by E. C. Hibbs
Tuomas nodded. He knew there would be nothing of her wicked brother left now. He had felt the Bear drag him back to his prison in the World Below. There would be no escape, not when the greatest Spirit of all had taken him.
Then he remembered Lumi.
He shoved past Henrik and ran to the fireside, wedging his drum under his arm in mid-stride.
She was still lying there, saturated with water. Tuomas wasn’t sure whether it was from the heat or something else. Her fur, once a flawless white, was blurred at the tips and growing more transparent by the moment.
He slipped his arms underneath her and held her to his chest. She was lighter than a feather. He could see his hands through her body.
She was fading away.
He hurried to the shore. When he stepped onto the Mustafjord, his shoes sank through the snow and slipped on the ice beneath, but he managed to stay upright. He didn’t stop running until he reached the spot where Kari had disappeared, then he crashed to his knees.
“Why did you do that?” he snapped, choking on tears. “You’re so stupid!”
Lumi opened her eyes and growled at the insult.
He truly began crying then. Even though she was barely hanging on, she still couldn’t hold back her pride. Nothing would take that away from her.
He buried his face in her wet fur, sobbing freely, and she curled her tail around his neck.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
He laid her down on her side and drew the protective circle around the two of them. He knelt in the snow a few feet from her, balanced the drum on his lap. He held the hammer just above the skin, his hand shaking.
Could he do this? Was he strong enough?
He knew he was.
He hit the drum.
That single strike snapped him into action. He hit it again, finding a beat, one deeper than he had ever made before. He let himself be swept up in it, and a chant formed in his throat, bursting free with flawless execution.
It was the complete opposite of how he had felt when he’d summoned her. Back then, he’d been furious and vengeful… but now, there was only sorrow.
As his souls loosened and his power spread like a rushing summer river, he heard the words of the Great Bear Spirit echoing in his memory.
What is more important? Your happiness, or that of all the others around you?
He felt her fragile body coming apart; the cold fire of the Lights twisting inside her. He steeled himself, harnessing all the taika he could, and struck the drum one more time.
Lumi rose into the air, glowing from the inside out, and a river of green aurora poured from her body. It flowed across the fjord, surrounding him; close, but not quite touching. Then the Lights shot up into the sky, forcing the snow clouds away to reveal an inky sky laced with stars. There were greens, reds, purples, other colours which he couldn’t think to name… waving like fabric in water, expanding until they reached the horizon.
They started dancing.
As he looked, Tuomas swore he could see shadowy figures just out of focus within the glowing curtain. He sensed them: the souls of all who had gone before, finally able to look down again on the living.
She was back.
The drum slipped from his grasp. From one of the green tendrils, something fell, like a shooting star against the night.
After a moment so long it felt like forever, a hand appeared on Tuomas’s shoulder. He looked around to see Elin smiling at him. She helped him to his feet and pointed with her bow.
Tuomas looked towards the shore. While he had been out here on the fjord, the entire village had gathered on the bank. And now the sound reached him: clapping and cheering. They had seen what he’d done, witnessed the aurora erupt out of Lumi’s failing body.
Elin shouldered her bow, then picked up the drum and handed it back to him. It felt heavier than before, as though the weight in his heart had somehow fused itself with the curved birch frame.
They walked off the ice. As they drew closer, the crowd parted, revealing Sisu. There was a figure cradled in his arms, wrapped up like a babe. The only distinguishing feature was a shock of white hair.
Mihka turned his eyes on Tuomas. They were a little misted and unfocused, but they were open.
“You’re awake!” Tuomas smiled.
Mihka cocked an eyebrow. “Miss me?”
“You have no idea, idiot.”
Tuomas sighed in relief. That hadn’t been a star which had fallen from the World Above. Just as he had fulfilled his promise, Lumi had also made good on hers, and sent back Mihka’s life-soul.
Clarity struck him; too perfect to be any mistake, and he looked down at the drum.
He had done it. The hardship was passed, things were set right, and he had come through it all. He had passed his test.
Overhead, the Lights blazed with newfound fire, as though they had never been gone at all.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Tuomas stared blankly at the smoke hole. Across the dying embers of the hearth, Paavo was asleep on his back, snoring softly as he did every night. Elin was lying on his other side. As usual, her hair was an unkempt black mess, spilling across her face like a spider web.
But for Tuomas, restlessness and unease gnawed at his insides. He couldn’t even be bothered reaching over to grab another log for the fire. Instead, he snuggled deeper into his sleeping sack and rolled over in an attempt to get more comfortable.
How could either of them sleep so soundly? He had lost count of the amount of times he’d woken, each time feeling more drained than the last.
He pulled open his tunic and looked at his chest. The wound had stopped bleeding, and a fresh bandage and poultice had been applied by Henrik. It would leave a nasty scar. But he was lucky. A scar and two shorter fingers were nothing. At least he was still alive.
He had barely set foot on the banks when the celebrations began. After Enska and Henrik confirmed he was alright, he had been practically lifted off his feet and taken to the centre of the village. A chorus of cheers and applause quickly turned to joyous laughter. He was sure he’d danced with every single person in Akerfjorden – even Lilja had been thrown into it at one point. She had avoided his eyes, and before he could get a chance to speak to her, Maiken appeared and took her place.
