The agent released her breath in a rush. “I can’t tell you all the reasons why. I suspect you might know that more than me.” Cassidy closed her eyes and pressed her lips together trying to calm the anger that was rising within her again. Alex wanted so badly to make everything all right for Cassidy that she spoke without thinking, “That’s the best John would…”
Cassidy’s eyes flew open. She looked at the agent in disbelief, “you spoke to the president?”
A heavy sigh escaped the agent now as she realized what she had revealed. “Yes.”
“How? When?”
“I called him after I got Fallon’s call.”
The teacher placed her hands over her eyes and turned away from the agent again. “This is insane. I can’t even…” Alex felt the frustration pouring off of the teacher from all of the reality pressing in on her life. Cassidy’s voice quivered. “I can’t do this.”
Alex moved her hands to the smaller woman’s shoulders again. She whispered softly as she leaned into Cassidy’s ear. “Yes, you can.”
Cassidy felt Alex’s breath on her neck and it sent a rush through her body. She felt her heart skip and struggled to maintain her breathing. “Alex…I’m so…my life is…”
“I’m not leaving you. I promise,” the agent said, her body now against Cassidy’s. Cassidy closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of Alex’s body against her.
“Alex….I’m so…”
Alex turned the smaller woman to face her. The agent lifted the smaller woman’s chin and smiled at her. “You’re so what?”
Cassidy could feel her heart beating harder. She felt Alex’s thumb caress her cheek. So much was happening all at once. She didn’t know how to process it. What she felt in this moment, it was something she had never experienced. In the mist of all this fear, anger and resentment; here, Alex looking at her; she felt so safe and so afraid at the same time. Alex’s eyes smiled at the green ones before her as Cassidy finally gave her answer, “afraid…I’m afraid…”
The agent tucked the woman’s long blonde hair behind her ear, never averting her gaze. “What are you afraid of, Cassidy?”
Cassidy felt her heart quicken again. She fought to swallow. Her mouth had gone dry and her head was suddenly spinning. As she tried to coax an answer her voice cracked and hovered barely above silent thought. She dropped her eyes to the ground, “you.”
Alex had expected that answer and she knew exactly how to resolve the question. She gently propelled Cassidy’s face upward and leaned in slowly, stopping just before their lips would meet. “I know,” she said as she finished her progression, her lips softly touching the smaller woman’s. The kiss was tender and loving. The agent gently coaxed Cassidy’s lips to part and felt her entire body ache from the connection as her tongue softly brushed against the smaller woman’s. It was such a simple kiss, and yet there was a passion surging in her that she could not describe.
Cassidy felt the agent begin to pull back. She was breathless. The feel of Alex against her, the way she tasted, the warmth of her kiss, the sound of her own heart pounding in her chest, Alex’s hand lovingly caressing her cheek, all at once, overwhelmed her senses. It was as if in one simple kiss Alex had encompassed her entire being, her very soul. Alex looked at the woman before her. Cassidy was still standing with her eyes closed and the agent knew there was a part of the woman terrified to look at her now. She touched Cassidy’s cheek again. Cassidy sighed and tugged on her bottom lip with her teeth, “Alex, I…”
“Don’t say anything,” Alex reassured her. The agent leaned over and placed several small kisses on the woman’s forehead as Cassidy’s arms wrapped around her. “You don’t need to say anything…I already know.” Somehow Cassidy knew that was true. She thought for just a second that she should run from this, but the sound of Alex’s heart in her ear as she placed her head against the agent’s chest erased all of those ideas immediately. She could scarcely comprehend what she longed to say. Silently, the woman thought, as the agent held her close, ‘I think I’m falling in love with you, Alex.’
Alex broke the embrace when the sound of her cell phone startled Cassidy. She gave the petite blonde a smile and placed the palm of her hand on the woman’s cheek as she slowly brought the phone to her ear. The last thing she wanted was to leave Cassidy feeling any more uncertain. “Toles,” she identified herself and listened for the response. “Yeah,” she said quietly, not wanting to remove herself from the woman before her. Cassidy finally gave just the hint of a smile and Alex removed her hand to engage her partner on the phone.
