by MF Isaacs
After tucking Natalie into bed, I made my way to the living area of our hotel room where Jimmy was passed out cold on the couch. His pants were open and his whiskey dick was partially exposed. I’m not going to lie, I was secretly happy I wouldn’t have to deal with his drunk ass tonight. I covered him up with the extra blanket from the closet and called it a night.
I was shocked to wake up the next morning to an empty bed. I could hear voices outside the bedroom, so I knew I wasn’t alone. The last thing I expected to see what Jimmy and Natalie talking quietly when I walked out of the bedroom. I could see she was freshly showered and he looked worse for the ware. He saw me first and gave me a chin lift which caused Natalie to turn and look. Her smile gave me enough to know she was doing what she could to help him.
I almost wanted to turn around and leave them to it, at least until she stood to kiss me good morning. Then I wanted to scoop her up and take her back to bed. I couldn’t do that knowing that Jimmy was making decisions for his future. I imagine he’s feeling like shit simply from the alcohol. Add the situation with Shelley to the mix, and I’m guessing he’d rather be sleeping.
“Hey man. Thanks for letting me crash here last night. I can’t imagine I was fun to be around last night.” I could see the remorse on his face.
“You were hammered. I came out after tucking Natalie in and you were already passed out. You guys been up long?” I asked as I sat down next to Natalie.
“We’ve been up long enough to figure out I have a ton of work to do if I want to get any money back from all the deposits we paid for the wedding. At first I was just going to say fuck it, but I know her family can’t afford to lose all that money. It’s not like Shelley went the cheap route on any portion of the wedding.” Seriously, this is one of the many reasons this man was my best friend, Shelley fucked him over and he’s worried about her family getting their money back.
“What can we do to help? We can make phone calls if you’d like? You do know that Natalie is a natural sales person. She can probably get full refunds out of people.” Natalie laughed despite me poking fun of her, she’s the least pushy sales person I’ve ever met.
“Let me call her mom and see what still needs to be done. I only talked to her briefly yesterday after I found out everything. She’s beyond embarrassed so I am sure she’d love help with making phone calls.” Despite being hung over, he made the phone call to see what all still needed to happen.
NATALIE
Five hours is a long fucking time to be on the phone. Kudos to those who make a living by talking on the phone. I couldn’t do it. I could however, get full refunds for Shelley’s parents on everything except the reception hall.
The only other expense that they couldn’t get a refund on was her dress. I had her mom send me a picture of it, thinking I could sell it online. My heart stopped the second I saw the picture. If I had one thing I’d dreamed about for my own wedding it would be the dress. The one dress I’d always dreamed about, but would never spend the money on; that is the dress she picked. I was stuck, I didn’t want to take advantage of Shelley’s parents, but I didn’t have the cash to pay almost $8,000 for a fucking dress. I also wouldn’t dare ask my parents to shell out that kind of money. I think they spent that dollar amount on my sister’s entire wedding, not just her dress.
Jimmy and Curtis hadn’t ventured far from where I sat making phone calls all day. Jimmy contacted his family and Curtis worked on the guest list Jimmy gave him. When it was all said and done, I called Sierra to fill her in. I knew the gang was planning on coming out tomorrow for the wedding and to spend the night. She told me she’d let the others decide if they would still come. I told her I wanted her to come so she could help me decide if I should try to make it work to buy Shelley’s dress, she agreed to convince everyone to still come.
CURTIS
I couldn’t have asked for a better woman. I can’t believe she spent all day working her fucking magic to help Shelley’s parents get their money back. All but one place gave them a full refund. I heard her talking to Sierra about the dress, I didn’t see it but I could tell by the tone of her voice that she wants the dress. I had Jimmy contact Shelley’s mom and tell her I’d pay for the dress.
My sister thought she was being sneaky when she sent me a text telling me I should buy Natalie the dress without her knowing. I loved that I could respond to her telling her I’d already done it.
I received a second text from Sierra saying I should call Kyler. Something about the guys on the team. I didn’t waste any time, I called him knowing that practice should be over. I try not to put Kyler in an unfair position simply because of our family connection, but I didn’t know what Sierra was referring to. “Hey man.” He sounded distracted when he answered.
“Hey, I just got a message from my sister saying I should call you. What’s going on?” I could hear him exhale as I asked the question.
“Fuck. Nothing. Everything will be fine. When are you going to be back?” I could hear him moving around, I was hoping he was going somewhere that he could talk and tell me what was happening.
“Kyler, you gotta tell me what is going on, I am not supposed to be back until Sunday night. But the wedding has been cancelled. If you guys need me to be there, I can come home tonight. Just say the word man, I’ll be there.” At this point I don’t think there is anything he can say that will stop me from heading back early.
“Coach said there will be several college scouts at our game tomorrow. That’s all good, but we couldn’t help notice the smell of alcohol on his breathe at practice yesterday and again today. I know the seniors who are being scouted are freaking out about how he might impact things for them.” I’m proud of him, I know it sucks to rat out someone who is in a position of authority over you.
