by Mj Fields
Love You Anyway
By
MJ Fields
Love You Anyways
Copyright 2014 MJ Fields
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Editing, proofreading, and formatting done by Little House of Edits
Cover created by Aubrey Storm
All music mentioned throughout has been given credit and are the work of the credited artist, musician, or song writer.
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the writer’s imagination or have been used
For adults only
Table of Content
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty One
Chapter Twenty Two
Chapter Twenty Three
Chapter Twenty Four
Chapter Twenty Five
Chapter Twenty Six
Chapter Twenty Seven
Epilogue
Prologue
I could bang any chick I wanted to with just two words whispered in her ear, ‘Wanna fuck?’ I had a dozen chicks under my belt by the time I’d met Tessa. All willing and waiting to hear those words from me. I was never turned down and, let’s be honest; I didn’t even have to use those two words often. I could look at a chick and know that the juices were pooling between her swelling lips. One swipe across the love nub and she was cream in my hands. The sign that I was about to be buried inside whoever that lucky girl was—for that night.
I loved to feel a tight pussy clench around my dick as I shoved into it. I loved to hear an uncomfortable whimper turn into my name being screamed as I savagely fucked them until they couldn’t move. I especially liked to fuck uptight little bitches who thought their shit didn’t stink and then just walk away, showing them they weren’t all that.
Bitches talk. One girl gets fucked right the first time and your cock is suddenly prime beach front property in the OC. The ones who acted like no one deserved their pussy were like walking infomercials. When they talked every B list girl who admired those pretentious bitches listened. After I fucked them they became A list too.
I finger fucked more girls in classrooms, on bus trips, and while at parties than anyone I knew. I was given blow jobs in locker rooms and stairwells at school. I even had three girls who, at the drop of a hat, would come to my house and fuck me and each other whenever I wanted it.
Get pissed all you want about what a pig I was or how crude it is that I talk about those days like that. But give me the opportunity to help you get your head on straight. I fingered, fucked, and got blow jobs from females who weren’t looking for anything more than a taste of what I had to offer. I never promised a second half to the Links show. I never even went down or kissed a girl that much. They knew what I was about. I just gave them what they wanted and in return I got to watch as my cum run down their chin or hear the screaming applause of a fan. With some of them the after effect of being done right, reaching orgasm for the first time (over and over again) confused them a bit. They got needy. Wanted a ‘relationship’. I told them the only relationship they were gonna get was via a phone call when I needed another release, cause no way was I putting myself in a situation like that. If it was good, they got my digits enabling them to do the same. Relationship involve feelings right? I watched what those types of feelings did to my parents and aside from an orgasm I didn’t need a female for anything. I had football, my boys, and my school work. I had goals and there was no way in hell I was going to screw that up.
Still not convinced I’m not a complete asswipe? Fine I’ll throw you one more example. Sadi Black. I let my dick lead that one. She led me to believe she felt the same as I did. I’d pick her up for school, she lived close so I wasn’t going out of my way, and she would suck me off the entire way to school. She didn’t act like it was a big thing. So after a week straight of that we were on our way to an away game and I was amped up. She was a cheerleader. I sat next to her on the bus (Mistake one) because I was gonna give her a little something back in hopes that her fondness for sucking me off in my vehicle would carry over to a fondness for sucking me off on public transportation.
Up her skirt my hand went and she rode that finger like a woman possessed, which I later learned she quite possibly was possessed. She added her finger to the mix and rubbed her clit as I sunk another finger inside her. She got a bit loud so I kissed her (Mistake two). After she came a few times, she sucked me off.
After our win I offered her a ride home, she declined and I was instantly pissed off. I explained to her that I wasn’t gonna offer it again and that after a week of teasing I was ready to give her the ride she was really after.
She informed me blowjobs and manual orgasms were all she would allow someone who wasn’t hers alone. She told me that she would not give it up to a boy, and yeah she said boy, like me. I asked her what the fuck she meant and she shook her head and walked towards a car and Joey, a guy who graduated last year, stood waiting.
I was pissed and grabbed her arm. I remember telling her that I would not be fucking used! And she laughed, “Then think of it as a mutual exchange Links. Bye bye.”
We ended up at the same after party and I ended up drunk. I was banging Tina and I heard her walk into the same bedroom I was in with Joey. It was dark so I’m sure they didn’t see us (Mistake 3) when they started throwing off clothes.
“I need this so bad. No one has ever given it to me like you Joey.”
I stood up and flipped on the light. “Says the fucking girl riding my hand to Whitney Point!”
She pretended to cover herself and I threw Tina’s clothes at her. “Out.”
