by E. C. Hibbs
“Me, neither,” Elin admitted. “This feels like the longest winter ever.”
Tuomas glanced at the sky through the smoke hole. As always, night stared back at him, the stars pinpricks against the darkness.
But after today, the Sun Spirit would start to spin closer. She would cast her warmth and light upon the earth once more; the snow would melt into the ground and the days would be never-ending.
His heart skipped a beat. The Sun Spirit… his mother.
He remembered that fever dream back in Einfjall, of himself with fox ears like Lumi. But they were red, not white.
Red Fox One…
Desperate for distraction, he turned his attention back to his fingers and flexed them again.
“Could you help me put some fresh bandages on these, please?”
Elin peered at his hands.
“I actually think you’ll be fine without them now. Let the air get to them. Just make sure you wear your mittens when you go outside.”
Tuomas smiled with relief. He understood the importance of the bandages, but they had been starting to annoy him.
Elin heated some more water and set the pot down in front of him. Tuomas gently eased his hands under the surface. It was hot, just short of the boil, but didn’t burn him. The heat didn’t even register. He wondered if the frostbite had stripped his ability to feel it.
“I take it there’ll be a ceremony for midwinter?” he said, not expecting Elin to reply. The answer was obvious. Ceremonies to mark the solstices and equinoxes were as normal as sleeping.
But this one felt strange, to not be celebrating it in Akerfjorden. To think that it had been almost two whole months since he had last set foot in his own village.
“We should go along,” Elin suggested, taking another sip of her tea. “It would be rude not to, after they’ve made us so welcome.”
Tuomas nodded, running one finger thoughtfully around the rim of the pot.
“Elin, did you see where Lumi went last night?”
“No. Was that fox really her?”
“Yes. I went into a trance with Enska, and I managed to… You’re going to think I’m mad.”
Elin cocked an eyebrow. “Compared to the things I’ve seen since I met you?”
She had a point.
He paused, unsure about whether to tell her about what Kari had revealed to him on the mountain. He was struggling to take it all in himself. In the end, though, he decided it could wait. That revelation wasn’t as important as saving Lumi.
“Alright,” he said. “I managed to speak to the Great Bear Spirit. It told me that Lumi needs to be put back in the sky at the same place I pulled her out of it. On the Mustafjord.”
Elin didn’t blink.
“You saw the Great Bear Spirit?”
Tuomas nodded. “It was just as amazing as you’d imagine.”
“I don’t know if I can even imagine it,” she admitted. “So, we’re going to Akerfjorden now?”
“You don’t have to,” he insisted. “You can go home. I can get back there fine by myself.”
“Don’t be stupid. You know I’m coming. I’ve been away from Mother and Father for a whole month in the past. This is nothing.”
She drained her cup and set it by the hearth before kicking her legs free of the sleeping sack.
“We’ll go tomorrow morning. For today, let’s just try and relax; celebrate midwinter. From this moment, the Sun Spirit will be on her way back to us.”
Tuomas nodded in agreement. Lumi was a fox now; the Bear had transformed her so she would be less vulnerable. He supposed it was because in human form, the human emotions were much closer to her; so close, they could hurt. As the fox, she could conserve her energy. A few more hours’ rest wouldn’t make her any worse than she already was.
“Good idea,” he said. “Come on. Let’s go and be merry.”
He wiped his hands on a square of wool and Elin stacked the logs to fall safely on the fire. Then the two of them pulled on their outdoor layers and stepped into the night.
The villagers welcomed them heartily. The whole of Poro was lit by dozens of torches, making the trodden snow between the huts sparkle, as though it was dusted with tiny diamonds. Everyone was busy: gathering wood for a large fire, pooling together tea and spices from the last summer trades, and picking cuts of meat off the racks.
Tuomas and Elin helped where they could, making conversation and soaking up the relaxed atmosphere. It was such a relief after all the hardship and travelling to finally be able to unwind.