“No worries. Natalie and I will be on the road shortly. We’ll have plenty of time to get home tonight, we’ll be home before eight. We can have a team meeting at our place tonight or an extra early one tomorrow morning before the game. You decide and call the guys. Let me know one way or the other.” I made eye contact with Natalie so she knew we were packing it up right away.
“Sounds good. I know for sure the guys will pick tonight. Do you want me to order some pizzas? Call me when you guys are a half hour away and I’ll head over there.” He reminds me of Amy when he does things like that. Goes out of his way to take care of those around him.
“Sounds good. Hey Kyler, I’m proud of you. I know Coach has put you guys in a shitty spot, you guys could have handled it different ways and I’m glad you chose this way. I’ll see you soon.” I heard him make a noise to acknowledge my compliment, then said “Bye.”
NATALIE
The whole weekend didn’t go the way we thought it would. I expected to enjoy a few nights in a hotel with Curtis, get drunk at the wedding reception and have hot, drunk, wedding sex. At least I didn’t have to endure a wedding sober, I don’t think I’ve been sober at a wedding since I was 13 when I went to dad’s co-worker’s daughter’s wedding. Even then I probably would have snuck some champagne if we hadn’t left right after dinner.
I can’t say after the way things went on Thursday, that I am sad there wasn’t a wedding. I’ve been to a lot of weddings; shit, I’ve been in a lot of weddings. I decided when I turned 24, after being in 6 weddings the year before, that I would be selective in the weddings I agreed to play bridesmaid in. My rules for agreeing were pretty basic, like have either cheated or currently expecting a baby with someone else, but surprisingly the rules helped weed out weddings. At this point, I don’t plan to be in any wedding other than my own.
As I listened to Curtis talk to Kyler, I started packing up our things. I could sense the disappointment rolling off Jimmy, but couldn’t concern myself with his drama. We’d done all we could to help him. It is his turn to figure shit out for himself. I busied myself and allowed the two guys to talk before Curtis and I took off. Jimmy was kind enough to help us with our bags and gave me a warm hug good bye along wi
th thanking me over and over for my help canceling everything. Curtis helped me into the car and took a few minutes to say good bye. I couldn’t hear the conversation but I didn’t miss the look of devastation that washed over Jimmy’s face as Curtis spoke.
CURTIS
“I’m sorry this weekend didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to. I thought she was your person.” I had too, especially when he told me he wouldn’t share her.
“I hate admitting this, but I don’t have much to lose at this point. I am thankful I found out now before I went through with the wedding. I knew she wasn’t my person. I knew in the back of my mind that I was just trying to do the right thing by marrying her. I knew if she had my child, my family would expect that we get married. I couldn’t have explained it to them, or anyone really. Yes, I got her pregnant but I am in love, always have been with someone else.” At his confession, my gaze connects with his. My heart rate picks up along with the desire to run, before I can he continues, “I am glad we didn’t go through with the wedding because I didn’t love her the way I love you. The way I have always loved you.”
“Don’t. Jimmy, don’t. I, I don’t. I love Natalie, she is my person. Your confession is not going to make me change my mind about her or my own wedding.”
“What about like before? Can’t we try like before? Maybe just let me watch at first, I’d be happy with that for now.”
I shook my head stopping him. “No, it’s not going to happen.”
I watched his face fall. “Is there anything I can say to get you to change your mind?”
“It won’t matter, ten years from now, twenty years from now, I won’t look back and wonder if I made a mistake because I know in my heart and mind that she is my person.” I hated to stand there and watch his face as I once again broke his heart. This time it was different, the words were out there and I wasn’t taking them back. “I need to go, but I want you to agree that you’ll take some time to figure things out for yourself. I know you were hoping for a different response from me, but I can’t give you that. She has my heart and my future. I’ll give you some time, but then you really need to figure out what you want out of life. And the answer can’t be me.” I gripped and squeezed his shoulder before I made my way to the driver’s side of the car. His simple chin lift showed me he wasn’t going to put up a fight.
NATALIE
In my mind, I played out how I thought their conversation went; I think Jimmy confessed his undying love for Curtis. When Curtis climbed in behind the wheel and drove off without looking back I expected some type of conversation to happen. We drove for an hour in silence. An hour in which my mind replayed how I imagined the conversation going. For an hour, I sat allowing my heart to break a little each time I played the conversation.
When Curtis pulled off to get gas and drinks, I silently went into the gas station and made my way to the nasty ass bathroom in the back. I’ve never been more thankful for a nasty bathroom, with a door that locked. It wasn’t until I was hovered over the nasty toilet that my emotions bubbled over. My balance on a good day was bad, today wasn’t a good day. The cast didn’t help either. I was forced to sit, it was that or fall over. I opted for the nasty seat, because I knew if I fell to the floor it would be worse. I sat crying for longer than I wanted. I cried for my heart and my butt.
