“Dinner’s being catered by the Blue Door,” Marty told her. “It’s one of the best restaurants in town. And dessert is coming from La Patisserie, that incredible bakery I took you to last time you were here. I special-ordered a Bouche de Noel for us.”
“That sounds great,” Jessica said, wondering why she couldn’t feel more enthusiastic. The Bouche de Noel was a fantastic chocolate cake that looked like a tree log and was a holiday tradition in France. Jessica knew all about them because Molly made one every year for the family.
Beyond those special touches, though, there wasn’t much to indicate the holiday. Marty had no other guests coming besides Jessica and the boys. It promised to be a quiet evening.
Driving there, Jessica had thought that was exactly what she wanted. But now that she was here, she wasn’t so sure. What had she done? What was Sam thinking right now? He had called on her cell phone, she knew, but hadn’t left a message.
“Sam called,” Marty said suddenly, as if reading her mind. “He said to tell you to call when you arrived and let him know you got here safely. His relative in the hospital? He said things looked grim, but they’re much better. Isn’t that great?”
Jessica nodded, not knowing how to respond.
So Sam had figured it out. He was probably furious. But what was that bit about his relative—sarcasm or some kind of coded message?
Jessica considered calling Sam’s cell, to let him know they were all right, then got distracted by Marty’s flow of conversation.
“. . . the bathrooms and kitchen were a disaster, but the property was exactly what we wanted, and there was plenty of room to expand. . . .”
“It’s really very lovely,” Jessica said.
Classical music played softly on a sound system. The decor was sleek and modern, the couches and rugs in tones of gray and pale blue. The fireplace, edged by a gray marble mantel, was lit but seemed to provide little warmth. Jessica’s eye was drawn to the tree. All the decorations were white and gold—long gold ribbons and white and gold ornaments, with a golden star on top and small white lights tucked in the branches. It was all incredibly tasteful, but it made Jessica miss her own family’s tree, the one they put up before the fire, with its colorful mix of ornaments, each one unique and with a story to tell. Even the tree in the cabin with Tyler’s paper snowflakes seemed more personal—and somehow more genuinely festive—than this one.
Marty’s husband, Kevin, walked in with a tray of drinks and another dish of hors d’oeuvres. “Here you go, ladies. Teresa said dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes.”
Teresa was their housekeeper, Jessica had already learned. She wondered if the woman would stay the whole night or be allowed to go home to her own family.
Marty and Kevin launched into an animated conversation. Jessica was content to listen as they reported on the progress of their two children, various trips to New York and Boston, and interesting vacations. She had very little news of her own to report—little that was good and even less that she wanted to share.
“We’ll probably do some skiing in Vermont this week,” Marty told her. “Kevin wanted to go to Utah, but we didn’t plan in time. As usual.” She made a face.
“Still working at the bank, Jess?” Kevin asked. He was a financial advisor; at least they had that subject in common.
Jessica nodded and sipped her wine. “I took some time off, but just went back again.”
“Full time? I don’t know how you do it,” Marty said enviously. “I can hardly do my volunteer work once a week. I’m just not that organized. I think of going back to work somewhere, but I can’t figure out what I’d like to do.”
Kevin wore an amused expression and shook his head.
Jessica did her best to smile, too, but she was keenly aware of the differences between them. She couldn’t imagine that Marty was considering returning to work because her family needed a second income. She couldn’t imagine Marty going back to work at all.
While it was pleasant to catch up with Marty and Kevin, and their house was the complete opposite of the dank little cabin, Jessica knew in her heart it just didn’t feel like Christmas here. It had been nice of Marty to invite her, but the truth was, they weren’t that close and Jessica didn’t feel as if she belonged here. Not without Sam. Not tonight, of all nights.
The doorbell rang. She wondered if other guests were expected after all. Maybe it was just a neighbor, stopping by to wish the Grahams a good holiday?
“I’d better get it,” Kevin said. “I think Teresa has her hands full in the kitchen right now.”
“It’s a shame you can’t stay a few days, Jess,” Marty said as her husband left the room. “The beach is beautiful this time of year. No tourists and some great bargains in the shops.”
“I love the beach in winter,” Jessica said honestly. “But we really can’t stay.”
She didn’t bother to add they had a beautiful beach right in Cape Light or that she probably shouldn’t have come here in the first place. She wished desperately that she and the boys were home with Sam, even if home was the shabby little cabin.
Then Jessica heard voices coming from the foyer. A man’s voice, deep and unmistakable. It was Sam. He had followed her here.
Her hand trembled as she put her glass down on the coffee table. She wanted nothing more than to run into Sam’s arms. The question was, what did Sam want? He couldn’t be happy about her taking off with the boys on Christmas Eve. She would have to get him outside quickly so that they didn’t end up arguing in front of the Grahams.
“Look who’s here,” she heard Kevin announce in a jolly voice. He stood aside as Sam walked into the living room.
Marty’s eyebrows arched. “Sam! What a nice surprise.”
“Yes . . . it is a surprise.” Jessica quickly rose. She felt a lump in her throat the size of a golf ball.
“Hello, Jess.” Sam met her gaze and held it. “I’m glad you got here safely.”