When everything was ready, the fire was lit, its yellow tongues flickering high and sending sparks flying towards the stars. Everybody joined hands and danced around it, chanting and laughing. The heat prickled Tuomas’s face, but he didn’t step away. It was wonderful after spending so much time travelling through the cold.
After the dance, they all sat down to a banquet of reindeer and ptarmigan meat, salmon cakes and roasted char. Everyone tucked in heartedly, even splitting the bones to get at the marrow inside. This was the one day in the Long Dark when they could afford to be frivolous. There was enough food in the storehouses to last until the spring thaw, and now was the time to feast.
Tuomas couldn’t help but remember the ceremony on the Mustafjord, when they had bid farewell to the Sun Spirit. That seemed so long ago now. Mihka had been his typical foolish self, Lumi had been dancing in the sky.
And Paavo had been alive.
Tuomas held a hand to his mouth and choked back a sob. The char he’d been eating suddenly tasted as horrid as ashes. Paavo would have done it so much nicer.
Would have, once.
Elin noticed his expression and put a hand on his shoulder.
“Are you alright?”
Tuomas nodded woodenly. “I’ll be fine.”
Before she could question him further, silence fell across the crowd and Enska came forward. He was wearing his white reindeer hat and had tied an impressive pair of antlers over it, cutting an amazing silhouette against the flames. As he walked, a wind blew past him and lifted the aroma of heady herbs from his clothes. He had daubed the ceremonial ash across his face, turning his pale skin grey.
Even though he knew he could trust Enska, the sight turned Tuomas’s stomach. He looked so much like Kari.
He shuffled in discomfort. So much for relaxing and enjoying the evening.
Enska held his drum close to the fire and walked around the pit to form the protective circle. Then he began beating and chanting, asking the Spirits for protection and favour to see them through the rest of the winter. He called to the Master Spirits of all reindeer, fish, ptarmigan and hare, so their children could feed the people until summer. Then he sang to the ancestors, the Great Bear, the Earth Spirits, the Moon, the Sun, and the Spirit of Death… but not the Spirit of the Lights.
Tuomas averted his eyes. He knew why Enska was omitting her. There was no sense in addressing her if she wasn’t there. But it was a little unnerving to not hear of her in this most sacred part of the midwinter ceremony. Tuomas was surprised concerned men and women hadn’t chased after Lumi, to check their ancestors were safe.
They were probably too scared of her. He only had to remember his own reaction when he first met her – he didn’t blame them.
The sob rose again in his throat and tightened like a noose. He had to leave.
He glanced around, making sure everyone was preoccupied by Enska, then slipped away silently. Not even Elin noticed he was gone.
He crept between the huts until he was out of sight. When he reached the one he and Elin were staying in, he walked over to his sleigh, still covered by tarp, the reindeer lying beside it. He stroked the bull’s nose affectionately, ran his gloved fingers over the mark he had cut into its ear. Then he perched on the rim of the sleigh, looking out towards the snow-capped forest.
It wouldn’t be long before he was home. Just over there to the south lay the river which ran into the Mustafjord: a dark black ribbon snaking through the pal
e snow. But would it really feel like home, after everything he had seen and done? After his last blood relative was dead, and his newfound sister returned to the sky? After what he had felt in the World Above?
He grasped the pouch on his belt and carefully removed the lock of Mihka’s hair. It was so white, it almost blended in with the snow. Then he let the fox figure fall out too and held it in his other palm.
“What’s that?”
Tuomas clamped his fingers over the hair in fright. Elin appeared at the edge of his vision.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have crept up on you like that,” she said. “Can I sit with you?”
In reply, Tuomas shuffled over to give her room. She rested beside him and pulled her hat further down over her ears.
Tuomas quickly slipped the fox carving back into the pouch, but kept hold of the hair. It was so fine, he didn’t want to risk any strands escaping by stuffing it away.
“You haven’t seemed yourself since you went to see Enska,” Elin said. “Is something wrong?”
