by Becky Lower
“And because of this random Indian sighting, Sully has come to the conclusion you’re going to need to protect my honor? Isn’t that a bit of a stretch, even for this town?”
William brushed his hand down his face. “The minute you take Missouria into town, people will begin to put the pieces together, Susannah. I accept your word when you tell me nothing happened between you two except for his aid in the birth. But other people? People who only see a dark-haired, oddly-named child when all our other children have light hair and ordinary names? They won’t be so quick to discount the rumors.”
“Well then, maybe we should consider selling off this farm and moving somewhere else. Although it would break my heart to leave Mary and William, Jr. behind on the hill. Lydia would be beside herself. She’s been going to Mary’s grave regularly, and Raoul spied her there one day, humming a hymn as she tended the grave. She must talk to her twin, since she has yet to speak to any live person.”
William sunk down again to a prone position and pulled the covers over himself. Susannah took it as a sign they were done talking. She breathed a sigh of relief.
“We’ll make a trip into town soon and see how bad things are. Once you get back to full strength, William, I feel nothing can stop us. But you still have a ways to go and need your sleep. What you don’t need is Sully filling your head with worries that you can do nothing about.”
“Come to bed, Susannah.” He patted her side of the mattress and opened his arms to her.
She hadn’t yet changed into her nightgown, nor had she washed up or rebraided her hair. But she caught the gleam in his eye, and none of it mattered. She stepped out of her dress, letting it puddle on the floor and climbed into bed with her husband. Her naked body curled up against him. For the first time since he’d come home, her body was on full display to him. He ran a hand over her swell of hip and dipped between her legs. She grew damp from his touch. His kisses scorched her lips and skin, and she caught a glimpse of the old William again. His moans of approval as she touched him in intimate places were music to her ears.
“I have an idea,” he whispered to her in between feasting on her lips. “What we need to do to quiet the folks who would talk about you is to have another child right away. Give them some visual proof that I don’t place any store in the rumors, and that you were faithful to me.”
Susannah murmured her approval. “If it’s even possible, given the hard birth I had with Missouria. But if you’re up to trying, so am I.”
“Her name will be Belle from now on. And yes, I am finally ready to pleasure my wife.”
He took her hand from his chest and placed it on his hardening shaft. She rolled on top of him, not wishing to squander the moment, and positioned herself over him. His manhood penetrated her bit by bit, and she soon was lost in the rhythm of lovemaking, a rhythm that had been so familiar to them both for many years. When she could feel his pace quickening, and his hands wrapped around her buttocks, she increased her movements and they both tumbled over the edge as they gasped for breath.
Susannah moved to his side, and curled herself around him.
“Now, I truly feel that I have my husband back.” She caressed his chest, which was still gaunt from his illness, and hoped to inflame him into another bout of lovemaking before he slept. It had been over a year since she’d been totally intimate with a man, and this one time, as precious as it was, only left her aching for more.
“I’m tired, Susannah. Sully’s visit, and the worry he placed on our doorstep, have worn me out. Let’s wait until morning to make love again. Good night, sweet one.”
She lay in the darkness, her nakedness now chilling her, although it had warmed things up for the first time since William’s return. She left the bed long enough to don a nightgown and hang up her dress. As she climbed back in beside William, she sighed. Raoul had ridden through town after leaving the mountain. Had he been contemplating getting a job there, so he could still see the children and her when they’d come in for supplies? The thought gave her comfort even as she accepted what a foolish and foolhardy idea it had been. Raoul must have come to the same conclusion, since no one had seen him since.
She turned away from her sleeping husband and stared into the darkness. She would not allow the narrow minds of the townsfolk to tear her family away from this patch of land they had tamed. She hoped to hear Lydia’s voice some day, but if all Lydia needed was to communicate with her sister, so be it. She would not remove the child from her dead sister because of rumors about Susannah’s behavior swirling around in town. The years, especially this last one, had shaped her into a tough, strong woman and her children were fashioned in the same mold. They’d weather this storm, with William beside her, defending her honor when need be. And they’d be fine.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Susannah finished washing the dishes from the noon meal. The windows were wide open and the warm April breeze teased the homespun curtains. William made love to her nearly every night, and had been able to do so for more than a month now. She had none of the signs she was pregnant again yet, but if William thought a new baby was needed and was willing to do his husbandly duty each night in an effort to bring that about, she might not tell him right away, even if she were certain a new life was stirring within her. She enjoyed their lovemaking and hoped to keep William occupied in bed each night. Things were falling back into place once again. She hummed as she wiped down the table, clearing away crumbs from the ham sandwiches that had been devoured by her husband and children.
Already, William and Jacob were turning over the soil, with the help of the horse, now named Jasper. She smiled as she recalled the conversation with Jacob once he started referring to the horse by a name. Raoul and he had come up with it together. It was yet one more way Raoul had affected the family. Susannah sighed softly as she dried the dishes and put them away. Despite William’s insistence that Missouria be called Belle, Susannah couldn’t wipe away the time she’d spent with Raoul quite so easily. He’d left his mark on her, much like the bruises he’d caused on her belly when he turned the baby. The marks may have faded with time, but they’d always be there, on her soul.
