by Lucie Blake
My body guard was never far away and made certain that all was protected by me personally, while guards at the front gate protected all else.
He was smiling when he entered the room. I loved to see Shaun smile; it gave me peace beyond measure that someone was in my corner unconditionally. I hoped to one day return his love just as passionately. I knew that I came across as cold and detached sometimes, but after so many years of putting on a mask I found it difficult to take it off.
He decided to embellish on Camilla’s instructions for intimacy and drew me a bath with rose petals after he dismissed the maid for the night. Sitting on my bed in my robe, I felt the nervousness bubbling in my chest at having to perform an exercise that should be normal for any adult human.
The room was dark except for the soft glow that the candles gave. He evidently had done his own research and had added some aromatherapy oils to small oil burners around the room. He sat down on the bed next to me, our feet both dangling inches above the plush carpet, and held my hand. My eyes rose to meet his gaze and we both breathed deeply. He searched the windows to my soul and I searched his. His face bore no smile, only concern and patience as he sought to tie my spirit to his.
I stared back and it wasn’t easy. Holding someone in a gaze meant all your vulnerabilities were exposed and raw. I didn’t like it. I was tarnished and soiled from my experiences. I wasn’t a person. I was an inanimate object to be used at a man’s will and I no longer knew what it was to love. He softened his features and smiled at me and I felt the warmth growing. It was the smile of a man who wanted a woman in every way.
The next step was the untying of the robe and I decided to go first. Slowly like water, I allowed the fabric to pour through my fingers and I was sensitized by the smoothness against my finger tips. As it fell a small puff of air filled it and it billowed around his waist. Raising my manicured fingers to his face, I gently stroked his jaw line and it flexed in reaction. His neck was soft and smooth, but the veins were more prominent than I remembered. Shaun’s chest always fascinated me and his pecks were now the object of my attention. Gooseflesh formed on the tight muscles as I spread my palm over his beating heart. The nipples stood out and I wanted to kiss them but refrained.
His chest heaved up and down in anticipation of what “should” happen next. I was forever cognizant of Camilla’s rules not to have sex.
His turn to caress my skin was like butter melting in a hot pan. Slowly he used his fore and middle finger to move my hair from my face and trace my ears. As he cupped my jaw I closed my eyes and leaned into him, wanting to feel his warmth. He spawned my neck with his whole hand and I tossed back my head to give him full access. I could feel the passion in his loose grip and the hesitation in moving on to my chest.
As his fingers approached my nipple I exhaled a breath I didn’t know I was holding. He didn’t gratify me with touching it; instead, he circled the areola and traced the circle around the dark flesh. Finally he let his hand barely touch the over sensitive peak and my body responded. The climax was like no other and I searched his eyes yet again as my body was washed with pleasure and wanting. Wanting his hands to go further, wanting him to take me in his arms. Wanting him to make love to me.
He knew the face I made when I had an orgasm, it was rare and always appreciated by him. As I stretched out my hand to touch the patch of hair hiding his manhood the phone in my purse rang.
We were both startled from our Tantric sex and no one moved at first. The phone rang out and we decided to ignore it until it started to ring again. This time I was the one who moved and answered in annoyance. The voice that responded was rough and raspy and awfully familiar.
“Akemi, it’s so nice to hear your voice again. I’ve dreamed of you all these years. That tight wet pussy kept me company on so many nights… if only you knew….”
“Who the fuck is this? What do you want?”
“Oh Akemi, what I want is not an issue. It’s what I’m going to get that should be your concern. Did you like my poem? It was specially for you and your baby… remember?”
“What the hell are you talking about? I don’t have any children. You have the wrong number….”
Shaun snatched the phone with a force that almost damaged my ear.
“Who the hell is this and what the fuck do you want?”
“Shaun, how sweet to hear you too. I see you are still the valiant prince charming. How’s business?”
“Listen man, I don’t know who you are or what the fuck you want with my wife, but if I were you I would piss off!”
And with that he ended the call. His face turned from anger to concern as he came to hug me and ask if I was alright. I considered myself pretty strong, but the poem coupled with this had shaken me quite a bit. My sobs were not making it out of my throat and I was choking on my own saliva.
“I’m fine Shaun. Who would do this? Aren’t the people from my past in jail? My number isn’t the easiest to get hold of! Who would do this?!”
He clutched me tightly to his chest and rocked me like a child.
“I will figure it out. I knew that you didn’t like Boris but now you see how important a body guard is? You are protected at all times honey, I won’t let anything happen to you.”
I don’t remember falling to sleep, but morning definitely came too quickly. The first few seconds of waking up is a luxury to those who have burdens; it’s that small window where you think all is well with the world and then reality strikes. All the bad memories of the day before come flooding back. As I washed the grit from my eyes, I thought, “Akemi, be prepared, some demons are coming your way.” If it wasn’t breakfast with my sister I would have crawled back in bed and died.