Tuomas didn’t look at her.
“It’s just hit me, how mad this all turned out to be. All I wanted was to save my friend and become a mage.”
Elin looked between him and his hand, still closed.
“Is that his hair?”
Tuomas peeled back his fingers so she could see it.
“It’s black, really. Like yours. But Lumi attacked him before I summoned her into human form. He insulted her Lights.”
Elin couldn’t hold back a snort. “Well, she isn’t the type to ignore insults.”
“No Spirit is,” said Tuomas. “It’s part of their pride.”
“Sounds like someone else I know,” said Elin pointedly.
Tuomas frowned at her. He had never mentioned who he was in front of her – how had she guessed?
But then he realised she didn’t know. It was simply a comment. Yet, deep down, he supposed she was right. Even before finding out he was the Son of the Sun, it had always been so easy for him to get angry. It was that very anger which had ripped Lumi from the World Above: the raw energy of his otherworldly taika.
Kari flashed in his mind, the image of a bloodied heart in his hands.
He shuddered.
The emotion finally overcame him.
A sob burst out of his mouth and he wept like a child, Elin put an arm around his shoulders before he could block her.
He didn’t bother fighting. He let the tears come, allowed them to wrack his body like a tree in a gale. Each sob burned the wound on his chest. The water froze on his cheeks, and his lashes iced over, but he didn’t care. It needed to come out.
He didn’t know how long he cried for. When he managed to get himself under control, Elin’s arm was still there. She hadn’t left him.
“Do you need anything?” she asked gently.
Tuomas shook his head. He swallowed hard, trying to loosen his throat.
“What’s the matter? You can tell me.”
He screwed his eyes shut.
“Kari was wearing my brother’s skin, when I found him in the World Below,” he choked out. “That’s how he tricked me into freeing him.”
Elin looked at him in alarm. “Wearing his skin?”
Tuomas clenched his hands into fists, not caring that it made his frostbite hurt.
“He told me Lilja killed Paavo, and took his skin. I should have known back then.”
“How could you have known anything?” Elin countered. “You hardly knew a thing yourself.”
“I was trusting and stupid,” Tuomas hissed. “We ran into her at a frozen river and she took us to her campsite. I fell asleep on the way so I don’t know which direction we travelled in. She said she was heading towards Akerfjorden to find me, to protect me. More likely she was there straight after I left, killing Paavo, and then intercepted me on purpose, to make it look as though she was coming from the other way!”
Elin shook her head. “That sounds really farfetched.”
“Would you put it past her?”
“Tuomas, I never saw this side of Lilja. The last time I laid eyes on her before you drove her off was when you went to the Northern Edge.”
“So, you don’t believe me?”
“I never said that! I only mean I can’t judge what she did or didn’t do, because I wasn’t there.”
Tuomas turned away, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.
“I’m sorry,” he breathed. “I’m just so confused, and… Elin, I miss Paavo so much! I miss Mihka too, but Paavo’s dead!”
He bit his lip so he wouldn’t cry again.
“He wasn’t just my brother. He raised me. He was my mother and father too; the only family I had. And now he’s gone!”
He kicked out at the snow, but as soon as he did, all the energy left him. He buried his face in his hands.
Elin offered a small smile. She shuffled nearer to him, her arm still around his shoulder.
Tuomas looked at her. She’d never sat this close before.
Elin noticed his stiffness and hurriedly let go, wiping her hands on her thighs as though nothing had happened.
He patted her arm to get her attention.
“Thank you for coming here with me,” he said. “And for coming to the mountain. You saved me.”
“It wasn’t just me.”
“You killed the demon.”
Elin shrugged, but it wasn’t very convincing. “I got lucky.”
“You’re too good for that to have just been lucky,” Tuomas said.
A thought crossed his mind. She had risked her life to rescue him, volunteered without hesitation to accompany him to Poro. And all because of what? She didn’t know anything about who he really was.