It was time, though. Just as William and Jacob were turning the earth over, ready to start a new season in the garden, Susannah needed to start a new season of her own. To put Raoul into a neat little box in her mind and pack it away, as she had done with her moccasins, and those of her children. The footwear had bothered William, so she had gathered them up and put them away. Hannah had put up some resistance, though, when asked for hers.
“I promised Lone Wolf I’d keep them always, to remind me of him, Mama. I’ll hide them so Daddy won’t find them.”
Susannah sighed and brushed her hand over Hannah’s braid. She had picked up on the discord in the household and had intuitively put her finger on what had caused the problem.
“You are wise beyond your years, dear Hannah. All right, keep your moccasins, but hide them away.”
Susannah peeked out the window and her heart swelled at the sight of father and son working together in the field. There was many a night when William was gone when she wondered if he’d ever return, if they’d ever be a family again. Now this, the simplest of acts, a father teaching his son how to till the soil and plant the seeds so they could have food this summer, made her smile. Normalcy had returned to their mountaintop. Raoul was in her past. William, and their family, was her future.
She took a jar down from the shelf, made sure the lid was secure, and picked up a bucket. She went to the well and drew up water for both horse and men. Then, she walked to the field and shared a few precious minutes with them as they took a much-needed respite from their work. She brushed her hand through William’s sandy hair.
“Don’t wear yourself out today, William. I need you to be strong this evening.” Jacob was tending the horse and out of earshot.
William captured her lips and caressed her face before lowering his hand to her backside and drawing her i
n close. She could feel his hard shaft as his body molded to hers.
“Never fear, woman. I will have enough strength left for you this evening. In fact, if Jacob weren’t here, I’d take you right now, in this field.”
Susannah laughed. “You’re only saying that because the earth smells so sweet. I’m so glad you’re here, and that you’re getting better. The war may have changed our lives, but we are stronger because of it.”
“We will need every ounce of strength when we head into town soon.”
Susannah laid her head on William’s shoulder. “We will face that demon when we need to. Now, I must get back to the house, and to the rest of our children. Don’t be too much longer in the field today.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
As they family sat at the dinner table that evening, William placed his hand over Susannah’s. She glanced up at him.
“Perhaps we should run into town in the next few days.”
Susannah clutched her chest. She had no wish to face the hordes of people with their suspicious glares.
“Why do we need to go to town?”
“For one thing, Jacob and I have decided the garden plot he tended last year is too small for our growing family. We’re going to expand it, which means we need more seed.”
“But we have enough, don’t we? We’ve got potatoes to plant, corn seed from last year’s crop, tomato seeds that I dried over the winter. We don’t need any more. You and Jacob may have hopes to make the garden bigger, but I don’t need you to tax yourself. You’re trying to take on too much, too soon, William. Let’s leave the garden the same size for one more year.”
William squeezed her hand before letting it go. “And you can guess my second reason for wishing to go to town. We need to get this over with.”
Susannah stared at her husband, pleading with her eyes. The children were busy with their meal and thankfully weren’t paying attention to the adults.
“No.”
William took hold of her hand once again. “And I say yes. What’s the line you always say? We’re only good if we face things together, or some such. Well, let’s face this together. Get it over with, instead of having it hang over our heads. You’ve never been afraid of anything.”
Susannah sighed softly. “Not tomorrow. That’s wash day. Maybe in a couple of days.”
♥•♥•♥
William was right. They did need to go into town, to gauge the reaction of the good townsfolk to their new daughter, to face their suspicions. And he was right about something else, too. Susannah was a strong woman and not afraid of anything. She may not have grasped the idea when he left her side a year ago, but she did now. If the alternative was to put her family, her children, in peril, she’d fight and claw her way out. If the war had done nothing else, it had proved to her she was capable of surmounting any adversity.
Tomorrow. They’d head into town tomorrow. She’d tell William she was ready when he came in for lunch from the new field he and Jacob were working on. A few bored and petty townspeople were not going to get to her.
She was slicing up the leftover meat for chicken salad when Jacob came running into the house, screaming for her.
“What is it?”
He grabbed her hand and began to pull her outside.
“It’s Daddy! He’s passed out in the field. You need to come.”
Susannah’s heart dropped to her stomach as she picked up her skirts and ran alongside her son until they came to the field where William lay. She checked his pulse. He was still alive, but his breathing was shallow and his body poured off sweat. The odor of sickness that had been with him when he first arrived was back again. Susannah tried to pick him up, but she wasn’t strong enough.
“Can you take his legs if I carry his head? We need to get your father into the house.” Jacob had added inches to his frame in the past year, but hadn’t yet put on much muscle. He nodded his agreement, though, and they tried to move William.
“He’s too heavy, Mama. Maybe we can drag him, as if he were a deer.”
