by Amy Lillard
What made the man think he needed help? Because he was sitting in a church pew all alone?
Something dropped onto the leg of his trousers. Something dark and wet.
Tears.
He needed help because he was crying?
Did he need help?
“Father,” Jed managed to choke out. “Father,” he said again.
The kindly priest slid into the pew next to him and patiently waited for Jed to continue.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Not at all.
Birdie wiped away the tears from her face and steadied her steps as she meandered through the foot traffic on the streets of Sacramento City. This was it. She was where she had been waiting to be, though the joy she had thought would be hers was fleeting.
Her leg ached and she was sure it was the stress of rushing out and leaving Jed behind in the little chapel. It didn’t help that she still held the deed to the mine and the voucher the banker had written her. It was in the new reticule she had purchased and not wanting a repeat of the previous theft she had endured she held the bag close to her, pressing it and her hand to a spot very near to her heart. Then again, what did it matter? She didn’t want the gold. What did it matter who had it? If she gave it to God, Jed would accuse her of buying her forgiveness, perhaps she should give it to some poor unsuspecting soul there on the streets.
But she didn’t. She held it close to her as she made her way to the mercantile. Looking back, she wondered how she had managed it.
Jed had claimed all along that he had done heinous things, things that even a kind and loving God couldn’t forgive. Deep down she supposed she had believed he was a hold out, thinking himself worse than he truly was. Afterall, didn’t most claim to be unworthy? She had thought perhaps once he was in a church, back in God’s arms that he would succumb to the undeniable love.
She had been wrong.
Not about Jed. But about how he would react. She still knew in her heart that the Lord would forgive any trespass he claimed. The Bible said as much. But only if he asked for that forgiveness.
She nearly wilted with relief when she saw the mercantile up ahead. Nelson. He would make it all better. He would...well, she wasn’t sure what he would do, but he was the only other friendly face she knew in this town. And right now, she really needed a friendly face.
“Birdie.” He rushed over the moment she walked in the door. Her eyes hadn’t even adjusted as he took her hands into his. “Whatever is the matter?”
She shook her head, unable to answer that question. Somehow it was too personal.
Too personal? This is your fiancé!
“I need...” she started, then shook her head. “I want...” That was better. She swallowed hard, not quite sure of what she was going to say next until the words were in the air between them. “I want to get married as soon as possible.”
The next two days flew by as if carried on the wings of an eagle. Occasionally the minutes and hours went by so fast and others seemed to float in a lazy circle. Somehow she managed to buy her trousseau and a ring for Nelson. This afternoon she would be his wife.
The thought was staggering. Uplifting and at the same time a bit terrifying.
Which was ridiculous. She had wanted to be his wife for the last five years. It should be nothing short of thrilling.
And it was, she told herself. Thrilling beyond measure.
In those two days she had also managed not to run into Jed. There were no more side-by-side baths with only the adjoining door to separate them. In fact, there was no sound at all coming from his room. She suspected that he had moved out. To another room. Perhaps another hotel. And most likely she would never see him again.
The thought made her heart pound heavily in her chest. She might have fallen in love with Jed, but she had always been in love with Nelson. Nelson who was godly and good, a pillar in the community. Not someone who thought that they were so unworthy that they didn’t even try. Someone like that had to seek the forgiveness and self-improvement on their own. There was nothing you could do to help that sort of person. They had to do it themselves.
Lord, please give Jed the direction he needs to find the forgiveness that is promised to him. Amen.
She wanted to say a prayer for herself, that she was making the right decision. That she was fulfilling her true destiny in marrying Nelson, not one that she had made up in her head. But she didn’t. She had made up her mind. She was marrying him in just a couple of hours. They would stand before God and the preacher and declare their devotion to one another.
And she didn’t like praying for herself.
She looked at herself in the large oval mirror. Everything was in place. Her pale blue dress was as fancy as the green one she had purchased when she first got to town. It was soft and lovely and perfect for the occasion.
Her pale hair was piled on top of her head in ringlets of curls that should have belonged to an angel. Her eyes were a deep and bottomless blue, her color pink and glowing. She looked every inch an excited, nervous, waiting, willing bride.
But she kept thinking that she had forgotten something. That she had been so wrapped up in her own grief and sorrow that she had let something important slip her mind.
She had the certificates for the gold and the deed for the mine in her reticule. She would hand them off to the preacher as soon as she and Nelson exchanged their vows. Last time she had tried to turn the money over, she had left the church with the items still in her possession. But that had to do with Jed, and she wasn’t thinking about him today.
But thinking of Jed, however briefly, led to thinking of Lin Sing and suddenly she remembered what she had forgotten.
Walking with a purpose, she let herself out of her room, then down to the lobby and over to the mercantile. She was greeted with smiles and nods as she swept up the stairs that led to the second floor.
But her fingers trembled as she knocked on the door to the suite she would soon share with Nelson.
The door started to open, but she grabbed the handle and pushed it back. “It’s me, but I don’t want you to see me.”
