong with him. “I know what it may come to eventually, just don’t say it, OK? Don’t ever say it.”
“All right.” I hugged him back. I wasn’t keen on saying those words anyway. The longer I could try to ignore it the better. “I’ll focus on you instead. On figuring out what’s wrong and how to fix it. But for now how about I get you into bed?”
“I’m beyond exhausted but I don’t think I can sleep. Too much on my mind.”
“Well, I’ll get Luna and the three of us can get comfortable and you can tell us about your visit with your family, how’s that? Maybe I’ll even make us some hot chocolate.”
“That could work. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be to see my family. And when I became intangible and they couldn’t see me anymore I played tricks on them.”
“See, I knew it wouldn’t be bad. You should always listen to Selene, she’s very wise.”
“Yeah, yeah. Go see about that hot chocolate.”
* * *
The night was restless for all of us. Ethan alternated between having fits and just laying there lethargic. Sleep was hard to come for me for obvious reasons, and Luna didn’t enjoy all the jostling. Ilyse had called, but it was only to say that she hadn’t figured anything out yet.
It was morning now, and the three of us were in the living room watching one of the channels Ethan enjoyed. I wasn’t completely following what was going on, but there were a lot of people dressed up in colorful and sometimes skimpy costumes, and there was a lot of geek talk that just made my eyes gloss over. But it was all in the spirit of trying to cheer Ethan up and distract him from how he felt and the fact that I couldn’t figure out what was going on.
My phone rang and it was once again Micah. Ethan noticed that he was calling and glanced at me but I shook my head.
“Not ready. Though I guess I’ll have to deal with him when he decides to come over and force the treatment on me again.”
“He said that?”
“Yeah, he’s not going to let me stop getting the treatment. Doesn’t care about what I want.”
“This is too complicated for me to really know what to say.”
“It’s OK. You don’t have to know what to say, being here to listen is good enough for me.”
“Everyone has their uses. I’m a good listening, and I can serve up the best burnt bacon in Brooklyn.”
“Probably in America,” I said. Ethan threw a pillow at me, then collapsed back onto the sofa and started to convulse.
“Ethan!” I stood over him and held onto his arms as he trashed.
After what seemed like an eternity, Ethan finally stopped. He slumped forward and laid his head against my shoulder while tiny tremors shook his body.
“I don’t understand, what the hell is going on with you—” I cut myself off when something dawned on me. “Our connection…”
“What?” Ethan’s voice sounded disjointed.
“You said you don’t feel our connection and it can’t be for no reason. You were bound to my reanimation power. Something is going wrong and it must be because of Renton’s treatment. Remember what he said? The treatment works by blocking my reanimation po
wer and giving the Rot the power of the other reanimators to consume. The block on my own power must be what’s breaking the connection between us and causing you to act this way.”
“It’s not an act, trust me. I feel like crap.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah. It makes sense…but how do we stop it? Wait… I already know the answer to that.”
“I have to let the foreign reanimation power get consumed by the Rot. Then you will be better.”
“But you won’t be. And at any rate what you said makes sense but it’s still a theory. There could be a completely different explanation for this.”
“Really, Ethan? Do share your theories. I would love to hear them.”
“Never said I had theories,” he muttered. “I just don’t want this to be true. I don’t want you to have to go back to suffering.”
“And I don’t want you to suffer.”
“But Selene, the Rot—”
“You’re team Micah and Ilyse, aren’t you?”
Ethan sat back so he could look at me. “I’m team ‘Selene doesn’t die.’ However that needs to happen.”
“You know exactly how, Ethan. How can you be OK with it?”
“How can you be OK with dying?” That came out as a yell, and I was taken aback for a moment. I opened my mouth to say something when our attention was caught by the fact that the show that had been playing had abruptly changed to a breaking news segment.
“Oh no. Oh no.” I was on my feet staring at the screen with wide eyes while a cold feeling spread through my body. The news showed footage of a ghost monster, which was never a good thing, but what made this one worse was the fact that the rampaging ghost monster was Isabelle’s beastie. The beastie was supposed to hiding out at the bottom of the Hudson, but here it was barreling through Central Park.
“There!” I flung my arm out toward the TV as I turned to Ethan. “More proof that I am the connection here. That is the anchored beastie of the girl we found in the backyard. Clearly my ability to control it has been compromised because of what Renton did to me, and now there is no stopping it because even if I went out there with a binding rune it would not work. The control has already been broken. Shit!” I started pacing. I felt sick and anxious and just about all the negative emotions I could feel right now. I had no idea what to do. Short of killing myself, none of this would be fixed. I stopped walking and gave a sudden bark of laughter that had Ethan looking at me as though he thought I had lost my mind.
“Wh-what? Did you figure something out?”
I shook my head. This was so terrible and ludicrous that I almost couldn’t believe it was my life.
“No, I have figured nothing out. Maybe I am becoming delirious. I just cannot remember the last time I woke up and didn’t have a lifetime’s worth of problems to shoulder. This is unbelievable.”
“As a guy who was kicked out of his body by a homicidal ghost and his brother, I can totally agree with you. But becoming delirious isn’t going to help the situation with that anchored ghost monster out there.”
“I know.” I dropped onto the sofa, feeling very weary. “I don’t know what to do. That beastie is going to massacre people and all I can do is sit here on my couch. I have never felt so useless in my life. Or terrified.”
“You really don’t think going out there with a binding rune will help?”
