Do an honest assessment—what are your greatest hopes? Are they being “deferred”? How can you use the spiritual resources you have to help your heartsickness?
Prayer: Lord, I often am indeed heartsick because of deferred hopes. Help me strengthen my heart in two ways. Remind me through your Word that we are in the wilderness, not in the Promised Land. And make yourself my most cherished hope—because I can have you now! Amen.
April 17
Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy. (14:10)
ALONE. No one can fully share the joys and know the sorrows of another human being. No one has experienced your life exactly as you have. The implications for wisdom are many. From the outside, never be completely assured that you can absolutely predict or understand the behavior of another person. You may guess wrongly what a person is thinking, what things motivate him or her, and why certain feelings are so strong.
From the inside, remember that no one can read your mind. If you don’t want to be terribly lonely, you will have to open your heart and reveal yourself. Finally, in the end, only the Lord can know all the thoughts of the heart (1 Corinthians 2:11), and he knows them better than you do (Jeremiah 17:9–10; Proverbs 21:2). Jesus walked through death for you, and now only he can take you by the hand when you walk through the ultimate dark place, the door of death (Psalm 23:4).
Though we all need human friendship, it will not replace true friendship with God. Can you say that you enjoy friendship with God? Why or why not?
Prayer: Lord, I have great friends and a great family, but only you are truly, always with me. The only way, then, that I can avoid terrible loneliness is to spend more and more time with you. Don’t let the world squeeze out my time with you. Amen.
April 18
Even in laughter the heart may ache, and rejoicing may end in grief. (14:13)
LOOK DEEPER. Experienced counselors know well the truths behind this proverb, but anyone who wants to live wisely must know them too.
First, it means there is a tragedy and a sadness to life from which no amount of celebration or rejoicing can provide a full escape. Some wounds never really heal. The festal joy that Jesus brings is always partial in this life, never full. Jesus himself did a lot of weeping, not because of anything wrong with him but because his perfect, loving heart was necessarily affected by the sadness of human life. So will ours be. Second, “our moods are seldom untinged with their opposites, and are none of them permanent.”93 Perhaps the simplest lesson is that we should look past the surface statements of “I’m fine, thanks” and even “life of the party” behavior and listen more carefully if we are to discern how a person is really doing.
Do you tend to turn everything into a joke or carry on in a lighthearted way? That can be pleasant to some, but might it not be a denial of or insensitivity to the genuine sadness of life?
Prayer: Lord, in this world even the happiest times are tinged with sadness. But that is offset with a knowledge of your promises, so even the saddest times can be tinged with happiness. Trouble makes us depend more on you and in prayer seek more your love. Indeed, you make “my griefs to sing.”94 Amen.
April 19
Light in a messenger’s eyes brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones. (15:30)
JOY. If the verse of April 18 exhorted us to look more carefully to see how a person is doing, this proverb suggests looking at the eyes, especially at their light. We speak of eyes shining, gleaming, brightening, and we don’t mean any literal light coming through them. Observant people know that even if a person’s words are positive, a lack of light in the eyes can reveal sadness. If the messenger here is the radiant face of a friend who brings some encouraging news, we learn how important relationships are for a life of joy.
So for joy in our hearts we need people with light in their eyes. But where do they get it? Paul tells Christians that they can have a joy not based on circumstances at all, which requires thoughtfulness and meditation on what God has done for us and will do for us (Philippians 4:4,11–13). There is, then, a joy that comes only through the ultimate message—the gospel, which literally means “the news that brings joy.” If you believe in Jesus, then you have truly seen “a great light” (Matthew 4:16), and it is inevitable that your eyes will reflect it to others.
Would anyone say that your joy and happiness lifts up their hearts?
Prayer: Lord, give me the joy that I need to live the day. I lack joy because I don’t spend sustained time in detailed thanksgiving for both temporal and spiritual gifts and blessings. And I don’t simply rejoice enough just in being in your presence. Provoke me to do the things that bring your joy into my life. Amen.
April 20
The wicked flee though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion. (28:1)
GUILT. Behind the insecurity that many experience is a guilty conscience. The more we lie and betray, the more we fear being betrayed until we flee though no one pursues. This goes beyond just remorse for past misdeeds. Even in our modern relativistic culture, we see “The Strange Persistence of Guilt.”95 We struggle mightily with a sense that there is something wrong with us, that we are not who we should be. The Bible tells us this is a repressed knowledge that we are sinners (Romans 1:18).
Those whose consciences are clear toward God do not have to be looking back over their shoulders. They can be bold as a lion. Why? If your sins are covered by God’s grace (Psalm 32:1), then your past will not be pursuing you (Numbers 32:23) but only God’s goodness and mercy (Psalm 23:6).96 Lady Macbeth could not rid herself of the stain of guilt on her hands, but Jesus is the messenger of the covenant (Malachi 3:1–4) who can cleanse us of any stain and guilt (1 John 1:7).