“There wasn’t much traffic.”
“I noticed that, too.”
He must have broken every speed limit to get here so quickly, she thought, traffic or not. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking at all. All she knew was that he looked very handsome, dressed in a black sweater that had a half zipper with a blue shirt underneath.
“Where are the boys?” he asked.
“They’re in the media room with our kids.” Marty smiled and stuck out her hand. “Nice to see you, Sam. Merry Christmas. So glad you came.”
“Merry Christmas, Marty. Thanks for inviting us.” Sam smiled politely, then gazed around the room. “This is a beautiful house. Really . . . spectacular.”
Jessica knew the architecture wasn’t at all to his taste, but Sam, as usual, was being kind. The Grahams were obviously so proud of their home.
“Have a seat,” Kevin said. “Let me get you a glass of wine.”
Sam didn’t much like wine. He preferred beer, Jessica knew.
“I’m okay for now, thank you. I’d like to talk to you for a minute, Jess. Outside?” He glanced at Marty. “I have a surprise for the boys in the car. I just want to show Jessica.”
Her friends nodded in agreement.
Oh dear, here it was. Jessica met his gaze again. At least he had the decency to avoid embarrassing her.
She managed to smile at the Grahams. “We’ll be right back.”
She followed Sam back to the foyer, grabbed her jacket from the front hall closet, and slipped it on. Sam held the door for her and let her go out first.
She set off quickly down the long path to the driveway, trying to get a good distance from the house. She didn’t want Marty and her husband to hear the shouting match that was sure to follow.
“Where you going, Jess? Trying to walk back to Cape Light?”
She turned and crossed her arms over her chest. “Go ahead. I know you’re angry at me, Sam. Let’s get this over with.”
“I was angry with you,” Sam admitted. “But I had three hours in the car
to think about it.”
“More like two. You must have been driving like a maniac.”
Sam shrugged and she saw a glint of amusement in his eyes. “Well, I am crazy for you, but you already know that. That’s not what I came here to tell you.”
“Why did you come?” she asked, allowing herself a glimmer of hope. Maybe things between them weren’t quite as terrible as she had thought.
“I don’t want us to fight, Jess.” Sam held up his hands, as if surrendering. “I know it’s been tough, losing the house, losing all our things and not knowing where we’re going to end up. But please, let’s not fight and pull apart like this.”
Jessica saw the pain in his eyes. She wanted to hold him and tell him their problems were over, that everything was fine. Except that everything wasn’t fine. She had to be honest. Things would never be good between them if she hid her feelings now.
“I don’t want to fight with you either, Sam. . . . It’s just that I don’t think you really understand how I feel about things. I mean, you wanted to be at Molly’s tonight, and I understand that. But I couldn’t bear the idea—I felt as if everyone would be pitying us. I can’t feel the same way you do, Sam. I just don’t.”
“I know,” he said simply. He ran a hand through his dark hair. “You’ve got a right to your feelings, and I need to stop assuming you’ll see things my way. But I wasn’t trying to—what did you call it?—steamroll you. I just wanted things to be better. Instead, I feel as if I’ve failed you, Jessica, like you’ve lost your respect for me.”
She stared at him, shocked. “Why would you think that? I don’t feel that way at all. But I have felt like some sort of bitter, bossy wife who’s always reprimanding you and trying to be the practical one,” she admitted. “I don’t want it to be that way, Sam. I’m just worried. I’m scared.”
He nodded. “I am, too. But I would feel a lot better if we could be together in this. You can’t just run up to Cape Cod and forget that we’re a family—first, last, and always. We have to be together on Christmas. It’s even more important for us this year,” he said, echoing Reverend Ben’s sentiment. “What are we teaching our kids by running away, falling apart? What does that say to them? Bad things are always going to happen, honey. That’s part of life. We have to handle this and show the kids things can get better. I know they can if we stick together and work on it.”
He took hold of her shoulders and gazed down into her eyes. She didn’t say anything for a long time. Her thoughts were whirling, and she wanted to choose the right words. She needed to be honest, and she wanted to find a way for them to stop hurting each other.
“I’m sorry, Sam,” she said at last. “I could have handled some of this better, I guess. Maybe I was trying to hurt you by running up here,” she admitted. “Because I was so disappointed by everything. But I shouldn’t have run out. You’ve been hurt by all this, too, and it’s not your fault if things haven’t worked out as we both hoped. I know you only meant well, saying you could fix the house again.”
Her words gave him hope. He felt his heart opening up to her again. “We’ll get a new house, and it will be just as beautiful as the old one,” he said. “It doesn’t matter where or how. You have to have faith in me, Jess. You have to trust me again. We have to trust each other and stick together, not snipe at each other.” He paused and took a ragged breath. “We can’t let the fire destroy our marriage, too. We have so much, Jessica, so much the fire could never touch. Do you see that now? I do,” he promised her.
Jessica nodded, her eyes glassy with tears. “I do,” she said, and it almost felt like a new marriage vow. Still, she had to explain, to make him understand. “I—I wanted things to stay the same, to go back to just the way they were before the fire. But I see now that they’ll never be the same. Even if we could rebuild the house exactly, we’re changed inside now, forever. So we’ll have something new—just as good, but different. I know I’ve been hard to be around. But I don’t want to lose you, Sam.”
