Chapter 2
With Max sitting so close I could feel the heat of the outside of his thigh pressed against my jeans. I tried to keep my breathing steady as I looked into his eyes. I knew that he was joking. I’d seen the women he dated, and they did not look like me. But he was always lavishing me with praise, as if I was just as beautiful. Sometimes, I wasn’t sure if he was teasing me or being serious, but he never put me down.
“I’m going to a class,” I said quietly, snatching up my black leotard and tights.
“What kind of class?” He leaned back on my bed, placing his hands behind him.
“Sort of a dance class,” I said, thankful that I’d gotten the leotard out of the way before he could spot it.
“What’s this?” Max sat up with a piece of paper in his hand.
I thought nothing of it at first, until I realized what it was.
“Max, give me that!”
My heart was pounding. I so did not want to deal with telling him about this right now. But he was already reading it.
“Pole dancing,” he read out loud. “Why is this highlighted and surrounded by stars?” He glanced up at me as I lunged across the bed, grabbing the list out of his hand.
“Mine!” I said just a little too loudly, and he laughed.
“Is that the dance class? Pole dancing?” He narrowed his eyes as he looked at me.
“Maybe,” I said, tucking the list into my pocket.
“So that’s what the leotard is for.” He had a mischievous grin on his face, and I was annoyed that he’d seen the outfit despite my best efforts to get it out of his eyesight. “Put it on. Let me see you in it.”
“No way, Max.” And he was not going to convince me otherwise. “Some things are private.”
He was quiet for a few seconds as he looked at me intently. “Even from me?”
Oh, definitely from you, I thought.
“This has nothing to do with you, Max, so wipe that pout off your face. It’s not happening.” I got up from the bed, leotard in hand. “The only people that are going to see me in this are the teacher and the other students in the class.”
“Well, where can I sign up?”
I laughed and threw my leotard at him. “Only if you try this on first.”
He grinned and shook his head. “Not my style, Sam. But I think you’ll look fantastic in it. I dare you to wear just that to class. Don’t cover yourself up so much.”
“I know, I know, I’ve lost so much weight, I should be proud, blah, blah, blah,” I said, walking across the room towards the mirror. I had lost about seventy pounds over the past year, leaving me at my new svelte size of one hundred and eighty pounds.
“No, Sammy,” he said and sat forward a bit on the bed. “You should be proud no matter what you weigh, because you’re gorgeous. Nothing can change that.”
I smiled at him in the mirror and he smiled back. He always knew just what to say to make me feel better.
“So are you going to do it?” he asked, his smile turning devilish. “Just the tights and the leotard, nothing else.”
“Maybe. But you won’t find out because you’re not going!”
“Fine.” He threw himself backwards on my bed, silent for several seconds.
I wondered what he was thinking, as there was nothing particularly interesting about the ceiling that he seemed to be studying so intently.
“So what’s the paper for?” he asked. “I noticed it’s like a list.”
“None of your business,” I said, turning back to the mirror, trying to look as casual as possible.
“So many secrets.” He frowned and stared at my reflection. “I thought I was your best friend.”
Max was very good at laying on the guilt trip, but I didn’t have time for any of it at the moment.
“Best guy friend.” I smiled at him. “That means you don’t get to be in on some secrets. You should be grateful for that,” I added with a laugh.
“I’m not grateful at all. That’s just discrimination,” he said, and I couldn’t help but notice that he seemed genuinely upset. “I thought you were more evolved than that.”
“Nope, I’m not more evolved than that,” I said and turned to face him. “Now get off my bed, get out of my apartment, and go fix some computers.”
He wiped his hand over his eyes and mouth and shook his head. “That is not what I do.”
I knew what was coming next and I really didn’t have time for it.
“Would you like me to explain it again?” he asked.
“No, please don’t.” I laughed and shook my head.
Max had tried several times to explain his high-tech job to me, but I still didn’t quite get it.
“I think you should quit your tinkering and come back to the Fluff and Stuff.”
“Ah, the good old Fluff and Stuff,” Max said with a slight shake of his head. “The only laundromat where I can wash my boxers and buy a box of junk.”
“Like you wear boxers.” I winked at him.
It was Max’s turn to blush a little.
“And it’s not junk, it’s unique one-of-a-kind items,” I said, always quick to defend the job that had come to mean a lot to me over the years. “I love the Fluff and Stuff. You used to love it too.”
“Right, while I was still in college, studying for my real job.”
His words stung a little and took me by surprise. I frowned as I turned away from him.
“It’s real enough to me,” I said quietly.
“I’m sorry, Sam. I didn’t mean it that way,” he said quickly. “I just meant—you know—when we started working there, we were both just out of high school. It was a college gig for both of us.”
“But you finished college and I couldn’t pick a major,” I said and shook my head, annoyed at where the conversation was headed. I started to push Max towards the door. “I have to get to class.”
