“Noe!” The woman exclaimed. “We were afraid you’d got caught lost in the swamp!”
“I was, Mother. But Santo rescued me.” Noe gestured to the boy. “He was in a boat, and heard me call, and picked me up, and now I’m safely here.” This was an edited version, as there seemed to be no need to burden the folks with a wild story of a quest for a princess. “He’s visiting from another world. He makes little holes, like through a table.” She took a breath. “And he’s my boyfriend.”
“Really?” the woman inquired tolerantly. “That’s nice.”
“Really,” Noe insisted. “Does he have to kiss me to prove it?”
“That extreme will not be necessary,” Mother said. “I’m sure he’s a nice boy.”
Noe’s nose looked as if it were trying to be out of joint. She had spent her life not being taken very seriously. “He’ll visit sometime.”
“That’s fine. Now go harvest a nice pie for dinner.”
“Well, look,” Noe said. Then she stepped into Santo, wrapped her arms tightly about him, and gave him a huge kiss on the mouth.
“That’s showing her,” Kadence murmured approvingly beside Dell.
Noe let Santo go, gave her mother a “So there!” look, and ran off to harvest the pie.
Mother looked at Santo, “It’s time for you to go,” she said severely. It seemed that Noe’s demonstration had been slightly too persuasive.
“Yes, ma’am.” He seemed to be stifling a smile.
So, oddly, was Mother. She turned and went into the house.
Santo stepped into the boat, effectively disappearing. “Noe’s a naughty girl,” he said. “I think I like her.”
“She’ll do,” Kadence agreed. “You make a nice couple.”
“I will visit her,” he said. “She’ll make a good friend, like my siblings.”
Dell exchanged a look with Nia. It seemed that the girl had indeed impressed the boy. Maybe not as a girlfriend, but as a friend who was a girl. Indeed, like the siblings.
They sailed on, not bothering with invisibility. No one was looking except maybe the spooks, and they weren’t active anymore. The voyage became tedious, as they had a long way to go and the swamp was large. “I’m going home,” Kadence announced. “But call me when anything interesting happens.”
“I will,” Dell promised. Was her crush fading? That would be nice.
“No, she’s just bored,” Ula said. “I’m not.” She went to join the other children.
Then Noe appeared near the boat. She held up a printed sign: WARNING.
“What’s she doing here?” Dell demanded. “We left her at her home, far away.”
“It’s the spook,” Nia said wisely. “She’s up to something new.”
“When she knows she’s been discovered? That’s weird. I didn’t know they could write.”
“I’ll fetch Santo,” the peeve said.
Santo stared. Then he marked a plaque of his own. WHAT?
COME OUT AND I’LL TELL YOU. WE CAN TALK IF YOU GET CLOSE ENOUGH.
Santo looked at Dell. “Is this a trick to get me out of the boat? I’m really curious, but I don’t want to get chomped.”
Tata sniffed the air. “She’s not lying,” the peeve said, surprised. “She actually wants to talk with you.”
“I’ll make you a shield,” Dell said. He picked up some spare sail canvas and stroked it, hardening it with his enhanced talent. “If you have to, snap your fingers, and it will catch fire.” He handed the clumsy impromptu shield to the boy.
Santo took it and stepped out with Tata. “What?” he repeated, while the dogfish sniffed a trailing lock of the spook’s hair.
Now she could be faintly heard from the boat. “The soldiers are tracking you with magic sniffers. They want the flying boat. You must get far away quickly.”
Tata did not growl. That meant she was speaking truth.
“You’re not Noe. You’re a spook!” Santo said. “You chomp folk. Why are you telling me this?”
The Noe-image smiled wistfully. “When I borrowed her likeness, it was safe, to be connected, because she did not know of you. Then you went to her, and now she likes you. So I like you, and do not wish you harm. This is ironic, because you are a fine healthy piece of meat I would have loved to chomp. That connection also enables me to talk in your human language, as I never did before. It’s weird. Now I must do what she would, if she knew: help you to escape capture and slavery.”
And Tata agreed. She was warning them of deadly danger, in time for them to escape it.
“Thank you,” Santo said, bemused. “We will do our best.”
“Please, before you go. Would you kiss me?”
He was astonished. “But you’re a monster!”
“And you’re gay. The connection still makes me long for it, as she does. I promise not to chomp you.”
Santo looked at Tata. The dogfish shrugged.
So Santo leaned forward and kissed the girlfriend image on her mouth. She kissed him back, not chomping him.
Then she faded back, and he and Tata returned to the boat. He had never had to use the shield.
“The spook kisses better than the real girl,” Santo said, marveling. “But I would rather be with Noe. She’s safer.”
“I think we owe Noe more than we supposed,” Nia said.
Now that he had the word, Tata put a map on his screen. It showed men with sniffing hounds following the scent trail left by the boat. This was definitely mischief.
“We do need to get away from them,” Dell said. “If they have the means to track us, they surely also have the means to demolish us, or make us slaves.”
“Tomorrow I could make a large enough hole,” Santo said.
“So we need to escape today. If we sail up into the sky, they’ll surely spy us. But if we keep going the way we’re going, they’ll catch up to us. What else can we do?”
