by Linda Ford
Louisa watched at the window as Madge slid from the car. She could tell Louisa wasn’t pleased. The tight set of her lips made Madge’s blood scrape through her veins.
Perhaps, before the next hour was out, Louisa would be reconciled to Judd caring for Madge.
Wasn’t she always telling Judd to trust God to do what was right? Now was the time to practice what she preached. Lord God, please make things work out. She relaxed marginally.
“Hello, Louisa,” she said cheerfully as she stepped into the room.
“What have you done with Justin?”
Madge pressed her lips together. Was it so obvious they had kissed?
“Why didn’t he come back with you?”
Oh. Only that. “I left him a mile or two down the road. He decided he wanted to walk.”
Louisa perked up. “Have you two had a spat?”
“No. Where’s Mother?”
“In the other room. Why?” Louisa’s voice demanded answers.
“I just want to speak to her.” She headed for the front room. When Louisa started to follow, Madge said, “It’s private.”
Pretty Louisa marred her looks with a scowl fit for a banker about to lose his last penny. “You’re up to something. And I think it involves Justin. Which means it involves me.”
“If it does I’ll be sure to notify you.” She crossed the threshold and pulled the door closed after her.
Mother sat before the radio listening to a program. She glanced at Madge, then reached over to turn the knob off. “What is it?”
She sat by her mother and sought for the words to explain. “Mother, what do you think about Justin?”
“He seems a fine young man. He and Louisa have a lot in common. And hasn’t Louisa’s health improved with his attention?”
“Louisa appears fond of him, doesn’t she?” She knew the answer but hoped—prayed—mother would have seen it differently.
“I’m happy with how their relationship is progressing. Why do you ask?”
“I just wonder—” Wanting the man chosen for her sister was downright selfish. “Does Justin know your ultimate goal concerning him?”
“I haven’t said anything yet. It seemed premature.”
“Don’t you think he should? Besides, what do you really know about him?”
“Having him here every day gives us a good chance to assess his character.”
Madge didn’t respond. Justin wasn’t even real, yet Mother and Louisa thought he was the right man for the eldest sister. “I think you should ask him about his past, his plans for the future. Maybe it’s time to see what his interest in Louisa is.”
Louisa burst through the door. “You’re trying to steal him from me. Isn’t it enough that you have good health while mine is poor? Or that you get to do the things you want? Seems you just can’t stand to see me get anything before you do, even though I’m older.”
Madge stared at her. Sweet Louisa revealing such venom? Hardly seemed possible. “I’m not trying to steal anything from you.” She hoped her guilty secret of a stolen kiss didn’t send telltale pink to her cheeks.
“Then where is he? Why do you take him with you, then leave him to find his own way home?” She turned to Mother. “She left him to walk. Poor Justin with his bad leg. He’ll be coughing all night after this.”
It was all Madge could do not to snort in disbelief. “He’ll be fine.”
“Well, I’m concerned.” The look she gave Madge told of a care beyond thinking of him walking a mile or two.
Madge smiled gently. “You have no reason to worry.” She would not be guilty of taking what her sister wanted and deserved. She glanced at Mother, wanting to say more, wanting to urge her to question Justin more closely, assess his interest.
Mother watched Madge and Louisa with wise knowing.
Madge shifted her attention to the far corner of the room. She did not want Mother to guess at her heart’s yearning. If only Mother would question Judd, ascertain the truth, then perhaps both she and Louisa would change their minds about the man.
But until that happened, Madge would avoid him.
She bid them good-night and hurried up the stairs to crumple on her bed. Somehow she’d expected this to turn out differently. Didn’t God see her heart? Know her affection for Judd? But Louisa cared about him, too. No, she cared about Justin. If this deception continued, Louisa was going to be hurt badly when she discovered Justin wasn’t real. Or maybe Judd wasn’t real.
She touched her lips, remembering their recent kiss, and smiled. Oh, Judd was real enough. And the way she’d felt holding his hand at the Burnses’ place was further proof.
What was she to do? Could she persuade Judd to tell the truth? Or encourage Mother to probe and discover it herself?
She flipped to her back and stared at the ceiling. Shouldn’t she trust God to order things rightly? But what if she left the situation in God’s hands and Louisa and Justin—or would he be Judd?—married? Could she still trust God?
Sometimes it was so very difficult not to take things into her own hands.
Madge was beginning to really welcome the afternoons spent at the Gratton house. Mr. Gratton usually came home before she left. They often worked together before she served his supper and headed home.
He had a narrow bed moved into the room they were converting for his mother. At her suggestion, he put in a chiffonier and a wardrobe. Madge hung pictures, made up the bed and draped a colorful quilt over the foot.
“It looks welcoming,” George—as he’d instructed Madge to call him—said. “Thank you for making it so.”
“It was fun.” Even more importantly, working here got her away from home and provided an escape from Judd. When she left each afternoon, he still sat with Louisa. She hoped his instruction was confined to Greek and art and didn’t include lessons on romance.
He’d glanced up more than once as she crossed the yard carrying a basket of clean articles but couldn’t offer to help her with the laundry deliveries, as he’d still been with Louisa. That had been her intention.