The knock on the door forced me to pull myself together. My tears didn’t help resolve anything, I still felt in limbo. I still have questions about what Curtis is feeling toward Jimmy. I still know in my heart that I am not willing to share him. I fear with every fiber of my being that I am going to lose him by not backing down and allowing our relationship to include a third. After washing my hands and using the wet paper towel to dry my eyes I look myself in the mirror and voice my thoughts out loud, “Baby or not, I am not backing down.”
I expected a line of women waiting to use the bathroom, instead I walk right into Curtis who is waiting for me outside the door. “Are you okay?”
I force a fake smile, not willing to have this conversation here, “Just ready to be home.”
I feel his hand on my lower back as he guides me to the door. “Let’s go Hot Stuff, let’s get you home.”
Eleven words were all he spoke for the entire three-hour drive home. It took everything in me to keep from crying. I thought when he was waiting for me outside the bathroom at the gas station that maybe he was ready to talk, but the second he was back on the road, silence took over. I tried to come up with different scenarios to the conversation he had with Jimmy before we left but none any better than the one before it.
As we pulled into the driveway at the condo I could see Kyler waiting for Curtis. His presence allowed me to escape the reality of dealing with whatever was going on. I greeted Kyler and told both guys I was going to shower and give them room to have their meeting. In my heart, I had hoped that Curtis would excuse himself for a minute to check on me, he usually helped me with the cast. Not tonight, he didn’t follow me. I stood in the shower and let the tears fall. I planned to stay in there until the water ran cold, until I remembered Curtis telling me about the fancy ass on demand hot water heater and how it will never run cold. So, I stood in there until my fingers looked like an old lady and my eyes hurt from all the tears.
Rather than climbing in bed naked or wearing one of Curtis’ old t-shirt, like Curtis seems to enjoy, I pulled on my old lady flannel pajamas. The emotions exhausted me, which means I didn’t play the imagined conversation over and over. I was asleep within minutes of sliding into bed. I thought about sleeping in the other room where my old bed is, but I was afraid he wouldn’t come find me. I was afraid he would let me stay there, I was afraid that it was where he ultimately wanted me to be. Sleeping in our bed, it was up to him whether he climbed in or not.
CURTIS
The team meeting went longer than I expected. The boys had all come prepared for me to automatically side with them. When that didn’t happen, they freaked out a little. I reassured them that I had contacted the athletic director and it was out of our hands. We agreed to stick with the plans coach had put in place for tomorrow’s game. I agreed to be there early to ensure the scouts had access to what and who they wanted. But reassuring a bunch of teenagers is exhausting.
I knew that Natalie was exhausted as well, I could tell on the drive home that she was tired. I kept the music low thinking she would fall asleep on the way home, but she didn’t. I almost checked on her when I heard the shower stay on for over a half hour, I was worried she might have fallen asleep. I was just about there when I heard the water shut off, it was the same time a group of the guys showed up. Now that everyone was gone, it was almost midnight and I didn’t want to wake her up.
I stood in the doorway of our bedroom, with the hallway light I could see her sleeping form. I couldn’t help but notice that she was wearing her old lady flannel pajamas. I’d seen them, but never on her. I preferred her to sleep naked and if she was cold I liked her to wear one of my t-shirts. I quietly undressed and slowly climbed into bed hoping not to wake her. At the shifting of the bed she mumbled in her sleep. I couldn’t hold my chuckle, which caused her to roll over.
Our eyes connected as we each rested our head on our own pillow. There was still enough light from the hallway for me to see the puffiness of her eyes. Immediately my thoughts went to the baby. I reached for her, to pull her into my body so I could hold her, and when she pulled back from my touch my heart stopped. I watched as her already puffy eyes filled with tears. My eyes mirrored hers, tears filling them without even understanding what is wrong. “Natalie, talk to me. What is wrong? You’ve been crying. What is it?”
“I am not ever going to change my mind. I am never going to want him to join us. If you want him…” I covered her mouth with my hand, trying to stop her from saying another word.
“Natalie, Honey, listen to me. Look at me.” I waited for her to blink away the tears before I slowly smiled at her, my heart hurt seeing her so upset. “I do not ever want anyon
e other than you. I will not change my mind. You are all I want. I am sorry if I haven’t done a good job showing this to you over the last couple of days. I am sorry if you have been worried all this time because I wasn’t clear. I don’t know if you heard the conversation I had with Jimmy as we left.” She looked guilty but shook her head no. “He asked point blank if he could join us. I shot him down and made sure he understood that would never be a possibility. I encouraged him to get out and find what he wants. Babe, it’s you and me. That is all our bed will ever have. Maybe a kid or two, but as far as being intimate it will only be you and me.” I pulled her into my body and lightly kissed all over her face, including her puffy eyes.
I didn’t let her go, within minutes of me reassuring her she relaxed into my arms. Both of us asleep shortly thereafter.
***
The athletic director was waiting for me when I arrived at the field. He didn’t look happy, but I didn’t figure he wanted to be on the field this early on a Saturday morning. I kept my word to the guys that I would be there early to meet with the scouts to help them get access to those they wanted. As I approached I could see he had some of the usual coaching stuff. The minute he opened his mouth I knew the guys hadn’t been exaggerating, “You prepared to be head coach?”