Tata flashed another map. This showed a lake not far from them.
“But floating on the lake won’t stop them,” Dell protested.
“No need to float,” the peeve said. “This craft is submersible.”
“I didn’t know that!”
The bird looked at him as if he were an ignorant lout. Which perhaps was what he was. Again, he hadn’t asked.
Win came to join Nia, and sat to angle the wind in the right direction. They diverted from their prior course and cut across to the lake. They floated on it, then Nia angled the rudder and they sank down into it. The water rose up around the shield without wetting them. Then they were below.
“Try tracking that, blockheads,” the peeve said, satisfied. Because of course the scent would be hopelessly diffused throughout the water, untrackable.
The underwater terrain was a novelty. Belatedly Dell remembered to tap the ring, and Kadence came to join Ula. He explained what they had encountered, and how they had come to sail below the surface of the lake.
“Uh-oh,” the peeve said. “Tata says there’s a big one ahead.”
In a generous moment they spied it: something like a whale, one of the mythical Mundane beasts. Its opening mouth was big enough to take in the whole of the boat. Would the shield protect them from that? Even if it did, they would be taken where the whale went, not where they wanted to go.
Win blew a harder wind, and Nia tacked to the side, avoiding the monster. But it was a close call.
“Maybe we should hide on the bottom for the night,” Santo suggested. “Then sail through the air in the morning, when the hunt has ended. When I could make another hole, if I had to.”
That seemed good. They steered down into the murky depths and anchored there.
“Call me when you reach the princess,” Kadence said. “You’ll need me then.” She faded.
“I don’t know what I expected,” Dell told Nia. “But this isn�
�t it.”
“True for me too. I wonder whether we’re closer to accomplishing our own mission, that of delivering the craft? I confess to rather enjoying Fibot, and I think I will be sorry when we finally turn it over.”
“Yes. I think I would like to stay with it. With the right girl along.”
“Of course. She surely exists.”
Did she really exist? He wished he could be sure. He was afraid that if he found her, she wouldn’t care that much for him, or might like him but not the boat. Suppose he had to choose between her and working on the boat for the new proprietors? All he could do was hope that they accomplished the mission, and that the Good Magician’s assurance that they would then have their long-term desires proved to be accurate.
As it turned out, the enemy hunt had indeed dissipated and they were able to sail in the air again. Win revved up the wind to nearly hurricane force and they flew rapidly across the planet. Even so, it took another day and night to reach the besieged kingdom. They decided not to have Santo tunnel directly to it; better to save him for the return trip.
Now the capital castle loomed before them. Dragons roused to intercept them. They descended to land some distance from the castle, while they talked with guards, then officials, and finally the king’s representative. It was after all a time of war, and they had to be careful. Kadence was especially useful here, as she invoked royal precedents to persuade the guards that she was indeed a princess and that Jenny Elf was a queen. They found Kadence’s background quite interesting. But this was war and they didn’t trust any strangers. The royal authorities refused to admit the party to the castle. “Go away,” they said bluntly.
What could they do? They were up against a frightened bureaucracy. They sailed away.
But they did not give up. They parked invisibly in the nearest swamp and discussed it. “We have to get in,” Dell said. “Surely the king and queen would be more reasonable if they met us.”
“Yes, I believe I could persuade them,” Jenny said.
“I do not mean to question your ability,” Nia said carefully. “But they seem to be pretty much proof against reason. Do you have a way in mind?”
“My talent is to sing visions into existence for sharing,” Jenny said. “Over the years this has broadened, so that now I can tune in on a person’s nature and seem to be the kind of person he or she can trust. If I could talk to the queen directly, as one queen to another, I think I could get her on my side. That does not guarantee that her daughter the princess is right for us, or that she would care to marry my son, but at least we might get a sympathetic hearing.”
“That does seem to be our best chance,” Nia agreed. “So we shall have to do what it takes to bypass the dragons and the wall and the bureaucracy. Santo?”
“I have recovered enough to make at least a short hole,” the boy said. “Such as from here to inside the outer castle wall. It would be too tricky to get into the castle itself; the hole might degrade it, maybe even collapse some of it.”
“Inside the wall, outside the castle,” Nia said. “That should do.” She glanced around. “But this may be dangerous. Do we really want to try it?”
“We can keep the boat invisible and shielded,” Dell said. “So that only the key people take the risk. They are the ones who should decide.”
“Which means Jenny and Kadence,” Nia said. “The royals.”
“Yes, of course,” Jenny said.
“Yes,” Kadence said.
“Next question,” Dell said. “When?”
“Tata, when’s the best time?” the peeve asked.
The dogfish sniffed the air, and his screen flashed the word NOW.
“Now, before they have fully assimilated the presence of a flying boat and decided to capture it,” Grania said. “Because they are at war, they are naturally suspicious.”
So Santo focused and made a ship-sized hole from the swamp to the castle grounds. Win blew them through it, and the hole blinked out behind them. They were in!
