by T. S. Ryder
"She rebelled against you because you didn't want to turn people into vampires?"
Rollon shrugged. "Well, I arrested her first. She turned Ingrid without her permission. And so Eva fled and vowed her revenge. All very dramatic, isn't it?"
Tindra sighed as she snuggled deeper into his arms. "I never had any brothers or sisters. I often wished for them . . . but my parents had hardly enough time for me, except to tell me to grow up. When I was five, they refused to let me watch cartoons because they claimed I'd get unrealistic life expectations from them."
This from the girl who had a huge collection of comic books? They certainly didn't do a good job if they didn't want her to get into that sort of thing. Why would a parent deny such a harmless passion, though?
"When my mom first found my comic collection, she grounded me. Said I was wasting my money. I had my own job, I worked for that money, but they wanted to control what I could spend it on. They started taking my paycheck and calling it rent. So I left. Sixteen years old. I had no idea what the world was really like. For all of their blustering about wanting to prepare me for life, they did nothing."
"Do you have any contact with them at all?"
"Yeah." Tindra propped herself on her elbow. "At least, after they split up. It's easier to talk to them now, although Mom is always on my case about growing up and having kids."
Rollon shook his head. "You don't have to grow up. I've seen you with Hilda. You have patience and such a vivid imagination. Good qualities for a mother. Your comics don't make you childish." He kissed her again. "You never have to worry about being judged for what makes you happy when you're with me."
With me. He shouldn't have said that. There was no with him.
He pulled himself out of her arms and slipped from the bed. "You need to rest now."
"What about you?"
Rollon shook his head. "I had blood and sex. There's nothing else I need. Thank you for helping me heal fully . . . You know that this was only a one-time thing, right?"
Her eyes widened.
"I should have made myself clearer, perhaps." He felt like a heel for what he was saying. He had made no indication that it was only going to be a one-time thing. That was because not staying with her forever wasn't even on his radar from the moment she stepped into the shower with him. "I can't get involved with a human."
Tindra's arms tightened over her chest. "So you're kicking me out?"
"No. You can stay here as long as you wish. You can shower again if you want, and there is food in the fridge." Rollon forced his voice to go smoothly and even. "But I decided a long time ago that I wouldn't be involved with humans any longer. You're just too fragile."
"I'm not fragile."
"You are. I have to remain in complete control. When were we in the corridor today? I could have drained you in five minutes. And in this bed together, if I had thrust too hard, I would have broken your pelvis." Rollon shook his head. "No. I prefer partners that can match me for strength."
Tindra stared at him. He expected anger, tears, pleading. Not this silence as her eyes seemed to pierce right through him. She didn't even move. It was so different from the high-energy woman he knew that he was unnerved. Had he really hurt her so much? Or was he putting thoughts out there that hadn't crossed her mind? Was he giving away his own growing affection for her?
"Okay," she said evenly.
Okay? That was it? Wasn't she going to fight for him more? He stared at her uncertainly. Was she waiting for him to turn away before she started to cry? Maybe she just wasn't all that into him . . . He quickly found some clothing and dressed. By the time he left, Tindra had rolled over with her back to him and was hugging a pillow.
Rollon hurried to this study. It was for the best. Still, when he got there, he collapsed at his desk, feeling drained. It was a mistake to accept her into his bed in the first place. He should have asked for a different human . . .
"Knock, knock." Thor stepped into the room, a smug, self-assured smile on his face.
"What are you so happy about?"
Thor's smile slipped off his face. "What happened?"
The most amazing lovemaking he could remember having. But Rollon wasn't about to admit that. "I will tell you what happened. Instead of being honest with me about your preferences, you dragged that poor girl into something she can't understand, hoping for us to get together. All you had to do was tell me you're asexual. You didn't have to go to these lengths to distract me."
Thor's brow furrowed. His eyes narrowed. "That isn't what I was doing and you know damn well it isn't."
"You know why I can't be with a human. You know that it wouldn't be forever. Did you even think about what that girl was going to go through here? What were you thinking?" Rollon roared, slapping both hands to his desk. His eyes blazed and Thor jumped.
"You know what I was thinking," his son snapped back. Thor brought a fist down on the desk as well. "I was thinking that my father is completely miserable. He has nothing in his life except all this violence. Your world is too small and I wanted to see you happy again. What is so bad about that?"
"You thought that—"
"No." Thor held up a hand. "No, Dad. I know. You might not have loved Mom, but you still cared about her. I don't know if you've ever been really, truly happy, but I know that this . . . This isn't healthy. Every year you get harder and I'm not going to stick around and lose you little by little without trying every damned thing I can to save you."
What could he say to that? Rollon slumped back in his chair. His chest ached. He rubbed it. Apparently, he hadn't healed up as much as he thought he had. No matter. In a few hours, he'd be right as rain. Thor still leaned on the desk, eyes blazing, looking so much like his mother that Rollon almost laughed.
He didn't though. There was nothing funny about this situation.
"I appreciate your concern. We'll have to talk about this later when we're not in such emotional states. For now, I need you to be the prince."
