I nodded. “I just hope it doesn’t make things weird at work. Like, are they going to think I’m looking at them when we change our clothes and shit like that?”
“Only if they’re assholes,” Sayer said.
I sat down on the couch, and Boone immediately trotted up and lay his head on my leg. My throat hurt a little from having Sayer’s cock down it, and I swallowed.
“Beer?” Sayer asked, and I nodded. He went to the kitchen and returned with a couple open bottles, taking a seat beside me on the couch where we drank and watched the fire and tree in silence.
“I do want you to fuck me,” I said suddenly.
“What?” Sayer turned to look at me, and I met his gaze.
“I want you to fuck me,” I said. “Tonight.”
“Uh, okay…”
“I won’t change my mind,” I said, and finished my beer.
After we’d gone through the food to see what was there, we put it away until later.
“How many people did Mike’s wife think were staying with you?” Sayer asked, making room in the refrigerator.
I laughed. “I know, right? There’s enough here for six people.”
When we were finished, I took Boone outside for a while. Sayer was painting again when I came back in. I noticed there was a package wrapped in red paper beside the gift I’d placed under the tree for him and smiled.
I got out Boone’s brush and sat on the floor with him, giving him some attention, while Perry Como sang White Christmas from the speakers on my mantel. Outside, the setting sun spread pinks and oranges over the packed snow.
Sayer stretched before walking over to me. “This has been the nicest Christmas I can remember having in a long, long time.”
I smiled up at him. “Me too.”
He sat beside me, took my face in his hands, and kissed me softly, lips moving over mine like he was trying to memorize the feel of them. The thought made me sad, and I pulled him closer, trying to communicate how I felt through the kiss. Because I did feel something for him—something blooming and precious that I hadn’t fully examined but knew was there.
After a few minutes of nipping, licking, and sucking, Sayer said, “Why don’t we try this in a real bed?”
I nodded and we got to our feet and walked hand in hand to my bedroom where Sayer had dumped our blankets and pillows earlier. While he began spreading them out, I stripped out of my clothes. When he turned and saw me naked, his eyes kindled with heat. I pulled his shirt over his head and began kissing his shoulders and chest, pausing to suck each brown nipple into my mouth.
Sayer groaned, hand on the back of my head. His cock tented his pants, and I hastened to free it. When I got to my knees and took him into my mouth, he groaned again.
“I love how you look doing that,” he said.
I smiled around his cock and sucked him hard. After a few minutes, he tugged me to my feet and we crawled onto the bed, lying down beside one another and kissing for long, drawn-out moments. Our cocks touched, and a shiver ran down my spine. I pushed against him, and Sayer moaned.
“I haven’t changed my mind.”
Sayer nodded and reached for the oil. “Turn over with your back to me.”
I did, pushing aside the vulnerable feeling the position gave me. I wanted Sayer inside me and wasn’t going to let anything keep me from it, most of all my own fears.
When I felt Sayer’s hard cock against my ass cheek, I swallowed hard.
“I’m going to play with you with my fingers, just like I did earlier today,” Sayer said, sliding one finger inside me. His commentary put me at ease. Once his finger swiped my prostate, sending shivers up my back, I began to relax a little.
After the addition of a second finger and several twisting strokes, I was panting and had forgotten why I’d been so nervous.
“Sayer,” I said, voice entreating, and Sayer gently eased the head of his cock into me. The burn didn’t keep me from pushing back and dragging him in farther.
“Oh, fuck, Dane.” Sayer wrapped his arms around my chest. “Am I hurting you?”
“It’s good,” I said, a little surprised that Sayer’s careful preparation had loosened me up so much. I’d expected the experience to feel more invasive, but the warmth of Sayer’s boy against my back—knowing he was fucking me—was such a turn on, I barely noticed the burn and stretch.