He chewed his lip for a moment, then gave in. He would tell her. After everything that had happened, she deserved to know.
“Listen, Elin…”
“Look, don’t worry about anything,” she said quickly. “I’ll be here to help you until you and Lumi are safe.”
She cleared her throat and stood up.
“I’m going to head back,” she announced. “Are you coming?”
Tuomas kept his eyes on her. “In a moment.”
She nodded, and threw him one last sheepish smile before disappearing. He watched her go, wondering if the redness in her cheeks was from the cold, or something else.
Once she had disappeared from view, he let out an explosive exhale and kicked at the snow again. Why couldn’t he have just hugged her back? Then he could have avoided all the awkwardness and still have her sitting here with him.
Stupid idiot, he cursed inwardly.
Then he heard bells – broken, jingling. The sound of running reindeer.
He stared out into the forest. Sure enough, barely visible against the trees, was the shape of an approaching sleigh, pulled by two animals. It grew larger; the bells sounded louder. It drew close to the village, and as it halted, Tuomas saw the rider.
His breath caught in a strangled gasp.
It was Lilja.
Chapter Twenty-Five
The sleigh slid to a halt and Lilja tumbled out, landing face-first in the snow.
Tuomas’s hand went to his knife, but he didn’t draw it.
“Don’t come any closer,” he warned.
“Where’s Enska?” Lilja demanded. Her voice sounded even more cracked and broken than before.
She grabbed at the sleigh and used it to haul herself upright. She staggered forward, then stopped when she recognised him.
“What are you doing here? No… it doesn’t matter. Just run,” she said. “Keep away from me, boy.”
Tuomas frowned. She was telling him to keep away?
He decided not to take any chances and shouted over his shoulder.
“Enska! Elin! Come here!”
He kept his eyes on Lilja until he heard footsteps behind him. A few of the villagers arrived, along with Elin. Her bow was on her shoulder – Tuomas supposed she must have fet
ched it from the hut when she heard him yelling.
When Elin saw Lilja, she pulled an arrow out of her quiver and drew it back on the bow, ready to shoot.
“Put that down,” Lilja snapped.
In response, Elin narrowed her eyes. She didn’t move.
The villagers began muttering to each other.
“Is that Lilja?”
“What’s wrong with her?
“Where’s Kari?”
“Let me through!”
Everyone parted at that last voice. Enska ran forward, his drum still in his hand. His eyes were a little glazed from being in trance, but they widened in alarm when he saw who had come.
A myriad of expressions chased each other across his face. Tuomas could tell he wanted to run to her and embrace her like the daughter she was.
Enska wiped the ash off his skin and removed the antler headdress. He only took a single step towards her.
Lilja looked at him beseechingly, one hand on her throat. She was horribly pale, her eyes sunken, her hair wan and dry at the ends. It was as though she had died and clawed her way back to life.
“Please, I need your help,” she begged. “You wouldn’t turn me away, would you?”
Enska hesitated.
“No,” he said slowly. “But neither will I welcome you with open arms. If you’ve come seeking shelter, then don’t think we’ll let you wander about.”
“Father –” Lilja protested.
“No,” Enska said again, his voice close to breaking. “I know what you’ve done.”
Lilja’s gaze shifted to Tuomas.
“What have you told him?”
“The truth,” Tuomas said coldly.
“What truth?” she growled. “I told you, I had nothing to do with it.”
“Lying to me again?” Tuomas set his teeth. “What’s wrong with your throat? Why don’t you tell everyone the truth of that?”
Lilja trembled.
“Listen, I know what this looks like. But I swear, I’m not here for you. That’s what Kari wants, but I won’t listen.”
Tuomas faltered. He threw a worried glance at Enska, then at back to Lilja.
“What are you talking about? Kari’s alive?”
Lilja nodded.
“Barely. After you unceremoniously threw me out, I went up to the mountain, looking for clues. I found him there, I thought he was dead. And monster or not, he is my brother.”