"Dad—"
"Eva was able to get into the palace. She knew about Tindra and a secret passage even I didn't know about. I need you to investigate. Find out how she knew."
Thor ground his teeth but nodded. "It will be done, my lord."
Rollon flinched. "Thor—"
But he was already gone. Rollon let his head fall back. Great. What was he meant to do now?
Chapter Eleven – Tindra
After Rollon left her, Tindra had rolled over, buried her face in his scent and cried herself out. She had slept a little, and when she awoke, she realized she didn’t want to be waiting in his bed when he came back. She dressed and left the room. She had headed straight back to her apartment and called room service to clean the king’s chambers.
If he didn’t want her, then she wasn’t going to leave anything behind for him.
She knew she ought to just leave the palace and go back to her life, but she wasn't ready to do that right away. So she took a long shower, slept some more, and curled up in the bay window with a handful of her favorite comics from the library.
She was almost done with them when there was a timid knock at her door and Hilda came in. Tindra pushed aside her mess of emotions and smiled warmly at the little girl.
"Hey. Are you doing okay?" She held her arms out and Hilda ran to her. Her shoulders shook as she clung to Tindra, but she didn’t make any noise. "It’s okay. It’s okay. What’s wrong, lovely?"
Hilda sat beside her, head hanging, tears leaking from her eyes. "I thought Eva had come back. Nobody will tell me why she left and nobody will tell me why she and Rollon are fighting. Ingrid hasn’t been happy since she left. Why won’t anybody tell me what is going on?"
Tindra stroked Hilda’s fine hair, a frown on her face. Was it really her place to tell Hilda what she knew? She was only a child.
A child who has lived longer than me. Even Thor is younger than she is. Maybe vampires froze mentally at the age when they were turned, but that didn’t mean that Hilda couldn�
�t understand what was going on around her. She deserved to have answers, not just confusion and tears.
"I don’t know everything," Tindra said slowly. "But I’ll let you know what I have been told."
As briefly and gently as she could, Tindra told the child what was between Eva and Rollon. By the time she was done, Hilda had her face hidden in the folds of Tindra’s shirt, her shoulders shaking and sobs ripping through her body. Tindra stroked her hair, wishing she knew what to say to make it better.
"Why wouldn’t they tell me?" Hilda wailed plaintively. "I had a right to know. Why would they make me hope . . . Why would they let me still love her if she has done all of that to us?"
"They didn’t want you to be hurt, baby. They didn’t want you to have to go through that pain."
Hilda pulled away. "Well, I’m hurt now!"
She tore away before Tindra could say anything else. The human called after her, but Hilda didn’t turn around. Mentally kicking herself, she grabbed her phone and called Ingrid. This was exactly why she shouldn’t have kids. She didn’t know how to keep her big mouth shut. Tears burned her eyes as she called Ingrid and quickly told her what she had done.
Ingrid sighed. "I suppose it was inevitable. I wish you had talked to me first."
"I'm—"
"I'll find her and talk to her." Ingrid hung up.
Tindra closed her eyes, a headache pounding in her skull. Was Ingrid going to be angry with her too? Maybe it would be best if she just went home. But Eva might still target her. And she’d have no guards to protect her there. So what was she to do?
Rollon.
Nope, not going there.
Except . . . Except there was clearly something he wasn’t telling her. Something he was holding back. Thor’s mother had been human. She couldn't have been the only human he slept with. So what had changed? What had made him swear off all human companions? Had he killed someone?
She had to find out.
Her heart hammered, but her mind was made up. If she was going to sit around and mope in limbo, then what good was she? Maybe Rollon just didn’t want her. Maybe he just slept with her because he needed blood and sex to heal. Either way, she wanted straightforward answers. She threw on a sweater and pulled her damp hair into a ponytail before marching down to Rollon’s office.
He was in a meeting with a handful of guards. Tindra didn’t let herself hesitate. If she hesitated she would lose her nerve and then where would she be?
"Look," she said, pushing through the guards to stand over Rollon’s desk. "You owe me answers."
Rollon glared at her coldly, but she wasn’t going to let herself be intimidated this time. He was only like this when around people he thought needed to be awed and impressed by him.
"Answers," she repeated. "Now."
"I have told you all you need to know."
"Like hell you have! You say humans are too fragile to be with? But there are dozens of vampires with human companions. We’ve slept together and I didn’t break. I didn’t even bruise, for crying out loud. You drank from me and I’m still alive. So there is more going on here than you will say. So either you tell me everything or throw me in the dungeon."
Rollon stared her down. "I understand that you are upset, Tindra. It’s not easy to be rejected―"
"If you think that is what this is about, you’d better get your head out of your . . . " She bit her tongue and counted to ten. "You know very well that this isn’t about rejection. I’ve seen something in you and I know that you want me. You just seem determined to deny yourself it. So what is it?"
"Human, you have interrupted an important meeting and . . . and my business is my own!" Rollon actually looked flustered.
Tindra couldn’t stop herself. "Not when your ‘business’ has been inside of me."