Do you have a guilty conscience about anything?
Prayer: Father, when I don’t confess the things I know I’ve done wrong, I overwork and overcommit. I see now that this is because I am trying to atone for my own sins. But I can’t. Let me rest in your Son’s sacrifice, and rest content. Amen.
April 21
A person may think their own ways are right, but the LORD weighs the heart. (21:2)
GOD’S SCALES. 16:2 said we think our motives are pure when they are not (March 27). Here 21:2 says something a bit different. We think we can determine what is right, just and true, but humans do not define what is right or wrong—God does.97 We live in an era when we are told, “No one has the right to tell anyone else how to live,” that we can define right and wrong for ourselves. Yet this cultural assumption is riddled with contradictions. We hold it but in the next breath criticize people for bigotry or greed or cruelty. Justice has one set of scales—God’s. He alone weighs every heart.
So don’t overly trust your moral instincts and motives. We say we confront people “for their own good,” but really are we just trying to punish them? We tell ourselves we are attracted to someone out of love, but really is it because their looks and beauty build up our ego? Let God’s Word search and sift your instincts and motives through study and prayer.
Are you too quick to ascribe good motives to yourself? Recall a time when you fooled yourself about the real reasons you pursued something.
Prayer: Lord, I whiplash back and forth between too much introspection and too little. Cure this in me with the gospel. Your unconditional love for me in Christ keeps me from either trying to earn your love through self-examination or fearing to do it at all. Amen.
April 22
The human spirit can endure in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear? (18:14)
THE CRUSHED SPIRIT. As we have seen, Proverbs sees that the emotional and physical health are integral and both important. But this text adds nuance to that. It teaches that without physical well-being, life is hard, and without any joy, it is unbearable.98
What is the implication? There’s nothing more important than maintaining your inward, spiritual life. A broken body can be sust
ained with difficulty by a strong spirit, but a broken spirit cannot be sustained by even the physically strongest person in the world. We are taught that our happiness is based on external things such as beauty, health, money, and status. Here we are being told, “No, it has nothing to do with your outward circumstances. Happiness is determined by how you deal with your circumstances from inside, how you process, how you address, and how you view them.”
Is there anything that is crushing your spirit?
Prayer: Lord, I do blame my circumstances for my unhappiness, and that makes me secretly resentful toward you. But my joy is largely determined by where I rest my heart. Free me from enslavement to circumstance. Let me rest my hope and heart in you. Amen.
April 23
A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. (15:13–14)
HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE. Remember that the “heart” in the Bible is not the emotions but our trusts and attitudes. The happy heart, we are told here, is the discerning heart, filled with wise convictions and commitments. 15:13–14, then, is telling us that the wise heart leads to cheerful emotions, and the foolish heart to crushed emotions. The principle is a subtle one but important. It means, ultimately, that happiness is a choice. Our “thoughts and attitudes . . . not the circumstances, are decisive.99
We have gone far enough in the book of Proverbs to see, however, that we are not talking about mere stoicism, a simple clamping down of emotions through willpower. The heart consists of the attitudes and stances toward life. We can choose to reflect with our mind and to fire our imagination through art, singing, and worship—all so that the truths and realities of God and of his grace and promises fill our view.
What is making you unhappy? How can the insights of these proverbs help you today?
Prayer: Lord, I am so, so spiritually weak, that in order to live the life I should, I need both a mind convinced by solid arguments and an imagination fired with the beauty of your character and story. Show me how to bring both into my life. Amen.
April 24
Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city. (16:32)
SELF-CONTROL: THE IMPORTANCE. A warrior knew how to conquer and master a whole city. But these proverbs argue that even better is the patient, self-controlled person who knows how to conquer and master himself. This means that is it harder to master yourself than to master others, or even a whole nation. There are too many examples of world beaters who won prizes or literally conquered nations but who could not control their tempers, their tongues, or their emotions.
In ancient times people with self-control and prudence were highly admired over those who followed whim and passion. Today self-control is often seen as unhealthy. Following one’s passion, feeling one’s anger, and being spontaneous are all valued in the world of the creative and sophisticated. Yet so many of our most famous celebrities, following this pattern, have made a shipwreck of their lives. As we have seen, biblical wisdom is all about the goodness of emotion, yet it is God’s Word, not our intuitions and feelings, that must be sovereign.
Where has a lack of self-control brought trouble into your life?
Prayer: Lord, the last of the “fruit of the Spirit” (Galatians 5: 22–23), self-control, seems to be also the slowest to grow in me. I can be loving and even humble before I can get control of my tongue and behavior. I repent and ask you to show me the way forward. Amen.