“Not this time.” I dragged my hands through my hair. “Damn it, how long will it take for Renton’s treatment to wear off? That is the only way any of this gets resolved.”
“Yeah but—” Ethan was cut off by loud banging on the door followed by the very, very angry voice of Tielle.
“Selene Vanream, if you’re in there open the door or the task force I have brought with me will break it down.”
Well that wasn’t necessary at all. There was only one reason an angry Tielle would have made a beeline for my house and it had everything to do with the footage on TV. I looked at Ethan, who looked terrified, and made a quick decision. I pulled him to his feet and yanked the energy runes from around his neck.
“Run,” I said. “I know you’re not feeling a hundred percent but I need you to get out of here. Run through the walls and out the back door and get out of here. If they’re here for me they will take you too. Find Micah or Ilyse but only at their homes and only if it seems safe.”
“But—”
“This is not up for debate. Go!” He gave me one last sad look over his shoulder then ran through the wall that led into my bedroom and was gone. I hoped he would be able to get away from whatever Tielle had brought to my front door.
“Selene, this is your last warning…”
“Yeah, I hear you loud and clear. Maybe give a girl a minute to put her face on before she opens the door.” I opened the front door. I wasn’t wearing makeup. Tielle stood there in all her scowling glory with other members of her government team along with a paranormal task force of about half a dozen men who were suited up and well armed. Some of them were even holding up those clear shields like they expected me to attack. I guess I should be flattered that they thought they needed this much defense against me.
“Tielle—” Before I could say anything Tielle roughly pulled me outside and twisted my arms behind my back so she could slap on some handcuffs. Then she indicated to a few of the officers to go inside.
“If you break it you bought it,” I called over my shoulder as I heard something shatter. Why couldn’t people be courteous and careful when they were invading your house?
“Selene Vanream you are under arrest. You finally did something you can’t talk yourself out of and no judge can dispute that you are too dangerous to remain free. That beastie out there was thought to have been taken down, yet here it is on a rampage, and no amount of rune bullets is stopping it. You got away with it the first time, but now you’re caught.”
“It was my inadvertent doing!” I said as she turned me to face her. “This whole thing was set in motion by someone else!”
“It’s never something you mean to do, is it? Yet it’s been done and the only way to stop this is to stop you.”
“I don’t like how that sounds.” The men came back out and one of them told Tielle that they had found nothing except my dog. I hoped Ethan would remember to tell Micah or Ilyse to come get her. I had no idea how long I would be in Tielle’s clutches, and I didn’t want my little dog to starve. Tielle turned her eyes back to me. I swear if her eyes could literally be on fire right now they would be.
“Where is the ghost?”
“I sent him out for some fresh air.”
“We will find that ghost, but for now, we’re going to deal with you.” She dragged me toward a police car. “I told you I would get you, Selene. All you had to do was be yourself and fuck up.”
“I’m glad this is such a victory for you.” I was putting on a brave front, but I was terrified of whatever was going to happen next.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
The light in here was too bright. And this place could use a window. It was also kinda chilly so a space heater would have been nice. It was like they were blasting the air conditioner on purpose. The portly guard sitting at his desk several feet away had a cardigan on. They probably wouldn’t listen to me if I asked them to turn the AC down, but why didn’t he ever ask?
So this was prison. I suppose it could be worse if I was on Riker’s or something, but there really was no way to come out on top when ranking prison scenarios. I was exhausted, but couldn’t sleep on the hard metal bed. I also couldn’t sleep because the guard had a dinky television mounted over his desk and all it played was news reports of Isabelle’s beastie. I felt sick. Rune bullets had no effect and it was being reported that the beastie was anchored, and I was behind it. Because who else out there could anchor beasties but little old me?
I opened my eyes, which I’d closed against the bright lights, and stared up at the ceiling. Was I ever going to see the sun again, or would I meet my end here?
> The sound of a door opening made me turn to see Tielle striding down the long hallway. As usual, her face was a mask that revealed no indication of her emotions. I’d have thought she’d be gloating. I wearily dragged myself to my feet to face her, although I didn’t think I had it in me to go back and forth with her. I just wanted this to end. If this kept up I feared I would lose my damn mind.
“Ready to talk?” Tielle asked once she was standing in front of the acrylic wall that caged me in. She had her arms folded over her chest, and I suppose she was meant to look intimidating.
“Sure, how’s the weather out there? Any teams won any sports? Did the health care reform bill finally get pushed through? Do you think I should get bangs?” Guess I did have a little back and forth left in me. Or maybe I was becoming delirious. I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. All they’d given me was a pitcher of water. Did Micah know where I was?
Tielle’s eyes narrowed. “Look, Selene, there is no way to skirt around this. Why did you create an anchored beastie?”
I sighed. It was time to tell Tielle about Cecelia’s little business, as well as the fact that Renton was a madman and had come up with a dangerous way to save my life. I was sure she would believe me.
“I created an anchored beastie, yes,” I started. “But I did not intend to do it. Someone else made it happen.”
“What are you talking about?”
I took a deep breath and told her everything, starting with Cecelia’s story right through to my confrontation of her which ended when she knocked me out and Renton put a bullet in her head. Then I explained that Renton was not the man she thought he was, but he had come up with a way to save me from the Rot. When I was finished, Tielle didn’t say anything for a long time. I folded my arms over my chest, looked away from her piercing stare, and waited.
“You really expect me to believe this.” The tone of her voice said she clearly did not. How surprising.