Dasos sat next to her and found himself caught between a grimace and laughter. “That sounds awful. Why would you suggest such a thing like that?”
“Because things like that are common on Earth. I hate to think that this is all a dream in my comatose state after what happened weeks ago, and I’m still waiting in the emergency room for a doctor to show up and give my uncle options that would make your skin crawl.”
“This isn’t a dream, Zoey.”
“Isn’t it? Everything seems so wondrous compared to what I grew up with. The past week, with obvious exceptions, has been so unusually good and right in contrast to what my old life was like, and yet so often out of my control. If I am awake, then what do I do with my life? What have I been doing since I woke up several days ago except make rash decisions and run off toward the unknown? If I’m not in some fantastic dream, then why do I feel like everything turns into a nightmare at random moments?”
“Can I tell you a secret to solve all that?”
“What?”
“You slapped a powerful man when he needed it most. Every one of us felt it in a different way. I think Mom felt that someone had slapped her, and she’s begun facing her own demons as a result. She’s having a hard time with that, though, because she still doesn’t know if you’re fine or not. I haven’t told her you were here, because I came running first thing. My chest hurts from doing that. The point is that we feel, every one of us.”
“Everybody’s so broken. Is that what you’re telling me?”
“Some of us more than others.”
“Even that girl I saw. The one I fought from the Kroke Team? I think she was their leader. I saw a piece of her mask come off, and there was something there I didn’t understand any more than being broken.”
“You saw Soror Valide’s face? You fought her and lived?”
“What?”
“There are a couple accounts where the name of their leader was mentioned and recorded. Soror Valide was heard, and the name sealed away from most of the public. No one has ever actually seen her face before now except, presumably, her own people and you.”
“I didn’t see the whole thing.”
“Law enforcement can work with whatever you remember.”
“That might not be so. I barely saw it, and was dazed from taking hits to the face. Plus I couldn’t think straight since I was so angry at them for killing you.”
“I’m not dead.”
“Yeah, you look kind of dead to me.”
“Well, now you’re being silly.”
Zoey sighed. “Do you really think Mom and Dad will forgive me for running off like that? I messed up so bad last night.”
“I think the real question is whether or not you trust us and know you don’t have to keep running. Let us do some of the running for you. Let us help you prevent the need to run at all.”
“How much control will I have over my life, though?”
“As much as you need; as much as you want.”
“I should go see them after Tonny’s done in there. God knows I don’t feel ready for that talk, but I really should see them.”
“She’ll be fine. Tonny can take care of herself.”
“We both also kind of need breakfast.”
“Fine, I’ll pay for your meals. It’s the least I can do.”
“Under one condition.”
He groaned. “What is it?”
“Would you mind teaching me how money, or whatever you call it, works in this society of ours?”
* * *
The train was halfway full of people Zoey didn’t recognize when she got on it with Dasos and Tong-Chang. A few of the passengers might have been having quiet conversations among themselves, but the rest seemed to be staring at wherever their own worlds were at the moment, which was something she did recognize from the public buses on Earth.
“By the way,” Das said, “where did you two sleep, and did you leave anything there?”
No real answer came from either girl. They smirked at one another, knowing that the one thing they’d left was the package of medicine they weren’t telling Das about. They teetered on merriment from saying nothing.
He simply said, “What?”
The trip took the trio to an inn, in a different part of town from the love hotel, that looked to be under repairs around a few spots of the building. Zoey wanted to stop to at least marvel at the number of holes that were boarded up, with one being the right size to fit the front end of a car from Earth if any had existed around here.
Only there weren’t really any cars on the station so much as automatic carriages that moved as quickly as anyone jogging on foot. At least that was the case in this ring of the station. She had yet to explore the second ring.
Her friends had already reached the front door, Zoey realized when she was done being distracted for the moment. She hustled to catch up when her brother opened the door.
Breakfast ended up being the same thing for her that she had ordered at the hotel this morning, but now it was her own plate while Tong-Chang ordered a separate meal. Das had a cup of coffee since he had eaten earlier amidst his hurry back to the ship.
Tong-Chang had clearly been thinking about something while they made the trek to this inn. She’d told the siblings that she was fine when she came out of that examination room aboard the ship, and that everything was working. Das became more concerned for her, but she told him she couldn’t say more than that. Not yet. During breakfast, it was clear that whatever was on her mind was weighing heavily on her. Zoey could guess what it was, but said nothing.
Zoey placed her hand on Tong-Chang’s. It sparked a smile from her friend, albeit a weak one. Zoey knew she would have to ask her about it later when they were alone.