She shifted her attention back to George. “What’s your mother like?”
“She’s not as strong as she used to be, though she’d never admit it. Wait, I’ll get a picture.” He thumped up the stairs and returned with a small likeness of a lady with silver hair and a direct look. There was a strong family resemblance.
“She looks sweet,” Madge commented.
He chuckled. “Sweet and determined. Tell me about your family.”
She told of her sisters and described their life in quick detail.
“No beau?”
She hesitated. Wished she could deny it. But she couldn’t admit it, either. “No,” she said.
“I sense there’s more to it.”
“I care about a man, but he’s not for me.”
“Who is he for, then?”
“For another. One more worthy and deserving.” She tried to believe it, but a stubborn bit of defensiveness argued Judd would find Louisa far too soft and needy.
“My dear, any man who would think that isn’t worthy of you.”
His kind words brought a sting to her eyes. She wished she could explain Judd hadn’t suggested such a thing.
George wisely dropped the subject. “I have a few family mementos to put out. Would you help me?” He brought in a box. They set out family pictures and hung some paintings—only copies but still lovely. Then he pulled out a crystal bowl. The light struck it, sending flickers of color across the room.
Madge caught her breath. “It’s beautiful.” She could picture it full of truffles or Christmas oranges. Or sitting on a crocheted doily. She put it in the center of the table—she’d find a doily later. Would the table abandoned at the Cotton farm clean up as nicely as this one had? She rubbed the polished surface. Not that she had anything like this crystal bowl to put on it. The floors at the farm looked as if a good cleaning would fix them, but the old wallpaper would have to come down.
She
closed her eyes, pushing away such useless dreams. George moved to her side, staring at the bowl.
“It’s all I have left of my former life. Alas, like many, I over invested in the market. Got too bold and, I suppose, too greedy. Lost everything. To my sorrow, I lost more than my own.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It taught me a lesson…don’t trust in things that can be so easily lost.”
Trust. She’d never found it as difficult to trust God as she did now. Would He make it possible for her to love Judd, or…she could barely breathe…would He provide the strength for her to watch Louisa marry him?
“Sometimes—” her voice was a mere whisper “—it’s hard to rest in God.”
“True, my dear. But easier than taking matters into our own hands and having to deal with watching things crumble before our eyes.”
She sensed personal, raw experience behind his words, but they were wise comfort. She’d trust God to work things out.
It was late when she finally headed home. Truth was, home no longer felt like a place of safety and shelter. She feared she would encounter Judd at every turn and had come to dread Louisa’s dark glances. If George had invited her to stay and share his meal she would have done so gladly, but he seemed to expect she’d want to hurry back to her family.
She’d purposely delayed her return until she was certain supper would be over when she arrived. Sally had left food in the oven for her. Although she wasn’t hungry, she pulled the plate out and sat down to eat. Mother came from the front room to join her.
“Where’s Louisa and Sally?” Madge asked.
“Sally has gone to visit friends. Louisa is in bed.”
“In bed?” That was three days in a row she’d retired early. “Is she sick?” Or pointedly avoiding Madge?
Mother’s hands moved restlessly across the table. “She’s begged for an afternoon nap the last two days.”
That wasn’t a good sign. “I thought—” She assumed once Madge backed off, Louisa would grow closer to Justin. Actually, she’d hoped Justin would tell her the truth about who he was, and Louisa would—what? Did Madge really think Louisa would see Judd as less attractive than Justin? “Has she argued with Justin?”
“Not to my knowledge.”
“Do you think we should ask the doctor to call?” To her shame, she mentally counted the pennies the visit would cost.
“I don’t know. It isn’t like she has a fever or complains of any pain. Let’s wait a few more days.”
The next day Madge pushed aside her desire to avoid Judd in order to observe Louisa. She paused going up the stairs with laundry to watch the pair. Judd read from a textbook. Louisa stared out the window, her mind certainly not on the studies. That alone was more than enough evidence Louisa was sick.
A few minutes later Madge returned, and when she glanced in the room, she saw Louisa with her head back and her eyes closed. Either she was ill or had overtaxed herself with too much studying.
Madge made sure she was at the table for supper, even though it took every scrap of self-control to keep her gaze away from Judd. Not that she needed to look his way to note his ink-stained hands reach for a bowl of potatoes. Hadn’t he said he hated teaching? Her nerves crackled in response to the tension emanating from him. Was he resenting the time he spent tutoring Louisa? Had Louisa guessed? Perhaps that explained the way she picked at her food.
Whatever the cause, Madge determined to get to the bottom of it. As soon as Judd left for the evening, she would speak to Louisa.
Judd didn’t linger. Madge tried to convince herself she didn’t regret the fact, but part of her followed him across the yard. Would he change into Judd clothes and go to town? Would she see him there?
She curtly cut off such thoughts and headed to the front room where Louisa lay on the sofa, her head on a pillow, a blanket wrapped around her. Madge edged a chair close and sat down. “Louisa, what’s wrong with you?”
Louisa’s eyes flew open, and Madge blinked before the anger she saw. “Besides never having any energy and always having to take whatever scraps people toss my way? Why, nothing, dear sister. Nothing.”