Chapter 4
The skirt was too short and the blouse too tight. This was my first thought as Mae turned the corner to join me. Today was sunny and I opted for a floral strapless sun dress and sandals instead of a business suit. I was wearing the largest and darkest sunglasses I owned. Eyes puffy from last night’s tears and my head hurting from too many thoughts, I wanted to be as peaceful as possible today, but my sister’s bright outfit was a new shock to my senses.
It was only because she was my sister that the was allowed in places like this. We were at the AK hotel having breakfast in Joe’s Restaurant. The little eatery was upscale but very trendy and the dishes were divine. Mae’s selections from the color palette caused stares from everyone, but as usual, she was in her own world and didn’t notice. Recently she had taken to Boris, who showed neither malice nor pleasure from her unsolicited attention.
She wasn’t the loud type; she operated more like a snake in the grass. Often appearing innocent to people she didn’t know; Mae was one to be watched.
I loved her though, and made sure she never suffered in life. She was on staff at my organization, but the title was only for show as she never actually came in to work. This wasn’t a problem to me; I could afford it. As time went by, Shaun too picked up on her slickness and was aware of her every move when she visited our home.
After she greeted Boris with a rub of his chest, she kissed me on each cheek and sat down.
“Sis, how are you? And where is your business suit? It’s not often I see you dressed like this.”
“I’ve taken the day off Mae. Speaking of clothes, what the hell are you wearing?”
“Don’t you love it? It’s a new designer that I’m trying! She’s just out of College. This is her newest summer line, ‘Splash of Color’. I can order you a skirt just like mine if you want!”
“No thank you Mae, Dior and Chanel suit me just fine.”
The waiter came over to take our orders and I decided to stick with orange juice and scrambled egg whites, my stomach not in the mood for too many things today. Mae, on the other hand, decided on a tasting menu and had quite a few things from the Chef’s kitchen. It was a good thing I had money because I was certain I would be footing the bill.
She chatted quietly as she ate, never once asking me a
bout what was happening in my life. It was my silence that finally alerted her that I wasn’t listening.
“What’s wrong with you sis? Are you not feeling well?”
“Physically, I’m ok, but otherwise I’m a bit shaky.”
“Is that sexy husband of your cheating on you?”
She liked Shaun and sometimes I thought she wished to have him for herself. It was a thought I never entertained for too long.
“No, he’s not. He would never do that. It’s just that I’ve gotten these phone calls…”
And I recounted the story of yesterday’s events. She looked surprised and asked the same question I did.
“Who would want to hurt you, Akemi? Aren’t the bad guys in jail?”
“I’m just as lost as you Mae. I have no idea. Shaun is checking out who may be out and I have Boris here to keep the peace with his piece.”
“Well keep me informed. Maybe I should get a bodyguard too…or maybe a gun!”
The conversation went cold as we were considering all that was happening; it seems that peace was never with us too long.
The week was uneventful and I wasn’t certain if I was happy with it or not. I wanted something to happen. I wanted to know who was stalking me and what they needed from me. Waiting was never one of my strong suits.
Shaun and I tried many times that week to continue with the intimacy exercise, but every time it got heated I would remember the phone call and go cold. The aromatherapy and soft music didn’t help and daily I could feel Shaun growing more and more frustrated with his now frigid wife. As Sunday approached, I feared that I was failing at my marriage and that I was the opposite of King Midas; everything I touched didn’t turn to gold…. it was destroyed.
Shaun never came home from work early like he promised for Sunday’s session, and instead I was forced to go alone. The Chauffeur and Boris never asked any questions, but like me, I’m sure they wondered where he was.
Camilla was her usual bubbly self, not letting the fact that Shaun was absent detract from our session.
“I see you are alone today. May I call you Akemi as it’s just us girls?”
“Certainly Camilla its not a problem.”
“Tell me what happened with your intimacy exercise this week… positive results?”
I told her the truth. What was the sense of going to therapy if you were going to lie? I was rich, but I wasn’t going to waste my money. Only the first session was free.
“So now ever since that night I can’t seem to get comfortable. It’s playing with my mind. Do you know how many rich men I fucked in my former life? Do you know how many families were torn apart when I exposed the truth about StarLink? It could be anybody. But now worst of all I can’t even pretend to screw my husband anymore. It’s killing me.”
”Hummm,” she said pensively, “well this is a perfect time to talk about your inner fears and demons. Many times things happening on the outside are a reflection of trauma on the inside. Have you ‘faced’ yourself recently?”
I was lost. I had no clue what sexual demons I had that could impact this situation, but then again, I was a poor Asian girl who was bought and traded with others just like the stock market. I wasn’t the one with the PHD.
“You have to explain yourself Camilla, I’m lost.”
“When last did you lay down and touch yourself, get familiar with your body and by extension your mind?”
I didn’t have an answer to that and she knew it.
“Since your husband isn’t here today we will do a one on one session with a female assistant if that’s fine with you.”
“Ok. We can do that.”
“Come with me.”
Chapter 5
The room she took me to was small, so small I could almost touch the sides if I stood with my hands outstretched. It was wall to wall mirrors with a long, narrow bed in the middle. When the door was closed, I could see myself from every angle and it was very disconcerting. I didn’t like to see myself so up close and personal. It would take getting used to.