Max turned to face me. “Sam, please. You know I didn’t mean anything by it.”
I looked back at him and couldn’t help but smile. His obvious concern for my feelings was touching.
“I know you didn’t, Max. Besides, I’m the manager now, and that’s much more important than fixing computers,” I said with a shrug.
“Sam, that is not what I do.”
“Well, whatever you do”—I waved my hand towards the door of my apartment—“go do it, so I can get ready for class.”
“Remember, just the leotard!” he hollered over his shoulder, and I could hear him laughing as he walked away.
End of the preview.
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An introduction to the fun Alex in Onederland series…
Please enjoy the following preview for
book 1 - “Common Grounds”
Chapter 1
I guided the sign over the hooks on the front door and felt my heart flutter. It was official. Common Grounds was no longer just a dream, but a reality.
“Where do you want these books, Mom?”
I turned to see my daughter, her arms full of books, near the front counter of the cafe. Rachel, with her golden hair and her bright green eyes, looked at me with pride. It was a wonderful feeling to see that in her eyes.
“Right there on the shelf beside the counter. We’ll make that section the lending library.”
“Great idea.” Rachel turned to shelve the books.
Just as I was about to turn back to the front window, the door swung open and in whisked my best friend.
“Alex! Oh, the place looks astounding!” She clapped her hands, which caused the multitude of jewelry she wore to jingle.
“You just saw it yesterday, Willow.” I laughed and hugged her.
“I know, but each day you add something new.” She hugged me in return. “I’m so excited for you.”
“Thanks. I’m excited too. I can’t believe this is finally happening. And to think—when I first told you about the idea, I didn’t see how it could ever work.” I smiled at her. “But you were so supportive—never letting me give up.”
“Well, I am always right.” Willow grinned. “By the way, have you heard from Samantha yet?”
I was still pinching myself that Samantha Bradford, author of the B.I.G. Girls Club series, had agreed to come speak at my event. Her books and blog, Single Wide Female, had inspired me so much throughout all the changes I’d made.
“Not yet. She’s supposed to arrive any minute. It’s still hard for me to believe that she’s actually coming here.”
“Why? You’re an inspiration, Alex.”
“I don’t know if I would go that far.” I shrugged and smoothed my dark hair away from my face. “Maybe I should have gotten my hair cut.”
“Your hair is perfect.”
“It’s not. It’s mousey and thin and outdated.”
“We’re outdated, love.” Willow laughed. “Your hair suits you at that length. Besides, this is all about you embracing you, not you trying to look a part.”
“True.” I smiled. “Maybe the real me wants to go purple.”
“Purple. Hmm, I like that idea.” She fluffed her short, layered hair and showed off the black streaks beneath the dark red tendrils. “I can get you in to see my stylist.”
“Let me get through my first week here, then we’ll see.”
“Alright. Now, how can I help?”
“If you’d like to line up the coffees so they face the customers, that would be great.”
“I’m on it.”
As Willow walked away, I nearly pinched myself. I was so excited, but I was also a little nervous. Most businesses failed in the first few months. I knew that. Even with my business degree and background, it would be a struggle. But, I was taking a chance—perhaps for the first time in my life. The thought filled me with anticipation and some dread as well.
The door swung open and I turned to find the woman whom I’d admired so much from afar. I’d read so many of Sammy’s books and blog posts over the past months that I felt as if we were already friends. I still couldn’t believe that I’d gotten up the courage to invite her to speak at the opening of my cafe, and even more incredible, that she’d agreed to it.
“Samantha!” I smiled so wide that my cheeks ached as I thrust my hand out toward her. “I’m Alex.”
“Alex.” Samantha smiled and took my hand in her own. She gave it a firm shake, then patted the back of it. “The place looks beautiful.”
“Thank you. It’s still in progress, but I’m sure it will be ready by tonight.”
“Hi!” A little girl wound her hand around Samantha’s and gazed up at me with wide bright eyes. “I’m Abby.”
“Hello, Abby.” I smiled. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
“You too.” She giggled and ducked her head against her mother’s arm.
My heart filled with longing, not for another child, but for the memory of Rachel clinging to my arm so many years ago. How was it that time had gone so fast?
“Mom, do you want me to get some coffee going?”
I looked over at my daughter and quickly brushed away the tears that had surprised me. I was proud of the woman she’d become, but there would always be a small part of me that missed those little fingers that had once gripped my own so tightly.
“Sure, thank you, sweetie.” I turned my attention back to my guest.
“This is my husband, Max.” Samantha said, her hand in his.
“It’s so great to meet you.” I shook his hand, impressed by the warmth of his smile. “To meet all of you. I’m just so honored that you agreed to come here.”
“Enough with that—it’s a pleasure for me to be here. I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am to share this milestone with you.” Samantha squeezed my hand again. “You’ve come through so much to create this, and every single moment from this one on should be filled with celebration.”