Even though it had only been that evening, it was already beginning to blur. His mind hadn’t really been there, among his people. It had still been out on the Mustafjord, feeling Kari’s knife on his throat, and Lumi’s soaking fur against his cheek…
He heaved a sigh. There was no point trying to sleep. He needed to get some air.
He crawled out of his sack; pulled his shoes and coat on in silence. Then he slipped outside into the frozen night.
The Lights were still drifting in the sky. Tuomas looked at them as he walked between the huts. Lumi was making the most of her returned freedom.
What must it be like for her up there, back in her realm, in that place where form and time had no meaning?
Before long, he reached a conical tent, which stood out starkly from the turf shelters around it. Enska had set it up earlier in the day for himself, and now he and Lilja were inside.
Tuomas crept past it and rested his back against the turfed wall of Henrik’s hut. A small smile crossed his lips – the last time he’d been here was when he had sneaked over to eavesdrop.
He didn’t linger outside, and eased the door open a crack. The musty smell hit his senses like a wall. Once, he might have wrinkled his nose at it, but now, it was oddly comforting. It was the smell of all those lessons he should have listened to, of all the memories of Henrik weaving illusions with his drum – the same drum Tuomas now called his own.
Henrik was asleep in his usual place, and in the corner was Mihka, eyes closed softly. If Tuomas hadn’t known better, he might have thought nothing had changed. He had to remind himself that he’d seen those eyes open just a few hours earlier.
He sneaked over and slid down the wall until he was sitting.
Mihka stirred. Tuomas stayed still, hoping he would settle. But Mihka yawned and looked at him, squinting in the low light.
“Who’s that?” he mumbled.
“Me,” Tuomas replied. “Go back to sleep.”
“I’ve had enough sleep,” Mihka said. His voice was cracked from so long without use. It reminded Tuomas of Lilja.
Mihka propped himself up on his elbow and looked straight at Tuomas. He still wasn’t completely lucid, but managed to focus well enough.
“I heard them talking,” he said. “I’ve been here for two months?”
Tuomas nodded. “Do you remember what happened?”
“Yes. The Spirit of the Lights didn’t like what I had to say.”
“That’s one way to put it.”
“It was so strange. When I was up there… I was stuck in the Lights, with all the dead people. She was so angry with me. I didn’t think she’d let me come back. And then she just… disappeared. I couldn’t see anything else.”
Tuomas frowned. “You remember what it was like up there?”
“It was like being awake, but not really; like my body had turned to water,” said Mihka. “But then the Spirit vanished, and it all went black. All the souls were around me, wondering what had happened.”
Tuomas bit his lip guiltily. “That was my fault.”
Mihka raised his eyebrows.
“It sounds like you got in even more trouble than I did.”
“I don’t think anyone could get in more trouble than you.”
“Well, I’ve got to have some fun, haven’t I?”
The two of them smiled, but quietened when Henrik tossed in his sack. Tuomas silently urged Mihka to go back to sleep, but his friend reached over and clasped his wrist.
“You went out there for me, didn’t you?” he whispered. “I saw you leaving in a sleigh… that happened before the Spirit left us. You went to find some mages.”
Tuomas nodded. “I found them. They weren’t what I was expecting.”
“Neither was she,” Mihka admitted. “The Spirit. She was so mad at first. But then she let me come home.”
“She promised me she would,” said Tuomas.
Mihka smiled, his eyes becoming heavy.
“Thank you. I don’t know what you did while she was gone, but she was different when she came back.”
He slumped down into his sleeping sack.
“Don’t be expecting me to be a pushover now though, just because I’ve got hair like Henrik’s.”
Tuomas snorted a laugh, watching as sleep dragged Mihka back under. Then its hooks spread to him too, and he dived deep, grateful to not surface.
He woke slowly, finally feeling rested. He was still sitting against the wall, but a heavy blanket was wrapped around him. He supposed Henrik had found him there and tried to make him more comfortable.
Stray reindeer hairs were stuck to it, and they tickled his nose as he breathed. He pushed the blanket away and stretched his arms above his head. Mihka was still asleep next to him, but Henrik’s sack was empty.
He looked through the smoke hole. The Lights were gone. Now the snow clouds were back, and a handful of small flakes were drifting down into the hut.
He eased himself to his feet and walked outside. The torches had been lit, and fresh prints told him that some people were already up. He gathered from the direction of most of them that the villagers had gone to the herd. Everyone else was still at home; he could smell the aromas of stews on the crisp air.
He knew he should eat something – he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a proper meal. But his hunger had receded to a dull ache in the pit of his stomach, easily ignored. So instead, he scooped up some snow and took a mouthful, letting it melt on his tongue. He swallowed the water, then touched the pouch on his belt.
How many times had he done this, thinking of the white hair and carved bone inside? Both of them had stood for something greater than what they were, and now both were done. How was everything supposed to go back to normal now?
Or wasn’t it supposed to? Was this strangeness his new normal now? Had normality ever really existed for him at all?
He knew who would tell him.