“You okay?” Agent Fallon asked sensing that his partner was not paying attention. The pause lingered for another moment.
“Yeah…what’s up?” Alex answered turning to see Cassidy gripping the railing again.
“Tate called…. I guess you get to stay there,” he said.
“Yeah… I heard.”
“Well… I guess I will see you tomorrow then,” Fallon said.
“Are you coming with the congressman to pick up Dylan?”
“Just me, I’m afraid… apparently the congressman is going to be at the White House, so I get the honors.”
Alex kept a watchful eye on the blonde woman whose grip had loosened on the deck railing, but whom she knew was still in the throes of many questions. “Do you know when?” Alex asked softly.
“Geez…what is with you?” It was not customary at all for his partner to be so reserved in her dialogue.
“Nothing...don’t worry about it… do you know what time?” Alex asked again.
“Yeah… Tate said it’s a 7:30 am flight direct to JFK. I should be there around 10:00 if all goes well.”
The agent rubbed her temple knowing that this would be the next piece of news that she would have to deliver to the woman she was falling in love with. And, she knew that Cassidy would not be happy about Dylan’s early departure and his absence for a full week. “All right,” she said with more than a hint of strain in her voice.
Brian Fallon listened carefully to the drop in his friend’s tone. “Alex,” he said, “is everything all right there…really?”
Alex took a deep breath. Everything was better than all right yet it was far from settled. “Yeah.”
“Ooookayyy…I’ll see you tomorrow then…by the way I emailed you those files – you know on the media folks…”
“Hey…Fallon...”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.” Alex hung up the phone quietly and stood still for a moment.
“So?” Cassidy said continuing to face the yard.
“Fallon’s picking up Dylan tomorrow morning.”
The blonde woman let out a sarcastic chuckle. “Of course he is… Jesus, he can’t even pick up his own son.”
Alex knew the woman was angry by both her choice of words and the brashness in her voice. “Hey,” she began, gently putting her hand on Cassidy’s shoulder.
Cassidy interrupted her with her own thought. “He just… I just don’t understand.”
Alex understood. Her father had been the same way; away much of the time and when he was around he had very definite ideas about how his children should behave and who they should be. “Listen,” the agent stroked Cassidy’s hair lightly. “Why don’t you call your mom? I have some things I have to look at, but maybe we can all just get out of here for a while this afternoon. You know? Go grab a pizza or something.”
Gradually Cassidy began to turn to face the agent. Alex was looking at her intently with such an expression of love and concern it somehow seemed to penetrate her anger and coax a smile. “How do you do that?”
“What?” Alex asked.
Cassidy shook her head. “Make me feel better when I wanted to punch something two seconds ago?”
“Go call Rose.” She was tempted to kiss the woman again. Cassidy was looking at her in a way that no one ever had. It wasn’t something the agent could put words to. It just felt natural. It felt familiar somehow and Alex reveled in the feeling, but she di
dn’t want to push. Cassidy grasped Alex’s hand lightly wondering how this woman could affect her so deeply. She gave the agent a sweet smile as if she wanted to say something but couldn’t. Slowly she let go of the agent’s hand and headed into the house.
Alex sat at the dining room table with her computer combing through profiles of reporters and photographers methodically and thoroughly. There were nearly a hundred for her to review and in the last 2 hours she had barely managed to make a cursory analysis of them. She was convinced somehow this is where she could find the answer, but finding it would mean painstaking analysis until something jumped out at her and so far nothing had. She was frustrated and worried about Cassidy’s safety. The more time she spent with Cassidy O’Brien the greater her need to protect the teacher became. She heard Cassidy yell to Dylan to “get a move on” upstairs and put her forehead in her hands.