“Oh, honey.” He hugged her close. “You couldn’t lose me if you tried.” He grinned at her. “Actually, you tried tonight. You didn’t get very far, did you?”
Jessica finally smiled again. He kissed her and hugged her close. When they parted, he knew they had finally made it out alive, and he sent up a silent prayer of thanks.
“Let’s get the boys. We could be home by nine thirty.”
She glanced at him, and he was sure she was going to insist that they do the polite thing and stay and have dinner with the Grahams.
“Okay. I’ll make some excuse to Marty,” she said instead.
“My sick relative again?”
“No, I need something better.”
“The dog is home alone. I decided not to put her in the crate.”
Jessica grinned. “That will do it. She might chew up all the Christmas gifts, you know.”
“Let’s hope not,” Sam said. Sunny had better not eat those earrings, he thought. He didn’t feel like visiting the twenty-four-hour vet clinic again.
The Grahams were puzzled when Jessica and Sam announced their need to depart. Jessica hugged Marty and thanked her again. “I’ll call you soon and we’ll have a good talk,” she promised.
She hoped that sometime in the future she could explain to Marty what had happened, but she wasn’t quite sure when that would be. Perhaps when it didn’t seem so embarrassing.
Since they had two cars, Darrell rode with Jessica, and Tyler rode with Sam. The boys also seemed puzzled about the change in plans but happy to be going back to the cabin, Jessica noticed. Despite the flat screen TV, they hadn’t really been happy to be at Marty’s house, away from their dad on the holiday. Fortunately, things had been set right again, just in the nick of time, she realized. They really had to be together for Christmas. What in the world had she been thinking?
A few hours later, they all arrived at the cabin. Jessica made hot cocoa and sandwiches for everyone while Sam built a fire in the wood-burning stove. They all sat together by the Christmas tree, with the boys trying to guess what was in the wrapped boxes, and Sunny contentedly curled up between them.
Jessica found that she, too, was content. More than that, she was genuinely happy to be back in the cabin. Though she had always thought it small and dreary, tonight it didn’t seem that way at all.
At least her impulsive trek to the Cape had caused her and Sam to clear the air and come closer again. That was a surprise and true gift from the universe, she realized.
Jessica had brought a few of the boys’ packages to the Cape, to give them something to open. After they went to bed, she retrieved the boxes and added them to the others under the tree. Sam sat nearby, watching her.
“Sunny was a good dog,” he said. “She didn’t eat any of the presents, I don’t think.”
Jessica checked the boxes. “You’re right. They’re fine.”
She turned to Sam, and he held out a small gift bag to her. “How about this one? I think the ribbon’s been gnawed a little. Want to check it?”
She took the bag from him. “Sam . . . what did you do?”
“Open it and see,” he suggested.
She sat next to him on the couch and opened the bag, then took out the small velvet box that sat atop a nest of tissue paper. She clicked open the box to see the beautiful pearl and diamond earrings she had admired at the jewelry store.
She looked up at her husband. “You didn’t have to do this,” she said quietly. “But they are beautiful.”
“Does that mean you’re not mad at me for buying them?” he asked cautiously.
She felt her eyes fill with tears. “I love you so much, Sam. You’re so sweet to me, and I’ve been so awful. . . . How can you give me this beautiful gift? How can you still want to be married to me?”
Sam practically laughed out loud at her question. He took her in his arms and held her close. “I love you and the boys more than anything in the world. Don’t you know that by now? I’ve made mistakes; I’ve
been difficult, too. But I love you, Jess. Maybe that makes most of it all right?”
“It makes everything all right,” she agreed.
Sam gazed down at her, looking deeply satisfied by her answer. “There’s something else in that bag. Under the tissue paper,” he said.
Jessica realized the bag did still feel heavy. She reached down and pulled out a small tissue-wrapped bundle.
“Oh,” she breathed as she unwrapped it. She couldn’t quite believe her eyes. “One of the angels . . .” She picked up the carved wooden figure and turned it around in her hands. “Did you find this in the house? I thought for sure they were all burned to ashes.”
“This one is new, Jess. I finished it just in time. I’m going to make you a whole new set just like the ones you lost. Well, not exactly like the old ones, but they’ll be just as nice,” he promised.
“They’ll be beautiful.” She set down the single angel on the little table by the couch, where they both could see it. “They’ll be even better.”
She turned to him and pulled him close. When he put his arms around her and they kissed, she felt their life was finally starting to get back on track. Finally starting over, in a new direction. Different, but maybe even better.
“JACK! JACK . . . WAKE UP! QUICK! COME AND SEE!”
Jack opened his eyes with a start. He thought there was an emergency, a fire maybe. The room was practically dark, though he could see the first glow of light under the edge of the shades in his bedroom window.
Kate jumped up and down at the side of his bed, doing an excited little dance. Before he could ask what all the shouting was about, she darted right out again.
Then he remembered. It was Christmas.
She had seen the gifts under the tree and knew Santa had come.
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