I pushed back again, and Sayer let out a groan before thrusting in hard. God, his cock felt even better sliding against my prostate than his fingers had. Flushed all over, my body charged with pleasure, I let sensation take over. Sayer pulled my leg up over his hip, hitting me from a slightly different angle, and I cried out, clutching at his arm with one hand and the sheets with the other. I’d never been one to make noises during sex, but I couldn’t be embarrassed about it; I felt too good.
Sayer trailed his fingertips over and around my sensitive nipples while he continued thrusting into me, his mouth busy licking and sucking my neck, the combination putting me on sensation overload. How could it feel this good? I had another man’s cock up my ass, and I was loving it. I couldn’t say I’d never thought about it over the past few years, but when my mind had gone there, I had been the one on top.
“I’m not going to last long inside you like this,” Sayer said, the rhythm of his hips as ragged as his breathing in my ear.
I grasped my cock and tugged at it, speeding my building release along, and when I felt Sayer shudder against me and heard his little cry of ecstasy, I arched my back and my cock spewed onto the bed. I could feel Sayer pulsing inside me, and knowing he was filling me with his cum threw another layer of intimacy on an act that already had been more emotionally jarring than I’d expected. Teary-eyed and breathing hard, I clutched one of Sayer’s hands as we recovered.
“That was amazing,” Sayer said before pressing kisses down my neck and shoulder. “Are you okay?”
I nodded. “More than.” I smiled as Sayer sighed and sank against me, not bothering to pull out just yet.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Sayer
Something had changed in me since making love to Dane. First of all, I hadn’t thought of sex as making love since Nate, but I couldn’t deny what had just happened had been exactly that. I lay awake, Dane’s soft, even breathing telling me he’d dozed off with my cock still in his body. I ran my palm over the light fuzz on his chest, the other still in his now-relaxed grip. We were as close as two people could get, and I suddenly realized I didn’t want to leave this man. Ever. Not if he wanted me to stay. But did he? Or was this a fling he welcomed as a chance to explore his sexuality? I couldn’t expect more from him.
My softened cock slipped from Dane’s body, and I smiled when he murmured and frowned in his sleep. I pressed a kiss to his head. Which did I like better? Me inside of him or him inside of me? I don’t think I could decide. They were both so good in their own way.
After a while, I drew the covers up Dane’s long body and carefully rolled out of bed, padding through the living room into the kitchen to begin warming up dinner. Mike’s wife had really gone out of her way, sending us a small ham, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, rolls that smelled homemade, pecan pie, and apple cobbler. Still naked and not keen on burning my sensitive parts, I put on the apron I’d worn before. A heartwarming Christmas song by Celine Dion about being together over the years played in the living room, and when I glanced out the window, a big moon had risen over the snow-covered yard. My heart squeezed in my chest.
I glanced at the photos on the wall. Dane featured in two of them, looking young and carefree. Grief had aged him a little since then, but there was no question he was a gorgeous man, someone who would look at home outdoors. What would he want with a guy like me? Older, jobless, homeless. I had absolutely nothing to give him.
“Something smells delicious,” Dane said as I was taking the casserole dishes out of the oven a few minutes later. “And your ass looks amazing in that apron. Or I guess I should say poking out of it.”
Dane crowded me into the corner, body pressed against my back, and licked and nipped at my ear until the apron began to tent in the front. I steadied myself with my hands on the counter, barely breathing as Dane slipped his cock between my legs. I tightened my thighs around him as he pushed against me.
“God, that feels better than I would have imagined,” he said hoarsely.
His cock slipping between my thighs and against my taint felt pretty damn good to me too.
“Can’t get enough of you,” Dane said.
I reached down and flicked my fingers over the head of his cock when it poked from between my legs, making Dane gasp and shudder against me. “I’d like nothing better than to get fucked against this counter, but we need our strength. So how about we eat before we get to it again?”
“Probably a good idea,” Dane said, but instead of letting me go, he kissed and nipped at my ear and neck until I was ready to forget about lunch.
Boone barked, and Dane finally pulled away.