“But…” Tina started to argue.
“You know the deal Tina. I’m done.”
“You didn’t come.” She pulled her shirt over her head.
“You did, consider yourself lucky.”
I looked over at Joey who was pissed and Sadi who was now crying. “I’m out Sadi. Tina? You need to make someone come you come with me.”
They left together and Sadi turned into a crazy lunatic. “How dare you!”
“Fuck you!” I grabbed my boxers.
“Fuck you? You’re not worth it. I don’t share…”
“Oh no? Did Joey know that?”
“We were broke up. That was us trying to get back together. I hate you!”
“Good! I’m not too fucking fond of you right now either.”
When she
started bawling I felt a bit of remorse and was fucking drunk.
“You could never give me what he could so why did you have to do that Links! Why?”
“I could give it to you better than he ever could.”
“I need a man not a boy.”
A challenge arouse and I stepped up to the challenge. “I can be a man Sadi, better than you’ve ever experienced.”
I grabbed her and kissed her.
“I can’t do this with you…”
“Try me. I won’t disappoint, never have.”
“I won’t be one of many.”
“Fine,” drunk and horny I caved. (Mistake 4)
I brought her home and she still wouldn’t give it up. But I am a competitor and if she needed me to prove something I sure as fuck was up to the challenge. I woke to my dick in her mouth in my bed. Sucking, slurping, and fingering herself. I could deal with this.
Boy was I wrong. She got knocked up right away. But this kid was in challenge mode, yet another competition. I was gonna be a Dad, better than Landon ever was to me. Sadi was a freak. A mess, a fucking crazy ass rag. She told me I had ruined her. Like her ass had any better options in life than what I could give her. She was gonna have an abortion I told her no. We broke up, she went and fucked Joey. I brought over my three girls and had one of the raunchiest nights of my life and she appeared.
I felt like a piece of shit for days. I assumed I was in love with her since eating, sleeping, and functioning were hell. Yeah hell. I’d met it’s keeper a few times in my day. The Sadi issue just stirred those feelings back up. Feelings that I had buried in enough pussy that it had not mattered until now. A father who left you with a mother who couldn’t stay sober. That kind of hell that I certainly wasn’t going to put my kid through.
So I told her I loved her (Mistake 5) and she told me she had an abortion. Dreams crushed, heart broke, and completely devastated that that one little tiny part of me was gone. A part of me that wouldn’t be tarnished or burned by life’s little secrets was torn away from me. That life was one I would no doubt have loved was now gone and there wasn’t a fucking thing I could do about it.
So what do I do? I fuck that bitch stupid. I bang her in hopes that she knows what it is she was losing. (Mistake 6). Then, I tossed her ass aside. Fuck her, fuck everyone, and fuck love. The problem was she wouldn’t let go. She played the ‘I made a mistake’ card, and I played the hell yeah you did, go fuck yourself one.
Welcoming the change in schools that was happening that year, I played my ass off in football. I was gonna be captain, I deserved to be. My senior year playing football was going to be a year to break records and the community would talk about it for an eternity.
I may have been off my normal turf (new school and all) but I would own it here. Anyone who thought I couldn’t would be wrong. Enter one big boobed blonde with an even bigger attitude.
That one girl, one little foot stomping, eye rolling, I want you, I hate you, I love you, I need you—to be my friend, turned my world upside down and inside out.
I grew up, well maybe not grew up, but grew as a person in the nearly five years I had been welcome with open arms into the Ross family. Tessa Ross… beautiful blonde tomboy who hid behind baggy shirts and a ponytail caught my eye the very first time I saw her tits bounce as she ran from her families’ pond and threw a shirt over a blue two piece bathing suit. Then she rolled those blue eyes at me when I gave her my signature stare and that ‘look’. She rolled her eyes at me, Lucas Links, star quarterback, a privileged kid, with looks and moves to back up my cocky arrogant demeanor.
Tessa Ross. My God how I loved that girl. But back then I had no clue what to do with the love she gave. I had no idea that we would go through so much, and I had no idea that even when you were in the same room with the same person so often you could still miss ever damn thing about them.
What I did know is that I lost her. I didn’t deserve her. And that I’d be damned if I wouldn’t learn from my epic fuck up and one day be exactly the man Tessa, and only Tessa, knew I could be.
Chapter One
December Rain
There comes a time in life when things are just easier. You no longer have to worry about retiring and having enough to still take care of your children financially if they need it. A time when the mortgage shows a big fat zero balance; a time when you no longer have to schedule vacation around school schedules and state testing. A time when you wake up in the morning and you look beside you and see the woman who has stuck by your side and know that there wasn’t a damn thing you’d do differently because by the grace of God she loved you and you loved her.