There was a snicker behind her and she whirled on the guards. Up until this point, she didn’t care if they were there or not, but she suddenly got sick of them being in the room. She pointed at the door and glared at all of them.
"Get out."
The closest one snorted. "My lady, you do not command—"
"Get out!"
The vampire stared at her for a moment before glancing at Rollon. The king must have nodded, because the guards trailed out, closing the door after them. Tindra turned back to Rollon, crossing her arms as she did so. He might have scared her once with the ice-cold stare before, but she wasn’t going to let herself be intimidated now.
To her surprise, Rollon looked drained. He sunk into his chair and shook his head. "You certainly have the dominance to be a queen."
"I don’t want to be a queen. I want answers."
He considered her for a moment longer, then his shoulders slumped. "And I suppose you won’t let it alone until you have them."
"Very true."
Rollon sighed. "Thor’s mother . . . she was human. I tried to turn her into a vampire. It . . . didn’t go well. I bit her, drained her, and fed her my blood. Only . . . only it didn’t work."
Tindra drew forward, her anger draining away. "You mean she died?"
"No. She’s stuck. Halfway vampire, halfway dead. Aging but not dying. And she has been for a hundred years. She’s getting worse, though. If she isn’t constantly fed blood . . . and she can’t even breathe on her own anymore. It’s the worst fate you can imagine."
Guilt was written in each line of his face. Tindra’s heart ached for him. To have something so terrible happen to him . . . What could she say to that? There were no words, so she wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. By his own words, he had changed others dozens of times. But it’s different when it’s someone you love.
Tears blurred her vision. Her lip trembled and she clamped down on it, trying to breathe freely. But since he told her his greatest regret . . .
"I want kids," she blurted. "I want them so bad sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe."
Rollon’s arms snaked around her waist. He pressed his face into her shoulder. "Ever since you came here you've been telling me that you don't want children."
"I lied." Her voice cracked as she continued. "I was pregnant once. I had a miscarriage. I was only a teenager, and I know now that it wasn’t really my fault. But it felt like my fault. My mom . . . She acted like it was my fault. She told me that if I had been more grown up about it . . . She was the reason I hid it in the first place. She only found out because I had to go to the hospital . . . "
"And you're afraid it might happen again?"
Tindra sniffed and shrugged. "Afraid that I might lose my baby. Afraid that I'm not good enough to be a mother. Afraid that I'll make my child's life as miserable as my mother made mine."
Rollon pulled back. He wiped a tear from her face and gently kissed her. "You would be a wonderful mother, Tindra. But I'm not going to be the father of your children. After what happened with Thor's mother . . . You have to understand, we can't last forever. Even vampires die."
"I understand," Tindra whispered. And if she tried, it was the truth.
But God, did she want to prove him wrong.
Chapter Twelve – Rollon
When the door to his office opened after a single knock, Rollon looked up hopefully. Disappointment crashed down on him when he saw that it wasn't Tindra, though he shoved it aside. He had made it clear to the human what she ought to expect from him, and he was going to stick to it. Their tragic pasts aside, he had to focus on what was best for the kingdom . . . and, yes, her as well.
"Thor," he greeted. He noted his son's heavy frown and gestured for him to sit. "What's wrong?"
"I found the traitor." He handed over a report, expression darkening further.
Rollon took the file and opened it. It only took a quick scan to tell him what he wanted to know. Slowly he closed the file again. His stomach turned and he shook his head. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. I checked for any possible alternatives. I . . . I don't know what to think. I didn't want to believe it."
The king rounded his d
esk and gripped his son's shoulder. "Thor, I know that this is difficult. But we can't ignore facts."
How could she do this? What had he done to make her turn against him? His heart felt heavy like it was made from coal rather than flesh. What was done was done, though. His first obligation was to the kingdom and protecting the people he served. He wasn't going to let her ruin all that. No matter how painful this would be.
After calling for Zander and a half-dozen guards, Rollon headed for Tindra's room. The human's eyes widened when they came in. She jumped to her feet, but Rollon didn't look at her. His gaze was locked on Ingrid. She stood slowly, and he thought he saw defeat in her eyes.
"Tindra, I need you to take Hilda out."
"What?" Hilda looked between them. Her young face was alarmed, but he couldn't stand to look at her. "What's going on?"
***
"Tindra," Rollon repeated. He waited until they were gone before letting his anger show. His nostrils flared as he loomed over Ingrid. "You betrayed us."
The female vampire twisted her hands. "My lord—"
"We found your communications with Eva. Do you deny it?"
"Communications?" Ingrid's gaze darted between him and the gathered guard. "My lord, I don't know that you're talking about. I swore her off a long time ago. I am loyal to you and—"
Thor stepped forward as Rollon's muscles tensed. The prince planted himself subtly between Rollon and Ingrid, but when he spoke there was no compassion in his tone. "I personally led an investigation into how Eva found out about Tindra and the passage under the palace. You were in charge of design when it was built, and I uncovered phone records from your account calling a cell I was able to trace to Eva's location. Always you calling her. How could you?"