The accusations burned a hole in Madge’s heart. “Louisa, that’s not fair. I don’t do that. I’ve always helped you as best I could.”
Louisa looked ready to cry. “I know you do. I’m sorry. I’m just feeling such a burden to everyone.”
Madge knelt beside the couch and pulled Louisa into her arms. “You’re my sister. You could never be a burden.”
Louisa shivered. “Even if I took the man you love?”
Madge stiffened. Were her feelings so obvious? She’d tried her best to hide them. She forced a little laugh. “Can you see us falling in love with the same man? I can’t. You’d want someone kind and gentle and interested in studies.” Like Justin. “I’d want someone bold, adventuresome, hardworking.” Like Judd. Oh, what a muddle.
“No one will ever love me. I’m too much bother.”
That brought a genuine laugh from Madge. “You need to clean your mirror so you see the beautiful girl there next time you look in it.”
“You think I am?”
Madge pushed away to grin at her sister. “Louisa, I’m the workhorse and you’re the beauty. If you weren’t my beloved sister, I’d be jealous.”
Louisa laughed. “And if you weren’t my sister, I’d be jealous of how hard you work.”
“Don’t ever wish to trade places with me.”
“Sometimes I do.”
“Oh, no, dear sister, never.” How could she harbor selfish thoughts when Louisa was so generous?
Louisa sat up and faced Madge. “I could not bear if something came between us. Especially if it was my fault.”
“That will never happen.” Madge vowed not to be guilty of creating a rift between them. If Louisa loved Judd and he learned to love her…and why wouldn’t he? As she said, Louisa was the beautiful one.
They talked sister stuff for a few minutes, then Madge left to make her deliveries, more convinced than ever not to interfere with Mother’s plans for Louisa and Justin.
She dropped off laundry at two places, picked up more to wash at two other places and decided to drive past the Gratton house before she headed home. Maybe George would be on the porch and she could stop for a visit. She found a great deal of comfort from his wise words.
But he wasn’t outside. The only light was in the front room. She glimpsed him sitting in an armchair reading. She had no right to disturb him.
A shadow separated from the fence, and she stared as it turned into Judd. Was he waiting for her? Hoping to catch a ride home?
She could not bear the thought of being sequestered with him in the tiny space of the car, filled as it was with so many memories, so she pretended not to notice him and sped on by.
Madge hoped her little talk with Louisa would make her feel better. She purposely avoided Judd as much as possible, thinking Louisa would take heart. It stung more than Madge cared to admit to snub him, especially when she caught a flash of confusion on his face. She didn’t know what else to do. Seemed every choice she made hurt someone. She prayed long and hard, but her prayers yielded no change—not in her heart nor in the situation between Louisa and Justin.
Despite all she did to help her sister, Louisa grew more and more morose. Finally, Mother called a family meeting. “Louisa, I’ve consulted both Sally and Madge and have their full agreement. We don’t like to see you going downhill this way. I’ve decided to ask the doctor to visit. Perhaps he can suggest a tonic or something.” The worry in Mother’s voice spoke for all of them.
Louisa bolted upright in her chair. “No, Mother. It’s not necessary. My ailment isn’t something the doctor can give me a prescription for.”
“You can’t go on this way.”
Louisa seemed to fight an internal battle, then she nodded. “You are quite right. It’s time I fixed things.” She pushed from the table. “I need to be alone to work things out and then I’ll take
the action I need.” As regal as a queen, she left the room.
Mother, Sally and Madge stared after her.
“What on earth?” Mother asked. “What is she talking about?”
“I don’t know,” Madge said. Sally echoed her words.
But they didn’t have to wait long to find out. Louisa returned an hour later with a quiet determination in her expression.
“Are you okay, dear?” Mother asked.
“I’m fine.” Louisa’s voice was firm, and she sat down and opened a book.
Madge waited until Mother went outside to help Sally in the garden to approach her sister. “Louisa, what’s going on?”
Louisa smiled. “I’ve been guilty of feeling sorry for myself and worse, but I’ve repented and I intend to correct my behavior.”
Madge opened her mouth twice—once to protest, but no words would form, and a second time to demand specifics.
“That’s between myself and God,” Louisa said—and she would say nothing more.
Finally, in frustration, Madge gave up prodding her sister. “I have no idea what you think you’ve done, but so long as you’ve dealt with it and can stop moping about…all I want is for you to be happy.”
Louisa nodded, her expression serious. “I want the same for you.”
Madge nodded. She’d never questioned Louisa’s love, just as she hoped Louisa would never have cause to question hers.
Chapter Nine
Judd sat beside Louisa in their customary place. He struggled to keep his thoughts on the lesson he’d prepared, but it proved a challenge, especially when Louisa looked for her usual keen attention. “I’ve heard good things about the play, Deacon Dubbs, that the community of Bowwell is putting on.” Louisa mentioned a town almost an hour’s drive away.
Judd murmured a noncommittal sound. Louisa had made her interest in him quite plain. He’d done his best to make it equally as clear that his interest lay elsewhere—on her sister.
“Madge has mentioned she’d like to see it.”