“You hungry boy?” he asked.
“I know I am,” I said, turning around. “But not for food anymore.”
Dane smiled, boyish and sweet, and my heart turned over.
“Did I mention how glad I am you’re here with me?” he asked, kissing my hand.
“You might have,” I said, grinning. “Go on, feed the dog, and then we can feed ourselves.”
I plated some food while Dane took care of Boone and got us each a pair of sweatpants. Then we sat down at the small kitchen table.
“Hey, again, I’m sorry about what happened with your friends. I’m sure that was really awkward for you,” I said.
Dane shrugged. “It is what it is. I’m not going to worry about it or let it ruin our Christmas.
Our Christmas. I couldn’t let how nice that sounded get to me. In a few more days, I’d have to be moving on.
“Sayer, would you mind if I sent some pictures of your work to my friend at the coffee house? I really think she’d be interested in showing them.”
As I couldn’t travel with the pictures anyway and would have to leave them with Dane, I agreed, privately thinking she probably wouldn’t be as interested as Dane seemed to think.
Dane grinned. “Good. I’m going to do that now.” He left the room, and I gathered our plates and took them to the sink.
CHAPTER NINE
Dane
I awoke in my bed, entangled with Sayer. Sayer looked peaceful and achingly handsome asleep. We’d sat in front of the fire until late and then decided our backs couldn’t take another night on the floor. After a sleepy make-out session, we’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms. It felt so good waking up with his warm body next to mine; I’d always enjoyed sleeping with someone and had protested any time Liz had fallen asleep on the couch watching TV. Sleeping with a man felt different and somehow better, and I couldn’t help the twinge of guilt at the thought. After all, this had been our house, our bed. Realizing it was all better with Sayer made me feel like a traitor to my marriage. And shouldn’t I have been feeling guilty all along? The fact I hadn’t made it worse.
Turning my head, I looked through the crack in the curtains. The sun was out. The sound of Boone’s collar shaking and toenails on the wooden floor got me out of bed, and after I’d taken him out, I whipped up some eggs and toast, still feeling a little out of sorts.
Had I been selfish in begging Liz to stay? Would it have been kinder to let her go? Of course, we hadn’t known then how little time she’d had left, and I couldn’t help but be happy to have spent that time with her. But it didn’t lessen the fact things had been different between us after that.
“Good morning.” Sayer’s appearance in the doorway brought a smile to my face.
“Morning, sleepyhead.”
Sayer shuffled into the room, scratching his bare chest. He wore my sweatpants from the night before. “How long have you been up?”
“About an hour. Have some coffee.”
Sayer poured some into one of the Santa mugs I’d gotten out of the cabinet. “You want a freshen up?” He nodded to my mug.
“Sure.”
We sat down to eat, something that was becoming an easy ritual. I’d been alone a long time and had forgotten how nice it was to share a meal with someone.
Think how many you shared with Liz.
“Something wrong?” Sayer asked.
“What? No, everything’s fine.”
“You just got a really sad look on your face.”
“Did I?” I shrugged. “I guess this time of year always comes with a little sadness.”
“Yeah,” Sayer said. “It does. I tend to miss my parents.”
I felt like a heel, thinking only of myself. How hard must it be for Sayer, estranged from his family and homeless to boot?
It was time I brought up what had been on my mind.
“Would you consider staying here with me past the holidays? Maybe try to find work here?” When Sayer’s eyes met mine, I pushed on, “It’s as nice a town as any. A lot of good people.”
“What would I do here?” Sayer asked. “All I know is managing hotels.”
“We have those here,” I said, “and that isn’t all you do. You paint, and Riverbend is a touristy town. Visitors would eat up your paintings.”
Sayer smiled sadly. “I think you’re a little biased. All the fucking we’ve been doing has colored your senses.” He immediately looked contrite. “I’m sorry, that was a shitty thing to say. I didn’t mean to make what we’ve been doing sound like…less. This has meant a lot to me.”