“Are you okay, my sweet?” His voice was filled with concern and caring. What had she done to deserve a man such as Nelson O’Neil?
“Y-yes, of course. I have on my dress and—”
“You want it to be a surprise,” he finished.
“Yes.” She breathed a sigh of relief as the tension on the door slackened and she was able to pull it to.
“If you don’t want me to see you,” he asked, “why are you here?”
“Lin Sing,” she replied, simply. “I’m concerned for him. Is there any job you can give him here?”
She could almost hear him sigh from the other side of the wooden door. “We’ve talked about this Birdie. I don’t make society’s rules.”
“But he’s going to work on the railroad. You know how dangerous that is.”
“Yes.” The word was short, not abrupt, just matter of course.
“If we don’t do something, I’ll never see him again.”
“Birdie, I know you care for him, but he’s a grown man. He can do whatever he chooses.”
“If he can, then so can you.”
“Bird...”
“Don’t call me that.” That was what Lin Sing called her. And she didn’t want Nelson saying Lin Sing’s pet name for her in one breath while vowing to not help him in the next.
“I’ve got to do something,” she said.
“We’ll do something tomorrow. Today isn’t the day for all this.”
But somehow tomorrow would be too late. She didn’t know how she knew; she simply did. “No, Nelson. Today.”
“Let me get my hat. I’ll come with you.”
She wanted to refuse him that, tell him that she needed to go alone, that she didn’t want him to see her dress, or solve her problems, or maybe that since he wasn’t willing to help Lin Sing beyond what society allowed that he didn’t have the right to go. But she didn’t.
She stepped back and waited for him to fetch his hat and join her on the small landing outside his apartment.
Soon to be their apartment.
“Birdie,” he breathed her name like the words of a prayer, then bent to kiss her cheek. She appreciated the sentiment, but she had to take care of this matter before she could bask in his loving attention.
“Let’s go.”
Despite her limp, Birdie stayed three steps ahead of Nelson all the way to the Chinamen’s camp. Every so often she heard a small gasp from behind her and she knew that Nelson was getting the same shock that she and Jed had received when they had ventured down earlier in the week.
Suddenly she felt Nelson’s fingers on her arm. “You shouldn’t be down here,” he said.
“Neither should Lin Sing.” She lifted her chin in a definite challenge for him to cite society’s rules to her once more, but he smartly remained silent. At least on that matter. “When you find him, what are you going to do?”
“I’m going to give him the mine.” She hadn’t realized that was her plan until she had said the words.
“Birdie.” He kept his hold on her but stopped, forcing her to do the same.
“You can’t give the mine to an Oriental.”
“It’s my mine; I can do with it as I please.”
“But—” He stopped no doubt rendered speechless by her firm demeanor. “Mr. Evans, can you talk sense into her?”
Mr. Evans?
Birdie spun back around to see Jed standing there with Lin Sing, both of whom were watching them closely. “What are you doing here?” she demanded.
“What are you doing here?” he countered.
“She’s come—” Nelson stopped, clearly reluctant to give words to her true intentions.
“Nelson is unable to give Lin Sing a job so I’ve come to offer him money and property so he doesn’t have to work on the railroad.”
“I came to see if he wanted to take whatever money we had and head to Oregon Territory.”
Lin Sing bowed.
“What’s in Oregon Territory?” she asked.
Jed shrugged. “That’s what we’re going to find out.”
If they went north, she would never see them again, neither one of them. The thought was heartbreaking.
“Birdie.” Nelson tugged gently on her arm and drew her attention back to him. “He’s fine.”
It took her a moment to realize that Nelson was talking about Lin Sing. If Lin Sing went to Oregon with Jed, then he wouldn’t join a railroad crew. He would be safe.
“Let’s go.” Nelson gently urged.
Birdie stalled. She tugged her arm away and reached into her purse and pulled out the voucher and the deed. “Here.” She held them out toward Jed. “The two of you deserve this. I wouldn’t have made it down the mountain without your help.”
Jed stared at the papers, trembling in her hand. “I thought you were going to give them to the church.”
She shrugged. “You can. If you don’t want them. Or you can buy the salvation you think you don’t already have.”
“I took my brother’s life,” he quietly confessed. “He woke on the third day and couldn’t feel anything from his neck down. Something had happened to him in the water. He wanted to die.” Tears filled his eyes, and Birdie felt her own slide down her cheeks. “He begged me to.”
“There was nothing else you could have done,” Birdie told him.
Lin Sing, Nelson, and everyone around them seemed to fall away as he continued. “I suppose I should thank you,” he said. “I talked to the priest that day in the chapel, told him what had happened. He said God knew I was brave. That I did what I had to do and I was forgiven.”
“See?” Her voice caught on a sob.
“But I’m not brave,” he said. “I’m going to walk away and let you go.”
“Let me go?”
“I love you, Birdie. I’m not sure how it happened, but there it is. And I would love to tell you what a fine catch I am, how much I have to offer you, but the truth of the matter is Nelson is the better man. He can give you everything you deserve and more. But I love you all the same. I just wanted you to know.”