“That’s an excellent idea, Jacob. Show me how you and Raoul got the deer out of the woods and into our smokehouse.”
Together, they managed to drag William into the house and hoist him into bed. Hannah ran to the well to get fresh, cold water while Jacob went back to the field to bring in Jasper and the plough and place them back in the barn. Susannah ran a cool cloth over William’s heated body, her heart breaking again.
They had stayed awake late the night before, making love to each other several times. William thumped on his chest as he brought her to yet another orgasm, and declared he was back to his old self. She cautioned him to take it easy this morning, but the new field needed to be plowed, if they were going to try to plant anything in it this year. He had tried to do too much too soon, and the pneumonia, which hadn’t quite left his body, had been waiting for an opportunity to strike again, this time with more ferocity. Susannah would do what she could for him, but she feared the worst. All thoughts of the family heading into town vanished in a heartbeat.
“Hannah, I need you to saddle up Jasper and go fetch the doctor back here for your daddy.”
“Yes, Mama. I’ll be fast and bring back the doctor so Daddy will get better.”
Even if Hannah rode Jasper into the ground in her attempt to bring the doctor here, Susannah feared it would not be in time. Tears streamed down her face as she ran cooling cloths over his fevered body. Such a feeble gesture against the raging storm in his body. Yet, it was all she had to mount an attack with, and she’d keep cooling him off day and night if it meant he would overcome his illness once again. The new normal that their life had become tilted on its axis once again.
“Keep fighting, William. You’ve made it this far. It can’t have all been for naught. We need you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Raoul's own groan woke him. He sat up and slid his hand down his face, his surroundings coming into focus. He was in his warm bedroom at his parents' house, but his body, his bones, were as cold as if he'd been lying on the stone floor of his cave in Ohio. The new vision had come again. Susannah, surrounded by her children, kneeling at a grave. They were all sobbing. It could only mean one thing.
He needed to return to the farm. The time had come. Ginger had been right.
He dressed and began to gather his things together. It was early June, a bit later in the year from when he had traveled to the mountaintop for the first time, so weather should not be an issue. He moved to the kitchen, in search of some fruit and pemmican to take with him.
Instead, he ran right into Ginger, the petite redhead who had been in his thoughts a few minutes earlier, and her children, who were sitting at the table. Raoul stifled a groan and prepared a plate. The pemmican could wait for a while. He sat with his sister-in-law and attempted to have a civil conversation.
"What brings you to Father's house today?"
Ginger smiled at him. "Joseph had to join your father today to take some horses into town and put them on the train. So, I decided, since he'd be gone most of the day, I’d come here and visit with you. Because I won't have the opportunity to do so again."
Raoul rolled his shoulders. This woman unnerved him. "Why do you say so?”
"Call it what you will–woman's intuition, an Indian vision, whatever–but I see you leaving us and heading back to Ohio. To your woman."
"She has never been my woman."
"Perhaps not yet. You arrived early at her side, and your timing was a bit off before. Yet, if you hadn’t been there when she most needed you, she would have died. Don’t you see? That was the fulfillment of your destiny, when you helped her with that difficult birth. Now, soon, it’s time for you to reap your reward. She will be yours in every sense of the word. You love her, she loves you, and you love her children. You will be a good father to them."
Raoul's face broke into a smile. "What makes you so wise?"
"Because I can see what the love of a good woman has done for you.
When you went to the Ojibwa camp for the first time all those years ago, you were an angry young man and you didn’t care much for me, a white woman. Pale Moon changed you, softened you. When she died, you blamed yourself for it and once again, you became angry."
Raoul avoided Ginger's stare by gazing out the window. He would miss the ranch, but he needed to get on the road. His head pounded with urgency for his mission. Yet, he sensed Ginger was not done with him yet.
He growled at her. "So now, because I can sit and have a conversation with you, I am no longer an angry young man? Perhaps I am better at masking it now, since I’ve grown into manhood.”
“No, you can’t hide your true feelings. I’ve seen you with my children. You’re gentle with them, not an ounce of anger in your body. Now, Susannah’s children need you. As does she, even if she is a white woman.”
Raoul turned and stared at Ginger for a long minute. “What you say is true. And I have come full circle, it seems. When I first met you, I was annoyed that Joseph would have picked you for his wife. He could have chosen anyone, yet he aligned himself with you, a white woman. Now, I am about to do the same."
"The country is changing, Raoul. Your grandfather saw the future years ago, when he offered his daughter to your father. Joseph and I have done our part to blend the races together.”
She touched her daughter’s head, who was sitting beside her, and busy with her breakfast. “We have created some beautiful children together. Now, it’s your turn. Go to her. Go to Susannah. The time is right. She needs you now. Her children need a strong man in their lives, to mold them into fine young men and women. And you need to make some babies of your own."
Raoul raised his eyebrows to her. "You are a good match for my brother."
Ginger nodded. "We suit each other well, yes. So…are you leaving today?"
"Yes, I will get my saddlebag loaded up and be on my way before the sun gets too much higher."