by Katie Dowe
“What are you doing?” Cara asked her curiously.
“Drinking tea in memory of our very dear friend.” She went into the cupboard and took out the chamomile pouches and got two cups out. “We are not going to mourn her with sadness because she would not have wanted that. We are going to remember her for the kind and loving and beautiful person she was.”
*****
It was approaching five p.m. when she parked outside the cemetery and made her way towards Jeanette’s grave. She and Marissa had drank tea and chat and reminisced about what had been and then they had gone back over to the center and worked, stopping every so often to remember Jeanette. Matthew had not called her for the entire day but she had been determined not to let it bother her. She had considered calling him at one point during the day and had actually made the call but his secretary Lorna had told her that he was tied up in a meeting and if she wanted her to try and get him. She had told the woman no: it was not important.
She tread carefully because it had rained recently and the dirt was loose around the area. She had brought some flowers from Jeanette’s own garden and she placed them on the grave. The headstone had her name on it and the day she was born to the day she had died and it further read: ‘To a loving Mom, grandmother and a beautiful friend. We love you.”
Had she ever told her that she loved her? Cara wondered feeling the sadness descending on her. She had hugged her and told her thanks so many times but she could not for the life of her remember telling her those three little words. How could she not? She knelt there on the cold concrete in spite of the wetness there not caring if her black dress pants were going to be ruined. It did not matter to her. “I miss you Jeanette and I am here trying to rack my brain, trying to remember if I ever told you I love you. If I had not done so then I hope you realized that I did love you and that I am grateful for the time I had you in my life.
“I am afraid I have gone and done the exact opposite of what you told me to do. I have made my husband very angry with me because I have been neglecting him and also my children. You would have been angry with me too and you would have told me to go and make it right. I intend to do so as soon as I leave here but I just felt the need to come and talk to you first. I wish I could have some indication of whether or not you are somewhere around and you are listening to me but in case you are: I want you to know that you are sorely missed and highly appreciated. The parents brought flowers and the children made cards and put them in one corner of the center, the corner where you always were talking to some teenage mother or another. Your name is going to be called every day for a long time.”
She bowed her head and for the first time since Jeanette died and let tears come.
Chapter 12
She cleared out the house. She told her sister in law that she was going to be cooking for her husband tonight and she needed the privacy. She made sure to spend some time with the children and Jennifer had taken her meal to her suite of rooms with an understanding smile. She was trying one of the recipes she had taken from over at Jeanette’s and Caleb was helping her with the ingredients.
It was the peal of laughter coming from the kitchen that stopped him from going straight upstairs as soon as he took off his jacket. He had seen her car parked out front and knew she was home. He had not called her the entire day and he had felt as his day had been ruined. He hated when they argued and he just want to have it out with her and take her into his arms.
He frowned a little bit as he witnessed the tableau in front of him. She was standing at the counter in her stocking feet and an apron around her slim waist with Caleb beside her rubbing some sort of sauce over what appeared to be lasagna. The smell was divine! He also noticed a peach cobbler cooling on the rack. She looked like a little girl experimenting in the kitchen for the first time.
It was Caleb who first saw him. “Matthew,” he said with a nod.
His wife looked up at him with a pleased smile on her beautiful face. “You are just in time darling. Caleb was just telling me that I did a good job. It is one of Jeanette’s recipes and I think it tastes great! At least Caleb agrees with me.”
“I will leave you to it,” with an amused smile Caleb left the room.
“What are you doing?” he asked her curiously coming into the kitchen.
“Making my husband dinner.” She poured two glasses of wine and handed one to him. “So how was your day?” she put her glass on the counter and stretched up to put her arms around his neck.
He looked down at her quizzically. “It was uneventful. How about yours?”
“We packed Jeanette’s stuff and boxed them and I went to pay her grave a visit.” She kissed him full on the lips before moving out of his arms to go and finish making the salad.
He came over and took a seat on one of the stools watching as she handled the knife deftly. “And how are you?”
She looked up at him and then back down at the lettuce she was chopping. “I cried for the first time since she died and I found myself wishing you were there so I could rest on your shoulders.”
“Why didn’t you call me?” he asked her softly, surprised to hear that she had finally broken down.
Cara put the vegetables she had sliced into the large glass bowl before responding. “I figured I needed to make things right between us and calling you because I was crying on Jeanette’s grave was not the way to do so.”
“We are a team so whatever it is you are facing I should be privy to.” He sipped the wine and looked at her searchingly. “What is all this?”
“I am cooking for my husband as a dutiful and loving wife is supposed to do.” She smiled at him slightly. “I was not dutiful and loving in the last few weeks and this is my way of apologizing and trying to make up for it. Are you ready to eat?”
“Can we talk first?”
“Of course,” she put aside the plates she had taken out and came to sit beside him. “What’s on your mind?”