Her brother darted his head between the two of them a couple of times. Das said, “I don’t believe this.”
“What?” Zoey asked.
“The two of you! If I didn’t know better, I would assume that the two of you are dating now.”
“Please don’t make a scene,” Tong-Chang said.
“I’m not. I’m just trying to figure you two out. I’m just trying to figure us out.”
“That was six months ago.”
“I was stupid for letting you go, especially the way I did;. so very stupid.”
“I’d like to talk about this another time, Dasos. I don’t even know what I want to talk about right now.”
“At least tell me what’s wrong. I want to know if I can help you in some way, because I care. Don’t try telling me that you’re fine. We’ve been friends since we were children, long before we ever thought about dating. I know when something is bothering you, but never what it is.”
“I’m pregnant.”
Das sat back against his chair and choked on his own ability to make words. A few passersby or neighbors from other tables looked their way and nodded at the young Ginserei, at least one person raising their glass of orange juice in cheers.
“Until this morning when I woke up,” Tong-Chang said in a quieter voice, “I was in the midst of my tangouchu. I had planned to lock myself away, without contact with any boys, and use the medicine I had bought to help it pass without killing me. This morning it ended as I slept.”
“Tonny, I don’t know what to say,” Das said.
“Neither do I.”
“Don’t leave me in the dark again, OK? I don’t know who the father is, but I’ll be by your side as long as you need me to be. And when you’re ready to talk more, we’ll talk.”
“Thank you. Both of you.”
“Hey, speaking of talking . . .”
Zoey turned her attention to the stairway that was behind her, at which point it became clear why Das’ithrios had picked this inn for them all to eat breakfast. Keft’aerak came walking down the wooden stairs, his eyes never once falling on the trio having breakfast.
She shot a glare at her brother and took a deep breath. He was right, of course. The sooner Zoey tried to make things up
with her adoptive parents the better.
“Excuse me,” Zoey said, standing. She weaved through the tables and people to get to the counter where Keft’aerak had arrived and now stood. He was asking the employee behind it something that Zoey couldn’t catch before she caught up to him.
The server wandered off to grab something. This was it; Zoey’s chance.
“Dad,” she said. Keft’aerak turned, surprised to see her. “Hi, umm, I think I did a dumb—“
He cut her off with a tight squeeze and a kiss on her forehead. “You’re OK,” Aerak said. “That’s what matters is that you’re OK.”
“I will be. Where’s Mom?”
“She’s upstairs in our room. I haven’t seen her like this in a while. I’ve been trying to comfort her and get her to eat.”
The server set down a transparent cup full of a thick liquid. It looked like a red raspberry smoothie, which Zoi’ne remembered drinking a couple times as a little boy when he didn’t feel too well.
Zoey picked up the smoothie and said, “Which room is she in? I think I should be the one to do this.”
* * *
She pushed the door open slowly and stepped inside. Zoey found her mom sitting in a chair and staring out the window. The view was less than spectacular from here, but Zoey suspected that her Mom wasn’t doing this for sightseeing or looking out, so much as reflecting on more than Zoey knew about.
Zoi’ne set the cup upon the table and kneeled next to Bon’sinne. The older Aelf woman inhaled sharply, but Zoey ignored that and hugged her, resting her head on her mom’s arm.
“I was so worried about you,” Bon’sinne said.
“I’m worried about you now,” Zoey replied. “Dad says you’re having trouble eating.”
“You have no idea how much of a wreck I am. I lost one daughter because she ran off and got herself killed, all thanks to what I did, or what I couldn’t do. I killed innocents when trying to deal with one of those Hulda’fi rebels, because I was grieving too much to think straight. Now I push myself so hard on another girl, one I hoped to become my second daughter, until she too ran away from me.”
“No, Mom. I’m right here. The mistake was mine.”
“Their faces haunt me. That mother and child should have lived. Il’lyse should have lived.”
“Stop. If anyone should live right now it’s you.”
In truth she had no idea what Bon’sinne was referring to about the people she’d killed. She sensed that it hurt more than her mom was saying with words alone, but she had to help her through this.
Zoey handed Bon’sinne the smoothie and said, “You need to eat. Start slow. I can’t tell you how bad of a mess I made from drinking my raspberry smoothies too fast on certain days.”
Bon’sinne huffed and shed a tear. She tasted her smoothie. Then she said, “You like them too?”
“Yeah. I loved them when I was growing up.”