Then there are times when you can no longer wake up every morning and run five miles without experiencing some sort of physical discomfort. When a sprain takes a little longer to heal or a strained back throws you off for a couple of weeks. A time when you look at a book, or the computer screen, and have to give your eyes a chance to adjust. And when you say ‘huh?’ You’re not just hoping they will say never mind, you really didn’t hear what they said.
Then, there are times, like right now, when you can’t sleep and cringe at the body lying next to you because she’d been fucking another man for over four fucking years. It would be so easy to kick her ass out, tell her she was a fucking whore and never look at the face that caused you such anger and resentment.
I looked up at the television stand in the bedroom and saw the reason that Ash was still within five miles of me. Ava and Logan. My kids. I couldn’t hurt them. I couldn’t destroy the lives they had by going fucking crazy on the bitch lying in my bed. She blamed me. She was convinced it was my fault and she would try to convince them too.
I never wanted them to look at me like I was the cause of anything that hurt them. They were the two people in my life that I wanted to be proud of me. I wanted them to not just think but to know that their father would never walk away from them, even when they were parents themselves. I just wasn’t ready to chance it.
~
My wife Ashley had said several times, in some heated arguments that the reason our family was falling apart was because I have always loved Tessa Ross. And that I never let her go. She blamed me for her infidelity. For her more than four year affair with a man who had worked as my father’s lawyer for nearly fifteen years. She had gone to seek comfort in him when I made one fucking comment in our more than twenty years of marriage. One comment that our daughter overheard me say to Tessa in anger, “You should’ve stayed with me.”
I truly thought when Ash and I had finally talked about it she understood it was out of anger. I was so distraught that my daughter was vacationing with Tessa and her relatives, people I trusted, who had been splashed all over the news had shown up at her and Collin’s Cape home and she never felt it necessary to tell me they were there.
I never wanted my children in danger, or Tessa and hers. So there was truth in what my wife had said, I always have and always would love Tessa Ross–Abraham. She was the reason my life had changed over twenty five years ago. She was the reason I finally became the man that Tessa and her family taught me I could be.
I was a good husband and a better father than I ever had. As I grew older I learned that my father’s father was an abusive womanizing man. Therefore my father too was a better father than he had. I suppose that’s what happens when we grow in knowledge and age. We realize that instead of lugging around ‘the sins of the father’, so to speak, we decide to do better. Landon didn’t beat me or any of his wives so he also grew from his past’s pain, just like I had. What he did do, was cheat. Something I had done to Tessa--repeatedly.
I didn’t cheat on Ashley, I never would have. I took my vows seriously. I attended every function my children were involved in. I coached football and baseball. I was very present in our seemingly perfect life. Ash and I had a good relationship, our sex life was consistent, we took time to go on dates, even when the kids were little. I told her daily that I loved her, and it was true. I told
her she was beautiful and constantly told her how much I loved parts of her she took far too long looking at in the mirror that she apparently didn’t like about herself.
Her ass and tits were the parts she fixated on. I loved her ass, I told her that every time I was in it. Her tits were a perfect handful and even with age I showed them appreciation, with my hands, mouth, and words. When she started finding gray hairs at thirty five I pretended not to notice, sparing her feelings. To me she was the woman I would share my life with. I had vowed to do so. And she was the woman who gave me children.
In the past I had lost three. One at seventeen with my then girlfriend Sadi, who had an abortion and another with her when she miscarried a child she had conceived purposely to trap me and tear me away from a girl who I knew I loved from the moment I saw her. The third child I lost was with Tessa. A miscarriage again. It crushed her, and me. I built walls, I was sure that God was punishing me for all my sins. I believed Ashley and I were meant to be when she gave me her heart knowing I was still healing from the self-imposed devastation caused by Tessa finally walking away from me. That belief was further strengthened when she and her new friend Tessa Ross-Abraham found out together that they were both pregnant. The day she gave birth to Ava was truly the happiest day in my life. No other day compared. When I held my daughter in my arms, kissed her and the woman who gave me a child, I vowed to God I would never hurt them like I had hurt the many other women in my past. I was true to my word.
~
I force myself to don a normal holiday smile and fill the house with Christmas cheer when Ava and Logan walk down the stairs at around ten in the morning. Ashley is still asleep and I decide to steal this moment with the two people in the world that I love the most.
“Merry Christmas kids.” I greet them each with a hug and kiss.
Logan grumbled, “Merry Christmas.”
Ava smiles as she looks at the tree and all of the presents. “Santa came Loggie!”