“You asked me this morning how can I think about sex at a time when you are grieving,” he held up his hand as she was about to say something. “I am completely and irrevocably in love with you and to me you are the sexiest woman the Creator has ever made. It is not just physical, it is spiritual and the desire and love I have for you is not just based on how you look even though it has something to do with it. My heart chose you and I am bound to you for the rest of my life. When we make love it is not just a physical thing, I am tied to your soul and even when we are done I can still feel you, not just minutes after but hours and days after. That is one of the reasons why I could never cheat on you. I will be in pain and I will still want to have sex with you. I get it that you miss Jeanette and regard her as a mother but you are my everything and I want to feel close to you at all times, even when we are fighting. Do you get what I am trying to say to you?”
She slid off the stool and came to stand in front of him and he opened his legs to accommodate her. “I love you and it frightens me sometimes how much I love you. I cannot believe you love me the same way. I have learned to accept that I somehow belong to this life, a life that you have made possible for me. I don’t put stock in all this luxury because you know where I come from but you my darling, my precious husband is another matter. I look at our beautiful children and I see you and I am amazed. I am sorry for allowing my grief to come between us. I still grieve for her-“she swallowed as she felt the tears coming and his arms tightened around her waist. “I will always miss her but you are here and I still have you and my children and I have to be thankful for that.”
He tilted her chin, his eyes taking in her bright dark brown ones with the unshed tears and her slightly parted lips and felt the emotion and the pent up desire coursing through his body. “We will get through it together. Now I would very much like to taste my wife’s delicious cooking.”
Her lips trembled slightly and she wrapped her hands around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder for a little bit. “It’s not going to taste as good as Jeanette’s,
” she murmured.
“I am going to enjoy it because my wife prepared it.” He told her softly.
“Can we just stay like this for a little bit?”
“Of course, for as long as you like.”
She closed her eyes and rested in his arms loving the solidness of his chest and how safe she felt in his arms. His hands holding her around the waist were firm and strong and she realized not for the first time that she did not have to face anything alone.
“Okay let’s eat.” She framed his face with her hands and kissed him softly on the lips. “Thanks.”
“You are welcome.” He murmured, rubbing his hands over her back.
“This is quite good baby,” he told her as he took his first bite. She had set the table and refused his help to do anything. She had plated his and put it before him and then took off her apron and sat to eat right there in the kitchen.
“I think you are required to say that since you are my husband and you are trying to make me feel good,” she told him as she tasted the lasagna. “It is quite good actually. Jeanette would have been proud.”
“I am proud,” he grinned at her as he cleaned his plate. “I don’t remember you actually cooking for me. Maybe breakfast some time ago.”
“You told me that I should not deprive Caleb of his kitchen,” she came around and topped up his glass again with more wine.
“I did,” he looked at her over his glass as he sipped his wine. “And I would not want my woman slaving over a hot stove and being too tired to make love to me.”
“Is that so?” She liked this, the contentment of being alone with him and had actually enjoyed cooking for him. It made them felt like a normal couple. “It feels good to be around like this and not having one of the maids hovering around waiting to serve us.”
“Want us to fire them?” he asked her in amusement.
“No,” she shook her head at him. “I want us to do this at least two weekends in a month. I need to know that I am doing my part as your wife.”
“You are already doing your part,” he drained his glass and put it down onto the table and pushed back his chair. “Wait! We don’t have to do the dishes do we?”
“No we don’t,” she said with a smile allowing him to pull her up and out of the chair. “We will have the peach cobbler upstairs.”
He held her hand as they climbed the steps and after peeping into the children’s rooms they went to their own. He undressed her slowly. She had not changed out of her work clothes yet and he slid the raw red silk blouse from off her shoulders, his touch lingering on her bare arms. It had been so long since he had done something like this that he had started to tremble. Her generous breasts were encased in red lace and looked great against her skin.
“I want it hard and fast,” she told him a little impatiently. “For the second time we can go slow but right now I want you to take me from behind with no thought as to whether or not you are hurting me.”
Her words had the power to unleash the incredible hunger inside him and without a word he lifted her and carried her to the bed where she went on her knees. He pushed up her red and white skirt and passed his hands over the shape of her buttocks, feeling the shiver of her skin. He had unbuckled his belt and pulled down the zipper.
“Now please,” Cara turned her head sideways and their eyes met and held. He reached beneath her and used his fingers to tear the thin material of her stockings. She gasped as he moved aside the silk of her panties and releasing his rigid penis he guided it inside her pushing up into her deep and holding still for a moment, his eyes closed as he felt her tightness surrounding him. She moved forward and then back against him impatient to feel him moving inside her.
With a groan he finally moved and grasping her hips he slammed into her taking her breath away. His teeth clenched and his body tightened as he thrust inside her over and over again feeling the swirl of emotions grabbing both of them. He almost exploded right then but with a supreme effort of will power he held back pulling out of her a little bit before pushing back in, the wetness of her vagina grabbing hold of him.
Cara was starting to get incoherent with the intensity of the desire pummeling her body. Her fingers gripped the sheets and her lips parted as her breath escaped her in pants. Her body felt like one big nerve ending. Like she was about to erupt into tiny pieces any minute now.