“I love you too,” she whispered.
Behind her, Nelson coughed.
She turned to him. She had made her promises, and she would see them through.
Jed knew it as well. He stepped back, closer to Lin Sing and waited for them to leave.
I love you, but...
She and Nelson would be married and that would be that.
“Birdie.” Nelson coughed and stepped forward.
She took one last look at Jed to remember his face, though she would always picture him with a beard, a little wild though there was no better protector. She turned back to her fiancé.
“I love you, Birdie,” Nelson said. He took both of her hands into his own and squeezed her fingers. “I always will. You’ve been sister, daughter, and fiancée to me, but I can’t stand in the way of your true happiness.”
“Nelson, I—” Was he saying what she thought? Could she trust her heart? Or was she hearing the vows she wanted to hear?
“I promised your father that I would look after you. And I had fully planned to do just that. But now I think the best thing is for you to marry, Mr. Evans here.” He looked to Jed and pinned him with a stare. “You are planning on marrying my Birdie, aren’t you?”
Jed swallowed hard. “If she’ll have me.”
Her heart soared. But Nelson...
She stepped toward him torn, between the love she had for Jed and the obligation she felt toward Nelson.
“She’ll have you,” Nelson assured him.
“Nelson?” she started.
He shook his head. “I can make you happy,” he said. “I can give you everything you want, but I can’t be someone else.”
She reached up, touched his face, her heart torn. “You’re a good man, Nelson O’Neil.”
He smiled, a little sadly. “So I’ve been told.” He grasped her hand in his, squeezed her fingers, then let her go. Then he took out his pocket watch and checked the time. “If we hurry, we just might make it in time.”
“In time for what?” Birdie and Jed asked at the same time.
Nelson smiled. “Your wedding, of course.”
Later it would be said that it was the only wedding to take place in Sacramento City where there were two grooms, one bride, and a Chinaman as the best man.
Birdie left a small fortune for the preacher and his church and gave even more to Nelson. He said he didn’t want it, that it felt too much like she was buying her freedom from him, but Birdie made him accept it anyway. There was enough gold to go around. They gave some to the little chapel where Jed found his forgiveness, left a little for the porters who had toted bucket after bucket of hot water for Birdie’s endless baths, they gave some to the Oriental men in the camp. And of course, they kept a little for themselves. Not a fortune, but enough treasure to see them through to whatever life held for them. And a few supplies to get them started. Like three horses and three mules to start their next adventure.
Birdie adjusted her hat lower over her eyes to cover and protect her face from the sun. She shifted in her saddle, more than happy to be back in trousers once again.
“North to Oregon?” she asked, as they walked their mounts out of the livery stable.
Lin Sing bowed, a tremendous feat to perform while on the back of a horse.
Jed shrugged and pulled up on the reins, stopping his mount. She and Lin Sing followed suit. “I hear there’s silver in the Utah Territory.”
“Silver?” Birdie asked.
Jed shrugged again. “‘For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also,’” he quoted, turning his horse north, but leaning toward the east.
Lin Sing nodded, and Birdie smiled. She followed Jed knowing that their treasure would be anywhere they were together.
DEDICATION
To my Daddy, Stanley Davis...for giving me
a love for history and all things “West.” I miss you! <3
ABOUT AMY
Amy loves nothing more than a good book. Except for her family...and homemade tacos...and maybe nail polish. Even then reading and writing are definitely high on the list. After all, Amy is an award-winning author with more than forty novels and novellas in print.
Born and bred in Mississippi, Amy is a transplanted Southern Belle who now lives in Oklahoma with her deputy husband, their genius son, and three very spoiled cats.
When she's not creating happy endings or mapping out her latest who-dun-it, she's usually following her teen prodigy to guitar concerts, wrestling matches, or the games for whatever sport he’s into this week. She has a variety of hobbies, including swimming (aka, floating around the pool) and crochet, but her favorite is whatever gets her out of housework.
She loves to hear from readers. You can find her on Facebook, Bookbub, and Goodreads. And for more about what inspires her books check out her pages on Pinterest. For links to the various sites, go to her website: www.AmyLillardBooks.com. Or feel free to email her at [email protected].
OTHER TITLES FROM
AMY LILLARD
CHRISTIAN Historical ROMANCE
The Gingerbread Bride—part of the 12 Brides of Christmas collection
Not So Pretty Penny—part of Lassoed by Marriage
As Good As Gold—part of the Oregon Trail Brides
The Wildflower Bride
AMISH ROMANCE
Caroline’s Secret
Courting Emily
Lorie’s Heart
Just Plain Sadie
Titus Returns
Marrying Jonah
The Quilting Circle
A Wells Landing Christmas
A Home for Hannah
A Love for Leah
A Family for Gracie
A Mamm for Christmas—part of The Amish Christmas Sleigh
A Summer Wedding in Paradise—part of Amish Brides
Saving Gideon
Katie’s Choice
Gabriel’s Bride