They were in an open yard between the outer and inner walls of the castle. It was pleasant, with paths and flower gardens, and a decorative moat around the castle itself. Obviously war was not the normal state of this kingdom. That, Dell hoped, was a good sign.
“No guards?” Nia asked.
“Tata says there are guard dogs,” the peeve said. “Or wolves.”
“Wolves will not be a problem,” Jenny said. “I will go find the queen.”
“But these aren’t your wolves,” Nia said. “Not werewolves. They’ll be dangerous.”
“Not to me.”
Was this a foolish certainty? Dell didn’t want to argue with a queen, but he did not trust this.
“You will need a retinue,” Kadence said. “Queens don’t travel alone. I can be a royal child companion.”
“And a maid,” Squid said. “Queens don’t do their own details.” Her appearance shifted as she rearranged her limbs and colors, and she became a royal servant girl.
“And a royal guard,” Dell said. He took a spear from the yacht’s armory and stroked it to make it look like gold. He hoped he wouldn’t have to try to use it to defend against attacking wolves, as he had no training and would probably make a mess of it. But he couldn’t let the girls go alone.
“That should do,” Jenny said, smiling.
They stepped out of the invisible boat and walked toward the castle.
In barely two thirds of a moment there was a baying sound. The wolves had winded them! Then a pack of almost half a dozen giant wolves charged around a corner of the castle, heading right for their little party.
“Stay,” Jenny said as if cautioning pets. “I will handle this.”
They stayed, nervously, while she stepped boldly forth to intercept the lead wolf. The creature was taller than she was; she looked like a child in comparison.
There was a sound. She was singing! It was an odd melody, neither especially rousing nor pretty, but there was something about it.
“It’s an animal pacifier,” Squid whispered. “I’m an animal; I feel it. It’s a vision in sound.”
“A wolf tamer,” Kadence whispered back. “They really feel it.”
The lead wolf slowed, then stopped, his cohorts behind him. Jenny patted his nose. Then he crouched down, and she climbed onto his back. He rose again, briefly facing the pack. She was riding him!
Jenny called to the others. “Come forward. Let them sniff you.”
The three of them walked forward. The wolves came up to sniff them. They did not attack.
“Now the others,” Jenny said. “The wolves have to identify each of you, to know you’re friends. Make the boat visible.”
They did so, and the others emerged to be sniffed, including the peeve and Tata. They also sniffed the boat itself.
“Now into the castle,” Jenny said. She led the way, grandly astride the lead wolf.
At the entry there was a door guard, staring open-mouthed at Jenny on the wolf. “Make way for Queen Jenny!” Kadence called. “She has come to see the Queen.”
There was a scrambling as courtiers hurried to obey. Jenny dismounted and patted the wolf’s shoulder. “Good boy,” she said. “Now return to your route.”
The wolves departed without even a growl.
A courtier approached. “Um, this is most irregular.”
“That is not for you to judge,” Jenny said haughtily. “Take me to the Queen.”
What could he do? Here was a woman who had tamed the wolf guards and who was obviously a queen. He had to obey. He guided Jenny down a hall. “Wait here,” Jenny called back to them.
They entered a pleasant reception chamber, admiring its plants and statuary.
A veiled young woman entered. She wore a crown, gown, and gloves, and was remarkably comely. “Who are you?” she demanded imperiously.
K
adence stood, and bowed. “Princess Froma,” she said. “I am Princess Kadence of Xanth.”
Froma eyed her, and recognized her status instantly, accepting it. “What is your business here? You can’t come barging in on your own!”
“We are part of the retinue of Queen Jenny of the Werewolves. You may have noticed her way with wolves. Likewise the special boat that brought her here. She has come to see if you are a suitable match for her son, Prince Jerry.”
“Oh, another claimant for my hand!” Froma exclaimed angrily. “I’m so sick of those.”
“Nevertheless, you should consider it,” Kadence said evenly. “Good prospects don’t grow on trees the way pies do.”
“It makes no difference,” Froma snapped. “Why should I marry a suitor who lacks the nerve to brace me directly? Who sends his mother to plead his case? I’ll have none of this!”
“It does seem impertinent,” Kadence agreed. “But the circumstances are special.”
“Show me your flying boat. That’s the only reason I’m talking to you at all.”
Oho! So the Princess had a reason to approach them.
“We can do that, Princess,” Kadence said. “But we need to clarify that the boat does not belong to the kingdom of Prince Jerry. In fact, we are using it only temporarily, until we deliver it to its proper proprietors. So if that is your interest, there is no prospect there.”
“That is my interest. We’ll deal with the proprietors if we decide to acquire it.”
Kadence shrugged. “Dell, give the Princess a tour of the complete boat. We’ll wait here, as we were directed.” Being part of Queen Jenny’s entourage.
Which neatly got the haughty Princess out of their hair while they waited on Jenny’s dialogue with the Queen.
“This way, if you please, Princess,” Dell said, hoping he would not mess it up. He leaned his spear against the wall and proffered his elbow, and she took it. Her gloved hand was light and her poise was perfect. He was struck more forcefully by her masked beauty.
They walked out to the boat. He was bemused to think that he had a real live princess on his arm. That would never happen in his real life.
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