He pulled out of her suddenly only to rub his penis wet with her juice over her buttocks before putting it back in. He reached beneath her to finger her mound as he increased the pace. She screamed. The sound escaping her lips as she lost control of her emotions. Her fingers dug into the sheets frantically as he rubbed his finger over her mound relentlessly, his member burgeoning inside her doubling up on the incredible intense heat passing through them.
“Please Matthew!” she was sobbing and begging him for release, her body bucking against his as he continued to give her a pleasure that she had only known from him. “I can’t,” she babbled feeling helpless under the onslaught of emotions. Her body was spinning out of control.
He pushed her gently onto her stomach and pulled out of her and she almost screamed in frustration. But he was turning her around where he lifted her legs and entered her again coming down to take her lips with his in a kiss that stole her ability to breathe.
Her hands crept up and she tore away the buttons from his shirt impatient to feel his skin beneath her fingers. He lifted his head and quickly pulled the white undershirt from him allowing her free rein to him. Her fingers scrambled over his taut chest, touching him and savoring the way he felt before bringing her hands to wrap around his neck, bringing her mouth down to hers and her legs around his waist.
He reached beneath her hips and lifted her for the final release that they both felt coming, the wave washing over them like a stormy sea determined to carry them along with it. He tore his mouth away from hers and his body stiffened on top of hers, his penis rigid inside her before he spilled into her helplessly, his body trembling and spinning out of control, his cries hoarse and aching as he gathered her close to him and filled her up with his semen. She came behind him, her hands tight around his neck as she called out his name over and over again until she buried her face into his chest, her body trembling uncontrollably.
*****
Janet found herself walking around in the large house straightening this and touching that. She had come home from work and had made herself a cup of tea and had sat on the front porch to drink it. It was nice out with the wind just a little bit chilly and the scent of begonias filling the air. She had dug around the flower beds and had made sure to water the vegetables around the back. The tomatoes were ripening and the lettuce leaves looked healthy enough but she was going to ask Mr. Jones next door to come and have a look at them. She had picked some rosemary and basil to use in the kitchen and had put some to dry the way she had seen Jeanette done.
She had even picked some apples off the tree and had tried her hands at making an apple pie, sprinkling cinnamon on top when she took it out of the over. It had come out surprisingly well and she had already eaten several slices and was planning to share the rest with the women at the center.
Her mother had started talking to her again but she held her aloof remembering how she had not been there for her when she had needed her. Jeanette and the other women at the center had been and she would never forget that.
She felt a sense of peace and contentment as she sat there looking over at the flowers blooming in the garden. There was a pair of squirrels scrambling up an oak tree in front of the yard and she could hear birds chirping overhead. She finally belonged somewhere and had something of her own and she could not be happier.
*****
They finally got undressed completely and ate the peach cobbler feeding each other from the only spoon they had brought up with them. “You made this?” he was leaning back against the pillows and she was resting back against his chest.
“Sort of,” she turned her head to look up at him wi
th a twinkle in her brown eyes.
“What does that mean?” he touched the tip of her nose with one finger.
“It means that I gave Caleb the recipe which of course he already had one of his own but I still gave him Jeanette’s and he whipped it up for me and put it into the oven.” She captured the finger he was using to wipe the side of her mouth and bit down gently sucking on it.
“Baby,” he whispered against her ear. They had barely recovered from the intense and feverishly hot lovemaking that had ended half an hour again and now he felt the desire stirring in his loins again. He was never going to get enough of her.
“I want to sit on it.” She had felt him stirring against her. “As soon as I put some of the sauce over the tip of it and spend some time licking it off.”
He felt his heart shift into high gear and was afraid he was going to have a heart attack. She moved away and turned around sliding down on her elbows before him. She scraped the sauce out of the pie tin and rubbed it liberally over the reddened tip of his penis slowly looking up at him to see his reaction. His green eyes had darkened and she could see his chest heaving with the effort he was taking to breathe. Her head dipped over him and she started licking him leisurely taking her time to go over every inch of the curved top of his penis, using her tongue to slide into the slit at the top.
Matthew felt as if the top of his head was about to explode. She took him deeper in, one hand going to the base of his penis and pressing down on his testicles gently. He groaned, his hands balling into fists on the sheets as he fought to control his body. He almost wept as she lifted her head and released him but she sat up swiftly and climb over him, using one hand to guide his rigid penis inside her and sinking down on him. He pushed up into her and held her knees steady as she bounced on him. With a hoarse cry he bent and took her nipple inside his mouth!
She had fallen into an exhausted sleep sprawled on her stomach. Her hair was tangled and fanned out over the white cotton sheets in heavy waves. They had more than made up for the lack of sex over the past few weeks. She had been insatiable and even when they had collapsed wearily against each other in a few minutes she had been up again, using her mouth all over his body. He had opened her legs and gone down on her, thrusting his tongue inside her lazily until she had erupted against him. He pushed back the hair from her face gently, using the tip of his finger to touch the short hairs running down her cheek.