Heartened, I reached across the table and took his hand. “It’s meant a lot to me too. More than you know. Sayer, I don’t want you to leave.”
A kind of resigned sadness radiated from Sayer’s eyes. “You’re just figuring out what you like. You deserve time to experiment.”
“If you think I’m going to download Grindr and start going to Smack Down, you’re wrong.”
Sayer frowned. “Smack Down?”
“It’s a gay club here in town. I’m not eighteen, Sayer.” I looked at him beseechingly. “I’m falling for you.”
Sayer removed his hand from mine.
“Dane, you’re moving too fast.”
It felt like a slap in the face. I stood up from the table and began clearing it.
“Listen,” Sayer said. “This time we’ve had together—it’s been the best few days of my life. I like you a lot, Dane. I could easily feel more. But that’s not fair to you. You haven’t been a widower for long, and you’re just exploring your sexual preferences. I can’t just swoop in here and make you mine, no matter how much I’d like to.”
I couldn’t stop the shiver that ran through me at his words. I so wanted to be his.
“I resent you talking to me like a child,” I said, opening the dishwasher and starting to load it. “I chose to stay married to Liz even though I knew deep down I preferred men sexually. And that might have been the most selfish thing I’ve ever done because I’m just now realizing how unfair that was to Liz. I chose to bring you home with me and to sleep with you. I don’t do what I don’t want to do or say what I don’t mean.” I turned and looked at him. “And I want you to stay. You don’t have to stay here with me, if you don’t want. I mean, if you’d rather go to the shelter or something. But I’m asking you, Sayer, to please give things between us a chance.” When he didn’t immediately say anything, I added, “Or am I being selfish again and forcing what I want on someone else?” I set down the dish I’d been rinsing and turned off the water.
Walking over to Sayer, I took his hands in my wet ones. “Do you want to be with me? Be honest, please.”
Sayer stared into my eyes, looking so conflicted I almost told him he didn’t have to answer.
But I needed to know.
“I-I want to be with you,” he finally said, and I rocked
on my feet a little in my relief. “But I don’t take charity. I can’t be here with you on your dime.” He swallowed. “This is a nice town and probably a great place to live. But more than that, Riverbend is where you are.” He squeezed my hands. “Maybe I can get a place at the shelter for a while.”
I nodded. I didn’t want him at the shelter, I wanted him there with me, but I understood he had his pride. Leaning in, I kissed him softly, loving the feel and taste of his lips. He kissed me back, and soon we were wrapped in each other’s arms, our tongues entwining.
“Need you,” I said into his mouth. “God, I need you so much.”
Sayer nodded. Turning to the table, he let his—or rather, my—sweatpants drop and bent over.
“Take me,” he said, and my cock jumped. Looking around, I nabbed the bottle of expensive olive oil in the fancy decanter Liz and I had gotten as a wedding gift.
Tipping it on shaking fingers, I said, “We’ve got to buy some lube.”
Sayer laughed, but his eyes smoldered. “Get over here and fuck me hard.”
I groaned and pushed a finger into him, finding his prostate and laying into it until Sayer was a squirming, moaning mess.
“Oh, my God, get your dick into me now!” he demanded, and I quickly lowered my sweats and pushed into him, loving the shout of pleasure he gave as he gripped the edges of the table.
I pounded him hard, knocking a chair over in the process. The fact that we were in front of the window—never mind no one lived close enough to see us—gave the act a kinky feel that pushed me higher.
“Need you, need you, need you,” I chanted as I shoved my dick into his tight ass over and over.
“Take me; want you to,” Sayer panted, legs shaking.
My orgasm hit so fast, I didn’t even see it coming, and I shouted Sayer’s name, falling on top of him while my hips continued to piston. He sobbed into the wood, gasping and shaking, face flushing as he climaxed.
“I hope you have some good cleaner for this table,” he said when I’d backed up so he could stand.
The Key to his Heart for Christmas Page 6