Cassidy reached the corner of the stairs and saw Alex sitting with her face in her hands. She could feel the tension rising from the agent and she knew what its cause was. In their few short days together Cassidy had learned a few things about the agent. She loved her coffee and she loved her Diet Coke with crushed ice. She wouldn’t have wanted to admit it to the agent, but the teacher had closely observed nearly everything about Alex Toles. She already knew how she held the steering wheel, how she pulled her hair back into a pony tail with only her right hand, the way she pinched the bridge of her nose when she was frustrated and the way she rubbed her temple when she was worried. She filled a glass ½ way with crushed ice, cracked open a can of Diet Coke and headed back to the dining room. Alex was rubbing her temple and Cassidy bit her bottom lip to quell the smile that had begun to take shape. “Hey,” she said walking toward the table and placing the glass next to the agent.
Alex let go of her temple and looked back at the small woman standing slightly over her shoulder now. “Thanks,” she said squinting as if in a bit of pain. Her constant focus on the computer screen had brought on a headache.
Cassidy’s right eye closed slightly and her lip curled as it always did when she grew concerned. “I think it’s time for a break,” she said putting her hand lovingly on the agent’s shoulder.
“I have to get through as many of these as I can.” Alex closed her eyes and rubbed them gently.
“Well, that will be a little hard if you can’t SEE them,” Cassidy said picking up the glass and placing it in the agent’s hand.
The agent shook her head as a smile unexpectedly swept over her. “Mmmm…I guess so. “The sound of the front door opening did not seem to startle either woman; the teacher standing now next to the agent’s chair and the agent looking up at her, both with a crooked smile.
Rose McCollum reached the doorway and looked curiously at the two women. “Aheemmm,” she cleared her throat with some theatrics.
“Hey, Mom,” Cassidy turned to her mother still smiling as Alex sipped on the drink and closed her computer.
“So…” Rose started. “What is all this I hear about Washington and….pizza?” Cassidy looked down at the agent for a brief second as if to insure she was complying with the teacher’s instructions. Seeing that the agent had in fact taken her advice, she gently touched Alex’s shoulder and led her mother into the kitchen.
“Is Alex okay?” Rose asked with genuine concern.
Cassidy looked out over the counter and down the hallway toward the agent’s location. Rose could tell that her daughter was worried. What she wasn’t sure about was who the worry was for, herself and Dylan or the FBI agent. Cassidy sighed and shook her head turning back to her mother. “Yeah, she’s been at that computer for hours. I think she has a headache. She won’t stop, though,” she paused and looked down the hallway again and sighed. “I’ll bet she opened it back up as soon as I left.”
The woman’s mother studied her carefully. There was something in Cassidy’s voice. “You think she’s worried? I mean…do you think she’s worried about Dylan going to D.C.?”
Cassidy shook her head and made her way to the refrigerator to get them each a soda. “No….no….she’s worried about me,” Cassidy said popping open the cans and placing one on the counter in front of her mother.
“Why? Did something happen?”
Cassidy took a sip of her soda and rubbed her chin. “A picture…just a picture.”
“Of what?” Rose asked as her volume increased slightly.
“Mom…it’s all right. Honestly, I am more annoyed at Chris right now than I am worried about some stupid picture.” That was only partly the truth. She was extremely angry with her ex-husband but she was equally troubled by the picture that Alex had found taped to the front door the night before. In a few days her life had been turned upside down and her emotions followed suit. She was trying to carry on the conversation with her mother, but she was preoccupied thinking about the agent down the hallway. Alex’s demeanor told her everything she needed to know. The agent was determined to find out what was going on. And, Cassidy did not need any more time with Agent Toles to know that meant Alex was going to be relentless in her pursuit of this person; whoever it turned out to be. She heard her mother talking to her but it felt as though the words were traveling through a tunnel. Her mind was still trying to process everything and the reality that she seemed to know Alex far better than three days would warrant, not to mention the fact that she had an increasing desire to be closer to the woman.
“Cassie?”
“What?” Cassidy said snapping out of her momentary haze.
“Did you sleep last night?”
“Some, not a lot, no.”
“I can tell,” Rose said chalking up her daughter’s absent mindedness to fatigue.
