“No, he meant she was getting the feels,” I said.
“Was that so bad? Someone actually wanting you for more than sex?” Ivy demanded.
Braeden frowned. “No.”
Then he looked over at Ivy. “I said we were just having fun. I was upfront about it. I never promised her more than that. Then I started getting the feels from her. I didn’t want to hurt her, so I walked away.”
“Dropping someone so abruptly is kind of wrong,” Rimmel said.
Ivy snorted. “She’s being nice. You acted like a dick.”
Braeden’s eyes flickered with anger. “No. A dick would have been someone who let her think I was interested, toyed with her feelings, and then dropped her.”
Rimmel tensed against me. I didn’t think she’d ever seen Braeden angry. He had a temper. He wasn’t all cool like me.
“Dude,” I said, throwing some ice on his heat. “You did the right thing.”
“I’m going to shower,” Ivy said. She picked up her stuff and was gone seconds later.
I couldn’t help but wonder if anyone was lurking in the bathroom like some creep, waiting to watch her.
“Chicks.” Braeden sighed when Ivy was gone.
“I’m a chick,” Rimmel said.
“Nah, you’re different.” Braeden grinned.
“So what did my mom want?” I asked.
She looked up at me. “She wanted to see the shelter, wanted to know more about it. She’s offered to put together a fundraiser to help us.”
“I knew she’d come around.” I patted her leg.
“Yeah.” She agreed, but her voice was off and she seemed a lot less thrilled about my mother’s sudden acceptance.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing.” She was a terrible liar.
I was about to make her tell me when Braeden interrupted. “Rome tell you the good news yet?”
“What news?” She looked between us.
“Zach was served. He can’t come near you now,” I said. Why did it not seem like such a great thing anymore?
“He got thrown out of Omega too,” Braeden said. “We had front row seats.”
Rimmel glanced at me and I nodded. “He’s done.”
“Well, I can’t say I’m sorry,” she said, leaning into me.
Braeden snorted. “Fucker deserved it.”
Silently, I agreed.
“Hey, man, give us a minute?” I asked.
He nodded and dropped his feet off the bed. “Of course. I saw some fine-looking ladies in the hall.”
Rimmel laughed.
“Hey.” He looked at her. “How come you aren’t pissed at me about Missy? You two still friends?”
“Yeah, we are.” She nodded. “I guess I kind of think you did the right thing.”
Braeden smiled. “Yeah?”
“Better to end it now before her feelings really got hurt.”
He nodded. “Missy is a cool girl. But I don’t do relationships.”
“People change,” I told him, thinking of a time not that long ago when I felt the very same way.
“Nah. You two are just freaks,” Braeden cracked. Then he reached out and ruffled Rimmel’s already messy hair.
“Ow!” he yelled and jerked his hand back. “What the hell! You packing weapons?”
She laughed and pulled a pencil out of the mess. “Yep.”
“Girl…” He shook his head. “You ain’t right.”
“Feels pretty right to me,” I said, and she grinned.
“See?” Braeden shook his head. “Freaks.”
He opened the door and stepped into the hall. “Ladies!” he called out as the door shut behind him.
“I didn’t think he’d ever leave,” I said and gathered her close. She laid her cheek against my chest and I rested my chin on top her head.
“I’m glad you’re here,” she whispered and wrapped her hand around my bicep.
“You gonna tell me what’s wrong?” I asked after just a few minutes of nothing but her in my arms.
“Hadn’t planned on it.”
“Rim,” I growled.
She sighed. “It’s stupid.”
“Did my mother say something?” I knew she said things with Mom had gone fine, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she was just saying that.
“No. Yes,” she said. Then she blew out a breath. “I don’t know.”
“You’re gonna have to help me here, baby. I don’t speak woman.”
She giggled and the sound tightened my gut and stirred my desire.
“She wants me to help plan the fundraiser. She wants to have girl time.”
“I’m not seeing how this is bad.” Sometimes women confused the shit out of me. Didn’t she want my mother to like her?
“I haven’t really done that since my mom…” Her voice faded away and everything clicked.
Ah, shit. My mother was reminding her of her mother and all the things she was missing. “You miss your mom.”
“Every day,” she whispered, and my chest tightened.
This was a kind of hurt I couldn’t make go away. This wasn’t something I could punch or have served papers. Grief and loss wasn’t something I knew how to deal with. I pulled her closer and she snuggled in. One of the pencils in her hair poked me.
I reached up and pulled it out. Then another one.
“Sorry,” she mused.
I kissed her on the forehead. “You know my mom could never take the place of yours.”
“Sounds like something I said to your mom about you,” she mused.
“Oh yeah?” I smiled against her.
She nodded. “And I know. It’s just… hard. I want to spend time with her. I do. It’s just…”
“You feel like you’re betraying your mom?”
She glanced up. “No, not at all.”
I frowned. “Then?”
“What happens if we break up?” She rushed the words out so fast I stumbled to keep up.
“You think we’re going to break up?” Just the thought gave me chest pains.