He trudged towards Enska and Lilja’s tent. A pair of footprints were leading away from it. He guessed Enska had left to have a meeting with Henrik, because the tracks intermingled with ones coming from the hut and then disappeared in the direction of the Mustafjord.
Lilja was still there though. He could see her silhouette against the stretched tarp.
He pulled back the flap and peered inside. Lilja jumped at the sound, but when she saw who it was, she relaxed.
Tuomas didn’t wait for her to speak and let himself in, settling on the opposite side of the fire from her. A piece of antler was in her hand, the start of a new carving etched into the brown surface. She hadn’t done much, but already it looked stunning.
She put it down and withdrew a strip of salted meat from a bag. She cut it neatly down the middle with a knife.
Tuomas regarded the blade with interest. It was one of her own. Enska obviously trusted her enough to have given her back her belongings.
Lilja held out half of the meat. Tuomas took it, but didn’t let his fingers touch hers. No matter that it was a peace offering, tension still hung in the air.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
Lilja didn’t answer straightaway, taking a sizeable bite out of her share.
“I’m not sure about being back in Akerfjorden,” she admitted. “Last time I was here, I ended up playing midwife.”
Tuomas gave her a half-smile. “I suppose I should thank you for that.”
“And I should apologise to you,” said Lilja with sudden sincerity. “I never meant you any harm. What I did, out there on the fjord… that wasn’t me.”
“I know,” Tuomas replied. “I’m sorry too, for thinking you were with Kari. You had nothing to do with him.”
Lilja cast her eyes down and picked her teeth.
“I tried to stop him in the beginning. When I saw what he’d done, when he created that demon… My brother died that day. I was just too foolish to see it.”
She touched her scar with one hand. It had stopped bleeding, but still looked tender.
“He set that monster on me. I did what I could. I didn’t have it in me to kill him.”
“You’re a mage,” said Tuomas. “We don’t rule and we don’t kill.”
Lilja grinned at his words.
“So, you’ve passed your test.”
“Yes. I know I have. I felt it.”
“And you’ve accepted who you are at last?”
“I’m starting to,” Tuomas admitted. Then he shifted his weight and looked straight at her.
“Why didn’t you tell me? You knew all along who I was. Wouldn’t things have been so much easier if you were honest with me? Were you even going to tell me?”
Lilja sighed.
“I’m no Spirit reborn, but I know what it’s like to have knowledge like that hanging over your head. When my village found out I’d been touched by the Great Bear, I never got a moment to myself again. That’s why I left, decided to become a wanderer. Kari just followed me, because he was older than me. He wanted to make sure I wouldn’t be alone. He wasn’t bad, not at first. He was kind. He was all I had.”
She threw another log on the fire and it flared, casting shadows on her face.
“I wanted to spare you that isolation for as long as I could. I’d take you to the Northern Edge, get you help, so you could put the Spirit back in the sky. And then I’d go on my merry way. That was what I hoped. It was my plan. Henrik knew about your life-soul too, and he was your teacher – I was going to leave it to him.”
She took a few more bites of her meat. Tuomas regarded her as she ate, wondering how he had been able to mistrust her so much.
“I shouldn’t have thrown you out of Einfjall,” he said in a small voice.
“You were scared and delirious,” she r
eplied.
“But they cast you out because of what I said.”
“And you think I had a problem being on my own?”
“I’m still sorry,” said Tuomas. “If you’re on your own, it should be because you choose it, not because you’re unwelcome.”
Lilja shrugged.
“How can I make it up to you?” he asked. “I feel awful for what I did. Even when you came back, I still didn’t want to believe you weren’t wicked. What can I do?”
“For starters, you can eat the peace offering,” Lilja said, finishing off her half.
Tuomas realised he hadn’t touched his, and forced himself to take a small bite. It was a good cut, but tasted sinewy, not quite right in his mouth. He swallowed it after barely managing three chews.
“In all seriousness,” Lilja carried on, “you don’t need to do anything. I know you’re honest, and now you know I am – I always have been. So, if you really want to make things up to me, just do me a favour.”
“What?”
“Take care of yourself. You’re a mage now. Everyone thinks passing the test is the most important thing, but that’s just the beginning. This is a long and lonely road, even when you’re surrounded by others. I think you’re starting to realise that now. You will live to serve the Spirits and keep balance. So whatever you do, do it because you choose it. I know I’m going to keep doing that.”
Tuomas looked at her curiously.
“What does that mean?” he asked.
“It means,” said Lilja, “that I’m going back to Poro with Enska. It’s been too long since I’ve had a true home. And enough time has passed since I was last living there. Hopefully they’ll accept me back and won’t come asking me for favours every other day.”
She sighed, staring into the fire.
“And it will be good for my father and me to grieve together. No matter what Kari became, he was still family.”
Tuomas nodded. He couldn’t help but recall the thoughts he’d had in the World Below: that once their escapades were over, he would offer Lilja a home with him in Akerfjorden. It was clear, however, that she had made up her mind. He would respect it.
And it wasn’t as though she would never be able to travel the Northlands again. Once the Sun Spirit came back, all the villages would be on the move, following their herds on the migration paths and setting up their summer camps.