Alex felt a gentle tug on her shirt. She turned slightly to bring the small face into focus. “Hey there, Speed Racer.”
“I don’t want to go to Daddy’s,” he said plainly.
Alex shut the computer again and pulled him onto her knee. “Why not?”
He shrugged. “I don’t like it there.”
Cassidy looked down the hall again. “Dylan must still be playing upstairs,” she said to her mother.
“Do you want me to go get him?”
“No, I’ll go…but can you do me a favor? Call George’s and see if they have seats in one of the cars for lunch.” Cassidy had decided that lunch at one of Dylan’s favorite places was in order and she suspected that Alex would enjoy it as well. She made her way down the hallway and stopped just short of the stairs at the sound of familiar voices.
“Dylan, I’m sure your dad just misses you.”
“No he doesn’t,” Dylan said plainly. “He’s never even home. Cheryl will be there.”
“Cheryl?”
“Yeah…and she’s no fun. She hates Kung Fu Panda and she thinks superheroes are stupid,” the boy explained. Cassidy listened from the bottom of the stairs, her irritation with her ex-husband growing as she listened to Dylan confide in the agent what he had never confided in his mother.
“I see,” Alex said.
“She’s not like you,” he continued. “I want to stay here with Mom and you.”
The agent tried not to smile. She was growing very fond of the young man who had now taken up residence in her lap. “Well, let me ask you something.” He looked up at her inquisitively as she continued. “What does Cheryl, that’s her name right?” He nodded. “What DOES Cheryl like?”
He shrugged his shoulders all the way up to his ears. “I dunno!” He confessed.
“Hmmmm…. Well…maybe you could ask her what she likes to do and try that,” Alex smiled.
“It’ll probably be picking flowers or some girlie thing,” he said crinkling his nose with displeasure. Rose was headed toward Cassidy and began to open her mouth when Cassidy stopped her. The teacher silently put her finger to her lips in a sign to hush and directed her mother to listen to the dining room conversation.
“So… Cheryl’s kinda’ girlie, huh?”
“Yeah… and I’m not playing with B
arbie dolls.”
Alex tried to suppress her mounting amusement, knowing that Dylan was confiding in her. She was accustomed to these sort of conversations with her nephew when they spoke over the phone about Alex’s mother. “Well, maybe if you ask her you two can find something you both like.”
“Like picking flowers?” He said with a degree of young sarcasm.
Alex shook her head, “like maybe, pizza…or games…or maybe drawing, something like that.”
He huffed and looked at her with a serious face. “Okay… but can’t I just stay here with you and Mom?”
“You know what, Speed Racer, I have a feeling that we will see each other soon, and then you can tell me and your mom all about what you did at your dad’s. Think about it like an adventure. Maybe you could pretend you are Batman… you know… on a mission and when you come home it’ll be like landing in the Batcave.”
“Okay, but The Batcave is way cooler,” he said.
Cassidy scurried her mother back down the hallway and the two began to laugh when they entered the kitchen. It was only a few seconds before Dylan came strolling in with Alex following close behind. Alex was still sipping the soda Cassidy had poured her. “Feeling up to pizza at George’s?” Cassidy asked the group.
“Yep!” Dylan answered. “Alex…George’s has cars you can eat INSIDE!” Alex nodded her approval with wide eyes, trying not to choke on the ice in her mouth.
“Yes, and they have a CAR for us in half an hour, so we’d better get moving,” Rose said. “Come on Dylan, let’s get your jacket.” He followed his grandmother dutifully down the hall.
Cassidy stepped squarely in front of the agent and looked up into her eyes as she was bringing her glass to her lips a final time. “Batcave, huh?” Alex nearly choked on the ice at the realization that Cassidy had overheard her conversation with the boy and soda dribbled over her lip. Cassidy just looked at the agent and wiped the soda away with her thumb. She leaned up and planted a light peck on the agent’s lips, smiling at Alex’s obvious shock. “Get your jacket Alfred. We wouldn’t want to keep the Dark Knight waiting,” she said as she walked away leaving the agent speechless.
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