“Not everything lasts forever.”
And then I understood.
I understood exactly why spending time with my mother scared her.
“Baby,” I murmured and lifted her off my lap. Her open laptop was nearby, and I moved it onto the floor. She was looking at me with shadows in her eyes when I turned back, and they haunted me.
I cupped her face in my hands and stared at her intently. “You can let them in. I’m not going anywhere.”
Behind her glasses, she squeezed her eyes shut.
I kissed the tip of her nose. “I love you so much. I’m keeping you. My family is your family now. I won’t let anyone take that away from you.”
“It hurts,” she whispered.
Something in my chest constricted. The pain in her voice was unmistakable.
“You were inevitable. I know that now. The minute I was handed that paper with your name on it for tutoring, it was like somehow cast in stone that you would get inside here,” Rimmel said as she pressed a hand to her heart.
Her eyes met mine. “I love you, more than anyone. Anything. And the thought of losing you keeps me up at night. You don’t know what it’s like to lose someone.”
“No, I don’t,” I said gently.
“I can’t let her in too. I can’t risk loving anyone else and losing them.”
“Come here.” I reached for her and her arms locked around my neck. I stretched out on the mattress, pulling her with me. Her body was pressed along mine and her face was buried in my neck. I held her without saying a word.
There really wasn’t anything I could say. Not really. It killed me that she hurt like this. It killed me that I didn’t know how to stop it. All I could do was love her. Love her and never leave.
“You know,” I said, trying to lighten the mood. “My mother is a control freak. She’s not as lovable as me.”
The laugh that bubbled out of her eased some of the tension in my shoulders.
She looked up. Tears filled her eyes. “No one is as lovable as you.”
I pulled her glasses off and set them aside. When I rolled on top of her, she sighed and hooked one of her legs around mine. I kissed her deeply, swirling my tongue inside her mouth, and pulled her lip into mine to suck gently on the fullness. Rimmel’s hands slid into my hair, and she tugged me closer.
I kissed her with all the love I had inside me, trying to push out some of that darkness, some of that loss. I knew that feeling would never go away for her, but I wanted to at least make it smaller. I wanted my love to be bigger, to overpower that doubt.
She arched up off the bed into me. Even through our clothes, I could feel the erect pebbles of her nipples. She spread her thighs and I settled between her legs, growling in frustration at the layers of clothes keeping me from her skin.
I pushed my hips against her and she met me with a thrust of her own. I tore my mouth away from hers and kissed down her neck, nipping at the exposed skin with my teeth.
She sighed my name, and I ground my hard length into her. She moved restlessly and reached for the hem of my shirt.
Desire pumped through me so hard and fast that I didn’t even hear the door open. I just kept kissing her, trying to get closer.
Rimmel’s tongue slipped into my mouth, and I groaned.
“Yo, dude!” Braeden hollered. “You’re not alone anymore.”
Beneath me, Rimmel stiffened. Her hands that had found their way to the button of my jeans went rigid.
I lifted my head and blinked, trying to bring my sight back into focus. Braeden was standing down by my feet, staring at us with an amused expression on his face. “Did you not even hear Ivy come in the room?”
“No,” I growled. The desire was still pumping through me, and I was irritated that he was talking.
“Well, you gave her a show.”
Rimmel buried her face in my neck with a little squeal.
“I’ll be right out.”
“C’mon, blondie. Let’s give them a few.” Braeden tossed his arm around Ivy, who was standing right there and I hadn’t even seen her.
When the door closed behind them, I dropped my forehead down on the mattress beside Rimmel’s face and sucked in a shuddering breath.
“Stay at my place tonight,” I said, my voice hoarse.
“I have class in the morning.”
“I’ll drive you back.” I’d get up in the middle of the night if I had to.
“I have to finish this paper. My laptop is running really slow lately, and it’s due tomorrow.” As she made excuses, her fingers slid into the waistband of my jeans.
“You can use my laptop. It’s new. Hell, you can fucking have the thing.”
She laughed.
I groaned. “Please, baby. I can’t just leave you here.”
My lips found hers again, and they did a better job convincing than any words ever would.
“Promise you’ll let me finish the paper?” she asked and ripped her mouth free.
“On my honor,” I said solemnly and pushed up off her to place a hand over my heart.
Her eyes went to my crotch and the massive tent in my jeans. Her tongue darted out and licked her bottom lip. I groaned.
“‘Kay. Let’s go.”
I jumped up and gathered her laptop and power cord. “Get some clothes for the morning.”
She needed some closet space at my house. I was too impatient for her to pack a bag. “I need my book bag,” she said as she stuffed clothes into a duffle.
I tossed it over my shoulder and tucked the computer under my arm. Rimmel finished packing her bag and pushed her glasses back on her face. “Done.”
I took her hand and towed her out into the hall. Braeden saw us and burst out laughing.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Rimmel said to Ivy, who was standing right beside Braeden.
After we dropped Braeden at his dorm, I grabbed her face and kissed her again. Long. Slow. Deep.