“I’m trying to keep that in mind. When all the little details come together and the doors are finally open, I’m sure I will feel much calmer.” I led them to one of the tables and we all sat down together.
“You will.” Samantha nodded as she sat down across from me.
“Your flight was okay?”
“It was.” Max nodded. “It was much smoother than we expected. It even landed early.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“So, what do you have planned for tonight?”
“Basically, I just want everyone to be comfortable and have the best night. More specifically, I’d like you to talk about anything you choose. I didn’t ask you here to advertise anything for myself. I want you to speak about whatever feels right to you.”
“Okay, I think I can swing that.” Samantha laughed. “Are you sure you don’t have a certain topic you want me to highlight?”
“No, not at all. The goal of this cafe is to gather together. When I thought of the name, Common Grounds, it had very little to do with coffee. What I want to create is a place where women can come—from all walks of life—to regain their strength and find their footing. It’s a place where they can expect support and friendship, without judgment.”
“What a beautiful idea. I know that more than once in my life I could have used a place like this. It’s the perfect name as well.”
“Thanks. Now I just hope the cafe can live up to it.”
“I’m sure it can. The important thing to remember is that there isn’t so much to worry about. You will do well; just relax and enjoy your experience. Otherwise, you’ll look back and wonder how you missed out on all the great times.”
“I hadn’t thought about that. You’re right. I’ve been so caught up in inventory and scheduling that I’ve almost lost sight of the whole point of this.”
“Which is?” Samantha took a sip of her coffee and smiled at me over the rim.
“That I survived—No! That I’m thriving.” Warmth filled my chest as I nodded. “I turned the hardest time of my life into the most liberating experience, and I’m going to continue to keep doing that.”
“Stick to that feeling. Keep it very close to the surface. That’s what’s going to make the difference between this being just another cafe and its being the place you’re hoping it will be.”
“I will. I’ll keep it in mind all night.”
“Oh, I brought you something.” Samantha pulled out a small brightly wrapped present and set it on the table.
Chapter 2
“You’re already giving me such a big gift by being here. What’s this for?” I glanced from Samantha to the present.
“It’s to celebrate your big milestone of entering Onederland!” She grinned at me. “I figured that you might not have anyone else to give you a gift, and you’ve probably been too busy with the cafe to pick something up for yourself. So this is a just little welcome to Onederland surprise.”
“Wow! Samantha, you’re so sweet. I never even thought about getting myself a gift. Well, I guess the cafe is a gift.”
“It is, but this is something to remind you of just how special you are and how valuable all of your dedication and hard work is. You know, getting out of the two hundreds into the one hundreds is great, but it’s not just about the weight. It’s about moving forward in your life. It’s about being ready for a new phase and open to achievements of all kinds.”
“I know what you mean. When I no longer saw that two on the scale, it was like a burden had lifted off me. I felt like I could do anything. I set my mind to meet that goal and achieved it, and it did really inspire me to set even more goals and work just as hard for them.”
“Open it! Open it, please!” Abby kicked her feet and wiggled in her chair.
“Of course. Would you like to help me?” I nudged the present between us.
“Can I, Mom?” Abby looked up at Samantha with wide eyes.
“Sure.”
Samantha grinned.
“Let’s do it, Abby!”
We both tore at the bright paper until a snow globe was revealed. I thought it was a little strange at first.
“Thank you so much. It’s beautiful.”
“See this?” Samantha picked it up and pointed to the single yellow blossom in the middle of the snow globe.
“Yes.”
“That’s you.” She shook the snow globe until all the bits and glitter swirled and blocked the flower from view. “There will always be troubles that arise in our lives, and you can easily get swept up in them. But if you stand your ground and remember your roots, when the storm settles, you will always still be you.” She smiled as the yellow flower reappeared. “Never let anything make you lose sight of your goal, Alex. You’ve come this far. You’ve reached Onederland and that’s quite an accomplishment!”
It truly did feel like I’d stumbled into a wonderland. Not only had I finally seen the numbers on the scale go under two hundred, here I was sitting across from one of the most inspiring women I’d ever known. And I was surrounded by friends and family during one of my biggest accomplishments to date.
Only a year before, I’d been certain that my life was over when the man I’d expected to spend the rest of my life with announced that he wanted a divorce. We agreed to separate for a year, which had then turned into filing for divorce, and our official divorce date was now just around the corner.
With the separation, I’d lost the accounting business I’d built from the ground up with my husband. We sold the house I’d raised my daughter in. I’d ended up with a sense of having no place in the world. It had all combined to create a very difficult emotional state as I quickly closed in on my fortieth birthday.
After the year I’d had, it was almost unbelievable to me that now my heart was filled with excitement and my future seemed wide open for me to enjoy.
After I chatted with Samantha a bit more about how the book signing would go, I walked them to the door and advised them on some nearby attractions to enjoy. The couple walked away with Abby between them.
Then Comes Baby Page 11