Through the same invisible door appeared the model from the previous session. She was 100% naked and seemed very comfortable with this.
“Hi,” she said with a grin that overtook her whole face.
I too smiled, but not as enthusiastically as her.
“I’m not going to touch you, but you will do everything I do in the same order, do you understand? ”
I nodded in agreement and she continued.
“The first thing you have to do is disrobe slowly. Focus on your eyes and follow your hands in the mirror. It must be done slowly as though you are seducing yourself.”
“Okayyyyyyy,” was my response, and I decided I didn’t like this exercise one bit. But I had already agreed to this thing so I would have to follow through.
I was wearing only a skirt and blouse. My jacket was in Camilla’s office. I focused on my eyes as I had done with Shaun and slowly undid my buttons. The assistant guided me by saying to take note of my senses - specifically touch and sensations.
The blouse was made of 100% Sea Island cotton and finished with pearl buttons. I allowed my fingers to glide over their smoothness and traced their outline as I went. Gliding my hands over the delicate cotton, I made note of the sensation of the tiny bums and ridges that made up the natural fabric. I closed my eyes to take in the sensations and a feeling of immense relaxation over took me. The blouse landed in a heap on the floor as it fell while I made note of my torso and the rise and fall of my breasts. The skirt was of a stretchy fabric and had no buttons or zips. I followed the curve of my hips with my palms and tried to envision myself as a whole woman. Linking my thumbs in the waist band I slowly slid it off my hips and stepped out of it. I stood almost naked before myself and smiled at my own reflection.
The thong was made of a nude mesh and was transparent enough to reveal my mound which was kept free of hair. I massaged the protruding fatty bulge with my hands, squeezing and releasing it as I went. I slid the thong down past my thighs and to my knees and finally I detached it from my ankles and red soles.
The bra; also nude in color, added to my almost naked effect and I resisted the temptation to take it off in a hurry. Instead, I traced the boundary between bra and skin and marveled at how it caressed me. I removed the straps before finally unhooking it at the back.
I was now bare and exposed and it felt like the first time I was seeing Akemi. I turned to the girl who was now studying my body intently. Her smile was gone and her eyes now hooded with desire. She didn’t break the rules; she never touched me.
Her next instruction was simple: “follow me.”
Laying back on the bed, she propped on a pillow that I assumed was specifically designed for this situation. Cut like a wedge it supported the neck and back, allowing the user to be in a semi-seated position. She lay with her legs open as wide as possible and focused on the mirror. I too sat and imitated her position, waiting for her next move.
She started with her neck, passing both her hands slowly over her clavicle and rubbing her chest. She moved on to her areola after a few seconds and traced the circle that was there. I too traced my areola and made note of how my nipples peaked in response. She pinched her nipples with pressure and moaned at the feeling. My nipples were sensitive and squeezing them had an automatic reaction of moisture between my legs.
She was onto her stomach now, rubbing the smooth skin and sighing at the pleasure it was giving her. She too had a mound to take notice of but her clit was larger than mine and it was obvious that she too was stimulated as it protruded from its hiding place. She never touched it, but instead rubbed her inner thighs and the outer edge of her swollen lips.
I too did this and could feel the blood rushing to the areas that I touched. It seemed like forever before she rubbed her clit and I was growing wetter and wetter in anticipation of seeing her do it. When she finally did, her entire body shuddered and she could no longer keep focus in the mirror. Watching a woman touch herself was
more erotic than I would have thought. Even if I didn’t want to, I had no choice but to rub my clit to release the tension building in my pelvis.
With three fingers she spread the lips of her pussy and introduced them to her wet waiting passage. Her oil was flowing in abundance and every time she withdrew her fingers they glistened in the light. I wanted to touch her, but I knew it was against the rules, so instead, I too fingered myself, bringing my body to a pleasure peak.
She was moving faster now; one hand on her clit and three fingers inside her, she worked to bring herself release. Tiny moans escaped my lips as I too followed suit. Soon the room was filled with noises of pleasure and wetness along with scents of sex as two women who didn’t know each other, reached a climax simultaneously.
The moist fingers, glistening skin and heaving chests were obviously the signs of self satisfaction that Camilla was looking for, and she entered the room clapping like she had witnessed a show on Broadway.
I felt a feeling of pride. I knew now in my heart that I wasn’t frigid, just hesitant to know myself as a sexual being, but this was about to change. I was worthy of love and worthy of pleasures that were so priceless money could not buy them. Today was a productive day.
I was in a daze as Camilla set my next appointment and issued instructions for me to do this same performance for Shaun. I left her office smiling and feeling like the world was my oyster and I, the rare pearl inside it.
Chapter 6
Shaun never came home and by 1 am I was worried more than ever. Calls to his cellphone were met by voice mail and his office phone went unanswered. His bodyguard was also mysteriously unavailable. I had just decided to dress and call my chauffeur when my cell rang. An unfamiliar number let me know that it was not going to be a pleasant call.
“Akemi, what a shame to be alone on a nice night like this… still not being able to fuck your husband like you fucked me?”