“You promised I could finish my paper,” she reminded me, her voice husky.
“Yes, but I never promised anything about sleep.”
“I don’t need sleep. Just you.”
I didn’t think about Zach, football, or my mother the rest of the night. It was only her.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Rimmel
Weeks flew by.
I saw Romeo, but not nearly as much as I wanted to. Most of the time we spent together was during tutoring or stolen kisses between classes or other obligations. I longed to sneak off to his place for another night or an entire weekend.
We talked about it over texts and when we saw each other, but the past couple weeks, it had been really hard to find long stretches of time to be alone.
I was spending time with Valerie. Nothing too excessive; I was trying to take it slow. She didn’t push me, and I wondered if Romeo told her about my hesitation to become close to her or if maybe she was just perceptive. We had lunch one weekend. She took me to some place I’d never been. It wasn’t the type of place Romeo and I usually ate, with paper napkins and loud music.
This place was quiet and beautiful. The napkins on the table were cloth, and we had bread plates and special water goblets. It hadn’t been stuffy, though, or awkward; it had just been elegant.
Mostly we talked about the shelter and the plans for the fundraiser. Valerie was a very organized woman. She had notebooks and a calendar for everything. She didn’t much ask about my life. Occasionally, she would ask about Romeo, or I would mention my grandmother.
We also went around one afternoon looking at venues for the event. They were all very classy, and I worried how much they would cost. She merely brushed off my concerns and said the cost of the tickets would cover the room price.
I tried to be myself as much as possible, much to my own detriment. I was afraid if I was too much like myself, she’d be appalled and want nothing to do with me. So I always dressed nicely and had Ivy do my hair when I met with her. But I didn’t change my personality. I didn’t change my glasses.
There were some things about me she was going to have to accept. I did want her to like me—not some version I’d created, but the real me.
Michelle was beyond thrilled about the fundraising opportunity and went on and on about how lucky I was to be involved with Romeo, who had such a good standing in the community. But his status wasn’t why I was with him.
I loved him.
His eyes.
His smile.
The way he loved me.
Even though football season was over, he seemed as busy with it as ever. The NFL scout we met at the championship game called.
The NFL was interested. They were talking contracts, teams, drafting him.
Romeo’s dad was handling the negotiations. Apparently, he’d been studying up on the ins and outs of football contracts and deals since Romeo was in middle school. And since he was a lawyer and had Romeo’s best interests at heart, he made the perfect manager.
So in addition to the contract negotiations and the meetings with his father, Romeo was training just as hard as ever. He wanted this so badly, and now that his dream was right there in front of him, he wasn’t going to let it go.
I was proud of him.
When I first met him, I thought he was just another player jock. I thought he was a user, a slacker, and was lucky enough to have some talent he could exploit.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
He worked hard. Harder than most people I’d ever met. School might not be his strong suit, but he tried and he worked at it. He trained endlessly and perfected the talent he had. He didn’t take any of it for granted either.
He deserved this.
Of course, I was a little sad too. If he got drafted, where would that leave us?
I never voiced that worry out loud, never even hinted at it. I wouldn’t be anything but supportive of him, and I wouldn’t do anything to take away from his dream.
I had one last class
before I could break for lunch. I was meeting Ivy and Missy at the food court. The granola bar I’d eaten in a hurry this morning on my way to class just hadn’t been enough and my stomach growled relentlessly.
I was excited for class, though.
Yes. I know. No one gets excited for class.
Except nerds.
I’d come to accept that title. I owned it.
I was getting my paper back today, the one I’d worked tirelessly on since the first week of classes. I’d researched a ton, spent hours putting together the topic and thesis. I wrote it, edited it, and then reworked it. My computer made it hard because lately it’d been running slow, and I made a mental note to take it somewhere to have it looked at.
This paper was important to me because it was for my animal science class. This class was an important part of my major, and I wanted to do a good job and prove this was certainly the correct career field for me.
Not only that, but high marks on a paper of this topic would help me stand out to veterinary schools when I graduated.
I just knew I’d get a good grade. It was well researched, thorough, and organized. I was proud of this particular assignment, and I was looking forward to seeing the high marks.
I took my seat in class and listened to a short lecture on what we were going over next week and also a recap of everything we’d gone over this semester. It was boring, and while I tried to listen, my thoughts kept turning to Romeo.
I decided when we got out of class, I was going to call him and see if we could see each other tonight.
The professor announced that the papers we’d turned in were graded and once he gave those out, we were free to leave for the day. I tucked my things in my bag and waited while he passed them out.
When he handed mine over, he didn’t smile or even acknowledge me. It was like he was trying not to look at me.
Odd.
I didn’t really think about it because I was too anxious for my grade and his remarks so I flipped up the professional cover page I’d designed and stared down at the red writing.
SEE ME!
I glanced around the room, wondering if anyone else got such an odd note on their paper. No one else looked the least bit concerned. In fact, most people were already up out of their seats and fleeing the room.
#Hater (Hashtag #2) Page 20