Her mom ran a hand against the side of her head, brushing fingers through Zoey’s own rosewood-colored hair. The whole of her pointy ear felt exposed to the world, yet the sensation was a refreshing one.
“Did you find somewhere to sleep last night?” Bon’sinne asked.
“I did,” Zoey said. “Tonny helped me.”
“Oh, that girl. She’s such a good friend.”
“That’s what I gathered.”
“She’s certain trouble, though, so be careful around her.”
At first Zoey wasn’t sure whether or not to take Bon’sinne seriously, until her mom smiled at her. Then they laughed together. It was then that Zoey promised that she would stop running, and Bon’sinne promised to impose less as long as Zoey spoke up about what she wanted. Bon’sinne would also work to improve herself.
It was a better deal than Zoey could have dreamed.
[ 15]
Zoey returned to the love hotel with Tong-Chang, as well as a change in underwear and shirt. Tonny let her take a shower first while they talked.
“I don’t know yet,” Tong-Chang said. “This pregnancy is a lot to think about. Ever since I left home years ago I always told myself I wouldn’t have any children. Now I wait to see how many are growing inside of me.”
“Huh? What do you mean?” Zoey asked.
“It’s Ginserei anatomy. With my luck it will be triplets. It will be harder to hide this from my House back home. If my brothers and sisters could see me now they’d laugh, I’m sure of it.”
“I’m sure you’re fine.” Damn, triplets?
“Hopefully it’s only one. Then would come the question of what I’ll do with him or her. I have eight weeks to decide if I should terminate it or not without question, or up to five more months after that if the babies pose any serious health risk, but the idea of that just scares me more. What if a complication comes along that threatens my life, or my child’s? What if I can’t make that fateful decision?”
Zoey stepped out of the shower, dripping wet, and embraced her friend. “Hey, Das and I both said we’d be here for you.”
“Don’t remind me. If your sister was here she’d say the same thing, and then I’d feel so torn between the three of you despite how the other two went.”
“You make it sound as though you had romantic feelings for her too.”
“It was complicated. We were younger, curious, and a little irresponsible. OK, we were very irresponsible. I thought I had everything under control, and this would never happen, but now I reap the rewards despite only having five partners until now. She was my first, and I should have treated her more like our relationship would last.”
“True talk right now? I don’t want to hear about you getting it on with anyone else in my family. More than that, I want you to learn from this, and live as a better person for it. If you don’t like the way you were, then don’t be that way.”
“Listen to you giving life advice.”
“While hugging you in the nude in the middle of a love hotel on the far side of the known galaxy.”
“This room was a little overboard, wasn’t it?”
“Just a bit.” Zoey winked at her friend.
“I almost went a couple rooms bigger, too, and it’s all on my father’s yingbi.”
“His what now?”
“It’s what we call our currency on Ginserei. I’ve been using his yingbi to pay for little things if only to spite him, and he hasn’t tried to stop me yet, though I did see a few small businesses either close down or redecorate over the years.”
“Why do you hate your family?”
“That’s the worst part. I don’t know if I do. At times I thought I did. Maybe what I hated was being bred to fit a specific role. The number one thing I do know is that I can’t ever go back there. My siblings can fight over that lifestyle all they like until one of them runs the House in our father’s place, or he discovers immortality and outlives us all. I can see him trying such a thing.”
“So you ran away and moved to Elysium?”
“Honestly? I was trying to keep my head down and stow away to the next moon that we inhabit. I got on the wrong cargo craft, and two of my mother’s spies found me after getting on the wrong vessel, themselves. I swear life is nothing more than a series of mistakes.”
“Well then, what would you say to hopping into the shower with me, and making the best mistakes?”
“If almost anyone else said that I’d drown them.”
Zoey kissed Tong-Chang on the lips and guided her into the shower stall. She gave her friend a look that said “Try me.” Zoey did not envy whomever was in charge of cleaning these places.
* * *
Soror Valide removed the patch from her eye while standing before a mirror. The others were either monitoring the stiern-boat or lounging together in a mass of flesh and sweat. She would join them if she were in the mood for it yet. If there were more of them present she would likely have been in the mood. That was the lie she told herself.
Both of her green eyes stared back at her in the mirror for the first time in
days. By now the burn was gone, and the minimal scarring was clearing up. This would have to do.
She turned off the light and floated through the air toward the front of the craft. They’d gotten their package at a heavy price, and failed to retrieve someone. No one had told her until they were back on the stiern-boat that there was a secondary objective to that mission. No one could confirm who the girl was that was still alive.
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