April 25
Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control. (25:28)
SELF-CONTROL: THE PROBLEM. Without a wall the residents of ancient cities were vulnerable to attacks by bands of robbers, other nations’ armies, and even animals. A person who lacks self-control is just as defenseless. If you can’t control your appetite for food, you will ruin your body. If you can’t control your tongue or temper, you will say things that can’t be unsaid or taken back. If you can’t control your sexual desires, you will ruin relationships. If you are impulsive and imprudent, not thinking things out, you will make rash decisions. If you can’t say no to people, you will overpromise and either be exhausted and overextended or have a life filled with disillusioned people and broken relationships.
A city doesn’t have to be completely without a wall in order to be sacked. The wall just needs to be broken through at one point to let the enemy in. So a lack of self-control—even in just one area of life—is a life-threatening problem.
Where is your “wall” broken or most vulnerable? In what area of life do you most need self-control?
Prayer: Lord, help me to do a survey of my life the way ancient soldiers examined their city wall. Show me where I most need fortification in my self-control. I have an idea, but I want to take time to examine myself with your help. Amen.
April 26
The name of the LORD is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. The wealth of the rich is their fortified city; they imagine it a wall too high to scale. (18:10–11)
SELF-CONTROL: THE SOLUTION. In ancient times a wall was a safe place in an attack, but a fortified tower was even better. These two proverbs indicate that everyone has a place of ultimate security, a “fortification,” something about which they say, “If I have that, I’ll be safe.” The wealthy, the powerful, the beautiful all think that these things are their “towers.”
But the wise person runs into the name of the Lord. In the Bible, God’s name is a way of speaking of his nature and attributes. To run into God’s name is to deliberately rehearse and tell yourself who he is. Jesus asked his fearful disciples in the storm, “Where is your faith?” He chastised them for failing to remember all that they had seen him do (Luke 8:25). If you panic, you are failing to remember (to “run into”) his power, his wisdom, his love for you. Self-control in any situation is the critical ability to both recognize and choose the important thing over the urgent thing. To honor, trust in, and please God is always the most important thing.
What are you facing right now that is difficult? What attribute of God might you be forgetting—and might help greatly if you remembered it?
Prayer: Lord, the more you are on the periphery of my thoughts and feelings, the less self-control I have. The more you are in the center, vividly before the eyes of my heart and attention, the more I can control myself. Lord, grab and hold my attention, moment by moment, so I can live as I should. Amen.
April 27
Evildoers are snared by their own sin, but the righteous shout for joy and are glad. (29:6)
SHOUT FOR JOY. Because God’s creation has an order within it, evildoers are snared by their own sin. But, as we have seen, the arcs of sin and righteousness toward their destinies can be very long. For the time being, sin may bring prosperity and righteousness may lead to suffering. In fact, it is only in eternity that sin receives its full retribution and goodness its complete reward.
So evildoers may not be “snared” for a long time. But there is no reason for believers to wait until the end to shout for joy and be glad. Indeed, anyone leading a wise life, regardless of the inevitable difficulties, will have times of shout-out-loud joy and laughter. In his very first miraculous sign, Jesus revealed himself to be Lord of the feast, who comes to bring us festal joy (John 2:1–11). Every time we participate in the Lord’s supper, we are literally getting a foretaste of that final, endless, incomparable feast that has been guaranteed to us by his death and resurrection (Isaiah 25:6–8; Revelation 19:6–8). Here is the joy that we can access anytime.
When was the last time you experienced shout-out-loud joy in God? Has it been too long?
Prayer: Lord, at the wedding feast of Cana (John 2) you sat among the joyous, thinking of your coming sorrow. But you went to the cross so we can sit here surrounded by sorrows, sipping the coming joy. How I praise you for your great salvation. Amen.
The S
even Deadly Sins: Anger
April 28
Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly. . . . A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel. . . . Fools give full vent to their rage but the wise bring calm in the end. . . . An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins. (14:29, 15:18, 29:11,22)
THE DANGER OF ANGER. These texts give us an extensive list of the dangers of anger. A wise person is patient with people, seeing extenuating circumstances and legitimate reasons that people misbehave. By contrast, the quick-tempered responds in rage rather than understanding, reducing everything to a simplistic black-and-white analysis (14:29). Anger creates greater conflict and destroys the good that cooperation and compromise can bring (15:18). While anger is not a sin in and of itself, it should be a passing thing, directed without excess to solve a problem, resulting in calm at the end (29:11). In the same way, God’s anger is for a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime (Psalm 30:5). Remember, uncontrolled anger is a “gateway drug” for many other sins (29:22). No other sinful emotion has led to so much violence and, literally, to so many dead bodies.
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